11 | Heart of the Problem

LUCAS had studied enough of what he was able to find of his new partners. It wasn't as much information as he would have liked to know, but with the obvious exception of Blaise, he had a solid grasp on who he was working with. He was sure that he could work with each one of them so long as he played to their strengths and didn't let on that he knew too much about their histories. That would surely lend himself to looking suspicious. The thought gave him a little more confidence in the plan they were now going to enact.

The group gathered together and small talk led way to final preparations for the plan. He found himself looking each one of them over and thinking of each of the events that had brought them to where they were currently. He found that he rested longest on Laven—he most curiously thought of the butterfly that flew freely and wondered if she had ever felt that free—in this world freedom was a dangerous poison that often overdosed those that desired it. Structure was safety now, and he further wondered if there was ever a way to know if your balance of the two was ever right.

Gavin looked in right order working toward each member of the guild. Speaking low so that only the two participants can hear. He then finally came to LUCAS, a bright smile affixed to his face—one so large LUCAS felt nervous looking up at it.

"So, you ready? I know this is a lot to take in so soon after joining up, but I can assure you the help is well needed."

LUCAS knew the double meaning behind the words, and he nodded slowly. "I'm fine. I was a bit nervous about it all before, but I figure you all have experience in your own fields."

Gavin's smile slowly faded, offering now a look that somehow LUCAS knew the meaning of. "You used ICARUS, didn't you?"

LUCAS offered another small nod at the unasked question. Gavin's look is of slight worry, but knowing that everyone else was so close he nodded in return. "I'd be careful with that. It's easy to get wrapped into the memories that are inside. And they're more than just memories, if you get close enough you can—" Roshe tapped him on the shoulder and whispered something close, the man's rough appearance seemed even moreso now that LUCAS had seen him at a much more vulnerable time. Gavin nodded and then turned to talk with him more, leaving LUCAS to wonder what he could do inside the memories if he got close enough.

LUCAS took in the tent's inside's one more time. He was sure this was the last time he was going to see it. Even though the total time he'd spent in it had been minuscule, it was the first place that felt like...well, home was too strong a word, but a place to return. A place to belong. But he didn't belong here. Not past finding the fragments of ICARUS and restoring the machine before the Children of the Night could get to them.

Roshe and Gavin nodded to one another and they both exited out of the north exit out of the tent. Laven turned to LUCAS and cocked her head. "Well, you ready to go get kidnapped?"

LUCAS offered a nervous smile, "I guess? All this is still so very strange."

"You get used to the weirdness," Laven said. "Come on, our transport should be out this way. They're going to take us out to our 'camp'. At least, the one that Roshe and Gavin will lead to us."

"Sounds good," LUCAS nodded, although he sensed more than a feeling of unease in her voice. He was wondering if she had been thinking about leaving her home even right now. He certainly wasn't going to ask, but it was present in his mind.

LUCAS followed her out to the buggy—it looked like a jeep with various parts here and there mismatched. It was a surprise that the thing ran at all. The front of the buggy was separated from the back—there was a grate separating them almost like police cars in the old world. Laven walked ahead and climbed up the side into the buggy first, LUCAS jumped in and sat next to her. He slid in and realized how tight the back of the buggy was. He felt his inner temperature rising and was confused. He recognized this from Abel's memories as the feeling of nervousness when being near someone you were attracted to. He side-eyed Laven, objectively she was attractive, but...this wasn't normal. He wasn't attracted to her—he wasn't even human. Much less, even if he was, he looked like a young pre-teen boy. Everything was against this feeling. Why was his body reacting this way?

"So, I don't know how you did it," Laven whispered, a feeling which only increased his level of discomfort. "But somehow you've been implanted in my memories...but I've never met you before," there was a small sound and he felt the sharp tip of a knife pressed to his side. "What exactly did you do, and how much did you see?"

The driver—a figure LUCAS didn't dare look toward to see any details of—hopped in the front of the buggy and fired it up. Slow movement gave way toward bumpy progress forward as they pulled away from the tent.

"I...I just needed to know more about who I was working with," LUCAS said, feeling his way through the conversation as his body tensed as the knife was held firm against him. "I just...was trying to make sure I could trust everyone."

"Those memories are private. I don't even want to begin to know how you managed..." she thought on something, "Did you see anything else? Anything I don't remember you being in?"

"I'm assuming you only remember me in the scenes I saw. No, I didn't see anything beyond that. Too many fragmented pieces."

