Chapter 3

I hadn't made much progress on getting my uncle to bury the hatchet with my mother. It truly was a shame. Uncle Tyrion was akin to a highly qualified Subject Matter Expert who had no tact when dealing with the higher ups. He could have played a role in modernizing the mess that was Kings Landing, he could be a splendid advisor to his father or placed on the Small Council but instead he wasted all his energies. It truly was sad. If he kept it up my grandfather may choose someone else to inherit.

I suspect it was jealously, and I was familiar with the feeling. Especially when the enemies of the Empire had ample supplies while we made do with the bare minimum. The Eastern front had truly been unfair.

His sister's intellect and skill at maneuvering in social circles must have frustrated Tyrion so much. He prided himself on his wits as the one thing that made him great and to see a sibling with greater intellect as well as looks must be a bitter pill to swallow. As a result, Tyrion wasted so much time being spiteful with the Queen. Clearly Cersei was frustrated with his lack of ambition when he could be such a greater asset to the family. I suspected she engaged in the petty jabs just to try to motivate him to do something, anything with his life. Her strategy was sound but, in the end, you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

My other efforts to prepare for any potential disaster had borne some fruit. In several noble households the women did the accounting and figuring. Many of the male Lords and knights did not bother learning anything but how to ride and fight. Some pawned the duties off to their Maester or a Castellan but quite a few instead had their wives handle it. Under this premise I had asked for an allowance. I had even made a show of going out and spending some of it on new outfits or simple jewelry. Of course, I kept the bulk of it hidden away in my chambers. In the event I ever needed to flee the city I would have coin for provisions and bribes.

I had considered using some of it to invest in something but I needed to build my hidden nest egg first. Also, it just would not be practical to try any business dealings as a girl my age. And should the Baratheon royal family be cast down the city would likely be sacked and there went any local investment I made.

Not all my attempts met with success. I had hoped to form a relationship with some of the major players who ran my father's kingdom. I tried to meet with the Hand but Lord Arryn did not have time for me. My age and gender made things difficult to be taken seriously. My uncle Stannis was much the same. Uncle Renly did meet with me but for someone who sat on the Small Council as Master of Laws he really wasn't interested in discussing legal theory. He was personable but I don't think I made the impression I wanted. Alas I had no Silver Wings Assault Badge pinned on my dress proclaiming me as someone deserving of respect.

I did manage to meet with the Master of Whispers, Varys. He put on an air of affable mystery and was quite the conversationalist. It was interesting hearing him talk about his 'little birds' which was a clear euphemism for spies but he never did explain how they got their information. I questioned him about how frequently ravens were shot down and riders intercepted and he would only say more than we would like but less than one would think. I believed I made good impression on him but it wasn't like I was able to read someone like him.

Despite my missteps and lack of progress on making inroads to the movers and shakers of Kings Landing I was content. My personal security was elite and had a reputation for being honorable. My days were my own, to eat what I desired and read. Life truly was grand.

My general contentment was disturbed when my younger brother, Tommen, came into my room. His face was tear streaked. Great, I've always been terrible with kids. I read to Tommen bedtime stories occasionally to try to build some sibling bonds with him and was nice but I never understood how kids worked or what they needed. Now he was sobbing and had come to me.

"What is the matter little brother?"

"J-Joffrey, he, he." His sobs grew louder.

"Shh, its ok what did he do?" Over the years I had seen a disturbing trend in Joffrey. He was often cruel for no discernable reason.

"My fawn, he, he had it skinned. It was supposed to be my pet!"

I didn't really care about the animal; a fawn was a very odd choice for a pet anyway. But this was the perfect example of causing harm for no gain.

"I'm sorry Tommen, I'm sure we can get you another pet."

"He'll just kill it too! He hates me." More tears welled in his green eyes. "Why does he hate me?"

Ugh. I was so unequipped for this! I wanted to just hand this off to my mother to deal with.

"Your brother is going through changes and there is a substance in men when they start to become a man that leads to…" Yes, I tried to explain away Joffrey's cruelty and outright sadism as male puberty. Not my finest hour and Tommen didn't understand anyway.

Eventually blundering through the conversation, I somehow got him calmed down enough to deliver him to Cersei who must have mollified him somehow. After that painful experience, I needed to have some words with Joffrey and found him eating a meal in one of the private side rooms in the Royal Apartments with Sandor Clegane, his sworn shield. Sandor was a massive man with half his face burned off. Even among the elite of Westeros society he was tall. That was another odd thing about the Seven Kingdoms, there were an absurd amount of tall people. And despite my greater nutrition I was maybe a centimeter or two taller than I was in my second life by this age.

I approached. "Hello Joffrey, Sandor. May I join you?"

"No." Joffrey said directly. I sat down anyway.

"Are you deaf? I said no."

I stared at him. "Why do you torment our brother?"

