CH 19: MENACE HATES POACHERS! (E3)
(A/N: You know, it's seriously so entertaining when people get mad and bitch about a story not being harem. It's actually funny. Like, bro, go get a single girl to not look at you with disgust then talk about a harem, loser.
Harem sounds fun. At least for little kids who don't know shit. Do you know what a harem leads to in the long run? Look at the Chinese empires in the past. Those dramas didn't just come out of people's asses. Believe me, it's either the family getting ruined because too much jealousy and drama —which is DEFINITELY happening— or being cheated on. Which is justified.
Would you want your lover to have multiple lovers? No? Then shut the fuck up. Harem this, harem that. I honestly just ignore or drop stories the moment I find out their harem at this point, with some exceptions. Sorry for the rant, it's just that bitch in the comments pissed me off. Also, this part is not included in the word count.)
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"After we sell these babies to the highest bidder, we'll be kicking back on a beach in the Bahamas." Jonah said greedily, nearly hugging the glass container containing the two giant Krakken eggs.
"Yes, so be sure that the eggs aren't the only things that aren't broken." A tall, muscular man wearing a mask and a jetpack walked out of the shadows, speaking with a thick Russian accent :"Believe me, you wouldn't wanna know what would happen if our deal was broken."
Leonidas Van Rook. An antagonist turned ally in the Secret Saturdays. And arguably one of the best characters in the series. Alistair loved his dry humor, sarcasm and love for money. The fact that he would flirt with Drew at every chance even when her husband was around was pretty funny too. Man had balls if money or Drew was involved.
"I'd listen to him if I were you." Another man —with mohawk styled red hair, shaved sides and a physique suitable for combat— walked with him, wearing the same equipment :"The money in this job is way too juicy for him to tolerate problems."
"Oh, money?! How much are we talking?!" A strange voice said, alarming the criminals. Alarmed, they turned to see two weird flying creatures. One resembling a bug, white and green in color, and the other resembling a flying manta ray, red with yellow wings and wearing black shorts.
MantAstral continued with a smirk :"Mind sharing some?" Van frowned at the strange creatures, but didn't hold back from aiming his wrist gauntlets :"Sorry, but I hate sharing. Especially when it comes to money."
Bullets fired by everyone in the cannery immediately started flying, as did MantAstral and Stinkfly to dodge. "Whoa, chill out, dude!" The bug said in his squeaky voice :"Didn't your mothers teach you any manners?!"
Shooting his green slime —from his eyes, disgustingly enough— he disabled their weapons rapidly along with MantAstral who was making good use of his lasers.
"Ugh, damn it!" The poachers targeted by MantAstral cursed as their guns exploded thanks to the lasers, hurting their hands. "Shit, what the hell is this stuff?!" While the rest cursed at the green liquid that rendered their weapons useless.
"You better wish my gauntlet isn't broken, you damn bug!" Van Rook shouted, green liquid stuck to his and his apprentice's wrists :"See if I don't squash you if that happens! Do you have any idea how expensive these are?!"
"Squash me? I wanna see you try." Stinkfly smirked, flying down with MantAstral before bright lights blinded the poachers momentarily :"MENACE/Fourarms!" Two shouts were heard, along with a tiger roar :"COME GET SOME!"
"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU GOODMAN, WASTE OF SPACE POACHERS THAT MENACE FUCKING HATES!" When the light faded, a giant tiger —the sexiest of his species— standing on two legs with one black claw coming out of each of his wrists shouted :"MENACE HATES POACHERS! PROBABLY MORE THAN ANY OTHER CRIMINAL! SO YOU BETTER READY YOUR FUCKING ASSES, BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE SHOVING MY FISTS UP YOUR FUCKING ASSES SO HARD THAT I'LL PULL YOUR HEARTS OUT OF YOUR GAPING HOLES THAT WILL RESEMBLE YOUR MOTHERS' AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU!"
"Goddamn it, what is this place?! A monster zoo?!" Van Rook's apprentice, Doyle Blackwell, as he tried to get rid of the slime encasing his weapons. He needed them if he wanted to fight against the giant's that were running rampant.
"BOY, GET THE FUCK OFF MY FACE!" Menace roared, punching an enemy and sending him flying. Being nice enough to gift him several broken bones. Wasn't he so nice? Fourarms, with a battlecry, sucker punched someone himself. Before grabbing another henchman and throwing him into multiple others.
