Classroom of the Elite: Checkmate 33

Chapter 33 - Good Bishop

Hirata Yosuke was a popular person.

Questioning the 'why' was irrelevant.

He was good-looking, kind and intelligent, even if his limitless innocence stopped him from reaching his full potential. His outstanding grades and the position as a regular in the soccer team had earned him a spot as one of the most prominent and coveted first-years in the school. It wasn't surprising that many girls in our grade and beyond had considered dating him before he and Karuizawa announced their romantic relationship in April.

Their admiration for him would grow even further if the truth about their bond were to be exposed. His girlfriend would lose her reputation, the respect of her classmates and the safe space in which she had holed herself up, while Hirata's prestige would soar due to the selflessness and compassion he had displayed for a fellow schoolmate.

But why would he limit himself like this?

Our highschool life was filled with beautiful girls, 'fateful encounters' and interesting opportunities. This school's special environment granted more benefits for adolescent teenagers in their prime than a normal one ever could.

Students had their own private quarters and none of our guardians were authorized to visit the premises. Neither males nor females had to share their rooms with a second or third assigned roommate for three entire years.

What would this mean?

That it would be impossible to determine whether a certain someone was sleeping in their own bed during the night.

Sexual intercourse was fair game as long as no one got pregnant, molested or raped.

Rumours surrounding Kouenji and his many flings with the third-year women had reached Kikyou as early as April, but nobody, including the staff members who were supposed to enforce the school's rules, paid attention to this clear violation of guidelines.

Why would he give up on such an opportunity?

Hirata got nothing out of his arrangement with Karuizawa.

He never received her love in an emotional or physical sense.

They walked around holding hands and she might cling onto his arm when they were on a 'date', but there was no affection between them — no passion or pleasure he could escape into when he craved human warmth. His boundless kindness would never allow him to take advantage of a girl in such a difficult situation, no matter how appealing she was.

Chiaki should have recognized this hoax as our relationship kept developing, but some truths were harder to grasp onto than others. She knew Hirata and Karuizawa too well and never considered that they could be a fake couple. The former had a heart as vast, vivid and bright as the sun, while the latter had no apparent reason to lie.

My girlfriend wouldn't doubt their words.

Despite all this, he had been placed in Class D.

What caused his defect?

Deep down, all humans were ugly and selfish.

Trusting another individual, no matter how good-natured they might be, was difficult. You always had to ask yourself whether the outcome would benefit the person you were putting your faith into, or you would risk immediate betrayal. Men and women acted in their own best interests first before considering the circumstances and pain of others.

Hirata Yosuke was no exception.

Our classmate in tarnished armor was an indispensable existence to ensure Karuizawa Kei's survival, but he never played the boyfriend for her sake. He did so for himself, to quench his misguided savior complex — to atone for a traumatizing incident that haunted him to this day and turned him into the honorable person we became familiar with.

My queen and knight were exceptional students, just like my bishop, but all three were put in Class D because of their glaring flaws. Suzune's deficiency might have been the most obvious, but it wasn't the most severe. Hirata pushed himself for the sake of others and I wanted to know which sinister secret precipitated this shift in his behavior.

"Could we talk for a minute, Hirata?"

The distracted, hapless boy in question sat on his comfortable bed in silence and gazed at his phone with an apprehensive expression. I strolled out of the spacious bathroom, dried my damp hair after the refreshing shower I had indulged myself in, and waited for a positive response that never entered my ears.

He didn't raise his lowered head, nor did he react to my previous inquiry until a cold gust of wind surged through the opened bath window. This cozy, fresh summer breeze caused my unbuttoned, school-issued shirt to dance around my frame, which seemed to have awoken him from his inscrutable trance.

Two murky hazel-colored eyes peered into mine.

"Oh, sorry Ayanokouji-kun. I was a little distracted." A gentle, fitting smile replaced the visible unease that had slipped in a moment of inadvertent negligence. "Is here fine with you, or would you prefer to grab a bite at the cafe?"

His concern for a certain, rather attractive gyaru who had changed her attitude around him from one second to the next was distinguishable from his headaches of keeping the class unified. He was a protector, a hero who looked out for the people in his proximity, while he himself didn't want to trouble anyone with his problems. These negative emotions kept piling up and would cause issues, similar to his downward spiral in April, when Yamauchi was expelled.

Kikyou had supported him back then.

Now, in August, it was my turn.

His anxieties and the doubts he carried within him were reasonable, as Karuizawa's texts should have been more distant than usual. She was still confused, uncertain about the traitor's identity, and needed time to sort through her scrambled thoughts, while he assumed that she stopped replying due to their argument about the incident concerning Morofuji Rika.

"This shouldn't be discussed outside of our room."

"Mh, okay. I understand."

The pleasant, compassionate aura he radiated was genuine compared to Kikyou's artificial reproduction of benevolence and would have assured everybody that they could put their unconditional faith in him. Sakura was one of the few gifted people who perceived this negligible difference in their magnanimity and Karuizawa might have been in a similar position as she chose to entrust her secrets to him alone.

A hint of confusion reflected in his two orbs as I lifted Kouenji's, Yukimura's and my own mattress to check whether someone had hidden recording devices underneath them. This strange behavior suggested excessive skepticism about the privacy of this conversation, which was unusual for a student like me, who only acted on Chiaki's orders.

My sympathetic roommate wouldn't understand this unexpected conduct right now, but he was smart enough to put two and two together once we reached a crucial junction in our emergency meeting. His unsuspecting nature was similar to Ichinose's, but neither would be blind to obvious hints, no matter how gullible they were.

Sharing a cabin with those three was a blessing.

If I had been allotted into a room with Ike, I wouldn't have had the mental fortitude or the proper determination to search the area beneath his bedding, much less sleep in his vicinity. The horrendous stench I had forced myself to endure as I waited for Sudou a few days ago had been enough for two or three lifetimes.

Maybe I could have invaded Sae's quarters again?

Or slip into Chie's bed now that we had a deal?

A deep breath left my nostrils.

People were accustomed to heave a profound sigh to prepare themselves for a stressful or important conversation. This was an easy and reliable way to stimulate a human's parasympathetic nervous system to reduce — or even negate — the discomfort a person would feel during an uncomfortable situation. The large amounts of oxygen the individual had taken in during the inhalation process slowed down the subject's heart rate, which would prompt the mind to relax.

"We need to talk about Karuizawa."

"Did she say anything to you?"

Hirata's bent legs straightened in a sudden, explosive movement that launched him off the bed.

He realized how revealing his abrupt reaction had been around two seconds later and bit his lower lip in frustration. His shaky thumbs grazed along the phalangeal creases of his index finger as his quivering spheres examined mine for any indication about her well-being.

The worries he expressed were sincere.

"She told you about the Class C girls, I assume?"

I had texted him about my concerns regarding the obvious bad blood between Karuizawa and our group mates during the second meeting on the first day, which had assisted this desired outcome. He had no information about her troubles now that she decided to avoid him, but determined that he could depend on me since I had established that I cared about our vulnerable classmates as much as he did.

His erroneous judgement was reinforced by the deep relationships I had formed with Chiaki and Kikyou, who wouldn't spend their valuable time with me if I hadn't been a decent guy. My girlfriend was a kind and dependable woman who supported the class, while my queen and I were best friends, as far as our schoolmates were concerned.

