Baby steps

Let me start of by introducing myself. I am shanaya irani, currently hunting for colleges where I can get into. Well all of these college excuses are just to go to mumbai and start an acting career. After giving tonnes of college entrances and interviews ,I still couldn't get into a single college in mumbai. I am ready to take a gap year but my parents didn't allow because I will be 22 when I pass out from college if i join now. If I take a gap year then I will be 23 (the age for marriage). The only option I have right now is to go to a college near me and I can't give up on my mumbai dreams. My mom keeps lecturing me about college and a good salary job. I mean if you are not happy in what you are studying and what ylu are doing, then what is the exact point of earning money out of it. People should run behind excellency to achieve success. And excellency only comes if you are good at it or if its meant for you. Yes I chose the latter and I am going to a college that I am least interested in going to. I have suicidal thoughts but I am trapped in between emotional blackmail and mental torture. What exactly is happening?