The truth of Nerian

It's so warm here. And soft. I could never forget something like this. But it's scary just how close I came to thinking I didn't need it. The shifting embrace of cloth running over my skin, pillows haphazardly thrown around creating an impromptu throne for me curled up in bed.

I reach out from underneath my heaven of softness and cloth to grab a nearby bottle, drinking in the sweet, clean taste. It's a transcendent experience. Drinking flawless bottled perfection. My body quakes with joy, tears welling in my eyes.

A soft buzzing noise draws me away from my heartfelt happiness. A click on my phone reveals rows of messages. Questions. Bargains. Confirmations. All worthless to me in my castle atop a bed. I can close my eyes and smile knowing that such petty concerns are beneath me now. I'm royalty here! I'll never need to leave this safe little room again.

Something dark shifts over the corner of my walls. I go completely still, slowly drawing my eyes into focus on something as distant as a few feet away. Little segmented creature crawling along the drywall without a care in the world, or what it stirred in the room's owner.

---

"Are you… That desperate for strength Nerian..?"

I pause for a few moments. Yes. Power is exactly what I want. It's what I've always wanted. But Orphea isn't from earth. She can't possibly understand what strength means back in that corrupt. Worthless little marble.

"Orphea.. I'm leaving. I can't keep playing like an adventurer here. I'm just not smart enough, or careful enough, or skilled enough. Its terrifying how easy it is to just keep going. Keep almost dying. Keep watching people die… None of that exists on earth. My home."

Orphea doesn't shake her head or make a defense of Alius. How could she? She doesn't know a single thing about where I'm from.

"If this life is too demanding, I understand. I will follow you without question."

I'm still in a lot of pain, treating a wound doesn't make it feel much better of course. I don't remember getting hit so hard in the pit of my stomach, or why my throat can't swallow. But It's just another part of this world that I'm not good enough to live in.

"You.. Can't. There are laws. And very strong people who won't let you in… I have to go alone."

It looks like Orphea is injured too, I didn't realize. But the twinkling liquids in the corners of her eyes spoke volumes.

"Do you. Have to go? I can't speak to any guarantee of safety. Or that you won't see others dying… But I can help you.. I have to help you. It's my duty."

I turn away and look over the village. Corpses scattered around on matted earth. I might be able to handle this. Fighting for my life. Killing. But what would it even be for? Its pointless for someone like me to even try playing as a hero here. I'm only going to cause more scenes like this, cleaning up my mistakes over and over again. Leave it to someone more qualified…

"I don't. I don't have to do anything at all. I've never been this free in my life! I can do whatever I like, go wherever I please."

"Then you should-"

"And that's exactly why I should go. There's not a single thing in this world for someone as dumb, lazy, and greedy as me. Life is hard enough on earth… Here it's a challenge. And I don't have that kind of character. I just wanted to have fun, play around in a world where I could DO something. Well turns out I'm pretty shit at doing things."

I turn around and walk towards the pathetic pedestal holding that little fruit shaped artifact. Tossing it into my pocket and turning towards the village, my bag should still be in the hut I slept in. I should load up with everything I can. Fantasy stuff is worth its weight in gold back home I think.

A long breath breaks a few times outside of my vision. When a voice comes out. Its shaky, and off key.

"What should I do, Nerian?"

"I guess whatever you want. Maybe party up with Castel if you can find him. He'd be a much better partner than someone like me. You're free, I never expected you to do what I said anyways."

I feel something warm and wet running down my face, quiet gasps for air behind me. I pause for a second… No. I've played at being a hero too much already…

---

Someone or other knocked on the door. I guess that's the end of my bitter reminiscing. With a long sigh I can just manage to roll off my bed. Almost tripping on my too big, too soft clothes as I drag myself towards the door.

"What."

"Um. Mr Nerian. I just wanted to ask about the bills again…"

"Whats the problem. I already paid."

"Its just… Are you sure? I've never had a tenant pay so far in advance…"

"Yes. Leave me alone."

There's a bit of shuffling on the other side of my door.. Maybe I should buy a thicker one? But the landlord doesn't push anymore. I can hear him walking away, down the hall. And into the elevator soon enough. Leaving me alone to my comfort.

I turn away from the door and snatch a pastic wrapped confection from the stacked boxes nearby. Prying open its sealed packaging to flood my teeth and tongue with heavy, overwhelming sweetness that prickles my throat. Ripping thoughts away with the pure processed sugar, an unnatural taste beyond anything that other world could provide.

Since my sleep is ruined the best I can do is sit down at my desk. There's more news alerts popping up. Guild drama, leaks of more skills and abilities and spells. They're really coming out in the open with all of it huh.. Well. as interesting as that is. I'm in the mood to have some fun.

I open up a familiar application, a little delay of loading cut almost dramatically short by the expensive hardware it's running on. And then the title screen spreads open, a logo in bright golden lettering.

'Champion of the Other World!'

I can't help but chuckle a bit at the name's sheer plainness. Its not nearly that funny, but I'm laughing like it's the best joke I've ever heard. Breath stolen out of my lungs so much that I'm leaning over my desk. Something wet marring the surface as I continue my chest heaving laughter. Slow. long breaths pulling me back to reality.

" 'Patch Notes 15.6' Oh fuck I forgot."

The tightness in my chest was replaced with an aching disappointment as I remembered that this new patch had the devs doing some boneheaded rebalancing of the classes, still I felt compelled to scroll through the long, long, long list of changes this patch had to offer. I rubbed my red eyes while glancing and taking the information, almost mindlessly, with only the slight sting of seeing whatever weapon or class I had decided to choose getting absolutely dumpstered into the ground by bitchy whining fuckers in their discord or something.

I slammed my hand into the desk. Just from the boiling frustration, a sharp ache spread across my arm–images of rats and dark purple shapes appeared in the back of my head. I quickly closed the patch notes' pop-up window and steeled myself to just getting my dailies.

Almost immediately as I attacked the monster, an ice-covered drake, I could feel how sluggish and weak the nerfs had been. It made me feel like I was swinging around a pool noodle, easily what was once mere minutes and maybe then some, is now stretching into a painful 5 minutes. Everytime my muscle memory made me activate a skill, seeing it still on cooldown or not have enough mana by a hairsbreadth amount made me seethe.

As I not-so-thoughtlessly kill another ice drake, I thought maybe I should just respec, maybe even delete this character and get a new one. There was some talk about a new game coming up but there's always talk about a new game coming up anyways. I sighed and just let the frustration and disappointment abade as I slowly sink into a mindless trance of farming the mobs as time passes me by until I my body falls asleep from exhaustion

There really is no world where I'm happier than this.