Even if he doubted me, he would never distrust them.

"Yes, we met up and had a short talk. She confirmed that Manabe-san kept troubling her during the discussion periods, just like you said, and claimed that she would ignore her. I wanted to understand what was going on between them in order to help Karuizawa-san, but I failed to express my worries properly and caused her to get angry with me instead."

Unsure about my knowledge, he paused.

This was as much as he could reveal to an outsider without betraying the trust his parasite had put into him. He reiterated obvious facts I knew about or could infer and blamed himself for the argument the two of them ran into, which explained his anxious behavior. None of his words implicated his 'sweetheart', because she was the only person who was allowed to inform others about her deepest, darkest secrets.

Could I trust him with mine someday?

Or would he be repulsed by my demons?

"Manabe and a girl named Yajima dragged Karuizawa into an empty storage room to beat her up. I stopped them as soon as the situation was about to escalate, but that's not our main problem right now. She is your responsibility, so I figured that I should consult you before even considering talking to Chiaki or Kikyou about this horrible incident. Aside from the three of you, there is no one I can trust with this."

Shock and surprise colored his ashen face.

'Was this why she wouldn't reply?'

'Did she think she couldn't count on me?'

'What was I supposed to do now?'

The distraught boy clenched his throbbing fists as he speculated whether his prior actions had been a mistake. Agitation would set in, followed by self-doubts and the earnest wish to turn back time — to fix this mess before it got out of hand. This was a common human response upon learning about a situation one wanted to change or prevent.

"Not the main problem?! Did something else happen?"

"Manabe exposed her lie with a recording in which she admitted to pushing Morofuji. She was talking to another person, but they had been edited out of the conversation. The restless, forlorn expression she revealed upon hearing herself was the most anguished physical response I have ever seen. Karuizawa wasn't only hurt, but devastated to the core. Almost as if her own flesh and blood had shattered her faith in humanity."

Hirata's disgraceful figure collapsed onto the bed.

A pair of trembling, pale hands, which had turned as white as a sheet of paper, covered his mouth in disbelief. Multiple strings of quiet, incomprehensible whispers left his colorless lips while an unpleasant grimace emerged on his once charming face. He gripped his hair in heart-wrenching desperation, similar but different from back then.

My explanation, coupled with the previous examination of the room, painted a clear picture and answered why Karuizawa avoided him. The appalling conclusion he wanted to escape, but had to draw under these revealing circumstances, didn't need to be mentioned. This troublesome truth would not only affect her alone but might throw our entire class into ruin.

His subconscious mind found itself in a severe state of turmoil and mental agony, which triggered distasteful memories of the events that had created this respectable version of Hirata Yosuke. These painful disturbances forced him to grasp onto the last available straw his fingers could hold on to at this moment of susceptibility: me.

The traitor would never have acknowledged a leak.

But I did.

Even though I was Chiaki's boyfriend, I shared my worries concerning Karuizawa with him alone. I left my loyal, cherished girlfriend and my best friend in the dark to protect a classmate — to assure Hirata that not a single soul aside from her most trusted person knew about this incident, despite all the ramifications this recording carried.

"You haven't told Matsushita-san?"

"No. She is your responsibility, so you are the only one who deserves to know. Speaking about this with anyone else poses an unnecessary risk, as this knowledge would spark unrest and distrust between our classmates. There is no reason to involve Chiaki in Karuizawa's matters, since she already prepared hidden countermeasures for a potential traitor."

Anything less would have been unacceptable for him.

Hirata had no qualms about keeping certain sensitive subjects to himself as long as no third party would be harmed. My words reassured him that he wouldn't need to feel bad about leaving my girlfriend out of the loop, given that she knew about the threat and had our class handled. These circumstances, coupled with his unwavering trust in Chiaki, Kikyou and now my humble self, allowed him to concentrate on Karuizawa's well-kept secret and her happiness.

This was how everyone's friend operated.

A dejected laugh escaped his lips.

"Since when did you know?"

Instead of referring to Karuizawa as 'his girlfriend', I had called her 'his responsibility' on multiple occasions throughout our conversation, which caused him to realize that I doubted the authenticity of their bond. He also understood that we both wanted the best for our blonde-haired classmate, or I wouldn't have dropped these hints for him.

"There was no definitive point, because I wasn't sure about my conclusion until you confirmed it. Chiaki and I grew closer and more comfortable around each other as part of our progression, but this never applied to you and Karuizawa. I can't put it into words, but your whole relationship felt strange to me."

"I guess it's only natural. We just pretended, after all."

"She might have realized it as well, but we never talked about you outside of our double dates, so I'm not sure. Maybe we both thought that we should let the two of you do whatever you deemed necessary or appropriate, since it wasn't our business to interfere with. I would never have shared my suspicions with you either, if it weren't for yesterday's incident."

"This is going to sound rude, but I think that you are a little weird. You kind of creep me out, to be honest." He scratched the side of his head in embarrassment and forced a cordial smile to lift the mood. "I'm sorry if that offends you."

His words were unpleasant, but they contained no lies.

"I'm creeping you out? Why?"

"I've been watching you since the school started. The Ayanokouji-kun back then and the one in front of me right now — they are like two different people. You present yourself as more confident rather than insecure and you seem to be aware what your schoolmates are doing, despite your lack of interest in most of them. We barely knew each other, but you stuck around in the locker room because you perceived that I would beat myself up over Yamauchi-kun."

A pleasant warmth spread through my stomach.

Was this how a proud parent felt?

My wish to experience such a wonderful feeling firsthand was sincere, but I doubted that I would ever have the chance to enjoy my life to this extent. A small glimpse was all I could hope for and ought to be close enough to the real thing.

Without that man looming over me like a harbinger of misery, I could have seen myself be happy with Chiaki.

But I never deserved her love.

She was too precious of a girlfriend for a vile monster and should have never been roped into my plans. Fuka, Kikyou, Suzune, Ichinose and the others — none of them should have ever met me. I was aware of my unending cruelty and recognized how disgusting my arrangements were, but I still wanted them to live a decent life once I was gone.

Betraying someone you were supposed to love was a cardinal sin.

It was difficult and distressing to trust another person if you have been cheated on before, because the bad memories and the insufferable pain of this unexpected, hurtful infidelity would linger for eternity. Time may have been rumored to heal all wounds, but this wasn't an injustice one would recover from. The next partner and the ones thereafter could be the best, most honorable individuals in the world, but there would always be doubts due to a single dreadful experience.

Ruining her life granted me no advantages.

"Mh, I don't consider myself to be exceptionally observant. You tried to keep our class together, so it was anything but strange to assume that you would be the most troubled person if a classmate were to be expelled. My surge in confidence wasn't weird either as I found an incredible girlfriend like Chiaki, who is still far out of my league. She would be concerned if our schoolmates began to doubt her taste in guys, so I had to become better for her sake, don't you think?"

Males were simple creatures.

Our day would brighten up as soon as a girl was kind to us. If said female turned out to be cute, then we would hover on cloud nine before she finished her sentence. A few affectionate words or gestures were more than enough to boost our morale since it was rare to receive a heartfelt compliment, even as a handsome man.

"Still, you are amazing, Ayanokouji-kun."

Didn't he just say that I was creeping him out?

Is he praising me to distract from that?

That charming smile won't save you either!

