Chapter 19: Accidental Confession

"No", I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was panting really hard, my eyes wide like saucers.

What happened Dira, are you alright?", Mariya came rushing to me.

That's when I looked around myself, I was back in my room, on my bed but it was wet and I was too. Must be because of sweat.

As soon as Mariya came towards me, I hugged her tight, afraid to face my fear again.

"Dira", she whispered and held me but didn't utter a single word and I was really grateful.

After a minute or so when my heartbeat and breathing became normal, she held back a little and wiped my tears which I didn't know were flowing.

"It's okay Dira, it was just a dream", she tried consoling me.

"No it wasn't", I snapped, she was shocked at first but then regained her facial expression.

"I… I'm sorry Mariya, I… I just", I couldn't complete the sentence. Sighing I leaned back on the headboard and closed my eyes trying to collect myself.

She sat on the bed across from me.

"I am sorry", I gasped and my eyes shot open to see her holding back her tears, her cold facade slipping.

"I am really sorry, Dira. I'm sorry that I put you in so much danger. I'm sorry for being so hard on you", she rambled on and a tear dropped which was an encouragement for others.

I sat there dumbstruck not knowing what to do. She is not the person I thought she was, the person sitting in front of me has a different personality.

She is worried and guilty for her friend whom she met only a few days ago and is taking all the blame upon herself. I considered her a strong, independent woman and that was the thing I really appreciated about her.

But what I'm seeing now is the complete opposite, she puts up a cold mask to scare people away but she's really a sweet, caring and innocent person on the inside… just like a child.

A sad smile formed on my lips and I went towards her and engulfed her in my arms, this time I was the one who was consoling her. I stroked her hair softly and she held onto me more tightly, crying loudly.

I think she doesn't cry much but when she does, she goes all out.

"I'm sorry, I knew you were not comfortable with training there on the lake, if I hadn't pressurized you so much then this wouldn't have happened".

"No, it's okay, it wasn't your fault", I whispered back but she pushed me back and started shaking me by my shoulders.

"Are you really listening to what I'm saying, you could have died… DIED! Are you taking this seriously? Do you know that if Franco found out about this, he would kill me", she was really exaggerating.

I removed her hands from my shoulders and took them in mine holding it in a tight grip.

"Listen to me and listen well, okay?", I ordered her in a dominant voice which I didn't know I had.

"If I had died then it would have nothing to do with you because this was my choice, you were just helping me out. And Franco wouldn't know a thing, even if he did then I wouldn't let anything happen to you. And for the lake part, I know I was freaking out in the beginning and was not so happy but during the training, I understood why you were so persistent on telling me to train there".

She peeked at me through her lashes and sheepishly asked, "You do?"

I nod in reply.

"Yes, I was confused at first because I thought that everyone told you about my fear but I realized you were just helping me overcome it. You want me to become strong and tough and that won't be possible if I keep holding on to my past and live in fear of one or the other thing that reminds me of them", I whispered the last part knowing she heard me.

She just stared at me with a look I couldn't decipher and a small smile covered her features.

"Ahem", I cleared my throat to grab her attention. She blushed, she actually blushed, my mouth dropped open at her action.

She smoothened her features and putting up her cold look again, she fired the questions I wasn't willing to face yet.

"What happened in the lake? I know something did happen back there. I know you hated the idea of training there but after some time you adjusted to it. When you were in the lake, you were constantly screaming and pushing even when I tried to help you from drowning, you were resisting my help. When you were unconscious, you were whimpering and screaming stop… no, you were completely restless".

I looked down to avoid her questioning gaze.

"Can we please talk about something else?"

"No", she stated, leaving no place for further argument.

I sighed and got up, making my way towards the window.

"There's no other option for you than to tell me the truth…"

Her voice slowly drained away as I focused my attention on the beauty outside. There were flowers blooming and the birds were chirping, flying in the sky. Then my gaze landed on the lake which was clearly visible from where I was and the flashes of what I saw occupied my mind.

"Tell me what happened back there that made you so scared. I know the training was scary but you were doing really fine but then suddenly… what happened Dira? Tell me the truth or I have to…"

"The truth is", my voice boomed through the room stopping her mid sentence.

"The truth is", this time I spoke a little softer, this part is really hard. Sigh.

"The truth is I relived my nightmare again".

"What are you saying Dira, I don't understand", she questioned confused.

I turned around to face her and stared straight at her, balling my fists I told her everything.

"I saw myself beaten by my pack, stabbed by my friend and drowned by my mate", she looked horrified at the sudden change in my behavior.

I went to her in quick, long strides and grabbed her shoulders roughly.

"I was lying there lifeless, no one helped me, not even my best friend who believed me when my parents died and everyone blamed me. She changed into one of them when she fell in love with my mate who put up an act that I rejected him and she believed him so easily".

Mariya gasped, tears poured down my face but I continued as I was reliving my memories and had no control over my mouth.

"My mate rejected me, him, my best friend and my pack drowned me after beating me like crap. Do you know how that feels?", I coughed, my ragged breathing showing how much anger I had accumulated for so long.

"I always knew there was more to the story, that there was something you were hiding from us", she whispered after some time.

I choked after I realized what I had said. All the color drained from my face, I looked at her shocked, stumbling a little.

"The story you told us was incomplete or should I say fake", she sent me a sharp glare and i cowered back trembling.

"It was really obvious from your reactions to the smallest things. I always wondered why you were so scared of us and kept bowing to high ranks".

As the reality that I had outed myself sunk in, I fell to my knees sobbing over my cruel fate. She knelt in front of me and raised my head by my chin.

"You know Adira, it's quite strange to know that an alpha who is supposed to take care of his pack, didn't search for you. We didn't get any missing person information from anywhere so i started to search every pack by myself to ask about a missing girl".

I shut my eyes tight, maybe they told her something. My thoughts were interrupted when she continued.

"But everyone said they never saw you, I even gave them your picture but nothing. It was like you were dropped from the sky and the thing that disturbs me the most is that no one is revealing anything about you even when they know you".

"And that is only possible if the person who rejected you and drowned you was none other than your mate, an alpha… your pack alpha".

I gasped, my eyes wide open as she stared at me with a serious look.