CHAPTER EIGHT

Azzaria

I don't even regret it. I've been kissed by plenty of people and he is definitely in the top 3, the performer. The easier option would be hiding this from everyone but Abigail saw and it made no sense to keep anything from her. She's the only friend I can trust. The only one I have.

My mind just wondered what everything would be like next week but I quickly dismissed the thought and put my focus elsewhere. This was a semi-decent night and I wouldn't let my thinking ruin that. I was on cloud 9, and so I would remain until tomorrow.

Abigail had brought the car around and I ran across the parking lot to get inside. She just looked at me with a silly grin of her face— I'd never live this one down.

"Oh, don't even start," I said and laughed, "pass me the fries."

"Here you go," she said with a chuckle, "I thought he wasn't your type though?"

"He's not but things happen. I haven't even processed it yet," I mumbled, my mouth stuffed with potatoes. These fries were so good, probably as good as making out with Mr. Xander was.

"Get it girl but just be careful," Abigail cautioned and she had all right to. My mind quickly glanced at the one time I went into a serious relationship and how badly that ended. Not that there would be a chance of Dillon and I entering one of those, we both didn't want that but just to be cautious and protect my heart.

"I definitely will."

"How was it? And I saw Halley at McDonald's, she just looked at me and walked back out. That was so weird."

I'm sorry what? Didn't she tell me she was going to Bryce's sister's party and that's why she couldn't come out this weekend. Its so crazy how the mention of one person's name could hurt so fucking bad. I even went as far as sending her a text today and still nothing.

My silence overpowered the vehicle so badly that we could hear the engine and the muffler releasing smoke. Abigail didn't even bother to say anything else as she knew it would be a touchy subject and she didn't put her nose where it didn't belong. You'd never find her in any one's business ever.

A feeling of relief suddenly washed over me as my mind ran to the thought of : if they wanted to, they would've. If she wanted to be here with me, she would've and if she wanted to text me, she would've done that too. Halley is fully capable of making all her own choices and decisions and I would just give her the space she clearly desires.

"The kiss was great. It was very intimate but I wonder what will happen next."

The least I could do was answer the question Abigail asked.

"You both can either act on it or forget it happened," Abigail suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders and continued eating my food. There wasn't much in my brain right now except for being lied to and having a great kiss. I couldn't muster up any words or thoughts at this time.

"Do you like him?"

"At this point, I have no idea. I'm gonna have to think about this one and then let you know a definite answer," I sighed.

I didn't want to like him or have any feelings for him. I didn't want to put myself in a position to be used and mistreated but I had a premonition that it would exactly come up to that.

"You have work on Monday, you'll know soon," she said and rubbed my shoulder.

"I love you," I said with the biggest smile "what did you and that hottie talk about?"

"He was mainly flirting," she said and started to blush. But wasn't Joshua going to be there? Damn, I support her wrongs & rights.

"Did you flirt back?"

"Yes, he was sweet but my mind ran to Joshua," she said with a sigh.

"What would a lover girl do?" I asked aloud and we both started laughing. This was sweet and silly laughter, laughter for no reason.

"If we were lover girls, we'd definitely be in relationships and settled right now," Abigail responded and she's right.

"We are girls with shit ton of trauma, weird pasts and living life," I said enthusiastically. This wasn't a statement for enthusiasm but we made it work. It's our way of coping.

"That we are." She agreed. "Cheers?" She asked as she held up the burger and so we cheered with our burger and fries in our hand. What a car ride.

Abigail was sleeping over the apartment because we had to do up college documents tomorrow into this weekend and then sadly, she's leaving on Monday to get things for her passport and citizenship sorted out.

We got there and went directly to change and clean our faces. We can't have poor mental health and poor skincare, so we just opted for the poor mental health. The skin was way easier to fix. It felt great doing things with Abigail and actually being around someone who is interested in the stupidest things I have to talk about.

It's always easier to be around someone who makes you forget you had a shitty life— I had two of those persons in my lifetime and well, only one is going strong. That completely sucked but you can never force something that won't happen, to happen.

"Should we call my mom?"

"Omg aunty Lean yes," she squealed. Abigail always loved my mom and the feeling was mutual, mom just didn't see Abi as much as she saw the other one.

It's about two in the morning and the worst that could happen was me waking her up, knowing Leann, she's either up watching Nikkieturorials or playing solitaire.

I rang the phone and she immediately answered. Now I'm sure that if I ever run into trouble, she's the first one to call and pick up the phone.

"Did I wake you?" I asked. She was lying in darkness and I could hardly see her face.

