Chapter 10

UNEDITED-

*WARNING* *WARNING*

If you are sensitive to self harm or mentions of suicide, or attempts at suicide, then I urge you not to read this. If you know my writing then you know it can get pretty graphic.

My apologies if you are unable to read.

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"There are surprisingly many things worse than this."

"Either way.. I'm here if you ever want to talk."

Lucille made a small smile. "Thank you.. I will keep that in mind."

Ellie shivered.. "Aren't you cold?"

Lucille slowly shook her head no. "Sorry for letting the heat out.. Why aren't you asleep anyway?"

"I was hungry."

"Do you want me to leave so you can eat?"

"Aren't you hungry?" Ellie asked as she walked to the giant fridge freezer, covering her tracks.

"Honestly I think I'm still a little drunk.."

"You haven't eaten today have you?" Ellie asked as though she was the sound of reason itself.

"Have you?"

"Touché" Ellie smirked.

"Okay so we'll make something.. what do you have?"

"We have a bunch of freezer meals?"

Lucille looked at Ellie as though she was from another planet. "Absolutely not." Lu walked up beside Ellie and started going through her kitchen cupboards. "-Do you have milk and cheese?"

"Yeah I think so.."

Lucille pulled a saucepan from the hanging rack.. She pulled a face seeing the old food still glued to the inside. "Can you wash this up?" Lu held out the pan.

Ellie took it and walked to the sink scrubbing away and splashing soapy water everywhere. Lucille gathered the rest of her ingredients. Flour, milk, pasta, cheese and luckily some bacon that Lucille had found in the fridge. Ellie finished washing the saucepan and walked a few feet over to the tea towel, folded neatly on the counter top. After drying the pan Lucille walked to Ellie to take it, her heel slipped out from under her on the spilled soapy water, she landed flat on her back almost knocking Ellie over with her. Lucille began laughing and Ellie wasn't sure if she should laugh aswell.

"Are you alright?" Ellie asked as Lu sat up.

"Yeah.." After Lucille spoke Ellie attempted to help her up, somehow forgetting the saucepan in her hand. 'Clonk' Straight off the side of Lucilles head. Luckily not very hard even for a humans standards. The sound of impact made Ellie think it was catastrophic.. she quickly put the pan on the counter and leaned down to check on Lucille, who was laughing even harder than before.

"How is this funny?" Ellie didn't know what to do with herself.

"Have you ever played mousetrap?"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"I feel like I'm playing that game.. except I'm the mouse."

"I don't do any of this stuff sober.. let alone drunk. Expect me to be bad at it."

"Fine be bad at it.. just don't give me a concussion in the process." Lucille chuckled again.

"You're impossible."

"Nothing is impossible.. just improbable.." Lucille made her way to her feet and picked up the saucepan. She quickly got to work making them a meal. After fifteen minutes bacon cheese pasta was complete. She plated Ellie's and made a tiny plate for herself. Once Ellie had started eating she didn't stop till after at least three mouthfuls.

"Who taught you to cook?"

"Gina for a little while.. back home there wasn't many options so we had to get creative.. I mean. At boarding school." Lucille corrected.

Ellie watched Lucille push her few strands of pasta around the plate.. "You need to eat.. it's really good."

Lucille sighed and ate two mouthfuls of food before giving up. Her stomach was not happy with this, it used to be her favourite but now nothing fills the spot.. well. There is one thing that kinda does. Lu could hear Ellies heartbeat, the thought of the warm blood rushing through her veins. She squeezed her eyes closed. "I should leave."

Ellie shook her head.. "If you want to be alone I can just go upstairs."

"No, it's alright. I didn't plan on staying this long. Thank you for letting me use your shower, and for looking after Phoebe." .. "-She's lucky to have someone like you." Lucille spoke as she stood up. She began walking and Ellie quickly stood up, stopping her with a hand on her chest. For a moment they just stared at each other.. Lucille could hear Ellie's heart beat speeding up. Then her whole demeanor dropped. She took her hand back and looked to the side in defeat. Lucille carried on walking up the stairs to get dressed into her muddy clothes. After ten minutes she'd gathered her things and made her way back downstairs where Ellie was waiting.

