Deluding Himself

"What's your name?"

Lu Shen leaned back in his swivel chair, appearing relaxed but with tension showing in every line.

In a soft and meek voice, Hui Yin answered, "Huian."

She fervently hoped that he wouldn't ask her family name. There was no way she was going to be able to answer.

Lu Shen knitted his eyebrows. "Huian?"

He stared at the girl standing in front of him with her head bowed. Her black hair fell on both sides of her face, hiding her eyes. He wanted her to lift her head, but he was afraid of his own expectations. This was absurd. Just because he thought this maid's eyes were kind of similar to hers...Lu Shen bitterly smiled.

She was gone.

Searching for her shadow everywhere, seeking her in his dreams, haunting the same place she frequently went to...did he think he would find her? He had seen her corpse. He even brought her to the best hospital in the city and demanded for their most skilled doctors to cure her, despite knowing that her chest wasn't moving. There was no life to her, no pulse, no breath.

Ever since she died, he had been deluding himself.

It's been twelve years.

Lu Shen was a man who could achieve success on the first try. But having his hopes dashed and dashed again in the past twelve years—even an invincible man would crumble, what more for a poor person like him, who only had one person in the entire world who truly loved him and was now left with nothing.

He wanted to say that he loved her too.

He wanted to say that he wanted to be beside her, to grow old with her until their hair turned white. To be buried together with her, to call her with a tender nickname and make her laugh. She had been his wife for years, but neither of them had indulged in their marriage. He had all the riches he could ever want, but he had not given it to the right person.

Every time he thought of her gasping her last breath knowing that her husband didn't love her and didn't care for her, Lu Shen felt as if his own heart was being strangled. It was too painful to think about. This was why he did not entertain any thoughts of following after her. Suffering through this pain for a lifetime...this was his atonement.

Living day by day waking up without her by his side—it was the worst torture he could think of.

Hui Yin studied the man who was now staring blankly at his desk, his eyes bleak. She cleared her throat lightly, reminding him of her existence.

Lu Shen had lost interest in the maid and waved his hand. "Go back and have Bolin give you some cold compress and first-aid. Also, tell him to double your salary this month."

Hui Yin let out a breath. "Thank you sir."

She softly closed the door to his study.

While the man had been lost in his thoughts, she was looking over at the documents spread over his desk. But she didn't see anything related to the Wen family. Hui Yin knew where Lu Shen was keeping his most confidential documents. She also knew his laptop password. Should she sneak in his study tonight?

Hui Yin found the butler and told him Lu Shen's instructions. He was a bit surprised, but quickly obeyed. Hui Yin didn't know this new butler. When she had lived here, they had a different butler.

Two hours before lunch, Old Meng Guang ordered Hui Yin to help inside the kitchen. The sous chef was absent due to illness, and this bossy führer had heard that Huian had good cooking skills. It was fortunate that Hui Yin also knew how to cook. After they finished preparing and cooking the food, even the head chef was full of praises about Hui Yin. He wanted to take her under him and be his new apprentice, but Hui Yin politely declined. She didn't want to cause trouble for Huian, since she was only temporarily borrowing her body.

When lunch came, both Lu Shen and Bao Bai sat on the dining table.

Bao Bai and Lu Shen frequently ate together. Although Bao Bai felt that her face had hit rock bottom and she couldn't meet Lu Shen's eyes, she didn't want to waste the opportunity to spend time with him.

Looking at the man who was ignoring her, Bao Bai felt that there was really a person in this world who tipped the scale of favoritism from the heavens too much. Time had also passed by for Lu Shen, but it only made him look even more handsome. Compared to the people who tried their hardest to preserve their youthful looks, this kind of natural attractiveness that only enhanced with the passage of time...just like a bottle of wine, it was irresistibly seductive.

Maids brought in several dishes of food before quietly retreating. Lu Shen picked up his chopsticks and didn't bother to break the awkward silence. It was as if Bao Bai had become one with the chair she was sitting on.

Lu Shen tried one of the spring rolls in front of him and brought it to his lips. Just as Bao Bai wanted to make conversation and ask him if it was delicious, she saw that the hand holding the chopsticks had stilled.