Relieved Past (Five)

Once in the gym, I caught sight of the girls hurdled by the table, discussing. All with a serious expression, all worried, all curious, and right then I realized my safe bubble had popped. I couldn't depend on anyone any longer. Quieting my steps, I drew closer but kept to the walls trying to listen.

"....what if she really is this Lena person? What happens then huh?" Abi asked harshly, drumming her fingers on the table. Her nervous habit.

"Lucy has been our friend for 4 freaking years...if she really is Lena we stick by her side no matter what." Kelly said closing her eyes while rubbing her head.

"I got a hit." Lucy said "'Rose Lena Davis has been missing for five years, father found stabbed multiple times in the kitchen. There's evidence pointing that Lena is to blame but reports say that neighbours have constantly seen bruises on her body. Heard screams and cries daily but everyone feared to speak up'. Lucy showed up four years ago. What's questioning is that they both have the same birth dates. Same features. Same parental issue. We all know that Ms Loyn is just her guardian." Lexi said as she went through her phone.

"Maybe we should speak to Ms. Loyn?" Abi asked as she spread her arms, her eyes going wide.

"What if she hasn't opened up to her about her past." Kelly stated.

"There has to be a way to validate this. To figure this out." Lexi continued.

"Let's just take this research to Ms. Loyn and find out what she says'." Abi stated while standing.

"DON'T!" I shouted, my voice echoing throughout the gym. Their eyes on me with shock…one that utterly crashed me was the fact there was fear in there.

All eyes went to me.

"Ms. Loyn doesn't need to know anything, she's done enough for me and she has been a mother to me. I don't want to ever break her heart or scare her as I've scared you. We finishing school in like a month. I'll disappear just please don't. She's done enough for me." I pleaded. I've never begged in years, not since my father but Ms. Loyn has done enough.

"You don't need to disappear, we are just frightened about who you really are Lulu." Abi whispered.

"Can you ever just tell her who you are?" she continued.

"Let us help you." Kelly said as she started walking to me, slowly as if I prey.

I dropped onto a chair at the table, closing my eyes with a heavy sigh. I could feel a migraine coming. It felt too much. I couldn't handle this but I needed to. My head though pounded as if an intruder right then I felt memories come flowing back.

'You piece of shit!'

'I'm so sorry.'

'Thanks, joy'

'Take care of him honey...he needs you'.

My breathing increased rapidly, I could feel everything closing in on me, feeling choked up I fell onto my knees. I needed to get air in. I needed to relax, my body was buzzing harshly as if demanding oxygen.

"Breathe in and out slowly Lucy." Abi said as she held my hand. Or was it Lexi or maybe Kelly?

No, I felt dizzy, weren't they the same person.

'You going to learn how to make me happy.'

'You did this!!'

'I hate you'

"Stop please." I cried holding my head in my lap. The voices were closing in and they wouldn't shut up. They sounded like echoes trapping me in a house of mirrored memories. Right then I saw him through my blurred sight and he smiled darkly.

'good girl you finally on the floor, finally reap for daddy to reep huh?' he teased as he crunched down to me on the floor.

"LUCY!" I heard someone shout.

"Get him out of my head! Get him out now!" I yelled as the voices got louder, shutting them out. Then darkness clouded my vision.

'The sunny rays streamed through the curtains, spreading light and a dab of warmth throughout. Chasing away the chills and snow of winter. The sun welcoming itself into the day as if a newborn for the world. I smiled, running out of my room to my parents. My small feet trampling against the cold tiles with barely a sound to an alarm like the crunch of withered leaves. I knocked twice on the door as dad had taught me and let myself in. Both still soundlessly asleep without a care in the world.

"Wake up! Wake up! The suns out and the wenter is gownin." I said happily, jumping onto their bed. They groaned and whispered "5 more minutes."

"Mommy and daddy it's my birthday!" I cried. That seemed to wake them up with a jolt. Daddy carried me up and threw me in the air. I squealed with joy.

"Donald don't you drop her!" Mommy snapped.

Dad laughed and carried me back into their bed and kissed mommy. I pouted and he kissed me too.

"Happy birthday joy" he whispered into my ear.

"Our joy." Mommy whispered. Daddy went into the bathroom while I stayed with mommy in the bed. I was beginning to drift from the comfort.

"My precious darling. Our precious joy. Look after him for a while. He'll need you dearly. You apart of me. We raised you well for 3 years now and you are growing beautifully. You are now 9 years old. You grow braver. Be yourself. Never forget me..." she whispered as she kissed my cheek. As my brain processed her words, I was falling asleep.

"Mommy where you going?" I whispered.

"To heaven baby girl. I love you. Be there for him no matter what." She whispered.

"Don't forget to come back home." I whispered little did I know about death.'

The machine sounds showcased my calm heartbeat, I breathed out heavily as I took in the surroundings. The smell and blend coloring matched my very aura. I hated this place. Hated it for more the one normal reason, the hospital had no fan. Comedians barely made jokes about it I laid on my side, wetting my hands with tears as my head rang out with the memories. My heart and soul screaming out its regret for killing him when mom had asked the opposite.