Chapter Twelve ~ Turn her

Freya Rose

After a while, my eyes gradually returned back to their normal bright blue color. I was freaked out and wanted to know what had just happened to me, but Tristan managed to convince me that he would look into it tomorrow. He said he didn't have a clue why my eyes went like that, or why I had been having the rage fits. He couldn't explain the extra strength that I had every now and again, either. Right now, he just wanted to focus on what he did know, and he wanted me to the know the whole truth. We laid on the bed side by side, I had my head resting on his arm, and he stroked my hand with his thumb.

"So, can I ask the questions? Like, we can have a turn each. On my turn, I can ask you a question that I want answers to. Then, on your turn, you can tell me something that you want me to know, sound fair?" I asked him while staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, that sounds good babe," he replied.

Good

I was actually getting really pissed off, and one of the questions I had in my head was driving me insane. My blood began to boil. I needed to know the answer, before I erupted into one of my rages, lost control and started smashing up our beautiful room. I sat up next to him and crossed my legs. He turned his head to look at me.

"Okay, first question. Shoot."

"That new bra trick of yours, where did you learn that? Because it sure as hell wasn't with me."

I scowled at him and he just laughed at me in response. The question might have caught him off guard.

"I'm being serious Tristan, what the hell?" I shouted at him, ready to slap him in his stupid face. His eyes grew wide.

"Oh, whoa! You're being serious, aren't you?"

He raised himself up so that he was sitting in front of me.

"Um hm," I replied with a nod, while I bit my fingernail. It was the only thing I could quickly find to do, that would stop me from clawing his eyes out.

My rage was building and fast. He shuffled around a bit, clearly extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

���Well, this is fucking awkward. Um... Well," he said, then paused as he began to pinch his bottom lip between his thumb and finger.

I twisted my body around to face him better.

"Well?"

He took his hand away from his mouth then finally explained,

"Okay. Okay, I learned it on YouTube," he admitted while staring down at the bed with embarrassment.

"Be serious, Tristan. You expect me to believe that bull?"

He got off of the bed, then strolled across the room and into the bathroom. He returned with a baby-pink silk dressing gown draped over his arm. He then held his hand up with his palm facing me.

"I swear babe. I'm telling the truth. I can show you my laptop history if you don't believe me. Scouts honor," he said with his eyes pleading for me to believe him.

Strangely I did believe him. The thought of him sitting there studying how to undo a bra made me chuckle inside.

"You weren't even in the scouts, you idiot," I said with a giggle.

Damn it, I can never stay mad at him, I thought with a roll of my eyes. He held out his hand for me to take.

"And now would be the perfect time for me to explain to you, what you didn't understand outside. First, let's go downstairs, I'll make us some coffee and we can get started, okay?" He asked with a pleading smile.

I took his hand and stood up. He held open the dressing gown for me. I turned around and held my hair up while I slipped one arm into it, then the other. Tristan lowered his head so that he could see over my shoulder, then reached his arms around me to close the dressing gown. He tied the belt around my waist. I pulled his arms around me tightly while saying,

"Okay, coffee does sound amazing."

He smiled as he took my hand and led me out of the bedroom, then down the stairs. Tristan guided me to the couch and waited for me to sit down. He kissed me on my head and then went to go make the coffee's. The sun was beginning to rise and the aroma from the coffee machine soon filled the room. It wasn��t too long before Tristan was walking back to me with two steaming cups.

"Okay, let's get started."

He placed the coffee's down on the table then sat down on the couch facing me. He put one of his legs underneath the other, so his top leg was resting over his foot. I turned to face him and sat cross-legged. He took my hands into his and gazed into my eyes.

"Right. What I meant outside, was that you don't know... Um," he stuttered and blushed.

"Go on," I said sweetly, urging him to continue.

"Um, this is harder than I thought it would be. Um… You're my first, well, in all honesty, my only. Like, ever." He fumbled with his words slightly.

He blushed again, then ran his hand through his hair. I sat there silent for a moment, trying to read between the lines and decipher what he'd just said. I suddenly realized what he must have meant, and without thinking, I blurted out,

"Wait? What? Like as in... Sex? You, were a virgin?" I realized what I had just said, and immediately mentally kicked myself for being a complete ass, and insensitive jerk. He quickly looked up at me while embarrassment washed across his face. All he could muster up was a silent nod.

"Oh my God, baby. Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe it. You're so damn good at..., how could you be a...," I began babbling.

He quickly cut me off and said,

"No, I mean I did other stuff. Like, a lot of other stuff in fact, but actual sex I was saving for my mate."

He stared lovingly into my eyes. I smiled lightly, then frowned.

"But I'm not your mate, T. So why did you sleep with me?"

He stroked my face and replied softly,

"You might be."

Wow, did it just get super-hot in here?

I shook my head trying my best to focus.

"No, I can't be. On graduation day, Cassie told me that werewolves can't have human mates," I said bluntly while pulling my hair up into a messy bun, securing it with a hair tie that I'd had around my wrist.

