A Cruel Joke of Fate

It took the grinning Fayette several minutes to recall his 'legend'.

By the end of it, there was only one thought in his mind.

'MAGNUS! If I ever see your sorry ass here! KILL YOU IS THE LAST THING I WILL DO!'

"Hehe… History said you fucked as many men as you killed~ No wonder you can see my body and not react." She grinned and turned her head to the size in mock 'sadness', by now she was aware that everything is fake… but still, there wouldn't be a better chance to tease the 'Bringer of Euthanasia' than now.

"Please, stop…" That was all he could say as his head hung down, he wondered if those stories were the truth of she was just taking the piss, he truly couldn't imagine his father to be so merciless.

Brain cells, dignity, everything is being lost.

…

"Don't you want to know about your father?" She inquired next after having laughed enough to lighten the mood.

"… No, he probably died happily of old age after remarrying some noble slut, had many other sons that sucked his balls to the tee unlike my sister and me."

"… Well, he did start a relationship again with a noblewoman, Ashleigh Selhurst if I remember correctly… But never married again or have children that I know… He died of old age, considered a hero."

As expected, but it didn't matter, if this is hell, that bastard no doubt came here is going to come here at one point, he's happy as long as he knows the bastard suffered here. If he died of old age, that means he had a hard time.

"Hmph! Hero!?… He was one of the biggest money launderers and creator of fiscal paradises around the world… The amount of people he killed in the background… hero they say, preposterous." Anger seeped through but disappeared right after.

There will be time for that later.

...

Except for giving him a resigned glare, Fayette said nothing else about that topic.

She's gaining a soft spot for this man, the circumstances were horrible to say the least, during her period in the army, she got conditioned to survive in extreme circumstances… but to call this world extreme?

It's an understatement.

She felt overjoyed with the fact that she managed to meet someone this dependable so soon, although a part of her was still in guard, her biggest part thought that maybe the two of them could thrive and not live a pitiful existence in this place.

Another part of her couldn't help but wonder about the rumours of his existence back in her time.

'He's truly not what they portrayed, does that mean that Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong and Stalin could have been good people?' She wondered with intrigue.

Could history truly be believed? If so, to what extent?

She wondered, what rumours would there be about her in a farther future? She hadn't been a good person, the amount of people she saved, there were not that many.

***

Valentine stood up and walked to the entrance of the cave, touching the ground only to realise it was still too hot, thankfully, there were no black clouds in the distance and a clear red sky covered this world together with the three hanging yellow moons, for some reason, they looked way darker than before.

Not a single person has come here for a while now, it made him wonder how likely is that people fall close to the same area.

The two had heated another chunk of beast's flesh, aware that it wouldn't last long and soon they would have to look for more.

***

"Do you want to look deeper inside the cave to see if we can find water? Maybe this is some complex that goes underground, we have more odds of finding water there than outside." She stood up as well and analysed, truly thirsty beyond measure.

"Whatever water there was outside must have more than evaporated with that heat…" She continued and walked a little deeper inside, waiting for him to follow.

Her injures were already healed, but he looked like he needed a few more minutes.

Valentine nodded in acknowledgement, indeed, it was also better to know what lay inside this cave.

…

The two walked inside, noticing how it grew gradually cooler the deeper they entered, but sadly… They reached a dead end, there was absolutely no light and by now they held each other's hands and touched the wall to guide each other, they knew there were no beasts as they would have come out long ago due to the flesh's smell.

But except for remains of bones they walked on, there was nothing else.

"Damn… The floor is cooler than outside, but there is no water, so you think if we dig… There will be some?" She inquired, it was a common practice, but she didn't feel confidence due to the continuous heat.

"Let's try."

…

Nothing.

They used the sharp knives to dig a hole at least a metre deep, after that there was simply rock, but except for minor humidity, there was nothing else, clearly, they were nowhere near a coast or a river.

The situation looked grim.

"Let's go back, someone might have come by now."

…

They couldn't notice due to the lack of light, that engraved in the stony wall there were mysterious symbols.

Symbols of a language none of the two know, but an old language that originated from the Earth.

Long lost in history.

'Follow the flames'

***

No one came into the cave.

"It's like we're by ourselves… was it a coincidence that five of us reunited in this place before?" She asked again, this time with a worried gaze.

What would they do after the food ran out?

"The ground is a little more tolerable. There are no black clouds, also, no sign of nighttime." He was thirsty as hell as well, but aside from drinking his own piss, he had no idea what to do, they either found water or died of thirst.

Ah yes, they can't die… If they can't die after falling from unprecedented heights, he doesn't believe they can die of hunger or thirst, but the feeling is still there, tormenting…

He also didn't feel like pissing, maybe due to the fact that they hadn't drunk anything, here or before coming here…

"I'm very thirsty, Valentine… This heat has been impacting us all way around for three days now." Fayette complained, it's probably hotter than the Sahara.

"There is nothing we can do, there might be some luck out there." Valentine somehow felt an ominous atmosphere form slowly.

...

"I… feel like I want to piss…" she stared at him deeply and managed to say between a stutter and a whisper.

"… How?" They haven't drink anything and every liquid their bodies have should have been used for hydration.

"I think our bodies came here almost the same way we died… I was on a hospital bed, consuming a lot of liquids… what about you?"

