Chapter 4

Joshua and I parted with a smile on our faces that day. We didn't want to end that conversation but it was necessary because I already had a class. I am very happy for this day. I feel complete. I just ask God that Joshua and I will have a good relationship. I'm hoping that this secret relationship of us will work until we're ready to confess it to my family. After my last period, I decided to go home and when I came out of the gate of this school, brother Francis was waiting. I waved to my brother and he opened the door of his car for me.

"How's your studies," he asked.

It's ok brother, I'm not having a problem. "I replied.

"Good, so when will be your final exams?" he asked. "Next week, brother. I'll just get my permit tomorrow. There was a long queue earlier so I'll just go early tomorrow." I said.

"Ok, brother Ronald will take you to the school tomorrow because I have something to do," he says.

I just nodded and focused my attention on the outside. Brother Ronald was the oldest of our siblings. He is the one who educates me. He is a kind brother but when he gets angry it is strange. He doesn't have self control so he gets stuck. Even though he is strict with me, I still feel his care and love. He is very sweet and he is always there for me. In all my brothers he is the one I love the most.

Brother Francis is the second of the siblings. He loves to cook. He is good in the kitchen. Whatever you want him cook, he will enjoy doing it. We also called him chef. He was taller than brother Ronald so he was mistaken to be our eldest. When brother Ronald is in Manila, he is the boss in our home. His patience is short so do not make him wait.

When we got home we found my mother preparing food for dinner st the kitchen. I kissed her and went up to my room. I lay down on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. When I remembered Joshua, I immediately took my cellphone and texted him to let him know that I was at home. He immediately replied as if he was really waiting for my text. "Ok, I miss you. See you tomorrow at 7 am, infront the registrar. Let's get our permit together." he replied. I never texted back. I immediately deleted our conversation on my cp and close my eyes. I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. I was stunned when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and I saw dad.

"Come down for dinner. You was fall asleep earlier so we ate our dinner ahead. You haven't been able to change your uniform," Daddy says. "Yes dad, I'm sorry." I said. I got up and went to the bathroom to wash and change my clothes. Then I went downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. They all seem to be asleep. I just ate my dinner and washed my dishes then went back to my room. I looked at the time on the clock hanging in the wall of my room, it was 9 pm. It's hard for me to sleep again. I just took my notes for me to review for our upcoming final exam. But before I started reviewing I checked my phone first. Joshua did not text anymore. I prevented myself from messaging him so all I did was turn off my cp and started my review. Early in the morning I ask brother Ronald to drive for me in going school.

"Today is Saturday so you don't have class. Why should I drive you to school?" brother Ronald asked me.

"I will get a permit for our final exam next week. The queue is always long so I haven't been able to get it yet. I really meant to be early so I could definitely get it right away without having to queue.," I said.

"Ok, wait me here i will just get my key." he said.

"Thank you brother, I'll go ahead. I will just text you when i'm done." I said when we got to the school gate.

I went straight to the registrar and immediately saw Joshua sitting on a mono block while looking seriously at his cellphone. I hid first and took my phone and texted him.

"Good morning. I'm sorry, I can't go there today. My brother and I have an outing so I can not get my permit today. Maybe I can get it on Monday," then I sent my message.

I watched how he would react to my message. Suddenly he looked sad. He closed his eyes and looked up it's like he is asking God for help with what he would reply. He suddenly straightened up and typed on his phone. After a while, my phone beeped. I read his reply while smiling.

"Where are you going? Can I follow you? I want to see you now. Promise I won't reveal to your brothers. I miss you so much." he replied.

I looked at him again and i remorseful. He was still looking at his cp and he was really waiting for my reply. I slowly came in front of him and said, "I'm just kidding. You're so affected." I said. He looked with smile. He was about to hug me but I stopped him. I'm afraid that someone who knows my brothers will see us and then they will report to them, for sure i will be scold by them.

"I don't like that kind of joke. It's not funny," he said in a baritone voice. "I am sorry." I said while smiling at him. He stood up and smiled at me as he flipped my forehead. He would have held my hand but I quickly avoided him and looked at the students around us. He seemed to understand what I wanted to convey. I was already in front of the line and he also followed me while preventing himself from being sweet to me.

We were quick to get a permit because the queue wasn't too long. " Do you have class today?" I asked Joshua.

"No, I'll hang out with you first. Is it ok?" he asked.

I just nodded and smile.

"How's your studies." I asked him.

"I'm doing great most specially i'm inspired by you." he replied.

I admire every sweet word he utters. It makes me happy.

We were walking towards the canteen when we met Mary Grace with a wide smile.

"I can smell something fishy." she said.

"What do you mean? I took a bath earlier and remember your mouth is closer to your nose." I answered.