Joffrey smirked. "He's a useless lump, it's fun getting him to run off weeping like a woman."

I continued to stare at him. "This is short sighted Joffrey. We are a family, we shouldn't be cruel to one another, mother has always taught us the only ones we can trust are each other. You need to stop."

Joffrey shook his head.

"I'm going to be king I can do what I want."

"Just like Aerys Targaryen, he thought he could do whatever he wanted because he was king."

Joffrey sat up straighter. "Are you threatening me sister?"

I was very tempted to do him some bodily harm. He had all the makings of becoming a Caligula. He could jeopardize my easy lifestyle with his antics. Not right now of course, not with his sworn shield staring at me. It would have to be later and in a way that wouldn't draw suspicion on me. Arranging an accident was tempting but altogether too risky and potentially destabilizing. I pushed those thoughts aside and stared and directly met his gaze and tried to reason with him.

"We all have different talents. Uncle Stannis knows the seas, I know my histories and you know how to fight." Well, that was a bit of a lie he was middling at best with the sword, though the other boys his age wisely let him win. "Kings are not all powerful, if they abuse their subjects, they will face disloyalty and rebellion. History is filled with examples; the Mad King was just the latest example."

"Then I'll kill the traitors."

"Even if we accept that you would be successful. The realm will bleed and it will destroy your tax base! Save your cruelty for enemies who deserve it, I promise you there will be many, and you will want your family at your side."

My brother's gaze drifted away from eye contact. "My father never worries about counting coppers and neither will I. Now leave you annoying wench."

One of the more frustrating conversations I've been a part of. It reminded me of our temporary victory when the Republicans faked their surrender and I couldn't make High Command see reason. Raging then had accomplished nothing and raging now would do the same. And yet I needed him to understand what he had done to Tommen was not acceptable.

"This will not happen again Joffrey."

The boy squirmed under my stare. "I will do what I want and you can't do anything to stop me. Maybe I'll skin the stupid horse the Imp got you next."

I just stared at him.

"Now LEAVE. Dog, get her away from here."

The Hound stood up from his chair and loomed over me.

I continued to stare at Joffrey. I had put Joffrey's sworn shield in an awkward position. Laying hands on me was dangerous for him, I was royalty. He was attempting to intimidate me into leaving on my own accord. That would not be happening.

"Its time to go Princess." He rasped, his voice sounding even more abrasive than normal. I of course ignored him and continued staring at my brother who was now practically flinching from my gaze.

"DRAG HER AWAY DOG!" He screeched.

Sandor gave a growl, partially of frustration and partially to scare me.

I merely continued to stare at the now red-faced Joffrey. My brother needed to know that his will was not sacrosanct. This was a lesson for him, while he may one day inherit the crown from our father, he was not in command of me now.

Joffrey slammed his fist on the table. "NOW!"

His shouting had caused a stir and Cersei came in with Ser Meryn Trant behind her.

"What is going on here?" She looked at the scene her green eyes flashing with irritation and surprise.

Ser Trant moved forward and Sandor backed away and returned to Joffrey's side with a scowl.

Joffrey was shaking. "She threatened me!"

Cersei looked at me and I shook my head. "Joffrey was acting foolish and I was advising him that tormenting Tommen was not a good idea. He requested I leave but I was not done speaking with him. He then ordered Clegane to drag me away."

The Queen's face maintained most of its composure. I said most, which meant my mother was quite angry. "Clegane, Trant, out."

"Your Grace" they intoned and left.

"Joffrey my brave and bold lion, save your roar for our enemies not your siblings."

"She refused to obey me and threatened me!"

Cersei looked at me. "Myrcella my lioness you only sought to protect your younger brother but you mustn't try to fight Joffrey, he is the heir to the Seven Kingdoms. If he tells you to leave his presence, I expect you to do so."

"As you command mother, shall I do so now?" On the surface this was quite unfair however I knew what the Queen did was rarely obvious. She was going to use this situation to make Joffrey be better in the future.

"Run along now we'll talk later."

I inclined my head left the room and closed it behind me. The Kingsguard and the Hound were a respectful distance away from the door but still guarding the hall.

"You're a fool Princess. He won't forget that." Sandor rasped.

"That was the point Sandor."

"You play a dangerous game." He snarled; voice low as he loomed over me for a second time.

"Enough." Ser Meryn said and physically interposed himself, again. Despite being outsized by the Hound by over half a foot Ser Meryn was unflappable and the Hound again was forced to back down.

There never was any real danger. The Hound would be beheaded if he tried to brawl with the Kingsguard or lay hands on me. His bark was worse than his bite. The mummery of the show was pure intimidation and it would not work.

All in all, it had been a good day. Joffrey had received the message I intended to send and I was certain my mother would reinforce it. Just as I was sure she had already settled Tommen down. Cersei kept the Seven Kingdoms in line, there was no doubt she could do the same for her own family!