A cruel balance

The outcome of the battle was rather anti-climatic. All of the tension and the bitter hatred vanished into thin air, as the wolf dropped dead from the injuries it had accumulated. All it took was one instant for this battle to come to a conclusion.

I had high hopes to see something raw and precious but the only thing I found was a disappointment.

It just stopped moving and that was it. I wish there was more to it, but nothing else remained. So the love that can move mountains only amounts to that much, what a letdown.

I guess it has only been romanticized in order to appeal to the masses. The cold hard truth had proven, that in the end, it is nothing more than a myth, a falsehood to comfort the fool.

But who knows, maybe I just did not find the right fool.

In order to verify those feelings, I need to find different samples. Initial failure is certainly regretful but part of the process. They pay-off just seems so little when I gamble with my life.

Then again, I should not complain about the lack of results when it was not my aim, to begin with. The dinner came to me out of its own volition and I should honour its will. Everything else would have been a nice bonus.

Removing my fingers out of its badly wounded eye sockets, I slowly stood up. The battle itself might have been a breeze, but the air surrounding my body was telling a different story.

Being covered in the decaying remains of monsters reduces the surrounding air quality by quite a margin. Which became more than clear, after I was not being distracted by the battle anymore.

This particular smell had lingered in my nostrils for far too long by now, yet it had proven to be an admirable foe in just how revolting it truly was. Disgust was the logical consequence of such a weaponized sensation.

With no water or anything similar in my sight, I was left with no other choice than to try and ignore it to the best of my ability. Fortunately, I did not have to wait long before a suitable distraction appeared in front of my very own eyes.

Although this distraction did not seem too pleased that it met me under such circumstance, it wasn't that difficult to understand where its opposition was coming from. After all, it had just lost its life at my hands.

Also, judging by the gravity of its injuries, it was quite obvious why it wasn't alive anymore. Its entire face was a bloody mess, with each orifice looking worse than the other. It was ravaged to such an extent that it was a face solely in the name.

Gone were the eyes, only an empty void remained in their stead. Countless small injuries were plastered in the empty eye sockets.

Torn apart was the nose, which had lost any resemblance to its previous state. Big chunks of meat were either missing or loosely hanging off it. The general structure had been irreversibly altered.

Tattered were the ears as blood just oozed out of them. Any integrity was utterly lost; it had been reduced to mere pieces.

The fight had taken its toll.

It was just cruel and inhumane, but I was left with no choice other than to inflict such harm. There is no doubt, that it would not have any remorse if our roles were reversed.

But all the damage was slowly reverted as its face turned back to its former glory. It was hard to imagine, that such a majestic appearance could be reduced to such an extent. Despite all of my effort, I could only watch on as everything was undone.

A deep growl left its mouth as it faced me flinching its teeth. With renewed vigour, it ran towards to finally get revenge.

Though as it turns out it was nothing more than an empty threat because an invisible wall stood in its way. This wall proved to be insurmountable for the wolf. but it was certainly not due to the lack of trying.

It had thrown its entire weight against the obstacle in its way numerous times, yet it did not even budge. Normally I should feel elated about the wolf not being able to reach me, but my mind was terrorized by the questions that had suddenly arisen after the wolf appeared in my mind.

This was not something I had foreseen after ending its life, far from it. What was this scale planning? Reviving the dead is certainly not the concept of balance I am familiar with. Something which had been alive should not come to life once again in my mind.

Especially since it still seemed that adamant to fulfil the earthly desires it had during its lifetime. I can not blame it for actually trying to do so, but I could complain about why it was even given the chance to do so.

After a while it had seen how futile the attacks were, that is why the wolf pranced alongside the wall while growling manically at me. Though all of this was all bark and no bite. Due to the current circumstances that eluded my understanding, we were both separated.

The feeling it gave off was just as strong as it had been. Furthermore, its vitality had improved, as it appeared to be in much greater shape, as it had been before the fight. Another question I could only speculate about.

Why do I find myself in a staredown with a dead creature? Can someone give me some sort of explanation for this kind of mess? I would appreciate it, to not stare at this wolf for the rest of my life, without knowing the reason for it.

An endless staredown between 2 irreconcilable enemies is not something I yearn for. Is my task to build my own zoo here? The more animals I kill, the more animals will I have in my disposal?

Knowing them they might seriously consider this idea if I think more about it. I better stop giving them any ideas, before it ends up haunting me. Whom am I kidding, they are certainly already making plans for something to make my life way harder.

After all, this was the way it was meant to be in their eyes. It was supposed to be a struggle and a task to prove your worth against all odds. Throwing my life away just to receive recognition from people I do not care about, Planet Earth certainly shares a lot more similarities with this world then I had initially expected it to be.

I was doomed to never know why exactly the visage of the wolf had appeared in this weird space of my eyes, nor would I ever learn what the fuck was actually going in it. Not giving any explanation whatsoever was seemingly the latest trend.

I could hardly wait to find out what development would occur next. What would they orchestrate just for me? I really admired their will to go the extra mile, while creating great suspense. How did they know, that not knowing what is going on is a kink of mine?

Whose knees would not go weak being left in the dark like this? Deeply moved by such an extensive thoughtfulness I could not help myself and started to appreciate the sheer lack of intelligence that was needed to come to such a conclusion.