"Tell me the truth best friend, did something happen yesterday that changed you?" Mary Grace asked me. "Nothing bhes. Why, why there's something new from me?" I asked. "The sadness in your eyes is gone and it seems, you're in love." she said simultaneously squeezing my both cheeks.

Joshua laughed but stopped when he saw me frown and looked at him wickedly. He signed peace with me and got serious.

"No one has been dating yet but in love?" I said.

"Why do you have to go for the date first before you fall in love?" Mary Grace asked me.

"Crazy! You just miss me that's why you say that." I said.

"Why are you together?" she pointed Joshua and me."

We just met earlier while queuing at the Registrar to get a permit. Coincidentally, we ended up in a row and we talked for a while here so you saw us being together," I said.

I looked at Joshua like I asking for help to stop Mary Grace from asking questions. Fortunately, he seemed to understand what I meant.

"Would you like a snack? I'll for it." said Joshua.

Mary Grace and I looked at him and then Mary Grace and I looked with each other smile, we looked at Joshua again.

"All right," we said.

We laughed and walked to the school canteen. Joshua just followed us too. Mary Grace and I had fun talking while eating and Joshua was just looking at us too and laughing if anything was funny. I also catch a glimpse of him because he is only looking at me.

We decided to go out to the canteen after we take our snack and went to the library to review our lesson. Joshua still came with us and Mary Grace noticed that too.

"Cousin, you will come with us to the library too?" Mary Grace asked Joshua.

"Of course cousin, why are you only the one who knows how to review?"

said Joshua.

Mary Grace turned her back on us and headed inside the library. Joshua and I looked at each other and smile.

"I love you," he whispered to me.

"Me too," sagot naman.

We followed Mary Grace. Joshua and I entered the library together and our skin accidentally came in contact. He simply cupped our fingers and pretended to look at the others so that no one would notice him holding my hand as he squeezed it behind his back to hide our holding hands. He took me to a secret place here inside the library and suddenly hugged me tightly. I also hugged him and felt our hearts beating so hard.

"I think Mary Grace is looking for us now" I whispered to him.

He let go of my hug and gave me a smack kiss on the lips. I was shocked at what he did.

"You are really a thief. Someone will see us." I said.

There's no one around us. I've been holding back my feelings for a long time," said Joshua with a smile.

"I'll be the first to go, don't follow right away." I said.

He just nodded. I turned around and pretended to be looking for a book. I found a Rizal book and I immediately took it and looked for Mary Grace. I saw her sitting while reading a book. I also shared with her table and read. "Why only now?" she said in a whisper.

"I can't find this Rizal book, I saw it in the farthest corner," I answered.

"Where is Joshua?" she asked.

"I don't know, I came in here first." I lied.

"Are you looking for me?" asked the voice from behind me, it's Joshua. "Where have you been?" Mary Grace asked.

"Outside," he replied but looking at me.

I looked down and just focused my attention on reading the book I was holding. To my surprise, Joshua stood beside me, also holding a book. I just ignored him. After 15 minutes, my cellphone beeped. I looked my phone and saw that brother Ronald had a message.

"Are you done? I've been waiting here outside the gate. I thought you were fast but it took you half a day. Is that fast for you?" he said.

"I'm done. Sorry all I thought you were home. Mary Grace and I decided to have a review here in the library. Anyway we were leaving," I replied.

I got up and talked to Mary Grace and Joshua. I told them about my brother's text. They just nodded and stood up. We returned the book we were holding and went out to the library.

"Take care always," Joshua told me.

Mary Grace was surprised by her cousin's attitude so she turned to him with a smile. Joshua ignored her and walked to the Engineering Department building.

What happened to him? You are the only one he cares about? What about me?" she said.

Don't pay any attention to what he said. "I said.

Maybe he is crazy. We laughed and looked where Joshua went. We could no longer see him so we walked to the gate as well.

Mary Grace even took me to where my brother Ronald was. She only greeted my brother.

"Come with us Grace, we'll just take you to your boarding house," brother Ronald said.

"No need, but I thank you. I still have something to do here." Grace replied. "Ok, it's up to you if you don't want to," he said.

Grace just smiled onus and left. "Brother, when are you coming back to Manila?" I asked him.

"Maybe after one month Princess." he said.

"Have you resigned from your job?" I asked him again.

"Yes, it's not a good trend so I'll just look for another company to work for. Maybe I will apply here to be close to you," he said. I looked at my brother with astonishment. He looked so serious and like he was holding back his anger.

"Good luck brother," I simply said.

He looked at me but he didn't speak so I just turned my eyes out of the window. I can't stop thinking. I was nervous, why did brother Ronald suddenly make that decision. What if during his stay here he catches me with Joshua? I asked my mind. I took a deep breath and it was not hidden from my brother's hearing.

"Is there's something wrong? What is the meaning of that deep breath?" he asked.

"None brother, I was just tired." I said but it is not true.