#11. Hold

Instinctively, I reach out to grab his hands.

He turns to me surprised as I hold his hand on mine. His eyes soften as he stares at me. I am surprised by my actions too, but I guess my heart was speaking for itself.

"You're hurt." I say in a quiet voice.

"It's okay. I'm fine." He smiles. Behind that smile, there is an immense amount of pain.

I take off my hair scarf and wrap it around his bruised hands. "This will do for now."

"You're very beautiful." He says in a whispering tone,"Especially with your hair down like that."

And just like that, time seems to stop and once again he's brown eyes draw me in. I'd made a mistake by looking up at and into his eyes. I was trapped! I didn't feel the need to escape, run or hide because it felt right and exhilarating.

He lowers his head to mine and his pupils dilate as his gaze drops down to my lips.

"Is it okay if I do?" He whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ears.

I don't say anything because I'm scared. I'm terrified his feelings for me will change when he finds out everything. He'll come to despise and hate me and wish he'd never met someone like me.

If only I wasn't abused sexually against my will. I could've been with him. But now I wasn't a pure soul anymore! I was broken into pieces, and it was impossible to put those pieces back together. I don't deserve to be loved and to love anyone. It was a sad reality I had to deal with it.

"Oh my God, Reina. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He backs away from me, giving me back my personal space.

I touch my face, realizing I had been crying. "No. I want to." I say, or rather my heart says winning the battle against my mind.

He looks at me, worried and unsure.

"It's okay. There's plenty of time. We can take it slo-"

I plant my lips on his before he finishes his sentence. He's still for a moment, perhaps shocked, but he responds by moving his lips against mine. His grip around my waist tightens, everything seems to be alright until he pulls away.

"He did this to you, huh?" He yells angrily slamming his fist against the table.

I feel my face and realize what he's talking about "I-"

He wraps me in a hug, preventing me from speaking further "We'll take it slow, huh? Those bastards will have to pay for forcing themselves on you without you're your consent."

I pull away. "How did you know?"

"Tears kept streaming down your face while we were kissing. And that only happens when you're not going to see someone again or if you'd had an unpleasant memory." He explains.

"Look that was the best and first kiss of my life. I don't regret it because I like you. But I'm willing to wait and make everything alright again. We'll go at your own pace, okay?" He rambles on in the heat of the moment.

And I stare at him in awe. The more I get to know him and the more time we spend with another, I realize I want to love and be loved by him.

But was it too early for this? Were we just in the heat of the moment?

"Stop it. Stop overthinking. I mean everything I just said." He says firmly, his eyes confirming what he had just said.

"You make me want to kiss you." I blurt out without thinking. I place my hand over my mouth to stop myself from saying any other thing.

He chuckles "I'm glad you feel the same way. But slow, remember? I'm ready when you are."

My cheeks go red, and I can't stop myself from smiling. "Where did you learn all these things you say."

He grins, "I'm a romanticist. I can't help it."

I frown. "Does this mean you do this with other girls too?"

"When you smile like that around me, is the only way you get to see this side of me."

I playfully hit him on his chest, smiling and blushing furiously. "Stop."

"Okay. Enough you two. I think I died; we still have to eat remember?" Jade pokes her head back into the classroom.

My face flushes red and I use my hair to hide my face, while Justin awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

***

"I'm getting Mac and cheese." Jade announces as soon as we get to the cafeteria.

"Let's all get the same thing." Chris says, agreeing with her.

Justin and I simply nod following whatever decision they made. We haven't said a word after realizing Jade and Chris saw everything. I feel embarrassed. I can tell Justin felt that too, given how red his ears are.

We all line up and get our tray of food. Then we take a seat on the left side of the cafeteria.

We eat in deafening silence as there is much to be said but no one dares speak up.

"You need to control your temper, Jade." Chris says to Jade who is sitting beside him.

She stares at him with a look of disbelief written all over her face "No. That girl, Stella and her boy toy need to learn some manners first." She states firmly, dropping her spoon. "And by the way, you should be telling that to him over there." She nods at Justin.

For a split-second, Justin's jaws clenche and he stops eating.

Chris glares at her "Watch yo-"

"Hey, are you guys free on Saturday?" I ask out of the blue, attempting to lighten the mood." Let's meet at the bus stop by 12 noon on Saturday."

Justin seems to remember, "Oh yeah." He turns to Chris, "You're coming, right?"

Chris exhales, "I would give anything to be away from home. I'm in." He says rather excitedly.

"Then I'm coming too, if Reina is." Jade shrugs her shoulders, picking up her spoon and eating again.

I smile at her, until I see a shadow that makes bile rise to my throat.

"Oh man. Haven't you been humiliated enough already? Just go." Chris stands up from his position, coming face to face with Miles.

Chris is light-skinned and tall enough to be mistaken for a basketball player. He looks like he is from two different ancestors because of his black curly hair and dark brown eyes.

Miles lets out a toothy grin, which shone with pure evil. He turns to me, "So you've got bodyguards now, huh? I'll make you pay."

I dig my nails into my hand, "No. I'll make you pay." I manage to say, looking him in the eye.

He is stunned and I am also surprised by my actions. It is the first time I talked back to him instead of cowering in fear.

Someone holds my hand tightly, glancing at who it was I smile at him.

"I'm with you. I'll always hold your hand when you need it." Justin reassures me.

***

"H-hello." I manage to say on the phone, my voice breaking.

"Oh my God. Reina. Where are you?" Mom cries out.

"I-I d-don't k-know." I'm shivering, almost falling to the floor.

"Okay, sweetheart. Just look around and tell me what you see." Mom's voice breaks, she tries her best not to burst into tears.

"P-phone B-booth. C-clara's d-dairy f-farm." I manage to say before the line goes dead and I fall to the floor completely exhausted.

The only thing I can pray for is being alive until they figure out where I am and fetch me.