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Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Tác giả: Shade_Arjuun
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Bro! You wouldn’t believe this! Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday. Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang. Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?! I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right? RIGHT?! I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be! From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?! A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something! Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle. Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS! GAAAAH! Jeez this is happening too fast! However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while! A new path of power! I can NOT be an undead! I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead! Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them! I’m no longer on the path for Undeath! Only Lifelessness awaits me! I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale! I am... SKULLIUS! And I’m not an UNDEAD! ...... [Author’s Answers To Popular Readers’ Questions] Q: (IHateArjuun77) -Hey author, is your book trash?- A: (Author) -Haha, screw you dear reader. The answer is NO. The story has elements of comedy, action, magic, adventure and Brutality. Like it gets really dark sometimes. There’s a comprehensive story with characters that I tried my damndest to NOT make generic on top of a cool power system that’s for the most part easy to understand. So its not trash. Q: (IFreakingHateArjuun56) -Hey author why is your first volume so slow paced and... trash?- A: (Author) -Haha. It’s how I designed the First Volume to be. It’s a fun setup that doesn’t focus on many things other than the MC’s mentality, powers and route of progression. The next volumes are normal paced, focusing on the world, the villains and general expansion but all while still retaining the book theme and fun experience- Q: (ShadeIsAPervert001) -Hey author, I instinctively sense that I’ll hate this book, when should I drop? A: (Author) -Is this the same reader?! Anyway, I’ll give a range. Read a minimum of the first 20 chapters to a max of up to chapter 44 before you decide on anything too rash. I’ll hunt down this reader! --- Discord: [ https://discord.gg/8hcraTjzE9 ]

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9 thẻ
Chapter 1Dead Forever

(A/N: Only the first four chapters are in first person. The rest are in third.)

My sockets flickered with an intense light as I welcomed another day in undeath. I rose from the position which I had laid in and stood.

My spot was a hollow place on the wall where I and the rest of my dead folk would go into 'slumber'.

Above my own hollow was another one also etched into the wall where another of my brethren was still in slumber.

Our tomb was small, with a large rock covering the circular entrance.

My fellow brother in death shook, causing his bony body to rattle and the fire in his sockets to burn a bright red.

He woke up and jumped down from the hollow landing on the ground.

"Dead morning, Skullius," he said to me.

"Dead morning to you too, Bonet," I said as I began stretching my off-white skeletal body.

Downward dog.

Tree pose.

Chair pose.

Boat pose.

Triangle pose.

"Bro, what are you doing?" Bonet asked with the flame in his eyes dancing in confusion.

I suddenly jerked and stopped. I stood up and faced him.

"I... I don't know... It felt vaguely familiar," I replied.

"Enough games, let's go out before we miss morning roll call."

Bonet walked up to the large rock that covered the tomb.

"Don't just stand there, get over here and help me!" he said.

I quit staring at my bony hands in confusion and went to help him push away the large rock of the tomb.

Bloody hell it's heavy!

I do this every day and it never gets easier.

We finally managed to push it away, revealing a large open space which had a large number of entrances to bunk tombs just like our own.

We walked out of our bunk tomb and saw a large crowd of skeletons gathered in the midst of the vast cave, chatting away with their different coloured flames flickering.

Bonet was half a head taller than me with bones that had a light grey colour. A small light the size of a marble could be seen within his chest (ribcage) emitting a poor white light.

"Man I'm drooling over those bones, Bonet," I said to him while running my bony finger along his arm.

Bonet turned to me and the flame in his socket flickered fiercely.

"Heh, heh. Now you envy the brilliance of my tough bones! They are almost stronger than any steel now. I told you to quit your flimsy mana practice and just focus on the skill most important to all undead, Skullius. [Boneman of Steel] is the best!" he said proudly.

"Maybe," I said.

We continued walking until we reached the crowd of thousands of other undead.

A burly skeleton who was over two meters in height jogged over to us, the flame in his sockets dancing with a yellow glow.

"Eeey, Bonet, Skullius! Took you long enough to wake up. Is the Lich having a hard time waking you up from slumber each morning now?" the burly Skeleton said.

"I think so, Fractures. Between Skullius and his large mana core and my dense bones.." Bonet paused while flexing his bone lustre. "..I'd say his mana is getting wrecked. Kek."

I looked to the side in shame.

Within me was a core the size of a tennis ball, emitting a faint white light.

Tktktktktktktktkt!

That....was the sound of Fractures, the burly skeleton.....laughing.

As we conversed, a large Death Knight with a valiant grey armour that had begun to rust walked up to the front of the crowd. He exuded a dense pressure that only an undead of his rank possessed.

He towered over us at a height over two and a half meters.

His eye sockets blazed with an almost blinding green flame that cast a similarly coloured hue on his face (skull).

"ATTENTION!" he yelled, emitting an eerie force that forced us all to stand at attention.

He scanned us all and when he saw that we were all accounted for, he lay his armoured hand on his chest plate.

We all did the same, our bony fingers on our chests as we then chanted the daily motivation mantra.

