Chapter 4

At school i notice how few people are staring at me, but not in the way I want them to. Their facial expressions show that they are thinking ' What a weirdo that girl is'.

I meet up with my friend. My friend is not an actual person, but instead it is a pillar. I'm so lonely! Because of my traumatic past experiences, I am too afraid to speak to anyone, which leads to this: my best friend being a pillar. Sometimes when i'm bored, I try to go around the pillar like a snake. I feel like shouting ' i'm not crazy'. Ahh the comedy in that...

I today again remind myself to keep the right tongue posture on. Our english lesson starts and goes by in a flash, but at the end of the class when i'm about to leave the classroom, my english teacher says: "You have such a pretty dress on today Bella" and I smile : "thankyou". Jes! I got my first compliment today. I'm very pleased with myself now.

Now i have started observing other girls in the halway and they seem to be putting make up on. Interesting color choices. Should I also learn how to use make up? ...

No, that would be cheating. I want to be a natural beauty, someone who looks dazling from morning to night. I puff my cheeks with my hands while thinking about it.

The day goes by and I finally decide to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! No that's not it. I decide to look up ways to cultivate my beauty from the internet.

I have heard of these type of thinks before, ways to change your appearance with the power of your mind. Human mind has a lot more control over the body than what is traditionally tought. There is this think called placebo effect and it works like this: person is given fake medicine, but that person still gets healed because they believe it is real medicine. So the power to heal ourselves is already in our brains, but we just need a tool to activate it. Compared to recovering from a disease, changing your appearance is easy.

Some people use visualisation to trick their subconscious mind into believing something about themselves and then their brains release chemicals that make the effects happen. Well that was the simple way to explain it, but actually it is much more complicated. Being a human sure is interesting.