Episode 33

The BrideGloom

Episode 33

NELLY: Judy,is everything okay? Still mourning your friend?

JUDITH: I'm okay.

Nelly: sure?

JUDITH: I'm just so confused, Nelly! My friend has asked me to do something incredibly difficult!

NELLY: and what is that?

JUDITH: She's asked me to marry her husband and this is a man who never makes common eye contact with me. Hasn't even stepped a foot into my house. The other time, I asked him to come have coffee he blatantly refused!

He has never picked up the phone to call me and when I do, he sounds as if he cannot wait to get rid of me from the line.

Worst of it all is that I recently started talking to this absolutely amazing man!

NELLY: well, how could you tell he is absolutely amazing if you just recently started talking to him. It is called beginner's high!

JUDITH: hahaha! You always have a name for everything. Well, so far, he's been great and a perfect gentleman. Never been married before, no baby mama, God fearing, tall and handsome, has a decent job. Just your perfect gentleman!

NELLY: They are all perfect at the start of the relationship. Then after a while, they bring out their true colours. Anyways, if your late friend told you that, I see it as an honour. She trusts you to uphold her home in her absence. Don't betray her trust.

You can start by constantly calling the husband and you know, encouraging him. Go over to Abuja and spend the weekend with them.

JUDITH: I'll be going tomorrow because my friend's funeral is on Monday. After the funeral, I'll spend a week before I come back

NELLY: great! And you can also use what your mama gave you to get him to be loyal. You know what I mean. There is power in the vagina to break every man!?

JUDITH: no way!! Heck no! That is so low. The lowest of the low! I will never do a thing like that. Common!

NELLY: well, just giving you different options nothing more. So don't consume me like fire. Anyway, if you need any tips, I'm just a phone call away! Stop talking to Mr amazing and focus on this very man. Remember, the dead watch over us from heaven. Your friend is looking at you as we speak

Judith: oh gosh! You are really scaring me now!

NELLY: when are you going home?

Judith: I am waiting for my Uber.

NELLY: alright. I'm going now. Take care of yourself

(Whilst Judy waited for her cab to arrive, she decided to give Ambrose a quick call)

MR AMBROSE:??? hello, Judy, how are you?

JUDITH: Very well, thanks. Yourself?

MR AMBROSE: still alive

JUDITH: how are the children?

MR AMBROSE : well, I've brought back Shasha and Tatiana but I left Sampson with my mum. I don't think Kate can look after all three.

JUDITH: that's okay. Has Tatiana gone back to school?

MR AMBROSE: that's actually what she was telling me before you called. She said she hates her new teacher and doesn't want to go to school anymore. I asked if she would like me to register her in another school. She said she doesn't want to leave her friends in her school.

I don't know how I am expected to move all her hundreds of friends to her new school. The kind of dilemmas I do not like to get into! I used to leave it all to Chioma. Now, reality just dawned on me!!

JUDITH: oh bless her! Did she say exactly why she doesn't like Her?

MR AMBROSE: from what I reckon, she is probably being too nice to her. Maybe trying to win their love and trust and overdoing it. Tatiana is very smart, she knows when you are trying to patronise her and she doesn't like it.

She told me that the new lady keeps asking her how is your daddy, how is your mummy, do you want me to feed you your lunch, what car does your daddy drive. I mean I understand she is trying to be nice, but you don't need to overdo it. Kids don't like that. Judy, honestly, I am fed up!

JUDITH: hmmm! She'll warm up to her. Kids are usually like that with strangers. Were you able to get the jazz music person?

MR AMBROSE: yes. Everything is ready except me. I am not ready to let Chioma go. Not ready to see her in a coffin, not ready to see her lowered in the grave. I am not ready!

JUDITH: you may never be ready. Just take each day as it comes. I just wanted to ask if it's okay to come tomorrow?

MR AMBROSE: sure! Please do. I am going to pick up my mother in law this morning and my parents will be here tomorrow's evening.

JUDITH: okay. See you tomorrow then

MR AMBROSE: please let me know your arrival time so I could ask my driver to pick you up from the airport

JUDITH: alright. I'll let you know. Thank You, sir.

**********************************************

XANDRA: oh my God!!!! Look at you, Deric! You look like a Londoner already!!

DERIC: hahahaha! This is a very beautiful country just too cold! (Hugs her really tight and swung her around)

XANDRA: hahaha drop me! You make me feel like an airbag! Wow! London looks great on you! Where is mama!

DERIC: She's inside the ward. I bet she cannot wait to see you! Keeps asking of you. When did you arrive?

XANDRA: 6.am this morning. A very smooth flight too! I have missed you!

DERIC: did you?