"Well technically that's true, but..." He went to continue but I cut him off when I suddenly had a crazy but exciting idea. I began rambling at super speed and my mouth was trying really hard to keep up with my brain.

"Oh my God, what if I'm like half werewolf or something? Is that why my eyes have changed color twice? Because yours change color all the time. It would also explain why I was able to kick Amber's butt, and why I keep having these rage fits. You have a lot of those lately too, I mean look at your poor car. Oh God, it all makes perfect sense."

I took in a deep breath and smiled excitedly at Tristan. I was expecting him to be as excited as I was.

It would be perfect if I'm half werewolf, then maybe we really are mates? Why isn't he excited by all this?

With a sad look in his eyes he shook his head, and said,

"No baby, you're not. Half werewolves don't exist. A werewolf can't ever reproduce with a human, we have completely different DNA. What I was going to say was, technically it is true that humans and wolves can't be mates," he paused, and took in a deep breath.

He seemed to be trying to psych himself up. I took the opportunity to ask him a question. I quickly asked,

"So why am I bothering to take a pregnancy test then?"

He looked up at me and nodded his head, acknowledging my valid question. He then replied with a shrug,

"Well, mainly just to rule it out. No one around the pack has a clue what's happening to you, so I thought we'd cover all bases."

I nodded in agreement. It was best to know for sure. A lot of weird stuff had happened, and we needed to rule out every possible cause, even if that cause was a miraculous one. He looked at me to see if I was ready for him to continue, I nodded and he continued,

"If a human is ever bitten, or scratched by a full or partly shifted werewolf, they then turn into a werewolf themselves. When turned, they can then have a mate. A turned werewolf is just like any other werewolf, but some of the cruel purebred werewolves call them mutts. Whether they are a purebred or a mutt, they all have a wolf inside them that needs a mate."

He stared at me trying to read my face. I began to panic when I remembered that he had bitten me upstairs no less than thirty minutes ago. I took in a deep breath then frantically asked him,

"Is that why you bit me upstairs just now? Did you want to turn me, so that we could be mates?"

He frowned and tilted his head in confusion, seemingly trying to work out what I meant. I helped him out by pointing down to my privates. He burst out laughing while rolling his eyes.

"Oh, baby, no. That was just for your pleasure. To turn someone, a werewolf needs to partly shift and extend their canines, then bite them. You're safe for now, don't panic," he said with a cheeky wink.

I felt silly and a little embarrassed, but I guess that's because, there was still so much that I didn't know about werewolves. I moved back so that I could rest against the corner part of the couch, then stretched my legs out. I reached over to get my coffee and sipped some. Tristan stayed silent, his eyes watching my every move.

"So, I think I get what you're trying to say. Let me know if I'm close, okay?"

He nodded his head in agreement. "If you think I could be your mate, that means I'd have to be bitten and turned into a werewolf to find out, right?" I questioned him.

"Basically, yeah," he replied shortly and to the point, while he ran his hand through his hair. "But I am absolutely convinced that you are my mate, Freya," he said it with pure certainty in his voice.

He stood up and walked over to me, took my coffee cup from me and placed it back on the table. After he knelt down in front of me, I responded by turning around to face him and placed my legs either side of him. He took my hands into his and looked up at me with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Ever since Tyler's birthday party, I knew that you were the only girl for me. When you fell face first into my chest, I had an overwhelming need to kiss you. Then when you kissed me back, I felt sparks of electricity that I had never felt before. That was the instant I knew that you were my mate, Freya," he said the words with such love and conviction.

"I felt the sparks too. I would love nothing more than to be your mate and spend the rest of our lives together. But what if you're wrong? What if you bit me and turned me, then found your real mate? It would break me, I don't think I'd survive that Tristan," I said, and tears began to fall from my eyes.

He went to reply, but I quickly spoke before he had the chance,

"You could find your mate at any time, Tristan. When you do, our relationship will be over in an instant. You will completely forget how much you love me right now, and they will become your entire world. Cassie told me all about how magical the mate bond is, and how there is nothing else in the world like it."

I burst into tears at the thought of losing him, and then I realized that it could happen at any moment. Any girl out there could take him away from me in an instant.

"Baby, please don't cry, you don't need to worry. I will never leave you or stop loving you. I love you always, forever be mine, remember?" He said as he picked up my locket and kissed it. "I believed this then, I believe this now, and I will believe this forever. I promise."

He placed the locket back onto my chest, then wiped away my tears.

"You can't promise me that you won't ever leave me, or that you won't stop loving me. When your mate comes along you will forget all about me, ask Cassie!" I shouted at him, he tried to speak but I continued on, "I don't know if I can do this Tristan. I can't move in with you, and I can't plan a future with you if I'm constantly worried. Each day I'll be thinking, is this the day he'll find his mate?"

Saying that all out loud broke my heart and I sobbed loudly.

"I am telling you, none of that will ever happen. You are my mate, Freya," he said with a tinge of authority.

"You can't know that Tristan!" I snapped back.

"Fine, I know that you are, but I can't make you believe me right now. Just believe this, if, by some tiny percentage you are not my mate, then I will never have a mate. I can guarantee you that." He said as he stood up, and then sat back down, next to me on the couch.

