Best Friend

"How's my favourite programmer other than incredibly handsome?"

After being rudely disturbed during my morning workout, I snarled at the man on the other side of the phone. It was rare for the man to call me this early in the morning. Not to mention that disgusting opening statement. It could only mean one thing...

"... what do you need, Len?"

"Haha, straight to the point! Just like always!"

Len laughed over the phone before saying: "A week has passed since the government eased restrictions, so I was wondering if I could pay you a visit now."

"Today?"

"Why? Is it inconvenient?"

"It's a little sudden..."

I hesitated for a moment before answering. I didn't mind Len coming over, but it would be meddlesome if he somehow learned about Althea. While my relationship with her was purely platonic, I could bet a million dollars that Len would misunderstand it. Worst case scenario, he would actually attempt to pull Althea and me closer together.

Thinking that it would be more work than leisure, I was tempted to reject his offer. But if I did that, Len would only be more suspicious.

Begrudgingly, I accepted: "Come after dinner. I don't have enough ingredients to prepare meals for the both of us."

"Ehhhh?! Am I not going to get to taste your home-cooked food today?!"

"... If you wanted to eat, you should have told me at least two days earlier."

"You meanie..." Len laughed over the phone before cutting the line.

Even though we hadn't seen each other in months, I could literally picture his stupid tongue sticking out from his mouth. Looks like a hurricane is going to land in my apartment soon…

❖❖❖

"... And that's why I want you to eat dinner on your own."

During lunch, I explained my current predicament to the girl slurping pesto linguine in front of me.

"You want to keep our relationship a secret from your friend?" Althea asked with question marks over her head.

"Len can be a bit… Overwhelming at times. If he knew about you, I'm certain that he would ask you a bunch of inappropriate questions. Len is also a bit of a romantic. So, he'll try to bring us together, even though we're clearly not in an intimate relationship."

"Ahhh… So he's that kind of friend."

Althea responded with a wry smile. Guessing from her expression, she had one or two friends that were just as nosy and annoying as Len.

"That's alright then! I'll eat some instant noodles or something."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that. I have your dinner already prepared."

"Huh?"

I pointed to the kitchen counter where two boxes of packed pasta were.

"Pesto linguine is good even as leftovers. All you need to do is keep it in the fridge and microwave it whenever you feel hungry. Those two portions should be able to last you for tonight's dinner and tomorrow's lunch."

"Ah, that..."

"If you want something different, I'll pack some fresh fruits for you. I bought some fresh cherries and strawberries from the supermarket."

"... thank you," Althea replied softly. "You didn't have to do that much..."

"What was that?"

"N-No, nothing!" Althea blushed and flailed her arms in the air. She really likes to do that a lot, huh?

"A-Anyway, how did you get to know this friend of yours."

"Len? He's a parasite that I can't get rid of."

"Haha, what do you mean, parasite?"

"That guy… I'd known him since I was a little kid. Since we both came from a rather remote area, we'd gone to the same schools throughout our teenage years. So when we'd both managed to get into Kofuku University and moved to the city, we became roommates. Even now, after graduating, we'd somehow managed to get into the same company."

"Wow, you guys must be really close then."

"Nah, that man's a curse on my life."

I'd recalled the countless times where I had to take care of the man when he's drunk. The many instances of me acting as a bouncer as girls tried to approach him and finally… The constant, incessant meddling with my life.

Really, what did I do to deserve this kind of friend?

"Hehehe..."

"What's so funny?"

"No, it's just… I'd never seen that expression on your face before. You must treasure that friend of yours."

"..."

I didn't know what kind of expression I was making, but from Althea's smiling face, it couldn't be a good one. "Excuse me," I said as I left my seat to wash the dishes. Though I could see Althea's smile blossom even brighter, I'd pretended not to see it while covering my own face.

❖❖❖

A few hours passed, and it was already half-past seven. Since I was expecting Len, I didn't do much after dinner. I sat lazily on the couch as the television played in the background. And just as I was about to get bored, I could hear someone tapping on the number pad of my front door.

And in no time at all, my door was opened, revealing a face that I'd hadn't seen in two months.

"... you know, you could at least knock."

"Haha, my bad!"

Like most private estates, my home used a digital door lock that could be opened by either the given keycard or a specific number combination. Just in case of emergencies, I'd given Len the ten digits needed to unlock my door.

