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ANBU: Card System In Naruto

Kaori never signed up to be a ninja, in fact, her business had just started to show signs of success when she was thrown into the world of Naruto. All she wanted was a normal life, a cup of lukewarm tea, and maybe a pet pug... won't say no to a couple of millions. But here she was, somehow inducted into the ANBU's Barrier and Security department – a guaranteed low-key job of being stealthy and keeping tabs on some unimportant lamb. Except the world seemed hellbent on making her life a living hell. Then came the card system – now, she can collect cards that grants jutsus, tools, rare bloodline abilities, and even... people. Talk about a game changer! The gears in Kaori's mind started to turn. Maybe, just maybe, she could carve out her own little force, a small ninja army that could ensure that she survives the world-ending wars each Friday, and maybe even get a decent retirement. Her new mission seemed promising enough – a simple surveillance job. "It's a simple enough job, all you have to do is keep an eye on someone." "Who?" "Oh, no one important... just Kushina Uzumaki." "...Who?" {UPDATE} {Must Read: Before anyone starts reading, please let me remind them that this is a crackpot comedy with 50% nonsensical comedy! So read at your own risk and please do not complain that the MC is not taking things seriously... cause she's not supposed to.} Discord Link just in case anyone wanna join: https://discord.gg/yV4CmEx9 ***{You can support my writing on my patron at: patreon.com/echoingdusk}*** ***{Once Again: 'Support' is not a transaction but support as in supporting the author writing... if that makes any sense at all.}***

EchoingDusk · Tranh châm biếm
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34 Chs

Chapter: 23

[It is not the system's primary function, but for the user's convenience, the system might adapt. After all, you are not using any of the system's real functions.]

'Well, don't let me keep you.'

[Generating...

***

Kaori waited about half an hour for the system to generate the Village's panel.

'My shift ends in an hour, so you better hurry UP~'

[Hmm? Oh, the panel? It's already been generated.]

'Then why didn't you tell me!?'

[You didn't ask.]

'You little...'

She wisely decided against arguing with the system, after all, it would be her loss, and right about now, a headache was the last thing she wanted after mushing her brain out for six hours straight.

'My bad. So, show me the panel.'

[Village Name: Konohagakure no Sato]

[Country Affiliation: Fire Country]

[Current Hokage: Sarutobi Hiruzen (Third Hokage)]

[Village Status: Unstable, Combat Ready, High Alert, War Preparation]

[Demography:

Total Population: ~147,000 (89% Civilian, 11% Shinobi)

- Civilians: ~ 89% (130,830)

- Shinobi: ~11% (16,170)

Clan Breakdown (Significant Clans)

- Uchiha Clan (Sharingan): Population (490)

- Hyuga Clan (Byakugan): Population (620 | Main Branch: 30)

- Nara Clan (Shadow Manipulation): Population (430)

- Akimichi Clan (Calorie Control): Population (390)

- Yamanaka Clan (Mind Transfer): Population (570)

- Aburame Clan (Insect Manipulation): Population (150)

- Inuzuka Clan (Beast Transformation | Ninken): Population (280)

Age Distribution:

- 0-12 years: 19%

- 13-24 years: 42%

- 25-50 years: 32%

- 50-64 years: 6%

- 65+ years: 1%]

[Military Strength:

- Active Shinobi: 16,000 (estimated)

- Genin: ~45.75% (7,321)

- Chunin: ~26.89% (4,303)

- Special Jonin: ~19.35% (3,096)

- Jonin: ~7.45635% (1,193)

- Elite Jonin: ~0.5% (80)

- Kage: ~0.04375% (7)

Ninja Academy:

- Enrollment: ~410 (yearly)

- Graduation Rate: 60% (Average)

Security/Defense:

- Konoha Military Police Force(Uchiha): ~150

- ANBU Black Ops/Root: ~ 989/450

- Village Barrier Ninjutsu Network: 100]

[Economy:

Primary Income Source: Missions (Ranked System - D, C, B, A, S)

Secondary Income Source: Tax and Trade

Main Export: Textile, Foodstuffs, Weapons(Limited

Main Import: Raw Materials, Luxury Goods, Weapons(Limited)]

[Special:

- Tailed Beast: None-Tailed Fox(Kyuubi): Jinchūriki Uzumaki Kushina (Kage)]

'Hmmm...'

With this alone, she probably knew more about the Village than most of the Shinobi did, and that was a reassuring thought because there were many things she was not aware of. An example of that would be the fact that the Hidden Leaf had seven Kage-level shinobi... Since when!?

'No! Calm down and count everyone I have encountered so far.'

The Hokage? He's one obvious Kage-level shinobi.

The three Sannins? Another three Kage-level.

Danzo and The ANBU Commander? Another two.

Kushina... well, that makes seven alright 

So the village has seven Kage-level shinobi. Counting out Tsunade because of her Hemophobia, and substituting Minato in her place, the numbers remain the same. But by the end of this war, there will be only two still in the village.

'That's not a reassuring thought at all!'