She was confused at this, but LUCAS waved it off. "I'm sorry for intruding, I didn't know that it would add me to those memories."

"How did you even...?"

LUCAS cocked his head, confused himself. "I thought you didn't want to know?"

"I...I was being rhetorical," she said, almost annoyed. "You've got guts to be so brash with a knife on you."

LUCAS started to level out his internals. The source of the feeling was still unknown, but for now it seemed to be under control. "I do not believe you are the kind of person that would follow through unless I presented a threat to you." She looked at him with an eyebrow raised, and so he clarified. "I don't believe you think I'm a threat. Not unless I suddenly grow arm cannons or knives for fingers."

The knife retracted and she took in a deep breath. She relaxed against the side of the buggy and stared out at the people watching them off. She saw a separate buggy traveling out the other direction of the camp. "Just remain quiet about this to the others. I'm sure they'll have their own words with you about it. So I'm not expecting them to ask, but tell anyone and I'll gut you where you sit."

LUCAS was a little confused, he didn't understand exactly what was so sensitive about what he had seen, but he had no plans to speak anyway, so he simply nodded and sat in silence. He felt her eyeing him out of the corner of her eyes and felt a similar tension well up within his chest. Was this the kind of feeling that was being inhibited by the fragment Blaise had removed? He almost wish he hadn't removed it at this point if so.

"How old are you?" Her question hung in the air between them. His eyes slid toward her slowly, and then she started to chuckle. "I'm not doing anything with you, slow down. I'm just curious. You seem like you're about to explode just sitting there—I can feel the heat rising off of you. I was simply wondering if your mind was as young as you look. Wondering if I should take it as a compliment or prepare to defend myself."

"I..." There was no easy answer to the multiple questions he was just presented with. "I don't know how to answer that question. I think I've been awake as I am now for a little less than two months. Although, I think the beginning of the project that resulted in me has been in the works since the late 1990's, although if I wanted to go even further I think the technology that came together to make me was assembled even further back. I guess...somewhere in between?"

"Somewhere in between two months and fifty plus years," She stewed on this for a minute longer. "You realize that doesn't help me much."

He laughed awkwardly, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm feeling...uncomfortable. I don't feel..."

"You can say it. We're not in grade-school," she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I don't feel physical attraction. At least, I didn't before. I don't...feel that way specifically. I just think my body is trying to make up for...I don't know, maybe not?"

"That sounds like an overly complicated way to say you were attracted. Maybe it's the robot version of puberty?"

LUCAS's eyes darted over to her. To him, he felt like he should feel awkward, but it started to come more naturally. "No...not any offense to you, but I really don't think it's an attraction...at least, in the physical sense."

She cocked her head.

"I think I sense power. I think that's always been true. Someone with strong will, it sort of...resonates."

She thought on this, and the smile that returned was small, but it was real. "Well, that's a good answer. If I choose to believe it at least." She grinned in his direction before looking back out the window. "Maybe if you were older looking I would feel comfortable with saying you had strong will too. Sorry though."

"The fact that I'm not human wouldn't have been a condition?"

She laughed, he thought at the absurdity of the question. "I've never really met someone like you before, and you pass off as human enough to me. So, no, it wouldn't have. Of course, all purely hypothetical." She blushed.

He felt...off, like something under the surface had started to bloom. He didn't intend for it to happen—it's not a part of his mission. He's not supposed to even make friends much less more. Was more even available for him? The fate of the world was so much more important. He couldn't let something small get in the way of his goal. He noticed her temperature had risen subtly. He didn't care for it, especially when he noticed his own internals had risen in sync.

This didn't bode well.

He mimicked her motion and sat staring out of the window to the camp growing smaller and smaller in the distance. He tried to ignore everything but what he was seeing. He felt something behind his mind—something that he wasn't actively thinking about. He brought it to his front mind and saw it was a map of their location, their destination marked clearly and their path similarly notated. It must be from Blaise. Going off of this information at their current rate of speed, they would reach their destination in a little less than three hours out.

LUCAS decided he would get some rest and power down until they were closer. He set an internal timer and laid his head back against the side of the buggy. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as his internals slowed. His mind began to wander—finding the connections to ICARUS's network closer than he realized. He felt intertwined with the data like he had an intimate unconscious relationship. He felt his back mind disappear into himself. He felt a warmth as he found himself slipping into more of Laven's memories. He pulled away as hard as he could—not wanting to break his word. There was a much larger vignette that he scraped himself toward and he found himself hurtling down toward it.