"Where will you go?"

"I'll be alright." Lucille tried to make a comforting smile.

"That's not what I asked."

"Don't worry." Lucille carried on with her chill attitude.

"No. I am worried.. you're making me worried."

"Why?"

"Are you going to call my brother?"

Lucille raised her eyebrows surprised. "Uh.. why does that matter?"

"Last time you partied with Connor, you were almost assaulted, and I had to shove my fingers down your throat so you didn't die from an overdose."

"I'm greatful for that but I really don't need saving."

"Then you and I remember things differently.. if I wasn't there-"

"I remember everything. The sound of his voice, his smell.." Lucille closed her eyes and cringed at the thought of his hand groping her waist.."-I've learned my lesson believe me."

Ellie raised her hand to Lucilles forehead, running it over the fresh scar and an older one next to it across her eyebrow.. Lucille moved her head back at first, unsure of whatever was happening. "You have so many scars.." Ellie examined Lucilles skin.. one of her sleeves had been ripped off, exposing her forearm. Ellie held it and for some reason Lucille let her.

"I'm not weak." Lucille needed to make that clear.

"I know. But you're not invinsible either." Ellie raised her eyes from the huge scar going up Lucille's forearm. "-It's clear that you're hurting."

Once again they were stuck looking into each others eyes. Lucille's gaze dropped first. "Life hurts. That's just the way it is."

Ellie surprised herself by gently turning Lucille's face towards her. She closed her eyes and leaned in.. Lucille was taken aback. Of all things she wasn't expecting this, but for some reason it didn't feel wrong. The kiss lasted barely three seconds before Ellie regained her senses.. Lucille slowly opened her eyes to see Ellie looking nervous as fuck, doing all she can to look calm. Lucille could practically feel the loud thudding of Ellie's heartbeat. "Uh.." Ellie stood searching her brain for what to do next.

"I think I'm just gonna go.." Lucille spoke.

Ellie barely moved, aside from a slight slow nod. Her eyes followed Lucille towards the front door. Only after she heard it close did she go to lock it, resting her forehead against it. "Stupid." She cursed at herself. All that was left to do is go to bed. Ellie carried herself up the stairs and struggled to find sleep after that.. thinking of all the places Lucille could end up.

Soon after the sun had risen, Ellie was shaking Phoebe awake. "What? What is it?" Phoebe slurred with her eyes still closed.

"You need to call Lucille.. see if she's alright."

"Lucille? She's not here?" Phoebe finally opened her eyes.. "-I swore I heard her voice, I must have been dreaming." She reached out for her phone and unlocked it.. "Ellie it's ten to seven."

"So?"

"So she's not going to be awake." Phoebe still dialed Lucilles number, putting it on loudspeaker so she didn't have to hold it up.

The phone rang and rang but no answer. Somehow Ellie convinced Pheobe to call three more times before it was picked up.. "Hello?" Phoebe asked.

"Hello?" A females voice replied.. "-Um Lu is in the toilet right now.. shall I get her to call you back?"

"Yeah, that would be great, thank you." Phoebe replied and the girl hung up. "-Did that seem a little rude to you?"

Two minutes later Phoebes phone rang.. "Ask who she's with." ..

"Why?"

"So you know who to ask if anything happens.."

Phoebe answered and put it on loudspeaker. "Pheebs?"

"Yeah it's me.. are you alright?"

"Never better dear sister.. I found some new friends." After Lucille spoke a few males and females in the back ground 'whoo'd' over the music.. Lucille laughed.

"That's good.."

"Yeah so I'll meet you somewhere in a couple hours?.. oh Sorry Phoebe, got to go.. bye."

Phoebe's eyes moved around as she tried to make sense of how Lucille was acting.. "What's wrong?" Ellie asked.

"Something feels off with Lucille."

"What do you mean?" Ellie asked nervously.

"I don't know.. it's hard to say, we've been apart for too long."

Ellie and Phoebe sat and watched a movie all morning.. Phoebe had asked about the washing up from last night but Ellie managed to blame Connor, claiming it was already there when they came in. Sometime in the afternoon Lucille called Phoebe. "Hey Lu."

