Chapter 8

Alice promised me a role that she couldn't attain for me again. The longevity of an extra's career is out of the question in that it does not last long. Like the short lived bouts of peace I have with Kyle, the fiancé. Nothing really goes perfectly right for anyone in life, but things I wish I could change seem unreachable.
I'm stressed at the point I'm supposed to be enjoying my life. And the only person who ever cared about my well being is gone. Courtney Miller was a good friend if not a total bombshell who knew how to look out for me. She has everything going for her and I know that to this day. Even when she told me she had a long standing problem with drugs since the age of thirteen, I still knew she had herself together.
No one was cooler than Courtney until that night we vowed to never speak to each other again. The pain I felt in my chest for the rest of the year made me wonder if opiates were worth the cost of everything around you.
I was offered multiple variations of drugs throughout my modelling career. But that is nothing to highlight as a big moment in my life gone well. I nearly died of anorexia at age sixteen, a week before my first supermodel shoot.
If I remained in my career, my mother would have spent every day crying over my bad health choices and malnourishment just to make clothes look nice in photographs. I couldn't imagine putting her through that. I had to grow up at some point and recognize my loved ones and everything they do for me.
I suppose before all of these realizations, Courtney kept me sane. Her dangerous eyes were like a protective barrier around me. Like a drug one takes at a party. She felt warm to me, despite her icy demeanour. When I think of her, I only wish her the best things for she was miserable.