"There is only one thing about this whole farce I don't understand. You threw away the chance at a highschool romance with someone who loves you and entered a pretend relationship to protect Karuizawa, a person you hadn't known before. Why would you go this far for a complete stranger when it hurts your potential happiness?"

How could another individual be more important?

Why did he care so much about other people?

The recording established that he wasn't on her side.

Hirata considered all involved parties and treated them as equals, even if one had wronged the other. This behavior was downright pathological and an inconsistency by definition. He would sacrifice himself for the greater good as long as the situation allowed it, but his parasite had steered him into a corner.

Her social standing depended on how she behaved, which left her incapable of backing down.

Karuizawa wouldn't bow in front of threats like Manabe, Shinohara or any other girl. She didn't mind clashing with Kikyou or Suzune if she ran into in a situation that forced her hand, which verified that she had committed herself to the wrong boy. My charming bishop couldn't have known that a much more suitable host had been walking by her side.

"I was a nobody until my second year of junior high."

His melancholic gaze assured me that his unexpected words were factual. Thinking of him as someone similar to me who didn't stand out left a weird taste in my mouth. This opening was so far away from everything a normal person could have assumed that it raised my interest in his past more than he realized.

"That's hard to believe."

"Well, I wouldn't say that I was invisible. I did have companions to spend my free time with. One of my oldest friends was a guy named Sugimura-kun. The two of us were in the same class for six years during our elementary education. Since we were neighbors, we used to walk to school and back home every day."

Hirata spoke as if he recalled pleasant memories.

This assumption couldn't have been any more inaccurate if one sensed the ominous undertones between each pause. His morose expression; the missing gestures and his narrow frame were telltale signs that this peaceful buildup would soon turn into a spiral of despair. The anecdote about their companionship wouldn't have a happy ending, despite his wishes.

"We were put into separate classes for the first time when we started junior high. Initially, we kept walking to school like we always did, but this happened less and less. I neglected him and our friendship as I began to hang out with my friends from the new class, but that kind of story sounds normal, I suppose."

His narration seemed to approach its inevitable turning point.

"While I had my companions, Sugimura-kun was getting bullied. He sent me multiple distress calls and showed up with cuts or bruises on his face, but I only cared about hanging out with my classmates and never answered his obvious cries for help. He was headstrong like Karuizawa-san, quick to get into even physical fights, so I didn't think about it anymore. The two of us reunited when we entered our second year, but his spirit had been demolished along the way. His bright, cheerful personality was long gone. That was a given after being punched and kicked day by day. They hounded him so much that he couldn't visit the bathroom, so he ended up having 'accidents' during class, which invited more ridicule."

I was the priest to his sinner.

But only he alone could grant himself absolution.

Hirata Yosuke was aware of this, but he never wanted to be forgiven for his actions, or lack thereof. He preferred to redeem himself — to atone for the sins he had committed towards one of his dearest friends. His entire behavior had changed to honor Sugimura and to absolve his tarnished soul from the deep-seated remorse he carried within him.

That person wouldn't have a happy end.

"During all that time, I did nothing... I couldn't. I was afraid that I would become their next target... terrified that my new, fun life would be destroyed. So I pretended not to see Sugimura-kun, my oldest friend. Instead, I came up with convenient excuses for myself. 'Someday they would stop to bully him', 'He would avoid coming to school and it would end this way' or 'Maybe someone else would step in'. Those were my spineless thoughts back then."

"But none of this ever happened?"

The boy shook his head with clenched fists.

"One day after morning practice, I returned to the classroom. My legs stopped in front of the door as I saw him with a red, swollen cheek. To be honest, I felt uncomfortable and waited a bit before going in. We had been friends for so long when we were little, but at that moment, I just hoped that he would leave the room. Nobody wanted to get involved with him in fear of getting bullied as well, so he couldn't lean on anyone. Sugimura-kun must have seen how ugly my heart was. That day..." Hirata clutched his chest as sorrow flashed over his face. "... he jumped out of the window."

"He did what?!"

My surprise and shock weren't conveyed as I wasn't accustomed to such high-level operations yet. Kikyou and I only practiced smiling and similar gestures that would guarantee advantages when dealing with the female population. The current me was unable to bring these mournful sentiments to life, but my acting was enough for a distracted classmate.

In truth, I felt indifferent upon hearing his laments.

Hirata's pain was understandable.

I could also comprehend the suffering and anger the boy's parents must have gone through after they received such a dreadful call, but their misfortune had nothing to do with me. His friend was just one of the 128 people who died every minute. He was a small, insignificant drop in the ocean, similar to the remaining 183.670 deaths each day.

None of us were special — our time was limited.

Quite a twisted impression, fitting for a monster.

"Sugimura-kun was declared brain dead. Even now, his parents believe that he will recover. They are waiting for him to wake up and to smile at them once more. This day was so surreal that I still wonder whether I was hallucinating. When he jumped, I realized something important: focusing on my own selfish desires drove a treasured friend to his death." He glanced at me, as if he was probing my reaction. "I don't think he can be saved, but I wanted to atone. The only way for me to do so is to help others who struggle with their own problems."

My roommate wouldn't accept my sympathies.

The boy who sold out his companion to secure his own safety, repented for his past, looked into the future and vowed to protect the ones who couldn't defend themselves to deal with the guilt in his aching heart. He was determined to change the fate of all the wretched souls he could find to feel better about his insensitive conduct in middle school.

Hirata deserved a second chance.

"Thank you for sharing such a painful memory with me. My ears might not have been much consolation, but I hope that I could lift a small burden off your shoulders by listening to your regrets. Similar to Karuizawa, I'm also indebted to you for reaching out to me back in April. Without your invitation, I would have never become acquainted with Chiaki and the other girls. I'm not as capable as my brilliant girlfriend, but I will support you if you ever need help. Saving both of them is difficult, but I may have a suggestion to perform such a feat."

His hazel-colored eyes widened.

"What? Are you sure?"

"I think that I owe it to you to try my best. It's something I've learned from Chiaki, but it can only work with Kikyou on board. She will cooperate, even if she isn't aware of the whole story, so I just need you to do one small task for me."

"Matsushita-san, you say..?"

This sceptical comment was all I received.

He would never discount her capabilities, but he knew how she dealt with students that were not part of our class. The three expulsions in June still occupied his mind because Hirata wouldn't have pulled the trigger in her stead. Our messiah bemoaned their premature departure and his inability to protect them from her wrath.

"I promise that no one will be inconvenienced."

"If everyone can be saved, I'll do anything."

Our conversation assured him that he could entrust me with Karuizawa Kei's well-being without endangering her secrets. Chiaki's name convinced Hirata of the plan's success due to the miracles she had produced so far, while Kikyou's presence in this arrangement eased his worries about the other students. A veritable angel like her would only agree to a proposal if it was performed with everyone's best interests in mind, after all.

One day, even I would need saving.

So I couldn't help but wonder about his decision.

If Hirata saw me — looked at Ayanokouji Kiyotaka...

Would he still sacrifice himself?

Could he give his own life to save a monster?

I found myself on the lowest level of this colossal luxury cruiser after yet another round of amiable card games with my friends concluded. This part of the ship was void of people, as even the engineers would only visit this isolated sector once a day in compliance with the safety regulations they had received prior to our departure.