"No, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just calling you and also, Abigail is here," I said excitingly.

"Abigail, my darling, hello," mom said to her with a smile.

"Hi aunty Lee, how are you?"

"I'm good and it's amazing seeing you. Are you in town for long?" That's a really good question, was she in town for long?

"I'll be here until graduation," she said. That made me happy. Having my best-friend here for an extra few months.

"That's lovely. You and Azzy should come over soon."

"We will mom. We also just got back."

In a tone of concern she asked, "got back from?"

"We went out for dinner and clubbing. It was fun to say the least," I stated.

"That's good. Hopefully you didn't drink too much. Get some sleep, I love you."

"Bye mom, love you too."

Leann is the best mom a person could ask for. She did everything in her power to make sure life was good, great even. We didn't have the best finances growing up but that never stopped her from putting food on our table and ensuring that her children, whether dead or alive, had the best education and clothes. She struggled and still struggles with me, so one day, I'm sure I have to repay all her efforts.

Dillon

How the fuck can I go to the office on Monday and look at her without wanting to submit everything to her? This isn't love— I'm sure it's not but there's a little spark or maybe it's the scotch still speaking in my brain.

The one thing I could think about was her—for the entirety of the night. Her body, her lips, the conversation we had and I had to get to know her on a different level. Not even to be in a relationship but just to know her. She intrigues, she feeds my imagination and she is just wow.

"Sir, Mikkel will be here in the next five to ten minutes," Johnny said to me.

"Thanks and Johnny, the next time you see that girl." I paused. "Don't fucking hesitate to give her what she wants." My tone was sturdy and serious. The only one who will be going toe to toe in arguments with her is me and I'll make sure of that.

Exiting the VIP section of the club, I just walked around to check out everything else. This club was a really great investment and I'm glad I got the eye for it before anyone else did. 3/4 of the persons here had left and the rest were men drinking and women waiting on the cabs to come. That's the perk of living in the city; everything is always available. No one ever sleeps in NYC.

Mikkel arrived, and I entered the vehicle. The ride home was especially smooth with little chatter. My head was pounding, everything from the night just set in— the liquor, the noise and all the comforting events.

"Here we are sir," Mikkel said as he pulled up to my garage.

"Thanks. Drive safe," I said and walked inside.

Walking inside, I was greeted by my favourite girl in the world— pebbles. I loved this puppy to death. As usual, she jumps up on my legs and I grab her into my arms giving her her back and ear scratches. She's just the best puppy ever and I'll never not have the most love for her. A dog is truly a man's best-friend. No offense to my friend group, of course.

Pebbles ran to her dog bed and was making herself comfortable, while I went upstairs for a shower. I entered my bedroom and saw a black box with a note on top of it. This brought several causes for concern in me especially knowing that much people aren't allowed to enter my home, much less my bedroom.

I kicked my shoes off, sat on the edge and bed and opened the letter. I don't usually get scared but this was just too weird.

To: Dillon T Xander

Don't think that because the divorce is over, I'm leaving. I will get what I want.

~A.

I just hissed my teeth and moved along. Annalise can't ruin me anymore than she already did and I wouldn't even give her the time of day to. My brain can never understand why she just wouldn't let go of me after everything she had done. There's nothing left to take, and she's still trying to suck every ounce of life away from me.

The water was warm and each droplet that fell on my skin revived me but I knew better than to let all of that get to me. The minute I would come out and place my head on that pillow, sleep would take over and I wouldn't stop it from taking over.

As I closed my eyes and allowed the warm water to touch my skin, the moments of the night came fresh. I re-felt everything. Every touch, every kiss and every conversation. It was almost an electric feeling and I don't think this was the scotch talking to me.

This night was definitely unplanned. I never expected to go and see her but I wasn't mad at the idea. Though the alcohol contributed to the majority of the boldness that took place, the kiss was of pure want. Something I'm sure we both wanted to do.

After my shower, I sent copies of the letter to my lawyers and I would drop off the original copy tomorrow. Thank God Ronan convinced me to get a strong surveillance system for my house; Annalise couldn't lie her way out of this one. I don't get tired or worn out often, but I was tired of it all happening and she needed to get over it now. She needed to move on or at least get out of my life.

I saw the light. The light to handle is a much greater asset than any I've handled before, but secrets, love, betrayal and denial will be the top blockers before the end of the rainbow.

There I was, staring at my ceilings, thinking about the deep factors of life with one phrase fresh at the forefront of my mind....the day ahead will be better than the last.