CHAPTER 14

Cat was almost jumping on the couch. Now it was my turn to give her a stern look.

"Please, Catherine…"

"Total honesty, remember… now spill it…"

"It was a story about a girl scout camp. And their scout leader. A man named Jack."

Cat nudged Narges. She looked down, more to hide her smile than out of embarrassment.

"What were the names of the girl scouts, Nana?"

"I… I don't remember…"

"Because there were so many of them?"

"Yes. One was named Tiffany. I think."

"And how old were they, Nana?"

"Catherine…"

"The oldest was about my age, right?"

"Yes."

"But some were younger?"

"Yes."

"Much younger?"

"Yes."

"Did you like the story?"

"yes."

"Nana…"

Louder: "YES, I really liked it. I wanted to read how… a girl… has intercourse… with an older man… a much older man…"

"Not a girl, Nana… not a teenager… say it…"

"When a…kid ...has intercourse with an older man."

Now Narges' face was a dark shade of purple. But there was still this smile. Cat knew she wanted to say it. That it needed to get out. My girlfriend… amazing.

"It was very well written."

"No shit. Nana, look at me."

Narges looked up, turned her head to Cat. Only then could I see tears running down her face… but still, that smile. Complacent. Relaxed.

"The offer still stands. If you want to… watch… how an older man — Sorry, Daddy, no offense…"

"None taken"

"... fucks a — Daddy, not a word…"

I did a zip gesture in front of my mouth.

"...kid… then we would be honored to invite you. Now. Are you in or are you out?"

Narges answers, but it is inaudible.

"I can't hear you, Nana"

Almost inaudible: "yes"

"Please, Nana, I have to hear you say it…"

"YES, I'M IN. Dan, Catherine… I want to watch how you… make love."

I say: "Life lessons".

Narges looked at me. Her smile almost gave me a heart attack.

—-----------------

We sat there and nobody said anything.

"Kitty, Nana… First, I'm under the impression that nobody has asked me if I'm in…"

"Daddy… sorry… I didn't mean to…"

"It's ok, Kitty. But just for the record: I'm in - even though I'm really not sure what I'm in for.

Second, let's agree on some… rules: If any of us feels uncomfortable at any time, say 'STOP'. No questions asked, no objections, we stop. Agreed?"

Nana: "Agreed… that's me praying for strength not to chicken out…"

Cat: "Agreed… but can we use another word?"

Narges: "Why?"

Cat: "I wouldn't rule out that… in the heat of the moment... I might say stop, even beg my Daddy to stop… but not, like, really mean it…"

Narges: "Cath… oh, never mind…"

"And it would be a shame if this ruined everything."

Me: "Helsinki."

Cat and Narges: "What?"

Me: "'Helsinki'. This will be our safe word. If anyone says '"Helsinki', the show stops".

Cat: "I like this. 'Helsinki'."

Narges: "'Helsinki'."

Cat: "I have some rules, too. Daddy, sorry for springing this on you like this. No blow jobs, no anal."

"Anal is when a man puts his penis into your… rectum?"

Cat chuckled. "Yes, Nana. But please, for the love of Allah, don't call it a 'rectum'."

"Catherine, I would have never asked you for… for…" She looked down. "Either."

"I never had anal and I'm afraid I will need some training to… like… show it off. I don't want to make a mess when… you are watching."

"Catherine, ewww…"

"Daddy… I really want to suck your cock…"

Narges' face turned red again.

"...but I had a very unpleasant experience and it's a bit of a panic trigger for me. I'm sorry."

"Kitty, it's ok. And I'm sorry you had… Did somebody… do something to you?"

"Just a boy who didn't know how to behave… but it was very unpleasant."

Narges: "Who?"

"I'd rather not say…"

"Catherine…"

"Josh Tennervalt"

"Josh Tennervalt?"

I looked at her, raised my eyebrows.

"A senior. Two years ago. It was… like, really bad."

"Josh. Tennervalt."

"Oh, stop it."

"Half the cheerleading squad is after him, including the Evil Queen… and you had relations with him?"

"Yes, 'relations'. I wish I hadn't. So, please, understand. Red line."

Cat looked at me. Smiled.

"For now."

God, I love her.

Me: "Nana, do you have any rules to add?"

"Yes. If you do not mind, I would like to stay… dressed. I assume you will be… undressed?"

Me: "I assume so, yes."

"Is it acceptable for you if I stay… decent?"

We both nodded… we both tried to suppress a smile. Narges looked relieved. Not exactly relaxed, but less tense than a minute ago.

Cat: "I have one more thing to ask. And I'm sorry, it's not negotiable."

Uh-uh.

"Before we start. Please understand, this is not to mess with you. I promise. From the bottom of my heart, believe me: I not only want this, I need it. From you. If you are in, we can begin. If you're not in… I'm afraid I can't."

"What do you want me to do, Catherine?"

Cat leaned over to Narges and whispered in her ear. Narges' eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with her hand. Her face turned a different, deeper shade of purple and we could both see that she was trembling.

"Catherine… I didn't know…"

"I'm afraid you would've found out sometime during our… session anyway. And I think it's better if we share this as friends before we share it as performer and audience. And right now, there is nothing more I want. From you. For me."

Narges frowned… we could literally watch her think.

"Yes, Catherine. I know how it feels to have a… need."

Cat hugged her a little tighter. "This means the world to me. Thank you, Nana."

"I have never done… anything like this. Don't thank me yet, Catherine."

Cat, happy and chipper: "Don't worry. 'Helsinki' me if you want out."

She got up and took Narges' hand.

"Sorry, Daddy, girls-only for now. If you want, get comfortable. Back in a bit."

She dragged Narges behind her, to the toilet. Narges reluctantly followed… she looked back at me, over her shoulder… her face tense and red… and then, her smile… small at first, then all over her face. She winked at me.

Uh-uh…

I stood there and waited. Feeling like an idiot. Passive. This would be the best word for my last 4 years. Passive. And somehow I got into Cat's orbit… 20 hours ago and now I just got dragged along. Even when I had (hit her), it wasn't me. It was her. Even when I had (raped her), it wasn't me, it was her.

I needed to get a grip on this. Assert some male dominance. Who was I kidding? This was my girlfriend and she was something else. My girlfriend. Something else.

I wasn't sure if I should undress. A picture of me standing naked in my living room while two fully dressed girls (kids) walked in… no. I pushed the table away from the couch. Maybe some wiggle room was a good idea?

I looked at the couch. Leather. And I remembered the salesman praising it: water repellent. This word alone turned my brain upside down. Water repellent. Pee repellent.

Tiled floor. I hated this floor. It had been Jenn's idea. Something Italian, something ridiculously expensive. Not warm wood, but cold tiles. Water repellent. Piss repellent. Sweet Jesus…