Confirmation of this claim was an abundance of dust particles that had accumulated on every single button, aside from the light switch. The many glass panels from which the technicians needed to determine precise values had also been cleaned, unlike the equipment and instruments that were scattered throughout this soundproof engine room.

No one would rescue Karuizawa if she suffered in here.

Her prison had three distinct pathways.

Two of these highlighted exits preceded dimmed corridors with an illuminated staircase towards the upper deck at the end, while the remaining option led deeper into the ship's roaring core. Around a dozen machines, hundreds of warm valves and a few loud engine-like contraptions provided ample cover to listen and prepare the stage for the following act.

The phone's display lit up as I tapped the power button.

Cell services were unavailable due to the various electronics that interfered with wireless connections and the accessible frequency bands. The ability to make and or receive calls as well as messages was further impaired by the massive metallic walls, which prevented direct communication with the cellular network.

All attempts to contact another student ended in failure.

This final experiment concluded my preliminary investigation of the area. I re-examined my arrangements and stashed the black duffle bag out of sight near one of my potential hiding places next to the toolbox I had found in an adjacent cabin. My feet carried me up the flight of stairs and out of the dead zone, where I received the notification I had been waiting for.

[Anonymous] 4 PM.

Ample time for the final preparations...

Sotomura, Kikyou and Chie had their respective tasks to accomplish until then, but I had faith in their ability to supply me with the materials and the freedom I needed to take care of my itinerary. Karuizawa herself played an essential role in my upcoming plans, and she alone would decide whether or how much she had to endure after they were done with her.

Now, only two people were left unattended.

[02:19:15 PM] Hey, you got a minute?

My short text message was accompanied by the scathing audio recording I had supplied her with yesterday. Manabe and I were the only students who owned a copy of Karuizawa's admission of guilt and her following disregard of Morofuji and the poor girl's feelings, which confirmed that this unfamiliar anonymous token belonged to her previous benefactor.

She wouldn't leave me on 'read', right?

[02:19:29 PM][Manabe] It's you again! Who are you?

[02:19:41 PM] Is someone with you?

[02:19:49 PM][Manabe] No, why?

[02:20:12 PM] Do you want some alone time with Karuizawa?

[02:20:23 PM][Manabe] What are you on about?

[02:20:34 PM] You could talk with her... undisturbed.

[02:20:53 PM][Manabe] Why are you doing this?

[02:21:18 PM] Let's just say that I understand how Morofuji-san feels. I believe that she and I are owed an apology for the things that bitch did to us. We don't know each other, but I dislike her obnoxious attitude as much as you do.

[02:21:42 PM][Manabe] I'm inclined to trust you. That recording you sent me was quite effective when I had a chat with her, but what if this whole thing is a trap? I can't rule out the possibility that you might betray me.

[02:21:59 PM] Go to the teachers and sell me out if you suspect that I am deceiving you. All I want is justice for myself and Morofuji-san. Do you think that she was the only girl who got pushed around by Karuizawa? She and her rotten faction humiliated me more than once, and none of them felt guilty. Someone has to hand out a harsh reality check, or she will keep harassing people like me and your friend, because she thinks of herself as soo much prettier and better than others.

I made my case and followed up with a map.

[02:22:17 PM] This is the layout of the lowest level. The walls are thick, it's noisy due to the machines and impossible to get reception with your phone. Not even staff members wander around on this deck during the day, so you will have more than enough time and space to talk things out with her.

Manabe understood why I handed her all of this and what I wanted her to do when I spoke about justice for her classmate and me. She assumed that I was the same as her friend — unable to defend myself against Class D's queen bee.

This new partner in crime was easy to manipulate.

My word usage had informed her that I hated Karuizawa, despite my otherwise respectful nature. It also betrayed my true thoughts — taught her that I wanted this for my sake, while Morofuji Rika was only needed to force them into action. I was polite, but blinded by rage, which she could identify with.

Her pride had cracked just yesterday when Machida chose my classmate over her, even though they had already made plans. She never cared about him, but she was furious with his superficial decision making. Mentioning that Karuizawa considered herself to be more attractive than others caused the last strings of reason in her to snap.

[02:22:42 PM][Manabe] Okay. When?

[02:22:51 PM] 4 PM.

With this arrangement in mind, I walked back to the room where they had attacked my parasite to meet a certain someone. My shoes touched the second deck as I received yet another message from a girl in this phone's contact list.

[02:29:52 PM][Honami-chan] Sensei, please refrain from the available alcoholic drinks before our massage appointment at four! Just in case you can't remember, they kicked us out the last time because you kept fondling the poor masseuse.

Chie did what..?

She couldn't have been drunk...

But why leave like this?

I scanned through her message history with Ichinose and confirmed their previous date to have been yesterday, prior to our first discussion period, at around 11 AM. Aside from her adorable figurehead, she hadn't been in contact with anyone else during that timeframe, which meant that she could have deleted the chatlog and handed me her phone afterwards.

Had she noticed what I've done?

[02:30:31 PM] Ah, of course Honami-chan~ don't worry!

[02:30:37 PM] Let's relax thoroughly today! Yaaay!

"Ahh... Mh... Yes... that's the spot. Nghhh-ah."

"Mhhh..."

Hoshinomiya-sensei's disproportionate moans reverberated through the cabin and mixed with the low, relaxed humming sounds that fled my own lips. All the exhaustion and fatigue that had built up over the last few days was blown away by our masseuses whose warm hands kept kneading our rigid shoulders as well as the stiff neck area.

The foggy but comfortable interior around us was generated by a couple of hot water basins to our left and right, which heated the black stones that were being placed on our exposed bodies. Only our private parts were covered by a short, white towel, as a bigger one would have prevented the flat volcanic rocks from unfolding their invigorating warmth.

According to her reactions, she had been rather tense.

Her mature frame squirmed in relaxation when the female massage therapist planted the last stone along her spine, which seemed to have worked wonders for her overall satisfaction. My weary eyelids grew heavier as the enjoyable heat that had warmed my bare feet dissipated into the surroundings.

The woman's delicate, soft hands caressed over my soles in circular movements to release the physical tension and the mental stress that kept burdening my drained soul. Multiple weak but pleasant vibrations rippled through my exhausted body as her nimble fingers tapped on my toes and so-called 'trigger points' on the underside of my foot.

"So, what do you think, Honami-chan?"

"This beats the shiatsu massage we had before the island exam for sure." A beaming smile flashed over my trembling lips. "I would have asked you yesterday if we hadn't been kicked out, but is it really okay for us to meet up like this during such an important examination?"

"You don't need to worry about a thing."

My curiosity about her attitude remained unchanged, as she was reluctant to elaborate on her thoughts. The school must have arranged certain methods to check whether a teacher had been helping their students, but I couldn't think of a way to accomplish such a feat without cameras or microphones on the whole ship, which was neither practical nor reasonable.

Pursuing this line of thought was a waste of time.

Ayanokouji-kun had mentioned that Chabashira-sensei would be investigated because of their sudden ascent. This single conclusion was enough evidence to assure me that no school-issued surveillance gear had been installed on the cruiser.

How else could they provide fairness?

The class competition wouldn't be a game of wits, intelligence and ingenuity, but a troublesome hide-and-seek between our instructors and the staff members who had to interrogate them if they had supported us with the hidden rules on the island or the solution to solve the current zodiac exam.

We students couldn't grow due to the disparity.