*SIGH*

In the end, no matter if one is a Genin or a Jonin, a stray kunai to the head or a detonation charm to the face would blow them up to high heaven, with no discrimination. As a wise man once said,

"All are equals in death."

Kaori had no idea who said that but it sounded cool so she whispered it out loud, not knowing that a certain redhead was staring at her,

"Yup, those are some dangerous thoughts right there."

Startled, Kaori bounded off the roof, and landed on the building adjacent to Kushina's, with a kunai in one hand and the other across her chin and neck, covering the lower half of her face,

"Quick response! But you didn't notice me until after, I was standing next to you. So your score should be around -25 points."

The mysterious figure was an ANBU as well, or at least it was wearing the same uniform and mask as those of the ANBU. Kaori couldn't make out its gender, its age, or anything that might give away its identity.

*SNIFF* *SNIFF*

Kaori tried smelling the person's chakra, but it wasn't a particularly conspicuous-smelling chakra. With a groan, decided to use the mind's eye again, 

'Damnit! A Jonin!'

And if that wasn't bad enough, she could sense at least half a dozen more presences, scattered across the building. 

Kaori adjusted her stance, crouching down to her knee level, and prepared to send a signal for backup in case the figure did turn out to be an enemy.

"Oh~ that's a nifty little sensory skill you got there, +30 points!"

'Great, now it knows I can sense its companions.'

Kaori groaned internally. After all, that meant they would all attack at once instead of ambushing her.

"Well, it is unfortunate but since you saw me,"

The figure leaned forward, its hand closing around the hilt of the ANBU Tanto strapped across its back,

"I will have to kill you-"

*BANG* *SLAM*

Just as the figure was about to draw the blade, a frying pan hit the back of its head.

"Come on now, Hebi-san, don't you scare Kaori-onee!"

It was Kushina, standing on the balcony with a second frying pan in her hand, waving it threateningly at the masked figure,

"Ouch~ What was that for Kushina-chan? I was only trying to mess with my new subordinate!"

Strangely enough, the figure straightened up, and rubbing the back of its head, started to search for the frying pan.

"Are you, Captain Hebi?"

The figure beamed at her,

"That's me! Nice to meetcha!'

'WHAT?'

But wasn't ANBU Captain Hebi deployed on the front lines? What's she doing here?

'Observe!'

[Name: Nara Shikae(Hebi)]

[Age: 24]

[Chakra: 100,000/389,000(Jonin/Elite Jonin)]

[Physique: 97,000/350,000(Jonin/Elite Jonin)]

[Evaluation: A Jonin of the Nara Clan. Head of the Jinchūriki Surveillance Squad. Member of the ANBU regulation commission founded by the Second Hokage. Strength suppressed using 'Heart Suppression Seal.' A Master Assassin and a merciless killer. Once in a century genius of the Nara Clan.]

Kaori stared, her face expressionless, at the system interface. Nara Shikae, a Captain of the ANBU Black Ops,

'This is new.'

Hebi gave a goofy laugh, her face hidden behind her mask, and threw the frying pan back at Kushina, who caught it with ease. Now armed with not one, but two lethal weapons, the redhead grinned maliciously at the Nara,

"Captain Hebi? More like Hebi-baka!"

Shikae's grin turned into a sulking weep,

"Come on now, Kushina-chan! Don't say that, it's kinda rude you know."

Kaori stood up from her crouching position, her face contorted in bewilderment, wondering what in the world was going on here,

"I-uh, appreciate the warm welcome but next time, maybe reconsider trying to kill me?"

Hebi chuckled, straightening up herself and patting the imaginary dust off of her armor, 

"About that. I just got a bit jealous of you since you were having such a nice nap!"

'Figures.'

Kaori sighed internally, it made sense that a Nara would be jealous of someone having a nice nap. But where did Hebi get the energy to try and prank her? Weren't they supposed to be too lazy for stuff like that?

Kushina scoffed from the balcony,

"You're one to talk! You always taking your hourly naps inside my house."

'Now that's a Nara behavior.'

Kaori wondered, was there a guideline on how to act as a Nara?

Shikai chuckled, her eyes sullen as before, 

"Don't be harsh, Kushina-chan. I just like to keep my energy up for when it truly matters."

Her eyes shifted from the redhead to Kaori,

"As for you, newbie, you need experience."

The ANBU Captain disappeared in a burst of darkness, appearing behind Kaori and before she could react, placed a hand on her shoulder,

"See! You couldn't react at all. It's not that I am too fast for you or anything. just that your mind doesn't yet have the instincts of-"

*SMASH* *BANG*

"Quit jumping around on my roof!"

Kushina screamed, waving her free arm at them while simultaneously preparing to throw the second frying pan.

"Alright, alright, just a sec!"

Hebi turned to look at Kaori,

"You don't have much combat experience, do you? Take the weekend off and try doing some bandit subjugation mission or something, I will cover for ya'. But just this once, alright."

[An Anomaly Detected! A Nara willing to do overtime!]

***{You can support my writing on my patron at: patreon.com/echoingdusk***