XANDRA: not really?

DERIC: (holds her back and comes right to her face) Now, swallow your pride, throw away your certificate and accept the truth, you missed Deric. Didn't you?

XANDRA: hahahaha! Please go away! What's there to miss about you? The nasty and rude attitudes? I did not miss Jack! Please take me to mama. My very good friend!.

(Deric held her hand as they walked to madam Nkechi's hospital ward)

XANDRA: Wow! Mama!!

MADAM NKECHI: my darling!!!

XANDRA: (Hugs her) oh I am so happy to see you looking restored! What a difference!!

MADAM NKECHI: my daughter! These doctors are marvellous! The only person they cannot save is someone who has been earmarked to die!

They are spirits! They can explain your symptom to you like they are right inside your body! My daughter, I am so grateful to you and I have been praying for you daily. I can fight and defeat 10 men now

DERIC: ten male mannequins, you mean?

XANDRA: hahahaha! I'm so glad to hear that! How do you like the food?

MADAM NKECHI: my dear, that is one thing I don't like. They serve us flower here o! Different colours of flower. Chai! Nothing beats a well cooked okazi soup!

XANDRA: hahahaha!!! Flower indeed! Those are vegetables mama, and they are actually good for you.??…

(Xandra spent about an hour at the hospital chatting with Deric and his mum. Then went out with Deric for lunch. They both went to a nearby Nandos and as they ate their perperi chicken and fries, Xandra decided to have some serious conversation with him????????????)

XANDRA: how do you like it here?

DERIC: i sincerely don't even want to go back anymore

XANDRA: That is possible..

DERIC: how?

NELLY: my sister's husband owns a company here. I can get him to employ you and you apply for a stay. With his help, you are likely to be granted a visa.

DERIC: This sounds good!

XANDRA: what about your wife? Won't you miss her?

DERIC: I will of course but it's for our benefit.

XANDRA: true. Can I ask you a question?

DERIC: go ahead.

Xandra: if your friend is going out with someone who has HIV, and you know it, would you let your friend know and lose your job or would you not tell him and keep your job?

DERIC: are you actually asking this question??? Why do we place material things above human life! Damn the stupid job! I'll tell my friend the very minute I find out! What are friend for!

XANDRA: hmmm! A colleague of mine is currently in that situation and has asked for my opinion

DERIC: tell him to call his friend now and save a life…

Late Chioma's family has just returned from her funera, including her very saddened friend, Judith.

Mr Ambrose had locked himself up in his bedroom and has asked to be left alone.

Chioma's mum had slept off on the sofa, because unknown to her, she was given sleeping tablets because she was crying uncontrollably even before the funeral service began.

Judith, Kate, Mr Ambrose's parents and the kids were seated in the living room.

Red and swollen eyes beautified all their faces. Constant sniffing was the only sound that could be heard in the room.

All of a sudden, the deafening silence was broken by Tatiana's poem. She just started reciting the poem she had earlier on recited at her mum's funeral service.

TATIANA: fill not your heart with pain and

Sorrow

But remember me in every tomorrow

Remember the joy, the laughter,

The smiles, I've only gone to rest a

while

Although my leaving causes pain and

Grief

My going has eased my hurt and given

Me relief

So dry your eyes and remember me

Not as I am now, but as I used to be

I will remember you all and look on

With a smile

Understand in your hearts

I've only gone to rest a while

As long as I have the love of each of

you

I can live my life in the hearts of

all ofyou

JUDITH: Tatiana, you shouldn't be reciting that poem Okay? Recite one of the ones you are taught in school

TATIANA: but I like this one (carries on reciting it)

(Mr Ambrose's mum knows about the letters left by Chioma and is determined to help ensure that her death wish is fulfilled. So she thought it was a good avenue to get Ambrose and Judith talking)

GRANDMA: Judith, we may not be able to get her to stop reciting that poem, please go upstairs and tell her dad. He is the only one who can do it

JUDITH: but ma'am, he asked not to be disturbed

GRANDMA: not when his children are involved. Please go get him.

(Judith got upstairs and met mr Ambrose on the floor of his bedroom with Chioma's framed picture crying his heart out…)

JUDITH: excuse me, sir

MR AMBROSE: I left a clear and simple instruction!!!??

JUDITH: I know but…

MR AMBROSE: please shut the door and leave me alone!

JUDITH: Tatiana is…

MR AMBROSE: (quickly gets up!) Is she Okay?

JUDITH: yes but she wouldn't stop reciting the funeral poem

MR AMBROSE: My goodness! Okay, I'll come down and see her. Thanks for letting me know

JUDITH: no problem (goes downstairs)

(Mr Ambrose quickly wiped his tears and hurried downstairs)

MR AMBROSE: mummy, you must stop reciting that poem. It is specially for your mum in heaven. You only recite it when someone goes to heaven Okay?