But wasn't Ayanokouji-kun a cause as well?

He was too smart and destroyed the balance.

I might have learned about him and his movements in the background, but I couldn't ascertain how he had managed to keep all the points during our previous assessment. All the scenarios I came up with had flaws or uncertainties, which he would never have discounted in consideration to the 'agreement' he made with Chabashira-sensei. The details were still unknown to me, but he seemed to have guaranteed her a spot in Class A, according to the flow of their conversation.

What am I doing?

Massages are for relaxation!

My wish to unwind for a moment — to forget about the things that kept me awake, hadn't been granted, however. It was impossible to neglect his distant gaze and the sleepless nights he had already caused. When I wasn't trying to understand his countless schemes, I pondered about him — us — and where this new awareness left our relationship.

It could never go back to how it had been.

No matter how much I hoped for this to happen.

The feelings in my disturbed heart hadn't changed, but my perception regarding his activities had matured. This 'unusual' Ayanokouji-kun scared me to a degree that provoked dreams and nightmares if I managed to fall asleep. They always started out the same with the two of us sitting on a snow-covered wooden bench outside in an unfamiliar park-like area.

We talk for a while until my body begins to freeze. I rub my shoulders — warm myself up through the jacket — in order to spend just one more minute with him and his mesmerizing golden eyes. The moon's luminous appearance reflects in his fascinating orbs as he stands up and unbuttons his own coat to offer me an additional layer.

My lips move, refuse his kindness.

Yet, despite my vehement complaints, the dream continues like this, with me cloaked in two warm, protective layers and him next to me. I'm happy, no — overjoyed that he wants us to stay together longer, but also troubled about his health as the snow begins to gather on his sweatshirt. His fingers pale as time passes, but he isn't concerned about himself.

He comments on my reddish nose, and I hide this embarrassment with my gloves. His freezing hands reach out to mine and he pulls them away, deep into his own warm embrace. We gaze at each other in silence. He tilts his head, and I snicker.

A moment later, our icy lips meet.

I would never support him being unfaithful towards his girlfriend, so he couldn't have been in a relationship as this scene took place. The wonderful emotions that blossomed in my chest were confirmation that I hadn't betrayed my own values. My mind might have just tried to process my affections for him, but I was relieved that I didn't cheat, even in my dreams.

This pleasant fantasy went on and morphed into a nightmare.

His glistening, brilliant orbs turn into terrifying yellow spheres after our kiss. He stands up and I follow, surprised by his sudden change in demeanor. I take a step back, alarmed by his malevolent bearing, but his movements are so much faster. His hand, as arctic as his callous glare, reaches for my arm and darkness descends onto me.

Two times had I woken up with a racing heart, gasping for air.

My gaze moved to our instructor.

Once again, her words echoed through my mind.

She had realized that Ayanokouji-kun lied to me, that he had used our class to his advantage by exploiting our hospitality. Her warning hadn't been subtle or difficult to understand because she knew that I would never have thought of him as someone who wanted to double-cross or harm us.

Would the outcome have changed if I had listened?

"Um, Hoshinomiya-sensei?"

"Mhhh? What is it, Honami-chan?"

"About Ayanokouji-kun..."

I trailed off, unable to find the right words.

It was dangerous to inform her about anything I had learned since she would conclude that he was our 'enemy'. Her initial warning could still just have been an assumption that was framed as a judgement to force me into action. If I asked her about him now, he would enter her radar for certain.

This was a mistake.

To keep everyone safe, I had to express my beliefs the same way the previous Honami would. 'I don't think he's a bad person, but he was manipulated by Matsushita-san,' or something along those lines. Blaming his girlfriend was the only means to protect him from our instructor's antics as long as she deemed me reliable enough to trust my judgement.

"Ah, that. Sorry for the panic I must have caused you, Honami-chan. I guess I was mistaken about him." She turned towards me with a radiant smile. "But you figured this out already, didn't you? As expected of my favorite student!"

A relieved sigh escaped my lips.

Hoshinomiya-sensei had been uncertain about her own conclusions, otherwise she wouldn't have accepted my words without telling me to keep our past conversation in mind just in case he appeared to be a threat. If I had been the 'me' from two days ago, I would have ignored my doubts, stopped worrying and enjoyed the massage from hereon out.

But this was wrong...

Our instructor would never have backed down this soon after she kept insisting that Ayanokouji-kun wasn't trustworthy. Her perspective was broader than Kanzaki-kun's, our classmates and mine, since she didn't have a close relationship with him like we did. There had to be a reason for this sudden change in behavior.

Was all of this just my imagination?

Could I be reading too much into this?

No — I couldn't discount the possibility.

He made a deal with Chabashira-sensei as well.

What if he brokered one with our teacher?

But what could he help us with?

The only potential scenario I could think of was him joining our class.

If she was this confident in her assumption that he deceived me and my classmates even before the island, then she must have realized that nobody could beat him in a competition after he demonstrated his capabilities. Hoshinomiya-sensei wanted us to improve our ranking, just like the other homeroom teachers who didn't know about him yet.

Securing Ayanokouji-kun now would be a shortcut.

Was it wrong to be happy about such a possibility?

Stop it, Honami! Don't jump to conclusions.

I'm lacking information...

Why would he need her?

He already claimed his seat at the top of this school's hierarchy and had Chabashira-sensei on his side. An arrangement between him and our instructor would endanger his agreement with her. Ayanokouji-kun wasn't someone who would expose himself to such a risk. Overlooking a small crease in the carpet was one thing, but he would never be this careless.

Of course...

Their deal wouldn't need to be anything substantial.

Back then, he had even asked me about Hoshinomiya-sensei's behavior, so he knew that he had entered her radar. This could be the reason he hadn't betrayed us near the end of the island exam and poisoned Chihiro-chan. He showed our instructor that he wasn't unwilling to support our class and that he could have crushed all our efforts at any moment.

Giving me the remaining VIPs in this test would be a small favor.

But what would she need to do?

No, don't tell me...

I peered at our teacher, who hummed in delight.

Could Karuizawa-san be in danger?

Deep, heavy noises echoed through the dim deck.

These sounds were signs that this massive cruiser had changed its course, or that we had bumped into one of the aquatic animals that roamed the sea. I admit, the second possibility was rather low due to the slow speed of our vessel, the many staff members who observed the vast ocean and the lack of impact, but the probability wasn't zero.

A lone girl entered as the commotion subsided.

She strolled into this perilous area with such a lax attitude that a stranger might have assumed that she owned this whole ship. If one listened closely, it was possible to pick up on rather sinister reverberations that sounded like helpless wails of a lost soul that had been trapped in this iron prison and struggled to gain attention. Karuizawa Kei, the woman of the hour, disregarded the hidden dangers this ominous meeting place exuded and pulled out her phone.

"What's going on? No signal? Are you kidding me?"

The time was 03:51 PM.

Our classmate, who must have arrived earlier than scheduled to calm herself, became discontent as soon as she realized that her beloved mobile device was of no use to her down here. She heaved a profound sigh, slid the useless paperweight into her blazer's pocket and leaned against the cold steel wall.

It was a shame that her stylish outfit was smeared by all the dust and grime.