"Hello Phoebe.. Brienne is going to drop me off at Kally's Café in twenty minutes, meet me there." And then she hung up. Lucille called back again a second later.. "-Sorry I forgot to ask if you had something to add?"

"No." Phoebe answered.

"Alright.. see you soon."

"Did she say Brienne?" Ellie quickly asked.

"Doesn't Brianne deal drugs?"

"I think Lucille is smarter than that."

Fifteen minutes later both Phoebe and Ellie were sat waiting inside Kally's. "Thank you for coming with me.. I just don't know which Lucille I'm going to get."

"It's alright. I'm sleeping at your house tonight anyway."

"What are friends for huh?" Phoebe looked out the window to the busy sidewalk. Ellie looked at her friend with an aching in her chest.. friends are not for making out with your sister that's for sure.

The sound of a motorbike pulling up gained their attention.. The two removed their helmets, showing Lucille and Brienne laughing together. Lucille was now wearing a new set of clothes, her white hair blowing in the breeze. Brienne was ash blonde with dark blue eyes. "You're welcome back anytime Lu.. you don't need to be wondering the streets anymore." Brienne held out an arm and Lucille half hugged her back.

"Thank you Bree. I think I'll take you up on that." Lucille nodded happily. Brienne nodded back and put her helmet back on.. swiftly driving away.

Lucille casually made her way into the café, she waved to the two girls and walked straight up to the counter to order her coffee and have a quick chat with the lady behind the counter. Afterwards she sat down at their table.. "Sorry I didn't ask if you had ordered."

"We didn't but it's alright, I'll get ours." Phoebe stood up and walked to the counter.. leaving Ellie exactly where she didn't want to be.

"Are we good?"

"Yeah." Ellie nodded, trying to act casual.

"We all do things we regret when alcohol is involved.. right?" Lucille asked.

Ellie reluctantly nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Lucille smiled.. "-Really there was no harm done. You're not my first and you won't be my last."

Phoebe made her way back to the table.. "So how was your night?" She asked while placing Ellie's hot chocolate infront of her.

"It was.. eye opening." Lucille answered. "-How about you?"

"I didn't realise you could get drunk on beer that fast." Phoebe pondered.

Lucille and Ellie both chuckled and glanced to each other. Ellie turned red and looked back to Phoebe.

"Well at least you know now." Lucille smiled and sipped her coffee.

"How was your night Ellie?" Lu asked.. she wasn't sure if it would look weird if she didn't.. but then she couldn't remember if she would have even cared to ask before.

"Huh? Yeah fine."

"You might have enjoyed it more if Sam stuck around longer." Phoebe added.

"Sam?" Lucille asked.

Ellie opened her mouth to speak but Phoebe beat her too it.. "Ellie's boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?.." Lucille nodded with an awkward smile.. "-Ellie has a boyfriend.. that's nice. Good for you." Lu tried to act genuine which kind of set the whole thing off. "-How long have you been in a relationship?"

"Not that long.." Ellie answered.

"This time.." Phoebe filled in the gaps, much to her friends dismay.. "-They've been on and off for years. Friends since they were little.. it's the kind of love you dream about." Phoebe grinned as she thought of her own true love. Whatever he might look like.

"I'll leave falling in love to you Phoebe.. you have a better chance at finding it." Lucille chuckled.

"Don't say that.. you're every guys dream.. sorry, every girls dream. Every lesbians dream?. Shit.."

Lucille laughed.. "I appreciate where that came from, but I think there's work to be done on the delivery."

Phoebe nodded with a big smile.. "I'm glad you know what I mean. Anyway speaking of lesbians.. why were you with Brienne?"

"Is she a lesbian then?" Lucille chuckled.

"Yeah, she's in the year above us, I thought she was moving away.. that's what Dorathea said."

"No idea. As for your original question, I met Brienne at one of the parties.."

"How many parties did you go to?" Phoebe looked panicky, Ellie looked depleted.

"I'm sitting infront of you.. there's nothing to worry about."

"I'm just curious that's all.."

"Fine.." Lucille shrugged.. if she really is just curious. "-Five if you include the club."