TATIANA: but mummy went to heaven today so I can recite it today

MR AMBROSE: not anymore. You recited it for her before those men took her to heaven and that's enough

TATIANA: Okay, daddy but when is she coming back to see us?

MR AMBROSE: phewww!

GRANDMA: enough, Ambrose! No answering anymore questions. You don't answer everything they ask. She will not stop asking questions

MR AMBROSE: but mum, I owe her answers

TATIANA: but why did they put so much sand on top of her?

MR AMBROSE: Jesus will remove all the sands and give her clean clothes and she will be clean and happy, Okay?

TATIANA: will Jesus give her a shower and food and chocolates?

MR AMBROSE: Jesus will give her everything she needs

GRANDMA: (loudly) oh Chioma!!! Chioma why!!!!????

MADAM NKECHI: (wakes up and starts crying loudly too. Kate joined, then Mr Ambrose joined. Shasha joined, Tatiana joined, Judith lost it and the entire place was filled with sounds and songs of sorrow and mourning

************************************************

NINA: Charlotte, are you sure you want to go to Ghana with this man? I'm asking because I heard he is a ritualist o! Hmmmm!

CHARLOTTE: it's all rumours, babe. I spent the weekend in his house. Such a humble man. With all his money he still knows how to treat a woman. He ran my bath, cooked me the best noodle soup I've heard in my life, massaged my feet until they felt like those of a baby. No girl! I'm hooked!

I don't even remember Deric

NINA: what about his wife?

CHARLOTTE: she is late

NINA: any children?

CHARLOTTE: No. He said his wife passed away one month after they got married

NINA: sad. But if you love him that much, why did you infect him?

CHARLOTTE: He has the money so he can look after himself. Abeg don't start! No be person give am to me!

By the way, did I tell you! Jaykob claims to be born again now. I went into his office after everyone had left yesterday and sat on his laps. Dude pushed me away saying he is now born again???

NINA: no wonder! I heard him inviting Amanda to their renewal of marriage vows.

CHARLOTTE: that had better be true?

NINA: God don save am. Anyway, how's Deric and his mum? And when is he coming back? I really want him to get this virus because he pushed you into cheating.

If he was working as hard as other men out there, fulfilling his conjugal obligations, I don't think you would have had anything to do with Mr Adrian

CHARLOTTE: He called me about two days ago asking what I think about him trying to get a job over there and then coming to bring me over as soon as he settles.

NINA: and what did you say?? don't tell me you agreed

CHARLOTTE: I told him I will think about it. I was rushing anyway. I wanted him to get off the phone because I was at my old guy's house ?

NINA: perfect! I'm glad you didn't agree yet. Call him, tell him you miss him a lot and that you have been very lonely and Ill without him around. Tell him to come back and see you one more time before he starts any move towards residing there.

As soon as he comes back, baptise him and let him go back to London!

CHARLOTTE: girl, you bad!??I'll call him today

NINA: no! Call him now! Once you go out with your man you'll forget

CHARLOTTE: I don't have enough airtime.

NINA: use my phone! Tell him you are so Ill so I came to see you and cook for you. Thunder fire am fire London!

************************************************

XANDRA: Why do you look all gloomy!

DERIC: good morning, Xandra.

XANDRA: I've got good news for you!!!

DERIC: what good news??

XANDRA: my brother in law has agreed to assist you get a permit. He also promised to get mama a permit on the basis that you are her sole carer!

DERIC: I sincerely appreciate that and your efforts as well, but I'm going to be turning that down. I need to be home latest Friday. And that is the day by which I must be in Nigeria

XANDRA: what happened, Deric?

DERIC: my wife is seriously ill and she has no one with her except her best friend.

XANDRA: did she stop taking her pills?

DERIC: what pills? My wife is not on any pills

XANDRA: oh no! Sorry, I was mistaking her for someone else?

What if we send her money so she could go to the hospital? Must you go??

DERIC: I must go, Xandra. See, because you haven't been married before and I don't mean to be rude , you probably do not understand the importance of emotional and physical support between couples. I need to go home and be with her!

XANDRA: ?oh! Okay. I need to take my leave now. Bye mama. ?‍?‍?‍?‍?‍

MADAM NNENA: Deric! The way you spoke to her was very rude! Must you remind her that she needs to be married!

DERIC: she doesn't need a reminder. She knows age is no longer on her side. I need to go see my wife.

MADAM NNENA: so rude!

DERIC: mama, stay out of this, please!