"Hey, Menace! Catch!" He threw someone at his partner, wincing when he punched him so hard the man flipped in the air. Arms spread as if free falling, with the world slowing down as if he was in slow motion. Poor received a punch that had all of Menace's anger inside.
"Die! Die! DIE!" Somebody emptied a clip from behind the tiger. But he simply looked back menacingly, growling —yeah, Menace was boss enough to tank bullets like nothing— before he delivered the mother of all uppercuts. Sending him flying towards Jonah's miniature sub hanging by the tower crane in the lake.
"Get out of the way!" Jonah shouted, punching his henchman away. What an ideal boss. Just as he took aim, another contestant made an appearance. Roaring, The Krakken broke through the cannery before punching away a henchman with her tentacle. Good thing she didn't grab him with it.
"Shit, just what the hell is going on here?!" Jonah said angrily, changing his target to the Krakken. His bullets proved to be different from normal ones, managing to push her back.
"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU FUCKING POACHER WHO'S WAY TOO FUCKING ANNOYING FOR JUST A FUCKING POACHER!" Menace pointed angrily :"MENACE DOESN'T APPRECIATE YOUR BITCH ASS ATTACKING A MOTHER WHO'S TRYING TO PROTECT HER KIDS!"
A red light flashed, and Blitzer (Shocksquatch) appeared in Menace's place :"So you better get ready to get some!" Gathering energy in his hands, he shot a ray of yellow lightning at him. Eyes widening, Jonah gulped :"Oh, no..."
As the electricity ran through him, his shouts of pain from the minisub were muffled and ignored. Luckily for him, Blitzer didn't use enough energy to fry him. Killing was annoying to get away with when you were living with superheroes.
He had worse plans for him though.
"Apprentice, change of plans!" Van Rook turned to the masked Doyle :"Improvise!" Seeing his efforts in getting rid of the slime was futile, they both went for other options. Noticing them taking out grenades, Fourarms's eyes widened.
Slamming the four henchmen in his hands together, knocking them out, he transformed into Diamondhead. Punching the ground, a crystal wall rose behind him and Blitzer, protecting them from the explosions.
"Shit, that wasn't supposed to happen." The mercenary frowned, before quickly jumping aside when diamond shards came flying at him. Taking cover, he grabbed onto a gun on the ground :"Alright, this was not in the contract! I demand a raise!"
"We won't be able to demand anything if this goes on!" Doyle glared. Though it was hidden by his mask, his tone showed his seriousness. "What should we do now, boss?!"
"Hmm... there are some big guns we brought to deal with the Krakken! We can make use of those!" Van Rook said :"Come on, go and bring them!" Earning a baffled and offended look :"You want me to go through this fucking battle zone?! Why don't you do it yourself?!"
"Cause I'm the boss! Now get to it before we're turned into swiss cheese or fried by that electric Yeti!" Rolling his eyes, Doyle cursed under his breath before checking the situation. Noticing a chance, he quickly started running.
"Now where are you running off to?" Diamondhead smirked, aiming at him. But Van Rook covered him by throwing a few grenades. Diamondhead frowned at his own carelessness when he didn't have the time to create a defense. Transforming, he turned into XLR8 before blitzing away from the explosion.
"Sorry, too slow!" He snickered at the mercenary. Doyle rushed inside, but unlike what he had expected, he saw that everybody inside was knocked out and beaten up. "Shit, as if those two weren't enough." He groaned when he saw the group that had dealt with his temporary coworkers.
"I'll admit, out of everybody I had thought of seeing, I didn't expect Van Rook to be here." Drew pointed her sword at Doyle :"Now are you going to do this the easy way? Or the hard way? A word of advice, all of these guys picked the hard way."
"Then I'll pick the third option, out of the way." He said, grabbing onto the biggest gun on the wall and rushing back. With the Tennysons and Saturdays after him, he threw the gun at Van Rook :"Boss!" Showing amazing strength, since that didn't look light at all. Turning to dodge a punch from Doc right away, punching his stomach while doing so.
"Now we're talking!" Van Rook laughed, aiming at Blitzer who was running wild :"Hey, fugly, eat this!" As he pulled the trigger, it appeared to be a high tech weapon as it charged up a laser before shooting it.
