The Sound of Her Tears

Alessandro was in the dining area of his room, finishing a leisurely breakfast. Rocco had cleared the main plates and put dessert in front of him – the bread pudding he had asked for. 'So this is what got her so excited,' he thought, tentatively biting into a spoonful of it. The bread was generously soaked in milk and sprinkled with raisins. He also tasted a hint of vanilla. Not bad, but too sweet for his liking. He had never been very keen about sweets, which was why he didn't often have desserts.

But this time, he was happy enough to help himself to the creamy concoction. It somehow made him feel connected to the girl, like he was slowly getting to know her better. It mildly frustrated him that they'd only been having very limited one-way conversations on his part – hardly even a minute at a time. He wanted to have a proper talk with her. He wanted to see her expression when she was surprised. He wanted to sit beside her and watch her as she savored the bread pudding that she seemed to like so much.

"How do you find it, Your Majesty?" Rocco politely inquired when he saw that the emperor had eaten all of the bread pudding.

"It goes well with black coffee," Alessandro decided, reaching for the cup and taking another sip of the freshly brewed drink.

"Would you like the chef to prepare more desserts for you, Your Majesty?"

"No. That will be enough for now," Alessandro replied. Of course, if he heard her gush about another dessert that she liked, he might just be curious enough to try it too. He smiled. His day was off to a good start.

*****

I surveyed my reflection in front of the hazy mirror. I was dressed in a light blue plain, button-down dress and had tied my hair in a ponytail. It was my day off and it would be my first time to step out of the palace since Caio had brought me here. Of course it wasn't my first day off ever – the servants were granted one every week. But it was the first time I wasn't too tired to do something else besides lie in bed all day.

I still caught up with a much needed rest, deciding to forego breakfast in favor of more sleep. But after starting my day in the late morning and joining the other servants for lunch, I felt I had enough energy to tackle my next challenge: go on an outing. I supposed I could hitch a ride easily enough; the back door of the kitchen palace was often frequented by merchants delivering a wide assortment of goods. But simply going to town was not the hard part. What was difficult was figuring out exactly how I could go to the place I really wanted to visit.

A knock lightly startled me. "20, are you inside?" I heard Monsieur Di Almarati's voice call out. I shook my head as I hurried to the door. It was like getting a call from my boss on my precious weekend. 'What does he want?' I thought grudgingly.

However, when I opened the door, I was even more surprised. "The archduke would like to see you," Monsieur Di Almarati announced. He motioned to the man behind him. "Here she is, my lord."

Caio stepped forward and greeted me with a smile. "How are you today, 20?" He then turned to Monsieur Di Almarati, "You can go." I tried to hold back a grin. This was almost an exact repetition of the scene yesterday at the hallway.

"Yes, my lord." Monsieur Di Almarati bowed and left us immediately.

As soon as we were alone, though, my amusement quickly gave way to embarrassment. Caio was just outside my doorway. He was literally right there. I looked at him in his military uniform with an insignia identifying him as the empire's general and I fumbled inside my pocket for my slate. 'What are you doing here?' I asked, feeling even more frumpy standing in front of him.

"I came to give you this," he smiled again, handing me a small pouch.

I took it and untied the clasp, revealing a writing slate bordered with flowers. The wooden surface was smooth and it gleamed as it caught the faint light in the corridor. I looked at the other contents in the pouch, and took out a matching writing stick and even a dainty wash cloth. Then, putting everything back in the packet, I took out my improvised slate again. 'I can't believe you did that!' I exclaimed.

"I thought you might need proper writing materials," he replied, obviously pleased that I liked his gift.

'Thank you, I love it.' I stepped closer to him and gave him a light hug, momentarily forgetting my manners. When I had realized what I was doing, I quickly stepped back and silently cleared my throat.

Seeming not to mind my sudden burst of excitement, he asked something else instead as he gestured to my dress. "Are you heading out of the palace today?" He must have already heard from Monsieur Di Almarati that it was my day off today.

'Yes,' I replied.

"Where are you going?"

I paused, my hand suspended on my writing slate as I contemplated on how to answer him, and Caio saw my hesitation. "Is something the matter?"

I looked at him, my eyes sober. 'Would you mind stepping into my room for a minute?' I didn't want anyone accidentally overhearing our conversation, even if it's just on Caio's side.

Reading my expression, Caio nodded easily. "Of course not."

He followed me inside, and as soon as I had locked the door, I took a deep breath and turned to him again. 'I'd like to go to the war field, the place where we first met.'

*****

I looked at the quaint countryside views as the horse steadily galloped on the dirt road. We had passed by wide acres of farms tended by local villagers, a long stretch of forest, and a small, picturesque lake with emerald waters that sparkled in the midday sun. When I had told Caio I wanted to go back to the scene of the battle, I was hoping he would help me. He was the best person to do so since he knew exactly where I was referring to, after all.

Still, the help I was hoping for was more along the lines of giving me directions on how to get to the place, maybe even letting me ride with him to town. I certainly didn't expect him to volunteer his services and take me there himself. So that's how I found myself on horseback again with Caio behind me. Like that night, he had one hand securing the reins and the other firmly anchoring my waist. But compared to the first time, I was a lot more clear headed today.

When I noticed the landscape slowly becoming barren and deserted, my breath hitched in my throat and I sat up straighter. "We're almost there," Caio said, confirming my thoughts. Soon, he reined in the horse and we got off. And there, spread out before me, was the remnants of the battlefield I saw that fateful night – the night that brought me to another world.

I walked slowly, almost as if I was in a daze. There were some trees that managed to survive, but they were clearly charred from fire and the few random leaves that they still held easily swayed to the light breeze.

I remembered opening my eyes to the horrifying sight of dead bodies around me and the screams of people dying. I had never seen so much gore and violence before. Now there was hardly any sign of life, but somehow the desolate scene was just as terrifying for me. 'How am I going to get back home?' I wondered desperately.

Almost unconsciously, I dropped to my knees and felt my tears start to fall. I thought of all the things I had involuntarily left behind in Seoul, the most important people in my life. I imagined my parents coming over for a visit, bringing me some of my favorite side dishes. I remembered getting messages from my friends, inviting me for an impromptu hangout. I thought about the many times I had waited for Bong-su in his apartment, preparing home-cooked dinner for him. I wondered if he even bothered to check up on me. Then I realized that he seldom came to my place, and when he did visit he was always empty handed, expecting me to prepare a meal for both of us instead, and I cried even harder. 'What am I going to do now?'

Caio kept his distance, affording her the privacy she needed. She was completely collapsed on the hard ground, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs, and his heart constricted at the heartbreaking scene. He knew what it was like to lose a family because he had experienced it himself. But as much as he wanted to go to her, he knew she would appreciate personal space more than comfort, so he regrettably turned his back on her. That was the best thing he could do for her at the moment.

*****

Alessandro was in the middle of a meeting when he heard the girl crying. He looked up from the document he was reading, losing his train of thoughts. "Let's take a break," he said, addressing the ministers seated at the long table.

"But Your Majesty," one of them objected, "we're still not done with –"

"Are you challenging my authority?" he asked, and everybody scrambled to leave the room. By then he could hear the girl's sobs clearly – so well, in fact, that they seemed to fill the room. It seemed to be more than just an expression of a bad mood. No, the girl's cry sounded like she was in despair, like she had just lost all hope. "What's wrong?" he wondered anxiously.