Do Birthday Wishes Come True?

*THREE YEARS LATER*

There are stages someone goes through when someone they love dies; Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Over the past three years, I think I have gone through the five stages over and over. Now I am redoing it all over again, and I am at stage one: denial.

I don't think Brandon is dead though, I am sure of that in my heart because I don't want to think of him being dead, I have enough guilt and regrets.

Three years ago, after the cops, detectives, and the private investigators came up with nothing. I also had come up with nothing. But I didn't tire, I went through his laptop, computer everything. I even read his journals and diaries which was a violation of privacy.

But I had to, I was spending all my time trying to get an answer, just anything even a small clue.

But who is saying the cops and the investigators didn't know what they were doing?

I remember even my parents asking me to stop because I was becoming obsessed with searching for Brandon.

The day my brother went missing we were to celebrate his birthday the next day, and my birthday was to be two days after that. We share the same birthday month; however, I didn't get to celebrate that year nor the following years up to today.

Who would?

But today I had to or else my parents will take me to a psych ward.

"Earth to Brenda," my brother's girlfriend Belinda who became close to me since my brother went missing said shouting, her throat strained. No matter how much I tell her there is no need to shout at me, she wouldn't get it into her head.

If only my brother was here he would have explained to her and by now I am sure she would have understood, any thought of my brother makes me want to cry and I felt tears coming but they didn't fall because nowadays I am strong than I used to be three years ago.

"If only Brandon was here, he would be what? Twenty-six?" My friend Belinda asked.

"Yes Belinda," I answered Belinda. At the time my brother went missing I was twenty and now I am twenty-three.

"Are you okay Bree?" Belinda asked me.

"Yes, I am Bel," I assured her, Belinda is always asking me that, and I have to give her the same answer.

Outside I am very strong, but inside I am breaking over and over. My mother had asked me to let her be my therapist but I wouldn't and she had recommended me to one of her friends, I had gone for a few months and nothing worked.

The therapy was not working so I had to lie to the therapist and my mother that everything was working and I had to stop. Because it was like all I did was go to therapy and go through the same thing over and over.

Well, not that I am saying therapy doesn't work.

No!

It does for others.

I attend my friends' birthdays and even though I wanted to avoid this I had to; it is my birthday after all.

Belinda gushed over me while she applied my make-up, I wish I could tell her to go away so I could also go and continue with my spy activities which after two years I had become better at it.

Or am I lying to myself?

I looked at Belinda in the mirror and wonder if she is going through the turmoil I am in from the absence of Brandon, I wasn't sure as she had reassured me that she was getting better because I was her friend.

I saw the bulb flicker on off and I knew it was someone asking whether they should enter, well since I am Deaf I can't hear the knock. The bulb always works as a way of someone asking permission to enter my room.

For the Deaf, if I want to get attention from you, I would tap you lightly on the shoulder, if we are maybe many in a room and someone wants our attention the person would put on and off on the switch, and of course, that will get our attention and we will look up to see who it was and what the person wants.

I think it's normal to look at the bulb if it goes off and on, to anyone it would catch their attention. I didn't get to stand and open the door since Belinda was with me, she told the person outside to come in.

"We are done. You look beautiful, as always." Belinda signed; she was getting better now unlike the time she started dating my brother. She had been learning and I love that about her, the first time she had met me she was shocked but later on learned sign language to make our communication easier.

My mom came in looking as beautiful as always, she hugged me and squeeze me tight.

"Mom you are squeezing the life out of me," I told her.

My mother took my hands into hers and tell me, "You are growing so fast my baby, it's just yesterday you were little and squealing with Brandon." With the name of Brandon, my mother looked at the corner of the house and I can see how I am not the one still thinking about him.

"Mom thanks, don't cry please you look beautiful too," I told her squeezing my hand.

"Ok, I am not going to cry. We are the Keys, we are strong. And today is your day, no shedding tears only happy tears." My mother said.

I nodded at my mother wishing what she was saying was true. My mother had been telling herself that over and over and I think finally it's working; she is believing it.

"Belinda thank you darling for preparing this munchkin," my mother said while pinching my cheeks.

"Mrs. Keys welcome, please stop doing that. Her make-up." Belinda answered my mother, I looked at her smiling, silently telling her to thank you for saving me. My mother still loved to pinch me on my cheeks as if I am still her adorable baby.

"Oops! Sorry." My mother said and we stood up ready to go to the party.

As soon as my father and some of my friends saw me coming down from the stairs with my mother, they started singing happy birthday to me while signing, it made me smile some were singing and signing opposite things but I was happy they had put an effort to learn sign language.

"Hello everyone, thanks for coming," I told them, and then someone touched my hand, turning I found it was my dad.

"Oh, sorry. I want to thank my dad and my mom for this beautiful day, and Belinda too. Thank you." I told them and began looking for Belinda who was nowhere to be seen. My parents hugged me and left to talk to the friends they had invited.

I was left by my parents all alone, Belinda nowhere to be found. I leaned on the seat next to me while I watched some of Brandon's friends talking and laughing.

"Hello Brenda," a guy signed at me, he even signed my name wrongly and signed Brandon's name. He place the letter 'B' on the left side of his left arm instead of his breast and I felt my heart pace quicken.

Yes, my sign name is simple and almost the same as Brandon's. Mine is 'B' on my left breast then Brandon is 'B' on the upper left arm, I was even surprised how he knew it as most of the people who know me normally just call me by my name

I didn't know what to do about the mistake the guy had done, I didn't want to tell him no as I was trying my best to make my heart slow down.

I only signed hello back at him, the guy then told me he knew me through Brandon and that my mother had invited him.

I told him my gratitude and we talk a little bit, and then he had to go to where his friends were, some people at the party continued coming and wishing me a happy birthday. Some stayed a little bit and others took their time and all I wanted to shout at them was, "Please stop, go away."

The time for cutting the cake arrived and I almost scream with relief knowing that as soon as I was finished, I was going to get the hell out of there.

"Hello everyone please move closer it's time for cake, or does anyone have anything to say?" my mother asked.

"What?" I asked my mother hoping she was joking; I didn't want to spend any more seconds standing in this room greeting people.

"Hey love, it's okay. I think everyone wrote a card on the gifts." My father said and I looked at him smiling and he smiled back at me.

"Okay. Make a wish then before blowing the candles."

I looked at everyone staring at me, waiting for me to blow the candles and all I wanted to ask them was, "do birthday wishes come true?"

And if the wishes come true then soon I wouldn't be celebrating my birthday in a foul mood.