A cold dish, with a dash of hot sauce

Deep beneath the surface, in the depths of the uncharted lower level of Orcus Dungeon, a subtle sound echoed through the rough stone corridors.

The wet, meaty ripping sound of tearing flesh was interspersed with a quiet splattering sound, followed shortly thereafter with a muffled, quiet grunt of pain, and the sound of air between teeth in a slight hiss.

How did I come to these circumstances again? Well.....

6 hours earlier...

As I stood in the alcove in the wall waiting for prey, the thought ran through my mind "perhaps I went too far with the mind juju".

Why? Because my current mental state is somewhat akin to a starving, crazed beast, albeit a intelligent one. The worry that percolated through my bloodlust was I may scare away my prey, as I was fairly sure anything the least bit sensitive to killing intent (ie, every wild animal and monster) could sense me a mile away.

"Meh, most creatures down here are kill crazed, oddly so. It's kinda like a video game in that respect, with monsters fighting to the death instead of retreating when injured like animals would. So a little killing intent should just act as bait down here." I muttered to myself as I crouched there in the darkness with the small of my back resting against the upper rim of my escape tunnel. Leaning against the wall on my right hand side was a short spear made of compressed stone, roughly fashioned into the shape of a javelin.

On my left side, affixed to the stump of my left arm was a slightly unwieldy stone shaped into the form of a tower shield. I shifted a bit making sure my legs hadn't gone numb and were still ready to propel me into my bolthole if warranted, when I heard a scuff on the gravel I had scattered at the entrance.

Showtime.

* * *

The wolf was puzzled. Being neither a deep thinker nor a particularly curious specimen of the breed, being puzzled was something the wolf was fairly unfamiliar with. The furry protagonist of its own little world cautiously paced forwards, small stones faintly grinding beneath the large, heavily clawed feet.

The scent in the air was odd, unknown in this microcosm of stone corridors, darkness and death. It was an acrid, harsh scent that left a irritating sting to the sensitive nose of the beast, almost drowning out a fainter and far more appealing scent.

Blood.

It's eyes glowed as much from eagerness as from the reflection of the light stones lining the corridor it entered.

The wolf paused, baffled by the sight before it. Where it's memories of the area told it should be an open corridor leading to a dead end, was a confusing array of stone rods running from floor to ceiling lined up into rows of bars roughly a foot apart.

The odd part was the wall of bars stopped roughly two feet shy of the left wall, and this pattern continued alternating walls forming a two foot pathway crossing and re-crossing the width of the corridor.

Cautious and curious, the vict..ahem, the wolf paced forwards, drawn onwards by a slight scuff ahead. It paced forwards, drawn by the intermittent waves of bloodlust, low whimpering sounds and a faint scent of blood painting a picture of a wounded, desperate prey in its mind.

As it paced between the rows of stone bars and neared the second turn of five, it's ears pricked suddenly. A sharp whistling sound, followed by the crack is stone striking stone responded from further into the trap, making the lupine head tilt in confusion. A moment later it happened again, this time closer ahead and a bit to the left. These sounds kept echoing out around the wolf, and after a moment it continued pacing onwards towards the meal it would not be denied.

This continued for a few more steps until it happened, a swift movement out of the corner of its eye, a tinkling crash followed by a searing pain in its left eye.

Its head jerked reflexively right as it made a small hop from the sudden pain, a sound somewhere between a startled yelp and a snarl.

Unfortunately for the bloodthirsty lupine its misfortune was just beginning.

As its paws came down from its hop, pain suddenly shot through the tender flesh between its paw pads of its right front foot, the resulting flinch allowing its momentum to cause it to stumble into the bars on it's right.

Or rather into the razor sharp stone spikes jutting up from the base of the bars that had been overlooked in its single minded focus on prey.

While most were shattered on the magically reinforced fur and tough, dense flesh inflicting minor cuts that barely penetrated its hide, a few went as deep as a quarter inch.

Thrashing upright with madness, rage, and bloodlust glowing in its eyes like fire, the wolf threw back its head and let out a roar of fury that would have better suited a large cat, lowered its head, then exploded forward as swiftly as it could while arcs of lightning wreathed its body in a bloody promise to its tormentor.

* * *

5 mins later

***

"Really? I ask myself out loud, a flat, disbelieving look in my eyes while my voice veers twords the monotone. "All that time psyching yourself up, building this elaborate killing field, creating fragmentation caltrop grenades. And it STILL ends up dying to my third to last ditch defense...the pit trap."

The corner of my left eye began twitching as I look down on the sealed pit just in front of me.

"All that effort, and it still ends like canon, he he, huah haha, AHAH!!" my mumble of indignity degenerates into roars of hilarity as the situation's absurdity struck me. The peals of mirth may have started with a tinge of hysteria coloring its timbre but by time bellows collapsed into wheezes and chuckles the sound rang lighter, like some burden once picked up and long forgotten had been released.

My stomach's erudite and well written multi-book doctorate thesis elucidating the sociological, economic, and physiological reasons why such abstruse subjects should be shelved until after lunch was sadly subject to translation problems when condensing it down to a measly six dimensions, instead coming out as a simple thunderous "RRRGLE!!!"

Oh the horrors of Google translate.

"Less thinking, more cooking." I mumble to myself as I pop down my tunnel to snag my drained wolf carcass. What, you think I wouldn't improve ANYTHING from my predecessor's design?

Nope, blood channels leading to jugs.

Why jug blood? Potential bait.

Bah, time for some BBQ!!

***

Six hours later

***

"Oh, that's how I got here" I thought to myself as I hopped in place, huffing and blowing on the too hot first mouthful of roasted wolf while the juice splatter came horribly close to places where hot liquids are Verboten.

As I wipe the juice off my thigh I absently chew and swallow the now cooled meat, causing me to freeze mid crouch as a volcano went off in my stomach spilling white hot quicksilver along every vein, artery and nerve like a flash flood of pain.

*Ding*

System detecting Energy Baptism/Forced Evolutionary Ascent

!Warning! Lower lifeforms experiencing Unguided Ascent without supplementary healing poses a 96% chance of death, and an estimated 27% gains efficiency upon survival.

?Would host like activate Auto-healing?

?Would host like to activate Automated Evolutionary System (AES)?

Through the blinding pain threatening to overwhelm me I manage to choke out "Yes to both" before having to grit my teeth as speaking seems to have directed extra agony to my lips and tongue.

!Affirmative. Auto-heal will now manage your healing items for maximal efficiency!

!Affirmative. AES will now manage genomic/energy pattern integration for maximal efficency!!

# 10% mana regen toggled inactive (2 toggles)

^Estimated integration time 6.2 hours. Host is advised that some minor discomfort is an unavoidable side effect. Please note that mental strengthening for optimal mind/body synergy necessitates disabling users trauma evasion subroutines labeled "Unconciousness", "Insanity", "Denial" as well as 37 others.

Enjoy your next 6.2 hours with AES, your source for the perfect you!!

I barely had time to croak out a "shit" and notice the Gods Tear tip into some square black hole covered in little boxes before reality went white and transcended into Pain.