Chapter 19
"You are the lone O'Hare survivor?" Lincoln asked, holding his breath. He had known about that incident. Adam had briefed him about it while everyone was still at the White House.
"You heard about me?" Caroline's cheeks reddened, and it reminded him how long it had been since he'd kissed her. Too fucking long. But he'd let his pride override his lust these last three weeks. He'd been unable to protect her. He'd failed at the very mission that had kept him going. And he'd gotten shot by a bunch of fucking amateurs. There was nothing worse to a man's ego than being unable to look after himself. Caroline had handled everything, and that had filled him with a bone-deep shame. His arm was getting stronger, and he'd soon be able to protect her again and prove that he was worthy of her.
"I'd only heard there had been a confirmed survivor. The CDC worker there reported back to the vice president, Adam. She called you 'the hope for all mankind.'"
"The hope for all mankind?" She blushed again. "I'm not the only survivor. You survived too."
He shrugged. He'd been lucky, that's all. He could have died a thousand times over the years, fighting for his country secretly, behind the scenes. This was just another brush with death. Lincoln had never wanted to claim recognition for any of that. He only wanted to find peace within himself and banish the demons of his past.
"What happened after the quarantine? I remember hearing that you were escorted to the research facility for testing."
"That was the plan," she said with a sigh. "I arrived at a private research hospital just outside Chicago. But I was only there a few weeks before Hydra-1 wiped out the staff. I was abandoned. I just woke up one morning in my room and could hear machines and alarms beeping. When I went outside to see what happened, I found that most of the staff had left and the rest were dying. Someone delivering supplies to the hospital was infected and spread the disease. It happened so fast."
"I know." He thought of those final days in the bunker, the way the disease had spread until only he and Adam were left.
Flashes of being back in that hallway, of seeing the mummified bodies of his friends, his team. Then later, hearing Adam weakly call his name. The sweat on his fingers as he raised the gun to his best friend's head. He would never vanquish that demonit would linger like a stain upon his soul forever.
"It'll be nightfall soon. We should stop." Caroline's voice broke through the rush of dark thoughts clouding his mind.
"Look for a motel off the highway," he said, glad to have something to focus on other than the past.
They watched for signs, and when he spotted a decent-looking Holiday Inn outside of Kansas City, she took it. They parked in the lot next to the other cars, making sure their vehicle didn't stand out. Then they unloaded their bags.
"We can come back for the chickens," Lincoln said.
They took only their backpacks first, and he entered ahead of her, pistol out but not raised. The hotel was dark, the chairs in the lobby overturned, and the minibar behind the desk had been emptied. Ice cream had melted into hardened puddles on the floor. Basic medicine, razors, and shampoo bottles were still there. He touched his beard, considering shaving it. What would Caroline like? Beard? No beard?
"Let's go to the second floor," he said. He would come back for those supplies later.
"Why?" she asked in a hushed whisper.
"Tactical advantage," he explained. "We can still leave quickly if there's a fire, but we aren't as vulnerable as we would be on the first floor. Most scavengers look for a quick and easy hit. Break into the ground floor, check those rooms, and move on."
"Oh, got it." Caroline adjusted her backpack and followed him as he led them to the staircase used by employees.
He found an empty room and checked the door adjoining to a neighboring room was locked on their side. Then he went back to their door and checked the sliding bolt lock.
He noticed her watching and cocked a brow. "What?"
She grinned. "Nothing." She shrugged casually, which would have pissed him off if it had been anyone else. But with her it was actually kind of cute, not annoying like he thought it would be. He didn't press her on what she was thinking. He just liked knowing she was acting, well normal. Normal, considering. Like a normal woman would when she teased a man.
"So this is our place tonight, huh?" The way she said "our place" made him grin back at her.
"Yeah." He nodded at the two twin beds. He had hoped for a king, but he didn't want to kick down every door in the place looking for one.
Caroline collapsed onto one bed and dropped her bag at her feet. "God, I wish we could watch TV right now." She flopped back onto the bed, presenting herself as an all-too-tempting offering.
"There are a lot of things I wish I could do now," he muttered, cursing his sore but mostly healed arm. "What did you like to watch?"
"Sitcoms." She sighed, gazing longingly the dark TV. "I know they were super cheesy, but I loved them."
