My Life

'You know, there's a saying that goes like this "The world is a beautiful place", and yet how can something beautiful be so cruel towards me.

For as long as I can remember, the world as always been cruel and unforgiving to me. Nothing ever goes my way in this accursed world.

I'm in a period of my life where I'm a bit lost. In fact I don't even know if I'm sad because in the presence of others I put up a smile, I laugh and talk, but as soon as I'm alone in my own home, I feel no emotion. Nothing.

I simply find myself face to face with myself.

I dive into my thought searching for a spark of clarity.

I try to understand this inner emptiness, this absence of emotion that sets in when distraction fade, and I realize that silence and solitude are necessary. They force introspection.

Yes! It's uncomfortable.

Yes! It's confusing.

Maybe it's my mind way of telling me to take some time to reflect on myself.

And I've come to realize that this apparent calm is better than the needles conversation we engage in with others just to make time pass by.

To me, I find serenity in solitude.

Although there's no need for you to recommend therapy for me. I'm ok, it's just that...'

My train of thought took a pause as I once again had to rub my eyes.

I was both in shock and fearful.

'How the hell can a twelve year old kid write this?!'

I turned my attention and observed he boy that was sitting in the chair opposite me.

The boy looked frail, making me to believe he could collapse any second, he had a pale skin that made me fear for his health. He had eyes that were as black as an abyss that held no emotion, instilling fear in those that look deep into them.

It was a little bit strange for me to regard a kid in this manner, but damn he was giving me the creeps.

"Uhmm.... Damion, right?"

He nodded

"Listen, when the school tells you to write a brief essay about yourself, well, it expects someone your age to write things like "My favorite colour is blue""My favorite superhero is Spiderman". You know, things like that."

I raised a finger and pointed to the paper that he submitted.

"But what you've written is a little bit.... Uhmm.... How can I put it? Dispiriting."

After a brief pause, he replied.

"So sensei, what would you have me do?"

'Well, for starters I wasn't expecting this question.'

"Uh, nothing for now. I'm only telling you this for future cases. That's everything for now."

As he got up and turned to leave, I couldn't help but ask a question that has been in my mind since I started reading his report.

"Hey Damion, is everything ok with you?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned to me. He placed on his face a melancholy smile and replied

"Yes, everything is ok."

Having said that, his eyes went back to being enveloped in a deep darkness that made me truly pity him.

As the doors to the staff room closed, Andre, my fellow teacher came up to me.

"What was that about? Let me guess, another kid caught trying to peep in the girls restroom?"

I sighed and gazed at the paper still lying on my desk.

"Nah. Just another one of those inner turmoils teenagers we have nowadays."

With that said, I dismissed whatever might be transpiring in the little boy's mind.

'He'll get over it.' was what I thought. If only I knew how dead wrong I was.