Happy memories/delusions?

Chapter 3 - Happy memories/delusions?

I was waiting in a hospital room anxiously, as I waited for the doctors to give me my options for my declining health. Sitting beside me to my right was one of my friends? One of the only people who still cares for me?

I don't know anymore.

While I was pondering, I heard a door click. 

Looking up from my heavy thoughts, the doctor that was assigned to me, walked inside the room with a neutral face. With his appearance came the heavy atmosphere that descended upon me. I looked to my right and saw ___  also seemed to have noticed the heavy atmosphere.

With the door closed behind him, he turned to look at me. As abruptly as it came was a tension-filled silence that lasted a couple of seconds, before the doctor broke it first, breathing deeply and sighing.

"Mister ____, do you want the good news or the bad news first?" The doctor asked with the best neutral face he could muster, but even then I could see that it was merely a facade.

I contemplated his words knowing that whichever one I pick won't change the results either way.

"The b- good news first, doctor," I spoke as confidently as possible.

The doctor acknowledging my decision spoke.

"Alright, The good news is that there's still a chance for you to live by getting a transplant." 

"...and the bad news?" My hope, dashed away long ago, rose...

"Well…" the doctor hesitated, and the meager hope I had dashed away once more. "The chances of finding a heart donor for you, this late into your disease is slim to none."

"I see...," I say with a defeated tone.

____ noticing my downcasted expression spoke.

"No worries Jack I'll be with you all the way, I'm sure you'll live through this."___ said optimistically. He seemed to have noticed my downcasted expression.

"You're right, at least there's still a chance," I nodded firmly, but contrary to my words there was something inside me that whispered the opposite.

"That's right I'm sure you'll live through this. I'll always be here with you no matter what!"

"Than-" 

All of a sudden, static-filled the room, interrupting my voice

{BBZZZZZTTTT}

Static-like voices that were overlapping with each other exploded in my head.

<This isn't what occurred/transpired in your memory/delusion> 

Voices appeared in my head, each barely distinguishable from another, yet there was a feeling of nonchalance.

<Still denying/withholding reality/speculation Ego>

Everything started to crumble: the roof, the walls, and the floor-everything in the room crumbled down, revealing a white void with an inverted black pyramid. It seemed to be peering down from the sky.

The voices continued to speak.

<We are greatly disappointed/disproved in your performance>

<We are questioning/problem your qualifications/competence>

I couldn't speak, the mere presence of them made me feel like I was standing in lead.

<We will observe/contemplate your qualification/competence>

Static noise, already buzzing loudly, became even more overwhelming. As it started to grow louder and louder, I held my head in an attempt to lessen the pain of the noise...

…

….

…..

My eyes shot open, and I woke up with a start, gasping for air as I gripped whatever I could hold.

Looking around frantically, I saw that I was back in Es's room, I started to calm down realizing I wasn't in danger and in pain anymore.

(What was that?) I asked myself, As I tried to recall what happened when I slept.

Trying to recall what happened, I could only remember bits and pieces of it, Like when you wake up from a dream and you start forgetting most of its details but still remembering the important parts,

(My memory? Delusion? What were those voices talking about?) I attempted to recall more of what happened in that dream, yet only blanks appeared in my head.

While I grew frustrated, I heard a voice call out to me.

"You're finally awake." 

I looked over to the source of the voice, and I saw Es, sitting calmly whilst reading her book. She talked to me as she flipped a page.

"A bad dream?" she said in an inquiring voice.

"Yes." I sighed, answering in a frustrated tone.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Y-" I hesitated In answering, and contemplated her words, (should I talk to her about it? But we only just met?), I eventually decided to not talk about it,

"No, I'm fine..."

"Very well, but now that you're awake I have questions for you-" She suddenly stopped, and to my surprise, after a second she continued where she left off.

"-if you want to answer of course." 

I blinked my eyes.

(Did she stop to think on what to say in order for me to calm down. Perhaps this woman named Es isn't as rude of a person as I thought she would be...still, this could be a good distraction.)

"Go ahead," I said, giving my approval.

"Alright. Now then, how do you perceive this place?" Es asked curiously. 

I noticed there was a difference between her tone from the previous cold and professional one she had back when she asked me those twelve questions.

(Some progress, huh?)

Shaking my head to focus, I asked her a question.

"Umm...can you elaborate on that?" 

I had no idea what that question was supposed to ask. Was it just simply what I thought of this place?

"Hmmm" She hummed, but otherwise said nothing else to help solve my confusion.

(Guess she wouldn't elaborate…)

"Hmm...well, I suppose this is a place to question who I've always been."

Es's eyes seemed to widen at my answer.

"A philosophical answer. Not bad," she said appraisingly, looking at me as if she was evaluating a new person.

"The identity of this place is of little importance. You are here. Now."

She looked around the room, and I did the same. It was just nothing but shelves, although I couldn't help but notice there was really no color here, besides shades of black and white.

"Whether you will or not, something lies ahead of you. Perhaps that is exactly why you seek reasons...for you...and I, both," Es finished in a somber tone. She then shook her head, as if trying to forget what she was saying.

"Enough of that, Here I have something I want to show you." 

"What is it?" I asked, surprised, and felt a little expectation.

(It should be something special, right? Like how can it-)

"It's a picture book."

"...oh" I said, a tiny bit disappointed. Honestly, I didn't know what I was expecting from her when she said she had something to show me.

Es didn't seem to notice my disappointed tone, as she continued talking.

"Your interpretation of the story...it is very much of interest to me."

(...but it's just a picture book...)

"Alright...show it to me," I said, internally sighing. I was still a bit disappointed from my false expectations.

