Cruel World

"Jeff says he misses me, like a lot." My dad signed at me.

"Dad, you are lying," I tell him and pout.

We are in my office, taking a break from the photography sessions. My father decided to call Jeff who used to be his assistant. After my father gave me the company, I maintained the workers.

I had promoted Jeff, so I sent him to help me with the contract signing deal, I am not lazy; I trust the man. He worked with my father from when my dad began the company, so there was no big deal by sending him out to do something like that.

My father was asking him how to work the deal was taking him, and from the looks of things. I think it's taking him well because they have been teasing me for the last ten minutes.

"Dad, you do know the company can't run by itself, right?" I ask my father.

"You don't say, madam C.E.O. It was nice talking to you, Jeff." My father said and ended the call.

"You know when I used to be here, all the employees used to love me, not that I am saying they didn't love you…" my dad signed smiling at me.

I signed back, "Dad, your point?"

He stands and says to me, "You have to take a break."

"Dad, what is it? It's not even midday and you want me to take a break, are you serious?" I ask him and he smiles and took his camera, and starts to take pictures of me.

"Dad, come on. Didn't you get enough?" I ask him.

"No, they are not enough. I have to take them, when I use to take Brandon's pictures, I used to take lots and lots of them." My dad says dejectedly and looks down.

"Brenda, breathe. Inhale, exhale." I tell myself and look at my dad smiling.

"Dad are you okay?" I ask him and take the camera from his hand, which at first it's hard as to how strong he has gripped it, so I ask him to let it go and I take the camera and place it on the table.

"Yes, I am fine."

"Dad, no need to pretend, you can talk to me." I pleaded with him.

"How are you doing this Brenda, you wake up each day and come to work. And you come back in the evening looking well." My father says and I look down.

I wish I can tell him it is going to be okay, that it's one day at a time. I wish I can get a magical wand and wave it over my dad's head so he can be okay.

"Dad, I don't. I still have hope, Brandon will come." I tell him, hoping he can sense my shaky voice and maybe say we can talk later. I said today is going to be normal, and I wanted it to be normal. Not that I hate talking to my father about my brother, but I wanted the day to be good.

To have no one who will remind me about Brandon, just for a day.

"He will?" My dad asks and looks at me with hopeful eyes.

"Yes, dad he will. I can feel him." I say and my inner me rolls its eyes.

Feel him?

Who am I kidding, I feel nothing!

"Okay, then sweety. See you at home?" My dad says and stands to leave.

"Dad you can stay with me here and then we can go take lunch later," I say to him.

"No. Let me leave you to work, let me go and get some inspiration, see you at home?" My dad says and kisses me on my forehead and leaves me in the office standing there, thinking of how normal will never be on my plate.

"Brandon where are you?" I ask out loud and take my seat.

Checking my emails, I go through them and reply to each of them. I do this by myself if they are more important and the others which have the normal questions concerning the company, I leave them to my assistant.

The day goes by well, I had canceled all the meetings so I stay and go over my other important plans while answering every email.

I leave my office and say goodbye to my assistant. Entering the elevator I sigh, being a C.E.O sucks. This is not how I had pictured my life to be. But I have to do this, I have to be tough. After all, it's a cruel world and I won't be getting anything on a silver platter if I don't come to work.

I nod at my doorman and head out to my car where I find my driver waiting for me.

"Hi, Ms. Brenda." She greets me.

"It's your day off, what are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Your father asked me to come and pick you up."

I nod and tell her. "You don't need to open the door for me."

"Okay." She says and closes the door and walks to the driver's seat and starts to drive.

I look at the trees as we drive home while thinking of how I can tell my father I don't him to send drivers to drive me whenever he thinks I am not okay or any day after we have conversed about Brandon.

I am worried about him, I don't want him to be worried about me. It will be bad, and he will ask the driver to drive me anywhere I want to go and for the bodyguards to follow me around.

I don't want that, three years ago. I told them I needed my space and I would take care of myself. And I have done that very well, and if my dad thinks I need any person following me it will destroy my plans, the plans which I have perfected from the past year.

It will be bad.

I have to come up with a good reason and fast.