"… I didn't have a meal for several days." He had been hunting that bastard Clarence and hiding from the UK's authorities, after all, everyone thought he was in Afghanistan, therefore he couldn't appear publicly, not even in a supermarket.

Therefore, he didn't risk it and didn't eat, maybe just drinking some water every so often, but he knew that his bladder was empty.

"I see, then… we… can drink it…" Fayette's voice turned more and more into a mosquito as she spoke, her dry throat speaking for her instead.

...

"… Hell no! Drink your own piss!" He gave her a disgusted gaze, drinking your own piss to survive… that's reasonable for him, but someone else's!?

She snorted and crossed her arms underneath her fur covered big chest, "I need your help! How the hell do you expect me to do it? I'm not a contortionist!"

The image of her somehow bending to drink her own piss… Not only was it painful but also weird.

"Then what do you suggest!? If push comes to shove, piss on my hands and then drink from it." He stated his limits.

"But if we do that… A lot of that will be spilt, I don't know if I have more in me!" She bit her lips, a slight blush creeping on her face, dammit she didn't want to do this but the thirst was killing her, just a bit… until they found water!

"Jesus Christ..." He caressed his forehead.

"I'll piss directly on your mouth… drink some of it and leave me the rest." She suggested and started to untie her improvised skirt.

"Fucking hell…" He couldn't believe this.

"Yes, fuck it!" She threw the fur aside, now only with a piece covering her breast, her crotch totally exposed for him to see.

"Are we really considering this? We can still just test our luck out there!" It's not that he didn't want to do it, but the fact that he couldn't believe they reached this low!

"Are you a man or not!? Could it be that the rumours are true?!" She mocked, shamed enough by exposing herself, more so knowing what they were about to do!

Rolling his eyes he exhaled a last breath of resignation, "How are we doing this?"

There were only two ways of doing this...

"J-Just lay on your back, open your mouth and close your eyes..." She stuttered and waited for him to get in position.

'Oh God, why?' He wasn't a Christian, but since this is hell and God's existence is confirmed, at least he can complain!

He wanted to reject, but she was right in some regard, if they didn't do it now, then she might not have any more later, and they needed to leave and find something to drink and possibly a better place to hide, without the right amount of energy they might collapse outside and it could be fatal.

Therefore, he lay on his back, opened his mouth and closed his eyes, awaiting the undesirable.

This situation… it wasn't erotic at all.

He hadn't ever done this with any of his lovers, ever.

Fayette gulped a mouthful in nervousness.

She gave the cave's entrance a brief glare.

What if someone entered the cave just at this moment!? She couldn't even imagine the embarrassment, 'Sigh I'd have to slaughter people again.'

With the thirst thinking for her, she walked up to him before placing her pair of slender legs in either side of his face, exhaled deeply and squatted down, placing her vagina on top of his mouth...

She bit his lips and tried to move, 'aiming' for the right spot, and pressing her mound to try and hasten the whole accursed procedure.

She growled when seeing his half-opened mouth!

"O-Open bigger! I don't have a penis like you, can't aim that well!" She yelled almost in outrage, she truly didn't want a single drop of her liquids to go to waste.

"Oh for God's sake!" He complained but still did as requested, opening his mouth bigger!

...

Fayette saw the chance and stared up to the cave's ceiling, not wanting to see his face, but then again, if she didn't see his face, she wouldn't be sure that she unloaded in the right place!

'Damn it!' With a blush as deep as a volcano's epicentre, she stared down at his face, happy that he did as he promised and kept his eyes closed.

Even if she didn't mind other men seeing her body to some extent due to being in the military, that didn't mean she wanted him to see such a shameful visage of hers!

...

For the next several seconds, nothing happened... Valentine knew her vagina was in front of him, all due to his senses and also the musky scent that stank a little, obviously due to her no washing herself ever since they came to 'Hell'.

Still, nothing came out...

"This is already awkward enough you know?!"

"Oh shut up! I always take some time before I can do it!"

'This has to be a joke, a very cruel joke!' He grit his teeth, not believing the situation he got himself in!

"Umn~ Open your mouth! what are you closing it for!? is coming out now!"

He hurriedly opened his mouth big!

"Uhm~"

He heard Fayette moan slightly and the next second a scarce stream of very hot and salty liquid started to fall on his mouth!

!!!

As if all the thirstiness in the world activated right at that moment, he had the impulse to swallow it right away!

A liquid, finally a liquid!

Still, he restrained himself, and rightfully so.

After mere three seconds... The flow stopped.

...

'Is this all!?'

Are you for real!?

His mouth wasn't even full, there is no way this is going to do anything to the two of them!

Fayette stared at him and moved aside, she also realised this... "Sorry... I thought it would be more."

For the two of them, this really is not impactful at all, maybe to fool the brain but nothing else...

He caressed his forehead and stood up and before she could say anything he kissed her.

!!!

His tongue moved and the liquid flowed from his mouth to hers, he didn't swallow a single drop.

After he finished, he released the blushed Fayette's lips and stood up.

"Let's go... We don't want any of those black clouds to come close." Valentine stated taking back his knife.

She touched her quivering and salty lips for a few seconds and stood up next, she knows he didn't drink any...

Putting her skirt back on, she walked up to him with determination, 'I'm going to help you no matter what!'