"Al, careful!" Heatblast shouted, but Blitzer simply grinned. With a flash of red, another voice laughed :"With please!" Before two tentacles with plugs at the ends moved towards the laser.
With his arms folded, Discharge (Feedback) absorbed the laser with a smug smirk :"Thanks for the meal. It was delicious." While Van Rook just stood there in shock :"Now this is some bullshit..."
"Now how about I return the favor?" The plugs on his hands flashed blue before he shot a ray of electricity at the mercenary. "Shit..." He cursed before he was blown away with a shout. As he crashed into the wooden building, he laid there tiredly :"... I should have listened to my gut feeling telling me to reject this job..."
"Ugh!" Doyle landed a bit away from him. "What's up, dear old apprentice?" He asked sarcastically, turning to see the group walking towards them. Seeing Drew, a smirk appeared under his mask :"Aah, Drew, such pleasure to meet you here. Are those your new pets? Must've been some hella expensive ones."
"Those aren't pets, Van Rook." She glared :"And what the hell are you doing here? Poaching, really?" Causing him to chuckle :"Ah, ever so cold to poor me. This isn't some regular old poaching, you know? What kinda poaching involves a freaking Krakken? Oh, by the way, you might wanna look out."
He nodded towards the tower crane. Turning, their eyes widened as Jonah returned to his senses and took aim in anger :"If I'm going down, I sure as hell am taking you bastards who ruined this with me!"
"Look out!" Heatblast shouted, XLR8 taking his place and moving to stand in front of them. Turning to Diamondhead again, he created a crystal wall, shielding them all from the bullets.
"Discharge, you might wanna help here!" He shouted to his partner, who glared at the minisub :"About time I dealt with you." With a red light, he transformed into Voltage (previously Ghostergy). A living current of electricity and the predator of Discharge (Feedback).
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[Vita Tonitrui Description: Predators of Conductoids and living currents of energy. These species enter the body of the Conductoids through their plugs and move to the brains. Once inside, they begin to control the Conductoids' body by electrical pulses to their brains and nerves, turning them into puppets and killing him in the process. Then begin using them as a means of feeding, using them to absorb energy until their prey's body rots and becomes useless. At that point the predator leaves the body to use all the absorbed energy to self-replicate in an asexual reproduction method.]
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Flying into the air with Jonah noticing him, he sneaked into the minisub itself. Into the wires and machine, before transforming. Suddenly, while Jonah was grinning crazily, the minisub stopped working.
"W-what the... what's going on?!" No matter how much he tried, no more bullets were shot. Out of nowhere, he heard a voice :"Hello, we're here to inform you about your miniature sub's extended warranty. In case you want to continue using it, please feel free to pay up," The color of minisub slowly began to change into black and orange, emitting a sinister voice :"With your life."
"Shit, what the fuck is going in?!" Jonah panicked, trying everything to get out of this situation. As Overdrive, a Galvanic Infectoid and the predator of Upgrade was about to envelop the arms of the minisub too, electricity lit up on the arm. Causing bits and pieces of Overdrive to be torn and fall to the ground.
"I did not appreciate that!" He barked, turning the other arm into a blade and cutting off the arm that electrocuted him. A head began to rise from the control panel, glaring at the poacher :"Sweet dreams, bitch." And Jonah blacked out.
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[Galvanic Infectoid Description: Predator of Galvanic Mechamorphs. This species' appearance changes depending on the phase of its evolution.
Phase 1: Black and yellow, it's miniscule, small even when compared to Microchips (Nanomech), and resembles a virus that collects DNA samples from Galvanic Mechamorphs to upgrade itself.
Phase 2: Black and light green, it grows to be half the size of a Galvan and takes the appearance of a tick with sickles for hands. It becomes a parasite, but abilities and purpose are the same.
Phase 3: Black and green, it grows to the side of a dog, and it has evolved enough to infect Galvanic Mechamorphs and turn them into its minions.
Phase 4: Black and green, it evolves to be almost unrecognizable from a normal Galvanic Mechamorph. Lurking among them, it hunts at the slightest chance. Its powers grow tremendously with further evolution, and allow him to absorb technology to improve itself instead of improving it.
Phase 5: Black and orange, it has completely evolved after updating itself using the DNA of an infected Galvanic Mechamorph on top of the normal DNA.