"FOREVER DEAD, DEAD FOREVER! F*CK LIFE! A NASTY ENDEAVOUR!"

Yes.

Daily motivation mantra, courtesy of Lich Somanda.

The fun to say 'f' word in the mantra was an addition by the Lich himself. No idea what it means but it doesn't bring the mantra to life.

The massive doors at the end of the cave we resided in opened on their own to signal the start of another day of monotonous toil.

We walked out the doors, greeted by the crimson sun in the sky that dyed our surroundings red, outlining the horizon full of dark hills, mountains and different kinds of prowling undead creatures.

Silhouette of large towers could be seen beyond with a grand mansion that rose to an absurd height being unmistakably visible to all in this land even further away.

This was our world.

Deadmanland.

At least that's what we called it.

A name stemming from the fact that we are all dead and all men. Probably.

A world where only the dead lived. We lived in the comfort of undeath, blanketed by its eerie and unforgiving dead webbed wing.

I know. Really sold the idea of Death there.

We were all created by a powerful undead Lich, named Somanda. Our job every day was to mine for a mana filled resource called mana gems for him. At least that was true for us lower-level undead. We usually heard the higher level undead boasting about how they vanquished enemies in different worlds under the banner of the Lich.

That .... couldn't be true right? Other worlds?

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. A thousand years...at least. Doing the same thing over... and over....and over again.

Every day we mine the gemstones throughout the day and then Somanda cuts off the supply of mana for our undeath and we slumber, only to be woken up when it's time for work again.

We walked in a single file for miles, seeing the black soil and dark coloured crooked protrusions that rise from the grounds.

The undead animals spend the day, prowling or fighting with each other. Most of them are just a lazy aesthetic anyway.

We reached a spot with tons of unearthed dirt spanning over thousands of miles and walked into the massive pits that leads into the underground pathways in specialised groups led by an Undead Captain.

Undead captains are undead one rank below Death Knights. They exude a stronger presence than us, donning less attractive armour.

Inside, with the pitch-black walls and darkness, our 'eyes' which had an aggressively positive affinity to the nothingness saw all very clearly.

We advanced until we could see where we left off, the glowing red and blue rocks that were fitted into the walls being an indicator of the day's work yet to be done.

Having brought our equipment; pickaxes, made of special redwood and the crude metal curved head, we started digging the rocks out, the Captains monitoring us.

I hit the wall with my pickaxe, barely feeling a sensation except for the hard wall that barely shifted as I stroke it. I hit it again and again, little crumbs of rock following thereafter.

Tktktktktktktktkt!

I turned to find Bonet laughing at me.

He raised his pickaxe and struck down with an unbelievable force that causes the wall to tremble, massive chunks of rock and soil flying and falling along with red and blue glowing gems.

He looked at me with his socket flames burning brightly with pride.

"Son of a femur," I scoffed.

The other undead were in awe and started working hard.

It's possible to acquire skills by repeating certain actions in the world.

It's every undead's dream to unlock the skill, Boneman of Steel. It causes your bones to get tougher and dense, adding to your strength. For us workers, it's the ideal skill.

The Undead Captains told us the skill's name, encouraging us to cultivate it.

However, I've always been more interested in mana. It is very thin over here though, the majority of energy being undeath energy.

The mana coalesced over the years seeps into the ground and creates the mana gems we mine, but it takes a pretty darn long time.

They have always been my fascination for a long time.

The undead beside me was hysterically swinging the axe like a madman, expressing strength that is at least double mine by knocking off chunks of the hard rock and soil off.

"I'm almost there, I'll have that smooth lustre and density too? You hear that, bro?!" he turned to me, his flame sockets burning incessantly.

"Y...yea... sure, man," I said to him.

He kept dishing the attacks on the innocent walls and started yelling at me.

"Bro, get your ass working!"

I reflexively blurted out, retorting.

"Bro, I don't have an ass!"

Wait! I stopped

"What's an ass?" I ask him.

For a moment he jerked and stopped digging. He faced me, and his socket flames quit blazing fiercely.

"I...I don't know... it's just vaguely familiar," he said.