It takes a lot of missing brain cells to look at the current situation and deduce that nothing is wrong here. There is only so much leeway I can give them before their intelligence drops into the negative.

With great power comes great ineptitude. I could tell, that all of this is done on purpose to achieve a very stupid goal. With such a dumb idea in mind, it was no wonder, that all of this was such a colossal failure.

I know, I know. How could I, a lowly mortal, even begin to fathom something as grande as a god or any higher being. My tiny limited brain could not understand beings like them. Its capacity was not big enough to even begin comprehending them.

A proof of their greatness is not required, how can I not see the extent of their nobleness, in all of the things they have not done. Finding something which clearly does not exist can be done with utter ease, all I have to do is believe in them.

Another life was saved by the magical power of make-belief, praise be to you very helpful people out there. You guys rock. I have no idea, why I deserve so much attention from them, but I would like to atone for my sins, if possible.

Somewhere out there, a more suiting candidate can surely be found. Finding a gullible person is not something very difficult, in a world where everyone is indoctrinated. I just know how impossible that really was.

If there was any alternative the choice would have never been me. Because we can not even understand one another in the first place. Giving me a sports car, when I have no idea how to start it, is not the brightest idea they could have come up with.

Bright and flashy lights were also not very helpful to me, something which might come as a shock to them. There was a gigantic rift between our understanding of suitable tools to use in such a context. A seizure was not one of them in my eyes.

Call me Karen, but I would like to speak to the manager in charge of all of this. We need to see eye to eye on this matter. These bad puns will be the end of me one day. Though I might never live enough to be able to talk to the manager.

Simply due to the fact, that I have no clue about all of this. I will complain about this till the day I drop, or I get the help I deserve. If they want something from me, it is on them.

Do they expect me to figure out all of this by myself? What kind of drugs are they taking and why did the not share the good stuff with me? Maybe by taking those illegal substances I could finally find out what the fuck goes on in their heads.

Now I am here stuck in this place, blind as a mole and all I see is this scale and the dumb expression on the wolf who runs into the wall over and over again. What a welcome change to the bitter nothingness I had to stare at beforehand.

At times I truly wonder if the concept of Karma was real, what must I have done in my past lives, to deserve a treatment like this? This rant of mine is truly not enough to gain clarity of my thoughts again. All of this just feels so random and out of place.

A logical explanation for all of this must undoubtedly exist, but is it logical for me or rather for the forces behind it? As of now, I am damned to just observe from the sidelines, since I am unable to influence either the scale or the wolf itself.

I was certain that I had ended the wolf's live with my very own hands, but everything else was inexplicable and up for speculation. A connection between this wolf and the former version seemed more than likely given its lovely attitude towards me.

Though through all of this the scale itself had not moved an inch and it remained inactive despite the strange development that took place in this space.

One might think that it would show some signs of life, with the creature being near it, but alas having any sort of expectation is clearly wrong in any aspect whatsoever.

Was this kind of sensation, what my parents felt looking at me? I am not ready for that kind of responsibility. Who in the right mind, would trust me with something which is like me? That is a recipe for total disaster.

I found myself being surprised yet again as another entity appeared inside of this strange space. This time around it was a very small creature, We share some very fond memories; they lead to this urge to kill them on the spot

It was rather fragile and seemed so frail and tiny as if it would break with a single touch. Riddled with injuries it became apparent why I felt like that.

The cub had finally returned, what a lovely reunion. I would like to shed a tear because Bambi had finally met its mother at long last, but this joyful occasion lasted only for a mere fleeting instance before everything changed.

The cub was attracted by an unknown force towards the scale at a breaking pace and smashed heavily into it. The impact left the corpse in a pulverized state, with the mass of particles flying everywhere.

The wolf and I both looked equally dumbfounded at the remaining particles that once had been a small cub. With no rhyme or reason did we both see something which made even less sense then everything prior.

The wolf was the first one to break out of its stupor as its desperate cry resounded in my mind. It had forgotten about me as its head turned to the scale itself. Seems like their murderer was not nearly as important as the loss of her cubs under these rather peculiar circumstances.

It was not forgotten nor forgiven, it was just due to the fact that I was not the current priority.

Yet the show was far from over as what was left by the cubs was moving slowly to the scala itself and entered its body only to be never seen again. As the wolf ran towards the scale trying to reverse something irreversible, I had a hunch what exactly just had taken place.

If my suspicion would prove to be correct, then it would really be something messed up. A scala which represents balance absorbs a cub. The only reason it would choose a cub over the wolf is related to the fact that the cub has not been tainted yet.

A baby does not know right from wrong, nor does it commit any heinous acts nor is it a saint. It is at its very core a being not influenced by the vicissitudes of life. All in all, it's a perfect nutrient for the scala which represents balance.

Do I have to wage genocide on newborns now? This is so fucked up, I like it even more now. It does make sense from a certain point of view, but with my values as a normal human being, It will never be something I should just accept.

This did not mean, that I would refrain from doing stuff like this, but I will also not forget about my routes. I will not follow their script as long as I can avoid playing their games.

I could only wish, that the cub may rest in peace, there is nothing else that I could do.