I wasn't as fashion savvy as my girlfriend, but I appreciated that Karuizawa looked quite trendy, even in a dull school uniform. Girls like her took great pride in their physical appearance and tried to stand out from the rest. Our gyaru achieved this by wrapping her blazer around her slim waist, which provided her with a solid foundation to build upon.

Machida's decision to choose her over Manabe was reasonable.

"Why would he want to meet in such a dubious place, anyway?" A frown crept up her face as she glanced at the dirtied wall beside her. "Ahh, mou!" She turned, raised her left arm to head level in surprise and dusted off her backside. "Huuuh, it's fine. I can trust Hirata-kun. He would never have recorded our conversation..."

Karuizawa was convinced of his innocence.

A suitable parasite needed to depend on their host, but she was a little too defenseless around her false boyfriend. Her alarm bells should have roared the moment he had asked her to meet up in such a remote area. Our guardian angel might have been indifferent to her beauty, but a pretty woman like her should never trust someone to this degree.

The clock struck 4 PM, and the door opened.

Manabe Shiho strolled into the engine room, followed by Yajima Mariko and the girl who created this golden opportunity for me: Morofuji Rika. The pacifying behavior the latter exhibited indicated that she wasn't too happy with the current situation. She stole multiple worried glances at her friends while they encouraged her to stand up against her 'oppressor'.

My first impression matched Kikyou's distorted description rather well.

'She's like the bitch with cow-milkers, without the standout feature.'

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

A sharp tremor coursed through my body.

Hirata-kun... abandoned me..?

The colorful image of the considerate, kindhearted boy I had opened up to at the beginning of our year shattered into a thousand faded pieces. My judgement call to disclose my embarrassing past had been a mistake, one I could never take back. I decided to put my trust in the wrong person and was discarded like a used, filthy rag — thrown off and stomped on as if I was nothing but a sickening worm that caused discomfort just by existing.

Our last talk had been less than pleasant, but I could have never expected that he would leave me to fend for myself after everything I have been through. Hirata-kun hadn't rejected my request nor had he pitied me for my shameful appearance in middle school. He acknowledged my story at face value and agreed to become my fake boyfriend to protect me.

But this had changed...

Why..?

Had I been too complacent?

What should I do now?

Where could I go from here?

"Me? Nothing. I just saw you walk down here, but I guess this is the perfect opportunity." Manabe's visage contorted as she grabbed the girl I had pushed. "Let me introduce you. This is Rika. You remember her, don't you, Karuizawa?"

I averted my gaze, similar to Morofuji.

She seemed to recognize me — remembered the day I had shoved her aside. This wasn't strange. I knew how she felt due to my own experiences. You'd always relive the scene, reflect on those cold, ridiculing eyes that looked down on you. No matter how tough of a front you tried to put up, your heart would waver, quiver in fear of that person's presence.

It was an instinct, impossible to overcome.

The question would never be 'What if she punched me again', but 'When would she punch me again'. This single concern — this enormous burden — would follow you to school, the restroom, back home, and even your warm, comfortable bed during the night. Any distraction I found only lasted for so long before the anxieties broke through the dam and crushed my pitiful psyche. Each passing second tripled the chance that my tormentors grew bored and would appear to torture me with a newfound concept that eclipsed the previous ones in cruelty.

One push alone could cause such devastation.

"Apologize to Rika."

Her demand had never changed.

'If I listened, they might not be too hard on me', was what I would have thought if I hadn't been through the ringer in junior high. None of my actions would change their perception of me. I knew this better than anyone. Morofuji would want to back out once I announced my regret, but Manabe and Yajima would continue where they left off.

All I could do was to stay strong.

"H-huh?" The courage I sought to demonstrate faltered as soon as I opened my mouth. "She's a total klutz, so why would I apologize? I've done nothing wrong. She should be remorseful for standing in the way without moving."

"Tch, you're a real piece of work, aren't you?"

Manabe reached for my collar and yanked my body forward.

Her eyes gleamed with the same peculiar glint as yesterday, similar to the expressions of contempt and mockery I had seen on countless occasions during my middle school days. Yajima stood to her left, held a phone and filmed the dispute.

I couldn't reveal any weaknesses, no matter what.

This time, I wouldn't go down without a fight.

"But I think I understand now."

"What are you talking about, huh?"

I had to stay strong — show those three nuisances that Karuizawa Kei would never let herself be pushed around by the likes of them. The mental episode I had fallen into because of my trauma would complicate this, but I could still convince her that I wasn't one of the girls she wanted to mess with. I had to endure this ordeal without breaking apart.

Just this once.

As long as I could hide my past, I would —

"Your behavior. The fear and panic you exhibited yesterday was quite unusual. It made me wonder, you know? Your body shut off and collapsed when I pushed you, and you even began to hyperventilate from the stress." Her hateful sneer widened and turned into a crescent moon as she peered into my quivering spheres. "You were bullied, weren't you?"

Dread slithered along my crippled core.

"N-no! You're wrong."

Karuizawa denied her claim.

The pathetic stutters that left her trembling lips were weak, pitiful and displeasing. She had refuted this truth — revolted against her fragile heart and the terrors that lived rent-free in the darkest corners of her fractured mind — but there was no escape. This proud, haughty gyaru that led Class D's girls was still the same miserable insect that had been harassed.

They should have seen the glimmer of trepidation.

Manabe wasn't perceptive enough to infer details about her past with these clues alone and only managed to grasp what my classmate had gone through with the help of a second recording. Her hurtful words and yesterday's beating stemmed from spite, deep-rooted envy and a personal grudge, even though she had started this crusade for Morofuji's sake.

Society would disagree, but I couldn't fault her.

Neither morals, ethics, principles nor social standards would stop me from achieving my goal once I had set my sight on something. It would be hypocritical if I were to judge Manabe's behavior as anything less than acceptable. She didn't mind sullying her hands as long as her friend could overcome her fears, which deserved praise.

The outcome was all that mattered.

Hurting Karuizawa to achieve this was just a bonus.

"If you get down on your knees and beg right now, I might forgive you for this transgression. How about it?" The poor traumatized teenager recognized the mocking tone and bit her lip. "I mean, you're good at groveling, aren't you?"

The Class C girl taunted her with a rather vulgar gesture.

"N-no! I won't! I've never done that kind of thing before!"

Her apparent lack of experience didn't inhibit Karuizawa's ability to understand what Manabe hinted at, which was quite remarkable. Without my loving girlfriend, I wouldn't have been able to classify these movements and might not have realized what she insinuated. This confirmed once again how much I still had to learn.

Sensing a chance to escape, Karuizawa sprung into action.

She pushed Yajima aside and tried to slip out of their encirclement by using the surroundings to her advantage. This strategy could have worked — if Manabe hadn't been as quick to react. A hand flashed forward and clutched onto the blonde, well-maintained ponytail that swung left and right as she raced past them. My classmate's troubled expression was followed by a low yelp as she was yanked back and slammed into the wall.

"Ow, it hurts! Let me go!"

My desperate screams intensified.

I was familiar with this kind of treatment — used to the stinging, burning or pounding sensations that would follow and were about to violate my frail body. Even now, I couldn't stop the agonizing cries that escaped my shuddering lips due to the harrowing memories her actions dug up. Manabe's weak blows were pitiful compared to the horrors I had endured in this twisted, yet intimate relationship between me and my endless misfortune, but they weren't ineffective.

Neither she nor her slaps were problematic on their own.