However, seeing how he'd naturally entered my apartment without even leaving a message, I seriously considered revoking his privilege.

"Wow, it's been so long since I'd last stepped into this apartment." Len dropped his plastic bag on the kitchen island before glancing around my home like someone who had just returned home from a long trip. "Good to see that everything remained the same."

"What could possibly change?"

I snorted while checking the contents of Len's bag: "Beer? Are you staying over?"

"Haha, of course, I am! It's been a while since we'd hung out, you know!"

"... Did you have a fight with Sienna again?"

"Why do you always think that?! Can't I just hang out with my buddy?! Besides, I was worried about you! You've been alone for two months without any human companionship! As your older brother, it's my duty to check on your mental health!"

Acting as flamboyant as ever, Len put award-winning actors to shame with his theatrical display.

"... So? What's the real reason?"

"That's rude; I speak of the truth and nothing but the truth!"

"You needed to get out of the house, right?"

"You… Hah… There's no hiding from you, is there?"

Finally, after some pressing, the man caved in and revealed his true intentions. A wry smile crept up his face before he rested at his favourite bean bag chair. You know… I think he'd sat in that chair more than I did.

"So what's wrong?" I asked as I placed one beer in his hands.

"No, there's nothing wrong. But you know… We'd been stuck in the same apartment for two full months. As much as I loved living together with her, there are times where I want some space. I'm sure it's the same for her."

"Ah, makes sense..."

No matter how much the two of them loved one another, I'm certain that staying together for two months with no one else to interact with would give them added stress. For instance, Len had complained endlessly about Sienna's obsessive cleaning habits while Sienna would often moan about how bad Len was at housework.

While there was nothing wrong with a little couple disagreement, keeping it bottled in for two months must have been a strain on the both of them.

"So what have the two of you been doing this entire pandemic?"

"Quite a bit, actually," Len chuckled in response.

"Since we didn't have any other social activities, we were forced to do everything together. Since neither of us could cook, we took an online class and participated as a couple."

"That's cool! So can you cook now?"

"Just a little," Len smiled bitterly. "I'm not as good as you, but I can crack an egg now!"

"... isn't that the basics of the basics?"

"Hehe, you'd be surprised! I can do it with ONE HAND!!! One hand, Desir!!!"

"..."

Honestly… What has this guy been doing for the past two months?

"So that's all you did? Learn to cook?" I asked as I prepared the gaming console.

"Well, we did other things as well. We couldn't play badminton, so we worked out at home. There were plenty of yoga sessions and HIIT classes. Oh, and we'd joined an arts and craft class as well!"

"Wow, what's that?"

"Basically an all-purpose class that teaches random things. Some days, it would be weaving, other days, painting. It's quite an interesting experience. You should try it sometime!"

"... I'll take a look."

What's with those girly activities? The Len I knew would only play online games or outdoor sports for fun. Looks like being in a relationship for seven years really changes a man.

"Haha, I'll send you a brochure. Alright, let me get some ice."

Len lifted his bum off my bean bag and walked confidently towards the kitchen. As per usual, this man behaved like my apartment belonged to him. No, perhaps he really thought of my apartment as a second home?

Maybe I should charge him rent…

As I was thinking of coercing my long-time friend into paying hospitality fees, Len came back with a mug filled with ice.

Wait… isn't that?

"Hey, Desir? I don't remember you having this mug before." Len lifted a pink mug with a cute panda face plastered on its side.

S-Shit! I'd forgotten to hide Althea's stuff!

No, no, no… Stay calm. Althea didn't leave much in my apartment. Other than that character mug and an additional charging port for her laptop and phone, there shouldn't be anything else that could hint at Althea's existence!

"Now that I think about it, why does your apartment smell so different?"

Shit! The air freshener that Althea bought! I'd been using it for over a month, so I didn't think of hiding it!

"And… Why are there long strands of hair on your beanbag?"

Hair! I'd thoroughly cleaned the entire apartment before Len's arrival, so why are there still strands of hair lying around?! Are they some kind of NPC that keeps spawning no matter how many times I clear them?

I kept my face as straight as I possibly could as my mental faculties went into overdrive. But, just before I could spit out a lie, I could feel Len's piercing glare.

"Desir, you… Are you hiding a girl?"