"A club?!" Phoebe did not look happy.

"Just curious?" Lucille asked.

"There are grown men at these clubs Lucille.. grown men and women who would love to take advantage of you."

"I've been around long enough to know that Phoebe.. I don't want to argue with you. If telling you the truth brings me this then maybe I'll stop doing it-" Lucille spoke indifferently.. She wasn't mad at Phoebe for being concerned. But she really was safe. It turns out that Brienne is also cursed to survive on the blood of humans.. only she enjoys it a little more. She goes to parties, bars, clubs and pubs to find the worst of the worst.. the sleezy folk who linger in wait for lost wanderers to fall into their lap.

This was much like what Lucille was doing, only here the prey come to you.. A seemingly endless supply. At first Lucille felt bad about what they were doing.. usually she is stopping someone from being hurt.. now she is just hurting someone. "But it's someone who would hurt you first if you let them."

"How can you tell if they're bad?" Lucille asked as she looked back at herself in the mirror.. adjusting her ribbon.

"If they are you'll know pretty quick.. keep an eye on your drink. If they put something in it-"

"Yeah then they're bad, got it."

"I've never met a newborn with so much compassion." A tall brown eyed boy spoke.. he ran his hand backwards through his dark hair with some shiny hair jel.

Bree stood between them zipping up the third jacket she's tried so far. "Me neither.. so what can you do?"

"What do you mean?" Lucille asked confused.

"Like.. my skin is almost impenetrable.. Mike can lift a car over his head. I mean we are much stronger and faster than the humans anyway but sometimes there's an added bonus."

"Oh.. well I never thought about it."

"Can you compell people?" Mike asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Make them do what you want.."

"Like forget things?".. Mike nodded a reply. "-I always called it hypnotising." Lucille liked her word better.

"Most of us can do that one.. makes feeding less, messy." Bree shrugged.

"How strong are you?" Mike asked.

"How am I supposed to answer that?"

"Arm wrestle." He grinned.

"Fine. Where?" Lucille and Mike set up a place on the wooden table to arm wrestle. They stood hand in hand, looking into each others eyes waiting..

"Three, two, one. Go" Brienne called it.

On the table their hands stayed in the centre.. slightly shaking.. Lucille looked surprised yet somehow calm at the same time. Slowly but surely Mike's arm started to ache.. Lucille continued to push his hand down further and further, until he could no longer hold it and she smashed his hand through the wooden table. "Woah, shit Lu, that's nuts!" Brienne exclaimed.

"Yeah.. nuts." Mike rung out his hand.

"How often do you feed?" Bree asked.

"Maybe once a week, sometimes twice."

"How are you still alive? That's basically nothing. Do you know how strong you'd be if you drank more?"

"I'm just trying to keep going."

"You're starving yourself.. you drink from one person, and you leave them alive which means you definetly aren't getting enough."

"I'll be alright."

"If you deprive yourself for long enough Lu, you could loose control."

"Can we just worry about tonight?"

"Lets not worry at all.." Brienne smiled.

-Back to now.

"You know there's security in clubs right? I think they might even be safer than partying at some randos house." Lucille answered.

"I'm glad you told me the truth.." Phoebe answered.

"Good." Lucille smiled.

"Did you do any drugs?"

Lu raised her eyebrow.. "Are you joking?"

"You're not denying it."

"Phoebe.. look at me, do you really think I'd try drugs without you?"

Phoebe's face dropped. "..You read my letters."

"What are we talking about?" Ellie looked between them, completely bewildered.

"I read your letters.." Lucille nodded.

"I actually also wrote you a reply." Lucille went into her bag and pulled out an envelope.

"How long have you been holding on to that?"

"A couple days." Lucille slid it over.

Phoebe took the envelope and held it to her chest. "I'll read it at home." Lucille could hear the lump in Phoebe's throat.. she didn't want to read it in public because she doesn't want to cry infront of anyone.

Lucille smiled warmly to her sister.. "Is everyone finished here? because I really want to get back into my own clothes."

"Yeah.. shall I call Alberto?" Phoebe asked.

"Or a taxi.. I don't mind paying."

"What's wrong with Alberto?"