The two agitated Class C students laughed in delight as my arms flailed through the air. I struggled, fought and resisted her physical assault — tried to cope with the mental agony that clawed its way into the cracks of my shattered psyche — but I couldn't escape the misery, the anguish and the disgusting past I had worked so hard to bury.

Their amused smiles morphed into cruel sneers.

Almost as if my retaliation was a joke to them.

As if they weren't dealing with a human being.

Just like back then...

"Ahh, Karuizawa!"

Unsuspecting, naïve and stupid as I had been, I spun around after a pleasant female voice reached my ears. This natural, amiable reaction was met with a black sports shoe that buried itself deep inside the pit of my empty stomach. Discolored saliva and a handful of yellow-ish bile oozed out of my mouth due to this sudden impact.

I choked and gasped for air to stay responsive.

An unbearable, sharp pain spread through my torso, which caused my trembling legs to succumb to the weight. Trapped in my own paralyzed body, I watched myself collapse — felt my knees give in before they scraped over the cold, lifeless floor. I clenched my throbbing belly, bent over to deal with the sudden nausea and glared at my callous assailant, whose features were partially obstructed by my wastewater soaked hair.

Stand up Kei...

Move...

Please...

"Smile punchy!"

Another deafening slap traveled along the white concrete walls of the school's deserted corridor as a second girl planted her flat palm on my contorted face. My blurred, tear-filled vision caught sight of a silver phone and the fuzzy contours of four towering presences that kept looking down on me with scorn and derision. Their boisterous, cocky laughs shook the windows with each hit that smashed into my defenseless, convulsing body.

It hurts so much...

I flinched and began to sob from the unbearable pain that coursed through my frame. The dizziness and the sick feeling in my stomach worsened with every torturous impact I had to withstand. My chapped mouth felt parched and sore from all the screaming, despite the vast amounts of saliva that kept trickling out of the corners.

Why does it always have to be me?

This was the level of torture I had to endure around the clock.

For them, I was nothing more than a pastime — an affordable punching bag to vent their pent-up frustration. The small circle that tormented me at first had expanded into the better part of my class and even included a few other schoolmates in our grade. Together, they had found an easy answer for all of their problems:

Just bully Kei!

You are bored during your break and don't know what to do?

Treat her like a dog and let her eat garbage from the ground.

The teacher gave you a bad score on the latest exam?

Beat her until she cries and sobs to lift your spirits.

Your long-time crush rejected your confession?

Spill sewage over her to forget about it.

The 'hilarious video' they recorded right now would soon be shared among their acquaintances. My suffering was once again about to be viewed by everyone who was curious and appreciated my misery. There was little I could do — nothing I hadn't tried yet, because they already knew that they didn't need to fear retaliation when they punched or kicked me.

Struggling against their antics was a losing battle.

"Hey! Do something, would ya?" Her wicked leg vanished inside my midsection multiple times until a sickening yellow liquid sloshed past my lips. "Urgh, you disgusting piece of shit. Look what you did." She raised her foot and drove the stained shoe into my mouth with a repulsed expression. "The least you could do is lick them clean, you damn slut."

Kurihara smeared the warm mucus over my face.

"Please stop it!"

"Those are your stomach contents, so suck them up."

A putrid stench permeated my nose as multiple drops of bile dribbled along my neck and seeped into the soiled uniform or my underwear, depending on which way it trickled down my torso. I pulled away in disgust and tried to escape the repulsive taste of the loafers she kept pressing against my sealed lips.

My tired feet, which had answered my desperate pleas, regained their maneuverability and shuffled up, ready to leave this encirclement. I pushed one of them out of the way, ignored the pulsating cramps in my stomach and ran — until a cold, ruthless palm reached out for my ponytail. This pitiful attempt to flee ended with a loud shriek that was accompanied by an intense jolt of pain as my back crashed into the ground.

"Let go! It hurts!"

"Look! She's wriggling like a worm."

Vile vermin — that's all I am.

The strength of their punches, slaps and kicks increased with the volume of their roaring, delighted laughter. I covered my head to protect myself and dragged my sore excuse of a body away from the hallway, closer to an exit that might support my next escape. Similar to a loathsome, slimy insect that had minded its business, I crawled over the dirty floor, wriggled through my own ejections and hoped that the 'humans' would leave me alone.

"That should be enough to soften her up."

"Yeah. Time to clean the loafers now."

"Agreed."

"What? Nooo! Stop it!"

Their blockade broke apart as two of the four girls circled around my left and right. The pair clutched onto my arms and yanked them away before the third one grabbed my hair. She pushed my head down and forced me forward, closer to the nasty shoes of my fourth tormentor who glared at me with a sneer.

"Lick it."

""Yeah! Lick it! Lick it!""

"Never! I won't bow down to the likes of you."

This listless denial was all I could force through my clenched teeth.

"Hah? You damn arrogant bitch. Do you still think that you are better than us, Karuizawa?" She smacked my cheek, which recoiled to its natural position because of her friend's steady grasp. "Okay then... here's a special onetime offer for a worm like you. If you apologize and beg to clean my shoe with a submissive look on your face, then we'll leave you alone for the rest of the week. Quite an enticing suggestion, isn't it?"

Kurihara shifted her foot back and forth.

Three days of peace would be nice, I suppose...

"Didn't I answer your question just a few seconds ago? I will never give in to your pathetic harassment attempts. Clean your greasy ears if you have trouble hearing, or maybe visit a doctor to fix that pea-sized brain of yours."

Her face contorted as I forced a pained grin.

I won't bow down, ever.

"Now you've done it!"

The angered girl, wearing a pair of fetid, bile stained loafers, stood and swung one of her legs backwards. Their ridiculing remarks and annoying giggles had vanished — replaced by utter silence — as the group stared at me with nothing but unadulterated contempt. Her three friends held me down, restricted my movements as well as any chance of escape and forced me to receive this incoming punishment head-on.

This is going to hurt...

"Hey! A teacher's coming, let's bounce."

Shigeto, an unexpected but panicking fifth accomplice, jumped off the flight of stairs behind us and dashed away with a momentum fitting for someone in the track and field club. Kurihara paused her kick midair and clicked her tongue in visible frustration before the group of four dispersed.

Someone's looking out for me today, huh?

How lucky...

Every muscle and bone in my battered body burned and cracked as I heaved myself up. I tried to open the door to an adjacent room, but my fingers were so weak and numb that I couldn't grasp onto the handle. The shallow sound of my heavy breaths lessened as I leaned against the frame and covered the wounds on my hands with the sleeves of my blazer.

Phew... calm down, Kei.

Relax.

You are safe — they are gone.

I mopped the last tear streak off my face just in time.

"Karuizawa? What happened to your leg?"

An embarrassed smile surfaced on my lips as Karashimada-sensei stepped off the stairs and acknowledged the injury near my knee. The bright red blood hadn't dried yet and slid down towards my white socks in a vague zigzag pattern. I bent over, wiped the evidence away and scratched along the bloody wound with a surprised expression.

"Oh, that... I fell. I'm a huge klutz sometimes..."

My worn-out legs felt as if they had been shattered.

They trembled, stung and bled, but I pushed through the agony and stood straight. He corrected his rather thick glasses and assessed my injury while I kept biting down on a small pebble that must have stuck underneath one of their shoes, which came loose and found its way into my mouth when I got kicked.

