Explanation

``Fury'' by Lupin Lois

I wonder what makes me boil so quickly,

I want to believe it is love hence vulnerability,

I would like to think the screams are on you

that admit to poke for a stronger reaction.

I am not sure though if you are right,

that it is way too easy for me to complain,

that I get way too upset way too fast,

that the triggers are multiple and irrelevant.

Maybe I do burn inside with uncontrollable rage,

and you are the closest on my face

or the one trying to get under my skin.

Regardless, wish I could be the bigger man,

that I could listen to sharp knifes and keep my calm,

that I could hold my ground when it is so far gone.

Rage was beginning to take control over my voice. - ``I am not having a psychological break down, I am ill! Could you please listen to me?''

-``Don't be ridiculous, you aren't ill, we'll be right there. Don't you worry about a thing, and we'll explain it all.''

The phone was out before I could understand his words. It seemed as though he knew something wasn't right but it was natural not to be. Could they have already tested the soap and found some slightly inconvenient results? They wouldn't let me test it if that was the case, and they most certainly wouldn't go to a spa looking like this. Unless that was the only treatment. I glanced intuitively at the mirror to revolt at my wet dog look.

Not long after I heard the entrance door. It couldn't be them already, could it? But my heart started jumping, pulsing my breath.

-``Honey?''

-``Mum? up stairs.'' - My voice trembled dry.

-``We were already on the way, but your father though he should come as quickly as he could.''

Her voice was filled with affection. As it rose louder at every step she took, my eyes burned and got submerged in salt water.

-``Oh, dear. There you are.'' - She turned the lights on and I felt sharp nails pinching my eyes. They got used to it and I lifted my had to look at her, but no word would come out.

-``I am so sorry you had to go through this.'' - she seemed despicably normal, as if she would expect this atrocity of a face of mine.

-``What are you talking about, what happened to me? What was in your soap?'' - A hint of accusatory frustration tainted my words.

-``Oh, dear. I think you should talk to your father. Dad?''

-``What do you mean? What is going on? Why aren't you frightened? Why aren't we running out the door on the way to a hospital? You talk as if this was unavoidable. Is this irreversible?'' - The thought just came to me and it got my hands shaking.

-``I got used to many things when I met your father.''

-``WHAT?'' - Now I was no longer crying in despair, I was angry and shouting. And preparing to scream as hard as...

-``Hi there fluffy.'' - my father just entered the room and was actually laughing at me.

-``What?'' - my voice failed me.

-``Well, we have a lot to talk, mum why don't you make us a tea?'' - and he nonchalantly winked at her.

-``I know exactly which one to make.'' - she answered in a mellow voice.

-``Why are you all reacting so... indifferently?'' - My head was spinning with the surreality of the situation.

-``Indifferently, good god no!'' - Dad sounded offended.

-``Right, because you always call me fluffy when I look like this and you always make jokes.'' - He did, and not the kindest ones either, but not in a moment such as this.

-``Actually I do, but they are too spicy for your age. We the wolfmen always tend to go a little too hostile on the humor. Ask your mother.''

-``He caught me by the laugh. Just spicy enough to make me blush.'' - she replied carelessly, from the stairs as she went down to the kitchen.

-``Wolfmen? What is this? A prank day? Is there a camera in my room?''

-``No darling,''

-``And why are you being so nice all of a student?''

-``Well, I am entitled to be nice.'' - He started to lose his smooth talk and I could finally recognize the man siting next to me on my bed.

-``I was not your age when I found out, I was prematurely out of the closet and I panicked. I wasn't expecting any of it and I was frightened. I scared all my friends and it took a long time to overcome that. I guess it was very nice to see that there was somebody that didn't fear me. That was your mother, '' - Then he murmured as though it was a secret - "it made up for all I have been standing through out all these years." - he thought he took on too much. They both did, as if it were a contest to see which one deserved the other more.

-``What are you trying to tell me? That this is normal? And it happened to you?''

-``Oh, no dear. It's not normal, it just happens to us lucky few.'' - His smirk was back.

-``Lucky?'' - I contested in a very spontaneous way. There was no containing my frustration anymore. Another minute in the rabbit hole and I would be jumping out the window to induce my awakening. This couldn't be for real!

-``Hey, you had it easy. Try explaining to your headmaster that you bit your gym teacher because he didn't let you punch the stupidest boy in class? Try getting home while feeling the mutation, afraid of what your parents will say and how everybody will react?''

-``But what...?''