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JailGooLv15

One of my favourite reads on WN though I feel like the name of the novel needs to be abbreviated or something (although the name was also the only reason I picked this book up in the first place hahaha). The story is really interesting and I think that the author really shows that he has thought and planned out the plot and direction of the story far in advance. For me, the first part of the story started off pretty slow and I only really got hooked later on as I continued reading. Although this was one of the first web novels that I read, after reading quite a few more, it still stands out as being one that has a strong plot and good world building where the authors forethought really shows. Although I was originally quite concerned that because of Skullius’ circumstances, the story would be unable to allow for any development of side characters I am very glad about the introduction of YuYui and later occurrences in the story that change this otherwise I think this element would have very significantly hindered the quality of the story (at the same time, it takes quite a while before this actually occurs and although the apostles are interesting I didn’t feel like they would be enough to replace the benefit of fleshing out all other side characters). I really enjoy the story and I am very intrigued in the direction it will head towards. I can tell that the author has been introducing pieces to the board all to start connecting them all together. Now to discuss areas of improvement that I think would really help the novel. I think there are 3 core areas of improvement for the story: the grammar, the consistency of the humour and the power creep. While two of them are quite minor, I am personally finding one of them becoming more and more of an issue. Regarding the grammar, although the writing quality such as the vocabulary, sentence and paragraph structure or the writing is good, the proofreading is what I found to be lacking for a lot of the first few hundred chapters and still occasionally on the more recent ones. I would really recommend the author just run the finished chapters through some spell checker like Grammarly to correct any accidental mistakes. When I was reading through many of the earlier chapters I found grammatical issues or sentence structure issues that were very minor but served to blemish the quality of the writing. With how nicely written your chapters are, taking that extra step to add that final bit of polish to your writing would really step it to the next level with minimal effort. I can still recall a time where a typo really put me out of the moment when describing the destruction of a city (which shall not be named to avoid spoilers) and reading something along the lines of “three thirds” of it being destroyed. Although it was pretty apparent as to what you meant, small things like that or just typos or repeated sentences reduce the writing quality when the quality is already really good and only diminished by these small but easy to correct mistakes. Next, although not too big of an issue, I personally felt like the degree of humour isn’t really consistently felt in the writing. While the comedic element of the story was never an integral part of the experience for me, I just wanted to point out that the funnier moments don’t feel that consistently spaced out. Although, I understand that this is partially due to their being a heavier focus on the plot. For example, the novel starts with quite a bit of focus on the comedic aspect but we see it drop off quite a bit maybe 100 chapters in, another example would be YuYui where things are more comedic whenever she is involved but suddenly quite lacking when she is gone. Once again, I don’t think this is too big of an issue but I just wanted point that out. I get that a lot of the times it would be pretty hard to make certain scenarios where the plot is developing comedic and honestly, after so many chapters have already been written, a shift towards that would no longer be in the spirit of the story I think. Personally, if you have the time, I would totally recommend giving “A Will Eternal” a read. This was the first webnovel I ever read and it’s a translated Chinese web novel with cultivation themes and although it has its own share of problems (especially during the obvious big changing moment in the story) it is honestly the funniest book I’ve read and is great example of a book that manages to maintain its humour throughout the entire story even in situations you wouldn’t think would be funny or despite being a scenario critical for plot development. I think it would be a really good reference if you were to ever write a new series that was more focused on the comedic element of the story. Finally, on the most critical area of the story that I think could see the most improvement on, the power creep. Although I would say that for the first few hundred chapters this was not a big issue and I was able to easily follow along, I feel that ever since the recent chapters (after Skullius went through a ’perspective’ changing moment hahaha), I have begun having a lot more difficulty following exactly how strong Skullius and other characters are. While I know that a lot of WN series like to use UI systems that provide numerical values to stats and clearly illustrate abilities, it sort of becomes a big problem as characters actuslly start becoming powerful. More recently, I feel like both the attribute statistics as well as the number of abilities themselves have sort of skyrocketed and become pretty hard to follow. I almost feel as if I need to start screenshotting or taking down notes of the most up to date character stats because I literally cannot recall these numbers or find them again to be able to actually compare how one characters fares to another. At this point, it feels like the stats are actually making it harder for me to understand how strong characters actually are. Posting periodic chapters that are clearly named and easy to reference that just dump up to date stats is probably the only thing I can think of that would immediately help reduce this problem. Otherwise, implementing a core strength value would be pretty helpful such as a single stat that generalises someone’s power outside of their rank could also be really helpful. An example of this would be “Vile Evil Hides Under the Veil” totally different type of story that honestly has a really bad start but uses that stat summary method by implementing something called BP (battle power or something?) that generalises their strength based off their other values making it way easier to compare stats without having to deal with all those numbers. Furthermore, aside from this whole stat issue, I feel like the frequency in which Skullius is jumping in power seems to be rising. This also makes it quite a bit harder to follow because it feels like I have to re-remember everything he can do again. I think it would be a lot easier to follow if Skullius’ improvements were more gradually introduced and also at a slower frequency, introducing more and more new powers (while interesting and opening more avenues for combat) also makes things a lot harder to follow as even merging abilities together means I have to remember he has a new ability. I think introducing a smaller number but very flexible abilities might be the solution since you don’t have to keep updating them while still allowing characters to use them for many purposes and simplifying the whole thing. I.e something like “Shadow Slave” where Sunny also gets these sudden introductions of new abilities but at the same time it occurs rarely and doesn’t feel too overwhelming as he doesn’t have that many in total. Overall, Bro I’m Not and Undead is a really good book with a well fleshed out world and plot as well as good writing that I’m glad I managed to stumble upon and I look forward to continue following as it develops. However, I think a critical issue that has begun to emerge and needs to be solved is the power creep that is beginning to really make the story harder to follow. I think the story is beginning to build up to something really big and complex plot wise so simplifying the whole subject regarding the abilities and powers of the characters would be seriously beneficial in preventing any overload of info. Keep up the good work! 👍

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