Reason

Eight years ago

Brian was in a bar near NYU as they were celebrating after the midterms in their third year. He was with Gabe, Erika and their circle. It consisted of some computer science fellows and journalism students which were Erika's friends. They met at a mixer due to one of the computer science guys was dating one of the journalism girls.

"Hello. I'm Gabe." Gabe was introducing himself to every Journalism gal she meets. He wore a casual white tee with a tacky design written with "I love tech" but the girls giggled at him anyway. Humor was Gabe's special skill which helped him become an approachable good guy and he was buff guy that would simply make anyone's head turn. However, he did not have the looks that Brian has. He was handsome but Brian had the cheekbones of a Greek God.

On another table, Erika was talking with some people she met at a bar. She was a social butterfly and most of the time the life of the party. Her blond hair would attract some guys that wanted to hit on her. However, no one did except for the casual idiot jock which Erika would repel automatically. But, not today there was one guy that approached her.

Erika was the conversationalist however most of the conversations she had this evening was as dull as a dung beetle. One talked about his tattoos he got all over his body while one girl talked about the kind of nail art she had done. She was slightly interested in the latter but was later disappointed as she quickly realized she was goth. "I have to go to the bathroom, sorry." Erika excused herself from the goth nail art girl. She ran outside the bar looking for an alleyway. She looked around and then scoured her bag for a pack of cigarette. She pulled one from the pack, lighted it up and inhaled a puff. She then heaved a sigh as she looked at the sky.

"It sure is beautiful tonight." She whispered assuming that no one would hear.

Brian has also been talking to some people from NYU. They were business students and would talk about their business and how successful they were. It was mostly boasting which Brian was not really interested on. When he eyed Erika on her way towards the exit, he secretly followed her.

"I got to agree. The stars are alive tonight." Brian commented. Erika was surprised and was frightened at the sight of Brian beside her.

"You almost gave me a heart attack. You are one soft-footed guy" Erika resplendently laughs which made Brian smile.

Brian was nonchalant all evening but Erika's laugh gave him such life that he did not regret coming to the mixer one bit. "That's a first. I have never been described as soft-footed before but I'll take it." Brian jokingly replied. Brian and Erika was side by side, both their backs on the wall. Erika laughed at Brian's reply.

"So, you smoke, huh?", Brian asked out of the blue. To which, Erika then replied, "Oh, yeah, sometimes, to clear my head or to escape a pretty boring conversation." Erika still smoked a few puffs and blew them nonchalantly into a fuzzy mist.

"The conversations were that bad, huh?" Brian heard her conversation with the people in the bar and he could attest to the fact. He expected a reply however it was only thrown into the wind.

It was at that moment that Erika realized that she had been smoking the entire time. She did not want anyone to know she smokes. She had been hiding this impressively and only smokes when she is alone, completely alone. This was the hidden true self of Erika Connor. Her friends, albeit everyone did not know she was a smoker and she planned to keep it that way.

Shit. This guy now knows I smoke. I hope he's not from NYU. Or my reputation's ruined. Erika thought. She only knew that her friend dated this computer science guy but did not know they were from NYU.

"So, are you by any chance an NYU student?" Erika sparingly asked. Brian was appalled by the question. He was a bit sad at the sentiment. She did not know who he even was but he digressed, it was to be expected anyway. She was a popular kid and he was just a mediocre guy with good looks who has no plans to be popular and just focus on his studies.

"So you do not even remember me, I'm a friend of Josh, the one dating your friend, I'm also a computer science student in NYU like Josh." Brian explained as he stared at Erika.

Shit. Shit. Shit. He's an NYU guy. That's it. I'm finished. My rep's gone. Erika thought in a sad note. She entertained the idea of violence and push him to shut his mouth or she will do something very bad, but it was never her nature to do it.

Brian noticed that Erika seemed slightly uncomfortable and was slightly sweating. He was not a dense guy and quickly understood the reason behind her actions. "It's fine I won't tell." Brian emphasized.

Erika looked at Brian with a slightly shocked expression. She did not expect him to understand the situation that quickly and she then knew that he was a good guy. This made her quite guilty of her earlier thought of using violence to keep his mouth shut. "Thanks." Her tone had a sincerity that punctured Brian's heart.

"Can I get one?" Brian then asked. Erika obviously did not mind and gave him a piece and lighted it after. Brian blew a couple of smoke`.

"You know, I saw you smoking before once. Under the stadium at night, I was going back for something that I forgot back then and saw you smoking. At first, I could not believe it. You probably know it but I'll say it anyway. You are quite popular amongst guys at the university. You were that hot journalism blonde." As Brian paused, Erika took the chance to interject.

"Honestly, you men are just the worst. But I'll take that as a compliment." Brian thought from Erika's tone that she was quite disappointed by the people's objectification of her but she took it quite well and even smiled at him. His eyes sparkled as he was appalled and quite mystified by her unique perspective on things.

"You're quite weird. Who takes that as a compliment? But that's the reason I like you. When I saw you smoking under the bleachers that day, I thought that despite the quite perfect persona you have as a popular image at university. You also have some vices and I thought that you were cool. I thought back then that you were still human, just like me who can curse sometime or steal sometime or ditch a lecture sometime. You also see things with an open mind like how you protested against the anti-abortion law and LGBT rights. You have quite a progressive mindset." Brian was hit hard by the love potion. His complements were delivered with sincerity which made Erika blush. However she kept it quite subtle by facing away from him as he rattled on looking up the sky while telling her words of praises.

"I did not know anyone was watching me at that time under the bleachers… But, thanks for keeping it a secret, ummm.-"

"It's Brian. Brian Santos." Brian quickly replied sensing Erika's predicament.

"Nice to meet you, Brian Santos. I'm Erika –"

"Connor. I know." Brian interjected.

Erika was about to say something but Allison, her friend and the redhead that Josh was dating, suddenly called out her name from the alleyway towards the exit which the both of them heard.

Erika, noticing Allison's call, quickly threw her cigarette and then turned to Brian. "I think I'm gonna go."

"No, please. You can just leave me here, gotta finish this one first before returning back." Brian said with a smile.

"Thanks, Brian see you around." While Erika was talking to Brian, Allison quickly spotted the two of them and overheard Erika's words.

"Hey, Allie. Just went out to take a breather. Let's go in." Erika approached Allison with a bubbly tone.

"Okay. You can go in first, I got to get something from the car." Erika then went back in first in accordance to Allison's insistence.

Present day

"Yeah. I vividly remember that day. You gave quite an impression. I got to thank that secret though. Without that secret, I would not take an interest in you which eventually led to me falling in love with you and your persistence in pursuing me. I can't count how many times you gave me coffee in the mornings." Erika could not help but comment with a smile. She laid half naked next to him as she reminisced the past while listening to his story. She looked at Brian which was still quite focused. It seemed that her comment was not successful in lighting up the mood.

"But the story did not end there. Well, technically, it did but something happened after you left. Allison approached me and told me that I was not enough for you. That you only dated guys that were in your "level of hotness". She even judged my smoking habit. It was quite harsh." Brian said while looking down as if ashamed.

"That moment changed me forever. I could still recount the feeling I had back then, I was not offended. I was determined to pursue you even harder." Brian then looked up like he was energized.

Erika looked at Brian with mixed feelings. She was happy that this was the man he fell in love with. The determination he had was enough for any woman to fall in head over heels for.

However, she hated that she was the reason that he changed. She was the reason that he felt that he had to change for her. And she hated it.