"Call him if you want." Lucille answered.

Phoebe shook her head.. "Please answer the question."

"He's a spy, they are all spies okay?"

"They aren't that bad."

"Phoebe.. can you just try to see things from my point of view? They knew who was guilty and they didn't say anything."

"How could they have known?" Phoebe asked confused.

"Alberto told me himself."

"I'm sorry Lucille.. I'm really sorry."

"I know you are Phoebe.." Lucille pulled Phoebe into a one armed hug and Phoebe wrapped her arms around Lucille. "-I forgive you." ... .... "Don't cry. I'm your sister.. family is forever. Whether we like it or not.."

Phoebe stepped back quickly wiping her eyes.. "You don't like it?"

"No, I love having you as my sister.. most of the time, recently." Lucille chuckled. "-We're supposed to be looking ahead."

"I know.. I guess I'm apologising for a reason right?"

Lucille nodded.. Ellie still stood watching the whole ordeal. "You're the one that set the fire?"

"She didn't set any fire." Lucille argued.. "-It was an accident."

"I just thought fire looked cool."

"Damn it Phoebe." Ellie looked dissapointed, Phoebe felt the full weight of it.

"I know.. it was the stupidest thing I could've done."

Lucille sighed.. "We both lost alot that day."

Phoebe looked to Lucille and nodded.

"Why didn't either of you tell the truth?"

"The details don't matter... And by the way, I'm calling a taxi." Lucille stepped to the side and dialed the number for the taxi.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have said anything." Ellie tried to coax Phoebe into talking.

"I'd already lost my sister.. I didn't know what anyone would do if they found out she took the blame for me.."

"Friends forgive right?" Ellie heard her own words and felt she was betraying them. "Uh, Phoebe.. I should probably tell you.."

"Tell me what?"

"Taxi is on its way." Lucille jumped in.

"Good." Ellie nodded awkwardly.

"What was you going to say Ellie?"

"I, really can't remember.."

Phoebe didn't seem concerned and the conversation soon shifted to starting school. As they got in the taxi Ellie and Phoebe continued disgussing classes they were going to take while Lucille zoned out to the music playing through the speakers in the background. "What about you Lu? Do you know what classes you want to take?" Phoebe asked.

"I'll figure it out when I get there." Lucille had thought about it.. but with all she knows now there might not have even been a point, she could stay this way forever. Brienne says not many vampires can hold down a normal job. And she might be around a long time to figure it out.

"You seem oddly happy today.." Phoebe looked to Lucille and smiled.

"I feel good.." Lucille answered... she wasn't exactly happy. She just finally ate enough to fully sustain her.. no one had even notice Lucille's healed wounds.

"Me too.." Phoebe smiled.

Soon enough they made it home and greeted their mother.. Gina had been in the kitchen all morning preparing lunch for the three girls. Shiloh was at an art class so the house seemed empty without her bouncing around the halls. Phoebe went off to her room to read the letter, leaving Ellie and Lucille alone. "Can you stop staring at me?"

"I'm not staring.." Ellie argued, then looked away for only the second time in two minutes.

"Say what you want to say."

"I don't want to say anything."

"Hm." Lucille gave up easily.

Ellie sighed. "I was just thinking about the first time we met.."

"When you walked into me?"

"Okay then, and the second."

Lucille looked to Ellie.. "What about it?"

"I was, not very nice to you. I just knew that you were a sore subject for Phoebe, and I read the articles."

"I'm used to it don't worry." Lu made a small smile.

Ellie looked even sadder now. "Okay."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" Ellie asked confused.

"Don't feel sorry for me. I really would rather you didn't." After Lucille spoke her phone rang. "Jen?"

"Hey Lu, what's been going on with you?"

"Uh, not much really.." Lucille stepped away from Ellie and walked deep into the garden.. "-Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Do you think a straight girl would have any reason to kiss another female?"

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NOTES-

Thank you all for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for any and all feedback.

I have no plan at all for this story so you kind of just get what comes out.. maybe it's better that way I don't know. Regardless, take care of yourselves and each other.

Happy Valentine's day if you're reading this the day it's published.

Love love, Peace.