-``Just let me tell you a story and by the end you can ask all you want. OK?''

I was so frustrated and exhausted I gave in with a nod.

-``Life isn't as easy for everyone. Some get double the force, some get double the hair, and using Peter Parker's uncle's words. 'With great power comes great responsibility'.''

-``Are you kidding me?''

-``Ach! You promised you wouldn't interrupt... You come from a long line of lycan, wolfmen, werewolves if you must.''

-``What?''

-``Hey, you want answers? Because I can just give you the manual and live you to that.'' - I nodded at the lack of better options, with my jaw still hanging of incredulousness. Manual??? What on earth???

-``The wolfmen exist, and they are normal people! ...most of the time at least. How they came to be the historians haven't figure out very well, there aren't many and used to die in very abrupt ways back in the past. We transform the first time, when our hormones quick in, typically in a full moon. We don't eat people, but we get very aggressive in our wolf state and that's where the stories come from. After a while we adjust and are able to control the metamorphoses, no longer being subjected to violent episodes in the full-moon light or when your boss is a total dick. Well... We also have special treatment from the government, a kind of free compulsory college until we are able to control ourselves, yearly meetings with the authorities to check our behavior, and psychological counseling with complements of the peaceful ignorant voters. Questions so far?'' - he asked in a casual voice as mum handed me the tea, smiled, and disappeared again.

My brain was still so busy processing all this... information, that I didn't know where to start. None of it seemed real.

-``How do we change back?''

-``You breathe slowly, let your anxiety be expelled by your body, and you drink your mother's chamomile tea. She has got my mother's recipes for all our particular crises.''

I took a sip of the tea which had many more flowers than chamomile, and breathed in deeply until my chest hurt, sored like it was hit by a truck. I felt the tightness of my body going away and I looked at my hands as the skin started to show.

-``What was in the soap and why did you do this to me?''

-``I told you, so you would have the opportunity I never had, of discovering your true self in a controlled environment. I was prematurely prompt to change. Otherwise your grandmother would have given me the same soap. It also moisturizes and smoothens your skin so when it happens it doesn't hurt as much. You will have a book on the subject. Well, you'll have a subject on the subject once you get to college.''

-``What? NO! I am not going to college. Specially looking like this and knowing it is a school for freaks!'' - my dad's face frowned to my outburst and I knew I hadn't been too sensitive on the adjectives.

-``I am sorry dad'' - My tone was now as sweet and proper as I could manage in such a strain. -``I don't even know if I want to go to college, and if I did, I think I would prefer a normal one. Isn't there anything I can do to make this go away?''

-``No! There isn't anything to help you amputate part of yourself, if that is what you mean. And you have no choice about the college either. You are very fortunate the government went through all the trouble of financing that school, and it is the best thing for you. You may be old enough to make your decisions, but these are legal rights you're trying to flush down the toilet. Also the government doesn't enjoy having uncontrolled powerful people amongst the simple folk, so it is really compulsory.''

-``I don't care. I don't need those rights, because I will learn to be like anybody else.'' - I cried out.

-``Oh ya?''

-``Ya!'' - I answered, so he looked into the mirror so that my eyes would follow and I would see how much hair I still had on my face.

-``You will need help controlling your anger. You will need knowledge of the world you were shown partially today. You will have experiences most people only find in fairy tales and movies.''

-``Horror movies!'' - I corrected.

-``People tend to exaggerate. And you will learn how brilliant your gift really is.''

-``Do you transform when ever you like?''

-``Yes, I wasn't the best the school had ever seen, but I manage the basics.''

-``Dad...''

-``Ok, ok. Would you like to see?''

-``Yes! will it be as frightening?''

-``As feeling yourself break and burn, mutate and looking in the mirror for the first time thinking you are seeing a monster? No, it will be pretty routine for me. It doesn't hurt once you learn, and your mother likes me fluffy, so I have a lot of practice.''

-``DaD!''

-``Well, watch and weep.''

I looked at him and he didn't even stand, he just shook his head, clicked his neck and let it happened. The outer side of his eyes was changing form his typical brown to a reddish tone, a sapphire ring around his dark and yellowish brown radii. His jaw popped slowly out of his face and his beard covered his whole cheeks. His brown hair was still longer than the rest of his body hair, which was caramel with white highlights. I looked at his hands and they were more curved, the hair flowed through them against his now curvy sharp long nails.

I swallowed dry and lost my sense of direction. The room started to zoom out in fog and my body just dropped all grasp of reality.