fourteen

After our heated shower, I sat down for a while to let my wolf try to help fix my legs that were still twitching because of the climax. Asher thought it was hilarious. I had never seen him smile so much these past few days and I loved it.

I finally got the energy to stand and I walked over to the porch to look at the trees and flowers. I inhaled the fresh air and grinned. When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to be a normal girl. To not have a wolf in my head, to be like the human girls at my school but, now that I'm older I can truly appreciate who I am.

Also, the perks of being a werewolf are fantastic. I could see the trees better and smell the air better. Two arms slithered around my hips and my tensed body soon relaxed in the presence of him.

"What're you doing out here? It's cold." He informed me, I imagined a scowl on his face and laughed.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him, "it's only windy." I replied with a smirk. Asher spun me around so I was facing him. His eyebrows furrowed for a second before he frowned at me. I leaned back onto the railing on the porch and stared up at him.

"What's wrong?" I quietly asked even though I didn't want to know the answer. Ever since Asher and I first got intimate I've been scared that he'd leave me suddenly. Technically since I haven't been fully accepted into Cater's or Asher's pack I was a rogue.

No alpha would want to be mated to a low-class pack member let alone a rogue. My heart pounds against my chest every time I thought of Asher leaving. It'd crush me.. and my wolf wouldn't even communicate with me again.

A loud growl erupted from his chest and a shock went down my spine at it. His eyes were dark and he was furious.

"Don't ever think that way Madison. And the next time you do, I'll make sure to engrave my name into your skin so that everyone knows your mine to keep. Forever."

My cheeks heated up and I grinned. "I wouldn't mind." He gave me a playful smirk back, "noted."

After talking and enjoying each other's presence the frown reappeared on his face. I tried to take a peek into his mind and see what was bothering him but he had his barrier up and he had it uptight. I didn't expect anything less from an alpha.

His face grew stern and he said, "I need to talk to you. Come inside." He grabbed my hand and we walked into the cozy living room and sat on the couch. It worried me how he was acting. He hasn't acted like this since the first time we met.

He dropped his hands on top of his face and groaned. I looked at him confused and nervously before setting my hand on his thigh.

"Whatever is bothering you.. we can get through it toge-" I began before I was interrupted by the painful heat wave that rolled through me. I clutched my stomach and groaned in pain.

"See!" He shot up from the couch and shouted with an angered look on his face. "This is the issue Madison. I can't take watching you got through this heat shit anymore knowing that the only thing I can do is hold it off for a couple of hours!"

I flinched at his words and clutched my stomach as the heat waves gave me no break. He got down on his knees in front of me and grasped my face in his warm, comforting hands. "Please, Madison, let me end your pain."

I blinked and immediately I cut off all of Asher's connections to my thoughts. I didn't want him deep in my thoughts for a conversation like this.

"Please." He whispered again, his observing eyes watching my every move. My heart raced as the dreaded conversation was finally brought up.

I as well wanted the heats to stop, it hurt both Asher and me but the mating process was bigger than heat. All the other moments I imagined mating it didn't seem like such a big deal, but now this is real. This would seriously happen and that reality just hit me.

Both Asher, his wolf, and my wolf were ready for the process. It was just me who needed to accept it. But I couldn't.

I looked away from Asher and mumbled, "I... I'm not ready yet."

He frowned and his eyebrows furrowed, he grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eye, "Madison, this isn't a matter of being ready or not. These heats are practically killing you! And they aren't deemed to go on for this long we should've been mated days ago!"

I didn't reply to him and just looked down at my pajama pants. He groaned and stood up, his back facing me while he stared out the porch.

We sat in exact silence for a minute, both in our thoughts.

"I knew I should've just tied you up, marked and mated you the first night I laid eyes on you." I heard him mumble under his breath.

My head recoiled in shock. He seriously thought that mating me without consent was a promising idea. But the part that upset me the most was that he still believed it was a decent idea now.

I sat up from the couch and announced, "you were thinking of mating me without consulting me at all?" I said, with bitterness and hurt laced in my words.

Asher faced me again and stepped close. Outrage radiating off him. "Of course I would. If I had, you wouldn't be going through all this pain, love." He frowned and answered back.

I scoffed. "Don't act like this is about me. You just want to get into my pants like the other girls that warmed your bed." I growled and crossed my arms.

I could feel Asher's wolf trying to push through my mental barrier but, I kept my walls up tight despite my wolf whining and trying to pull them down to get to her mate.

Asher gripped my arms and pulled me tight against him, growling viciously. "How many times do I need to remind you that you're not like them until you get it in your head?" He explained.

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me, "I don't care! You still slept with them! I am your mate and you're supposed to be mine!" I yelled at him. He shook his head and kept quiet.

Tears began to form in my eyes and I tried my hardest to conceal them. "Why didn't you wait for me as I did for you?! Why couldn't you just be loyal to me?!" I pushed his chest as the tears finally fell down my face, the crack in my heart had finally spread. The day I found out Asher had been disloyal it broke me and now I have been broken all over again.

I fell to the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs as I let cried.

"Madison.." he whispered from above me. I shook my head, "go away." Asher stooped down to my level and tried to pull at my arms. "Madison, my love, please look at me."

I was hurt. And so was my wolf, even she couldn't bear to forgive Asher right now. She cried with me.

I had to get out of here. I couldn't be in the same cabin, let alone room with him right now. I just needed a few hours to collect myself and get the courage to speak to my mate again.

I jumped up from the spot I was in and ran out the door. I quickly shifted to my wolf and ran as fast as I could. I could hear Asher yelling my name angrily but I didn't stop. I couldn't and I wouldn't.