"Here, sit down next to me." Es said nonchalantly, patting the chair next to her.

I was taken aback from her unexpected request, but that didn't stop me from walking towards the chair next to Es.

(Did she prepare this beforehand?) I mused to myself as I began to sit down next to Es.

As I moved closer to her, I was given a start as I realized that I was about to sit next to a beautiful woman. I blushed, due to how close we were. Still, that didn't stop me from sitting down seemingly calmly.

(Thank god for this mask, otherwise I would be embarrassed ever so dearly. I'm never used to beautiful women...)

While I was agonizing internally, I noticed from the corner of my eye that Es picked up a picture book that I didn't recognize.

She opened the picture book. On the first page, the picture seems to be in a room, with the occupants being a boy, what seems to be a king, and what seems to be a maid. The colors were black and white, with a few shades of grey.

(Just like this room...and Es.)

I started to notice a pattern.

"The characters are comprised of a prince, a king, and a maid. Your interpretation will decide what kind of story this is. Unlike last time, however, I'll be trying to find out your motif."

Es turned and nodded her head at me.

"So I'll ask you a few questions, and once we're done I'll tell you your results. Alright?"

"So just like last time?" I inquired curiously.

"Yes, just like last time," she said, nodding her head again.

"Alright then, let's begin," I said determinedly. I couldn't help but be interested in where this story would go. 

"Very well, choose the closest answer on your take of it. Now let me hear your story..."

Es held the book up to me, pointing at the first page.

"What is the prince doing?" she asked.

I blinked at her question.

"Uhh...he's rubbing his eyes because he just woke up?"

"And how does the king feel about this?"

(...a weird question to ask, but I'll answer it nonetheless.)

I didn't really know how to answer this, as  the king in the picture looked distraught...but on what?

I contemplated on what my answer should be for a couple of seconds and eventually decided what to say.

"He's panicking over the gap between ideals and reality." 

Es looked up from the book, and stared at me, blinking her eyes. I tilted my head, asking a silent question, but she soon resumed her questioning, focusing back on the book.

"Why is the maid hiding?" Es asked, pointing towards the so-called maid, hiding in the back.

(That's an easy one; she looks like she's watching over the prince a bit farther away.)

"To watch over the prince from the shadows," I responded.

"How does the story end?"

"How would I know?" I instinctively asked. I would also like to know the ending, but Es seemed to have taken it the wrong way.

"Just answer," she replied, and for the first time I heard a little bit of emotion in her normal, calm voice. There was a bit of annoyance.

(Well alright then.) 

Thinking for a bit I eventually decided on a random ending that I liked.

"The prince elopes with the maid." 

"...I see."

There was a moment of silence, and after a few seconds passed, I spoke up.

"Well is that al-"

"Fleeing from the castle, the prince and the maid followed their hearts and elope," Es said with finality, closing the book softly.

I blinked at her. 

(She's making her own ending of my interpretation?)

"So.. that's how your story goes," she said, as if nothing happened. "There are some truths of reality one can find only in fiction. Next time I want you to let me interpret your story."

"...alright."

I'm not going to lie, that sounded very interesting. I honestly can't wait to do what Es just did to me.

No, it's not because of revenge or anything like that. I'm just genuinely intrigued. That's all.

"Well, your hidden motif is Selfish Impulses. You tend to act on impulse and throw common sense and set standards to the wind. You long for nothing more than to cast off the yoke and run free. The idea of relying on others is nigh unthinkable for you, as it is your firm principle to decide on things for yourself, most likely bordering on overconfidence on occasion," Es said, having the same cold and professional tone I heard her last time she asked me something like this.

Still, I couldn't help but be surprised.

"By all means, live for yourself. It's an admirable goal...but be prepared to turn around and find that you are alone," she finished with an emphasizing tone. A tone that seemed to have something in common with me...

"See, if something changes in your perception or world view, the ending will change. That goes for this place too, not just the story. After all, the future will be decided by your interpretation...by 'your' will," Es finished. For some reason, there was a bit of emphasis on the last part.

I can only attempt to read between the lines. What does she mean?

"That's all for now, I'm sure you would like to have some time for yourself to think," she said, nodding at me understandingly.

"Yeah, I would like to." 

I'm once again shocked by how accurate she was. Was she a certified psychologist or psychiatrist or something? 

Getting up I decided to take a walk to clear my head.

"Now shoo. Don't think I didn't notice how disappointed you were when I showed you the picture book. What were you expecting, something else?" Es snorted at the last part.

Oops.

"Wha-no I wasn't. I was already leaving anyway..."

"Good. Now let me get back to my books." 

With that said, she looked down at a book she somehow conjured out of thin air. That seemed to be the end of our conversation, and my cue to leave.

Seeing this, I stood up, and walked towards the door.

While I was walking towards the door to go outside and take a walk, I started to recall Es's words.

'Be prepared to turn around and find that you are alone.' 

(She's wrong about that. I had my 'friend' with me when I was still in the hospital.)

Immediately after I thought of that, words then started to echo true in my mind, from what I recalled while I was dreaming. 

<This isn't what occurred/transpired in your memory/delusion> 

(Why did I suddenly think of that? Am I starting to go insane?)

 Musing to myself, I opened the door, exiting Es's room.

Chapter End---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This chapter was a pain in the ass to write, I had 4 versions of this yet none of them were good to me. Hopefully this one is better...but hey congratulations again. Would you like 2 cookies this time for making it this far? No, Good I ate all the cookies, But once again make sure to leave a comment and power stone its free and you could always wait one day again Es simp signing out.

This chapter was edited by DaoistofBoredom. Again. And probably will be for the foreseeable future.