"How the hell can you guarantee that Tristan, huh?" I shouted at him.

He was starting to piss me off, my heart was breaking as I realized the fact that we had no real future together. I would one day end up heartbroken when he found his true mate.

"Because if I did find my mate and it was someone other than you, I would reject them on the spot!" He shouted out, then slumped back onto the couch in frustration. I turned to look at him with confusion.

"Reject them? What the fuck will that do, you could still eventually leave me for them. Cassie told me your heart aches to be with them, how could you fight against that?"

He sat up immediately and snapped in anger as he began to yell,

��Fuck what Cassie told you! Did Cassie not tell you that I had a plan? My heart will never ache for anyone else, Freya. If a werewolf rejects their mate, the bond instantly rips apart at the seams. It is dangerous and excruciatingly painful, but once it passes the mate bond is broken forever."

He stared into my eyes while tears slid down his cheeks.

"Every agonizing second of that would be worth it, just so that we could stay together. I know that the pain from that would be nothing like the agony I'd feel if I lost you. If I lost you, Freya..." He paused and dropped his head into his hands, then spoke barely above a whisper, "Freya, losing you would kill me."

I laid my head on his shoulder and stayed silent. He slowly sat back up and I rested my head on his chest instead, then I just listened to his heartbeat. He began to run his fingers through my hair, and I took in a deep breath through my nose, inhaling his gorgeous scent.

Everything about that moment felt right and natural. I knew there were risks of heartbreak down the line, but I just couldn't let him go. I was addicted to the guy. I loved every single thing about him. There would always be a fear in the back of my mind, that one day he would find his mate, but I knew there was one way to stop that from ever happening. Tristan was convinced that I was his mate and I chose to believe him.

The sparks that we both felt, the passion, and love we shared, it was more than just normal love. It was getting closer to my eighteenth birthday and the closer it was getting, the more aggressive, jealous and overprotective we were both becoming. That had got to be a sign of, that if I was a werewolf, we would definitely be mates.

That would be the best birthday present ever, my man mated to me forever.

What am I waiting for?

I couldn't believe that I even had to think about it. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I always had. Maybe I was just too scared to admit it to myself.

I want to be with him forever.

I would do whatever it took to make that happen. I would take every risk in the world if it meant that I got to keep him.

"Tristan?" I whispered while I brushed my hand up and down his chest seductively.

"Yes, babe?" He replied in a low and sexy voice.

"If I asked you to do something for me would you promise to do it? No questions asked." I asked him and swirled my finger around his chest.

"Yes, of course, I would do absolutely anything for you, you know that." He replied then kissed the top of my head.

I sat up and looked at him with hope filling my heart.

"Good, because I want to believe that we are mates, and I think I know the best way to find out." I said excitedly.

He tilted his head and knitted his brow in anticipation of what I was going to say.

"I want you to mark me and turn me before my eighteenth birthday. I love you more than anything in this world, and I want to be a werewolf like you. I want to be your mate, and this packs Luna."

I held my breath and I stared at him wide-eyed waiting for his reply, but to my surprise, he didn't answer me. My eyes followed him when he gradually stood up and began to storm towards the front door. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach and worry filled my mind while I watched him open up the door.

Then he just stood there silent for what felt like hours. I went to speak, but I didn't get a chance to. Without even bothering to look me in the face, he said in a flat tone,

"No, I can't do that. I won't turn you into a werewolf, Freya."

He then stormed right out of the front door and slammed it shut behind him. I thought he would have been happy. I thought that would be what he wanted.

How could he just say no like that and then leave?

Tristan Cole

I slammed the door behind me after I'd just told Freya, that I wouldn't turn her into a werewolf. I know that she really wanted me to, and that I was being a complete coward, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. I couldn't find the words to explain why I refused her request.

How the hell could I tell her that if I bit her, she might not survive the transition? How was I supposed to tell her that what she wanted me to do could kill her? I knew she would never feel secure in our relationship. At least not until it was proven that we were true mates, or I found my mate and rejected her, but I couldn't expect her to put her life on hold for me.

If Freya, wasn't my mate, I might never find my mate. She would be in limbo forever, constantly worried that my mate might someday turn up. What if that paranoia pulled us apart? That's no kind of life or relationship and I refused to make her go through that constant pain and worry.

I didn't know what to do. I had no answers. I begged Selene, to give me a sign. If I bit her, she could die, if I didn't bite her, she could leave me. What am I going to do? I can't lose her.

If she died, I'd die. If she left me, I'd die. How could I even think about putting that kind of pressure on her? How could I ask my very reason for living, to risk her life for me?

I slid down the wall of the pool house and sat on the floor. I raised my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, then rested my head on them. I closed my eyes as I listened to the love of my life sobbing her heart out right on the other side of the wall. My heart was ripping apart with every soft sob that Freya let out.

I couldn't take it any longer and I just wanted to run away, but my wolf refused to let me move. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to comfort her, but most of all he wanted to give her what she'd asked for, he wanted to turn her.