Stop gawking and leave...

Please...

The beatings I had to endure would only get worse if I informed an adult or explained my situation to the uninvolved. All I could do was hide, survive and bottle up the bitterness until this ordeal ended. I was used to their cruel jokes by now and stopped caring about the lingering sadness that accompanied me wherever I went.

"It doesn't look too bad, but you should visit the nurse."

"Yes, of course... I was just on my way."

Our bespectacled teacher nodded and strode along the hallway.

Some might call him negligent or inattentive for not picking up on the faint traces of vomit on the ground. Maybe he was irresponsible for not asking about the many pulsating bruises on my face, or he didn't care enough to waste his time with an 'insect' like me. His ignorance, albeit cruel, was beneficial because it would safeguard my survival in this damned place.

Karashimada-sensei's figure vanished upon reaching another flight of stairs at the end of the corridor, which led to a different part of the complex. The sounds of his old worn-out shoes soon faded behind a doorway on the first floor.

Silence descended onto the area.

The pressure that weighed on my exhausted body increased once my heartbeat returned to a normal level. Powerlessness spread along my veins as my fatigued limbs began to tremble from the burden they had to suffer through. All I wished for at that moment was a deep, relaxing slumber and to wake up from this horrible nightmare I was trapped in.

Tears poured down my reddened, throbbing face.

"Why does it still hurt so much?"

I leaned against the door with all my weight to push it open and stumbled into the empty classroom. Two metallic objects collided as I knocked over a nearby chair, which crashed into the legs of an adjacent table. A surge of pain traveled through my whole body before I found myself sprawled out on the ground, unable to lift a finger.

Please move...

Just a little further...

No one can see me like this...

Despite these wishes, my movements ceased.

This rather unpleasant memory was interrupted as I felt a wet sensation on top of my eyelids. A pained shriek escaped my searing lungs as someone drove their knee into my stomach with no semblance of remorse. That person grabbed onto my hair and slammed me into the copper-colored valves to my left until I lost count of the number of impacts.

Right...

I'm still in that lousy engine room...

Who would have thought that I'd end up like this again?

Being spat on and beaten in some dark corner...

At least it was just saliva this time...

"Argh!"

Neither Karuizawa Kei's harrowing shouts nor her miserable expression stopped Manabe's ferocious onslaught. Her initial awkward movements became less sluggish and grew more refined, which suggested that this had been the first time she inflicted significant pain on another human being.

The force she could exert wouldn't be too much due to her slim build, but the impacts should still be uncomfortable for an untrained receiver. My panting classmate recalled her horrible past and relived the shameful memories she had tried so hard to forget. She recognized that this painful trauma would never leave her side — perceived that her fractured psyche cracked and splintered further apart with each vicious strike that rekindled those abhorrent mementos — but she couldn't stop the waves of agony that kept washing over her as if she had found herself in her very own purgatory.

"Woah, Shiho. Don't you think you're hitting her a little too much?"

Two mocking laughs drowned the wails of my suffering bishop while our third visitor took a small step back, overwhelmed and distressed by their cruel actions. Manabe noticed her friend's hesitation and turned around with an encouraging smile.

"Come on Rika. Try slapping her."

"N-no, I'm okay."

This exchange was bound to happen.

She appeared to have been scarred by my overbearing classmate, whereupon her companions chose to exact revenge in her stead. Morofuji still hesitated, because she wouldn't resort to violence under normal circumstances. Seeing the hatred in Manabe's eyes — observing her close friend as she put more weight into her punches — startled her to a degree that wasn't comparable with the unnecessary anxiety she felt in front of Karuizawa.

She was meek and susceptible — easy to coerce.

"We are doing this for your sake, Rika." A hint of dissatisfaction surfaced in her irritated voice. "She wronged you, didn't she? This is your chance to get payback for what she did to you. Don't worry, nobody is around. Trust me."

Refusal wasn't an option.

Contrary to Yajima, she didn't know that Manabe had her own misgivings. Her intentions might have been honorable at the beginning of this drama, but they distorted into a selfish need for retribution caused by a rejection that was based on physical appearance alone. Machida dared to choose Karuizawa when he was forced to decide between the two of them.

What would she have felt at that moment?

Scorned, insignificant, and envious.

Her pride as a woman had been crushed, just like that.

This simple choice resulted in an unending torrent of bitterness that began to course through her mind, which Morofuji interpreted as anger towards her for not joining them in their quest. The darkened orbs of her companion quivered in enmity and she assumed that she might be the next person to incur her wrath if she kept refusing Manabe's invitation.

"O-okay. I'll try."

A flat palm connected with Karuizawa's cheek.

The awaited sound never reached my ears.

"L-like that?"

She seemed proud of her pathetic display while her friend glanced at her with a disappointed expression. Neither of them had prior experience in hurting someone, but Morofuji's slap was so pitiful that I hadn't even heard the impact.

Could Manabe change her timid nature?

"No, no. That's not good at all. You need to put more force into it. Stand right here..." She grabbed Morofuji by the shoulders and placed her in front of their victim. "Now, move your whole body to smack her. Like this."

Her next blow was so deafening that it drowned most of the remaining sounds. Karuizawa winced and screamed in pain, confirming that her hit had been much more effective than the previous one. Manabe peered at her partner and extended her arms as if to say, 'See? Not so difficult, right?'

Rika nodded with renewed vigor and slapped her.

My muffled, almost inaudible steps carried me to one of the less frequented floors in our school, at least around this time of the day. A rather uncomfortable creaking noise rang through the deserted hallway as my fingers pushed against the light-blue wooden door to my left, which scraped against the flooring of the restroom.

"Mou, they still haven't fixed this?!"

Frustration and regret coated my ashen face.

I hurried towards the adjacent men's room and squeezed my slim body into the doorframe to conceal myself. The echoes caused by the nicked lower surface eventually subsided once the door slammed shut. My racing heart and the shallow breaths I drew to calm down were the only faint sounds that broke the silence.

"Seems like no one heard the commotion..."

Going here should be fine, right?

Turning around wasn't feasible. Instead of being careful by not entering, I would open myself up to more potential danger if I decided to search for another vacant restroom. The lack of response after this unexpected accident had already proven that I hadn't been followed this time or they would have swarmed me by now.

Convinced by my conjecture, I strode into the room and made sure that each cubicle was unoccupied. My indecisive, slow steps led me back to the first compartment on the far right, where I took a deep, calming breath. I slipped inside, locked the door behind me and perked my ears — ready to detect any shifts in my surroundings.

Twenty seconds flew by, but no one barged in.

"Waiting any longer could be dangerous..."

Such a high level of caution wasn't unwarranted.

Being ambushed on my way to the toilet was a rather frequent occurrence, despite my extensive preparations. The other girls would often group up and leave together with their friends, while I had to wander through the whole building on my own. I could complain and protest all I wanted but calling this situation unfair wouldn't change a thing.

Visiting the restroom was a matter of course.

Most people weren't even thinking about such menial tasks because they would just go whenever they felt the need to. None of them had to plan multiple routes in advance. They were never forced to rush out of the classroom to gain a small advantage and didn't have to worry about anyone waiting at their destination. Neither boys nor girls had to watch their backs as they roamed in circles, ran upstairs, darted downstairs or zigzagged all over the place to shake their pursuers.

Only I understood how blessed they were.