⇢ CHAPTER 25

twenty days, Bailey and Holly were practically numb to everything in the hospital. They worked on patients, performed surgeries, . But they weren't themselves. They wouldn't chat with other doctors, they wouldn't crack jokes or lecture people.

They'd simply be there and stare at a wall.

Holly was thankful for Lexie, however. Whenever she'd get home, she'd want to curl up in a blanket, wear one of George's sweaters and eat cookies but Lexie helped her study for their intern exam-- with a few cookies here and there and in George's sweater.

It would brighten her moods enough that she'd feel able to go to work the next day with her sunny personality-- until she would see Amanda sitting in the hospital bench in front of the hospital-- that pretty much dampened her mood and she'd go back to the numb state.

"Hey." Derek greeted as he walked inside the elevator that Holly was standing in alone, pressing the button to go down to the pit, "...We have a trauma coming in."

Holly nodded stiffly, "I know."

"Good." Derek hesitantly continued, "...It's a car crash."

"I know."

"Oh." Derek nodded slowly, "I wasn't sure if you knew..." He turned to her, "I could get another intern if you--"

"I'm fine." Holly assured, looking forward, "I'm not going anywhere."

Derek nodded again, "Okay... so--" The elevator doors opened and Holly immediately rushed forward to the trauma room she was paged at. Derek sighed, rushing right behind her as he entered, "What do we got?"

"Man versus car, he's got multiple crush injuries and we're looking at a possible amputation of his arm--" Callie presented before her eyes looked up from the wound, "...Holly, I didn't know--"

"I'm fine." Holly nodded, checking the pupils of their patient and looking at Derek, "Pupil's blown."

Derek checked before nodding at the nurse's, "Pupil's blown. Stop C.P.R." He looked at a nurse, "Give me a cranial drill, please." Derek shaved the man's head and began to made a small incision as he hesitantly looked over at Holly, "Kepner... you okay to do burr holes?"

Holly nodded, "I'm good."

"Shepherd--" Hunt started.

"I said, I'm good." Holly nodded, grabbing the cranial drill, "I've done this before, remember?"

"Okay." Derek nodded, looking at another nurse, "Stabilize the neck, please." The nurse did exactly that and Holly inhaled deeply, "Go in slowly. When you feel it grab, stop."

Holly nodded, "I've got it."

✧

Everything in surgery was going smoothly, Holly had successfully done burr holes in the trauma room and the man woke up. Began to write down, with his good arm, his name and family before he needed to go surgery.

"Damn it." Derek sighed as the monitor began to beep erratically and Holly looked over worriedly, "Come on. Live. Just live."

"I.C.P's thirty." Holly announced.

"Push seventy of mannitol and start bagging." Hunt nodded at a nurse.

"Oh, God." Holly muttered as she continued squeezing air into the patient's lungs with the ambu-bag, "Oh, God..."

"There." Derek sighed in relief, "Got the bleeder." He looked around, "Nice work, everyone." Holly wheezed in breaths as she continued to squeeze air, "Holly." Derek looked over at the girl in worry, "That's enough."

Holly nodded, backing away from the patient with shaky hands as she placed a hand on her chest and struggled to breathe, "I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Derek nodded, "Just take a breather and come back when you're ready."

Holly nodded, walking over to the scrub room as she sat down on the floor, closing her eyes as she tried to regulate her breathing.

She didn't realize how long she had sat on the O.R. scrub room with her hand to her chest as she stared at a dot on the floor, calming herself down, before Derek placed a hand on her shoulder-- scaring her slightly before she realized who it was.

"Sorry." Derek exhaled, sitting down next to her.

"Did you finish the surgery?" Holly asked, looking over at him.

"Yeah." Derek nodded, "No further complications other than the one you saw. It was an easy fix after." 

"Mm." Holly hummed, pursing her lips together before she spoke, "The first time I ever did burr holes on someone was on my boyfriend." Derek looked over as Holly laughed, "That..." She chuckled, wiping a tear that fell down her cheek, " is just... so..." 

Derek wrapped an arm around her as she began to cry, unable to finish her thought as all she could think about was that day.

✧

Holly sat next to Mark in the Nurse's station while Derek and Mark spoke, looking over at the Chief talk to the board.

"More suits?" Mark noted, "It's freaking people out."

"Mm." Derek hummed.

"There's talk of downsizing corporate takeovers,  rumors that Webber's jumping ship." Derek looked over at Mark as he continued, "You've got the Chief's ear. What's he got planned?"

Derek paused before answering, "He's retiring. They're making me Chief."

"What?" Holly questioned, making the two turn their heads to the girl that had been silent for a while.

"" Mark added.

Derek nodded, "Yeah."

"Really?" Mark and Holly asked at the same time, both not believing that to be true.

Derek chuckled as he nodded again, "Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Wow." Mark raised his eyebrows.

"Mm-hmm."

"I mean," Mark went on, "the Chief never said anything to me. I would've fought you hard for that." He shrugged, "Well, I guess it that's what he wants... I guess, uh," He brought a hand for Derek to shake, "congratulations are in order." Holly held in a laugh as she looked over at Derek's face and realized he was lying. Soon, Derek laughed as he shook Mark's hand and Mark stopped, "Wait, that was..." Holly and Derek laughed, "You're messing with me?"