"Why?" His curiosity was piqued. He'd always like documentaries.
"I like to laugh. And no matter how bad a day you had, watching those shows would make you laugh. I haven't really laughed since" Her gaze grew just a little bit distant, and the pain in her eyes made his teeth clench.
"What was your favorite show?" Lincoln eased down on the bed beside her, wanting to touch her but hesitating. He'd spent the last few weeks pushing her away because he'd felt weak and ashamed. Now he didn't know how to get back to where he'd been with her. So he did what he and his men did on their downtime: shared stories, memories, talked about favorite foods and favorite movies. It worked well as a reprieve from the fear and anxiety around them.
"There was this one, about an office with all these employees. This one character was super obnoxious, so this other character pulled pranks on him." Caroline was smiling now, and the brightness of it would have knocked him over if he hadn't already been sitting down.
"What kind of pranks?"
Caroline spent the next hour reenacting about a dozen episodes and somehow managing to spoil all the funny parts until they were both laughing. He couldn't help it. She had a sexy, happy laugh. A laugh a man like him never got tired of hearing.
"I guess what I loved most was how the people were normal, like me. They faced normal problems, but the show made it amusing and true. Like the office romances. It's hard not to fall for someone you work with, someone you're close to on a daily basis." Her face reddened and she looked away, and he had a feeling she was thinking about them and how closely intertwined their lives had become since they'd met.
People bonded in times of danger. People became lovers, soldiers became bands of brothers, strangers became parents to orphaned children. It was human nature to take care of each other. But contagious diseases were different. They drove people apart. They were terrifying because they were invisible and could be anywhere, on anyone. He could still hear Adam on the radio in the bunker, giving the last few messages of hope to those still listening.
"We must never forget who we are. We must care for each other. We must put others before ourselves. The nations of the world can survive this if we stay true to the only cause that matters nowthe survival of the human race. Together."
Lincoln wasn't sure he believed any of that, but he'd believed in Adam and would have followed him to the ends of the earth. In a way, he had. Now he would follow Caroline. He saw that same hope in her and that belief in humanity in her eyes. It stirred something deep within him, something he had thought long dead.
"Rest and let me get the chickens. I'll put them in the room across the hall."
She stretched and yawned. "You sure?"
Fuck, she was adorable. "Yeah, get some sleep."
She scooted back on the bed and lay down on her side, falling fast asleep. He envied her that. He had a soldier's ability to sleep just about anywhere and anytime, but he never slept deeply the way she did. He woke with every creak and groan of the places where he slept.
Lincoln returned to the car and carried the pet carriers with the chickens upstairs, placing them in a room across the hall, which was also empty. He let them out of their carriers and closed the door to keep them inside. He would check for eggs tomorrow. Then he entered the room he shared with Caroline.
She was still asleep. He pulled back the covers of the other bed, and then removed her shoes and socks and tucked her in. He checked the bathroom; it had running water. Despite his fatigue, he wanted to collect supplies while he could. The front desk's cash drawer had been forced open by a crowbar and emptied. Lincoln slipped behind the desk and reached the shelves of bottles of Tylenol, ibuprofen, and other basic drugs. He grabbed a stack of razors and a couple boxes of condoms and shaving cream. Yeah, he knew he was being presumptuous for getting more condoms, but he never wanted to have an "Oh shit, where's the condoms?" moment if something happened between them. The last thing he needed was worrying about bringing a kid into this fucked-up world.
He searched the kitchen and found a large store of powdered eggs, which had a shelf life of five to ten years, and an endless supply of those tiny single-serving cereal boxes. Those were gold. He would have to pack every one of them into the car. It would be a tight fit, but they could eat Froot Loops like kings.
By the time he got back to the room, it was dark. He settled in the bed opposite Caroline. He was afraid if he tried to sleep next to her tonight, he might do something he'd regret. She was so goddamn irresistible, and she had no clue. This wasn't just about them being some of the last people on earththis was about her, who she was, how she reminded him about what was still good in the world. She was like a bottle of hundred-year-old whiskey to an alcoholic trying to make it one day sober.
He swept his small Maglite over their room before he turned it off, wanting to make sure all was well before he let his guard down. Who knew what monsters lurked in the shadows outside, waiting?