3

I was stuffing all the boxes left, in my tiny truck with the help of some of my neighbours. Some of my neighbours were relieved that I was leaving the area; after all, what was left for me to claim as my own? As people drove or walked past me, they gave me disgusting, hateful looks. I couldn't summon the confidence to respond with the same or worse expression. After all, didn't I deserve this?

When I was filling up my truck, I noticed a couple of the 'popular' girls passing by. And, as expected, they made rude remarks about me.

"If only she didn't make it that night. There were others who deserved it better "one exclaimed She was absolutely correct. I'd rather not be here than be the only person here.

"You know, the only difference it would make if she just left or killed herself, is a little piece of happiness in some people's life." No one would notice it was the truth. I honestly just wanted to die.

"Don't worry about them; when they're bored, they poke their noses into other people's issues." One of the guys, Francis, tried to console me. I merely pretended to grin. Their comments pricked my heart and resounded in my ears.

I thanked the boys and walked back into the home as we finished stacking the last box. I wanted to embrace every single part of the house because it was the last time I'd see it before the new residencies took over the house where I grew up. Every closet in this house held all of my memories. All of the furniture was left in its original state. As I attempted to imagine my happy family still here, sitting on the couch, watching TV, and enjoying themselves, my vision became blurred once more. If only I had the power to go back in time.

My tears finally made their way out of my eyes, as I had predicted, and I felt my cheeks become stained once more. I knelt down on my knees, bowed my head low, and let all my grief wash over me. I felt forced to speak with the stranger once more. Just tell him everything and don't expect anything in return. I curled up behind the couch in a ball, fiddling with my phone and going through my recent calls. My gaze eventually settled on the same number. I felt my chest rise and fall rapidly, unsure whether or not I should bother this stranger. My rational side told me to avoid bothering him, but I decided against it and called him.

His Irish accent resonated in my ears as he quickly responded, "hello." I remained silent, his voice was just enough for me.

"Hey love. You are free to tell me anything. I promise to pay attention to you." He stated.

I had a short internal battle over whether or not I should say something, and in the end, I did "Sh - She is absolutely correct. It's entirely my fault. No one will notice if I simply disappear." With more cries, I was able to speak.

"Shhh. Don't say that, love. At the very least, you've got me to talk to. What happened?" As the worry in his voice intensified, he responded.

"There isn't anything to say. There's nothing to discuss. I just can't do it any longer. None of them are with me." I explained it plainly enough for him to understand that even if he had known, there was nothing he could've done.

"Maybe I can help if you tell me what happened?" You're curious, aren't you? How about you go through the pain i go through just for a day?, nah, that's too much to ask, how about just an hour, and you'll see how difficult it is, I thought.

"I wish I knew who you were. Someone who hasn't turned away from me since that night. I couldn't have done anything! So why am I being held responsible? Huh? I tried everything I could, but it appears that it was insufficient. Even him. He, too, believed it was my fault." I sincerely wished he was a friend of mine. It would have made everything a whole lot easier. Telling someone about that night made me feel like I was experiencing it, which was something I didn't want to do. I wish I could have someone, anyone, to embrace me tightly in their arms, to reassure me that everything would be fine, that everything would return to normal. I simply wanted someone to hold me, but I realised I didn't have anyone.

"I'm not sure what happened that night, Love. But I can assure you that it is not your fault. It wasn't possible. I'm sure you did everything you could. Please don't blame yourself in this manner. Make no decisions now that you will come to regret later."I could tell he meant every word he uttered; it was as if he was speaking from the heart.

"I've already had enough regrets. I mean, I have to call a complete stranger whose name I don't even know. Why? Because I don't have any friends who allow me to speak! No one realises!" I answered truthfully. True, my closest friends witnessed everything that occurred that night, but they were convinced it was because of me. I knew it was all my responsibility, but I had no idea that one small mishap would wreck my entire life; it hurt to know I was to blame for everything.

"I do! Simply let me in, and I'll-"He responded, but I cut him off before he could continue. I was no longer able to seek peace from a stranger. If it weren't for the guilt I carried around with me, I would have ended my life long ago. I'd never had the guts to do it to myself before. If only I could make it through that night, out of the depth of bad feelings, the only thing that kept me alive was the knowledge that there was something better in life waiting for me. Even after that night, I couldn't hurt those few people who truly loved me because the thought of it made me feel terribly selfish. But this wasn't enough to keep me alive.

I stood up and walked to the porch from where I was sitting. Before closing the door and locking it behind me, I gave my 'home' one more look. As I placed the keys beneath the mat, I took a step back so I could take it all in one final time. I sat down in my tiny truck, which had the last bunch of boxes in it. The thought of that stranger filled my mind. Did he really give a damn about me?