Chapter 1: The Unwanted

All of us started running right after hearing the bell. We ran like we had no time to breathe.

The entire place was filled with silence as we gather in front of the church, all of us standing straightly with a straight face.

My heart started pounding like crazy when I saw three nun walking towards us. The three of them are way over their 60's. All with a silver cross pendant hanging around their neck.

I swallowed when their eyes scanned us from head-to-toe, looking for flaws in our clothes.

We wake up six in the morning and we'll go to shower. After 30 minutes, the bell will ring and all of us will gather in front of the church. No one should be late. No one should have stains on their shoes and socks. Black dresses as our uniform should be neatly iron.

"What happened to your socks, young lady?" I began to sweat like crazy when I heard one of the nun from behind.

"I-i tripped from running a-and my socks got dirty–" The sound of a heavy slap made me jump. Then, I heard her sob, forcing herself not to cry loudly or it'll make things worse.

"Out," she said but the girl from behind continued to whimper like a baby, scared that she wouldn't get her breakfast for today.

"Drag her out of her." The nun said and the other did what she said.

All of us can't help looking at what was happening when the girl screamed so loud in pain. I gasped when I saw her being dragged by the nun from the ground while pulling her hair.

My stomach trembled in hunger and fear as I watch the girl's face expressing how much pain she's dealing.

"The rest, off you go."

We marched towards the cafeteria of the orphanage, still in line. The cafeteria is ugly with creaked wooden floors, cobwebs on every corner and old tables with loose screws. The smell of the food coming from the kitchen makes me vomit but I have no other choice... none of us do.

We eat nothing else but beans and porridge, three times a day everyday and it's been like that for the past eight years of my life.

I was abandoned and my Mother dropped me here in an orphanage, wrapped in a plastic inside a basket. I've known suffering the moment I learned how to walk.

We lined up, each of us picking up a tray to be filled with foods I'll soon die from. Except from beans and porridge, meat is the only food I've known. I've seen the nun eat meat... I guess it's from a chicken, a cow, a bull, or a pig, I don't know but it looked delicious.

When I got my food, I immediately sat down together with the friends I've found here in the orphanage. Adrian, Yna, and Happi. They were abandoned the way I was.

We finished our breakfast silently. I mostly drink way more water than food just to feel full. Beans and porridge makes me sick that my taste buds are going numb.

We were given chores to accomplish right after we got out of the cafeteria. Today, I'm part of the group to clean the garden. It's quite cloudy and breezy, it'll be challenging to sweep all the fallen leaves.

"It'll take an hour or two to finish all of these." My friend, Yna, whispered to me as we both grab a rake. Both of us are in the same group during Monday and Saturday. Today is Monday.

"At least we won't be sweating unlike Adrian and Happi." Adrian will be shining floors today in the lobby and Happi is inside the church, cleaning it.

Us, orphans are about 150 or so. Each month, there are foster parents visiting the orphanage, looking for a child. In my eight years here, I was never chosen. Maybe because of my titanium eyes and golden honey blonde hair. A lot of them assumed that I'm a devil. Too weird and precious to be abandoned.

Yna, who has short ebony hair and piercing round eyes, was mistaken as cursed because of her likeliness to a black cat. Happi, thinks too slow like a baby and too skinny, like a sick toddler. Adrian, with his curly hair and brown skin, he is known to be the son of a slave and a white man, born from a mistake.

"Yna, quick! Everybody!" I raise my voice to get everyone's attention when the leaves began to spread out again because of the strong wind.

All of them immediately responded and helped. We should be done in two hours, without any mess left. We need to help each other or we'll be punished all together.

One thing that I learned to survive here unharmed... that is to stick to the rules and help each other out. The problem of one, is the problem of all.

We only have few minutes left and we were lucky enough to finish right before it rained.

I hate rainy days... it makes our chances to be punish quite evident. The nun hates dirty shoes and socks, one of the hardest thing to avoid during rainy days. We would take caution when walking and all of us carry a piece of cloth to wipe the dirt and stain off our black shoes.

After our task, we would sit inside the church as we wait for the other groups to finish. All of us are required to attend the daily mass, the thing I hate most.

It's not actually Jesus that I hate or God, but the priest. He's scary especially when he says something in Latin. I would imagine his eyes turning bright red like a demon. He's old and he's cruel.

I wonder if things he says are true. About our religion, about our faith and about the God who made all things exist. It's hard to believe on something that was told by someone you dislike.

But I was left with no choice. We weren't given a choice. We are enslaved by the orphanage, by all the nun here. We don't deserve to live the way we want because we are abandoned... unwanted from the very beginning.