Strange Beginnings

Within a shoddy house in a country called Australia there is a currently dangerous situation. In this shoddy house is a burglar, This burglar is quite famous for having already stolen countless stuff from different houses. This house is his new target since the owner is quite eccentric, The owner has recently bought multiple tools made out of pure gold and different gems. This would be his best heist possible if he can get away with this.

The burglar already has quite the loot since his bag is clearly filled with all sorts of stuff, Some ranging from a golden ring with glowing writing in the center, A white mask with two small horns at the top with two black eyes all along with a horned helmet that suspiciously looks similar to the one from Skyrim. This isn't all that is in his bag, He has a few other items that he has stolen and he can already tell he is going to live easily after this single raid.

The burglar is almost done with his looting, He has already raided nearly all of the rooms with only one room remaining. The room that is last is most probably the toilet room, However, there could still be something valuable hidden in there. After all, He has found a set of golden keys in the owners bathroom, Each of these golden keys have a different zodiac sign, The zodiac signs are blue and are at the handle shaped within a small white circle.

Having been excited for something else that is worth a lot of cash the burglar didn't waste time and directly opened the toilet room door, This is a decision he will regret for years to come. For his mind will be filled with constant terrors of the horrific sight that will befall his eyes.

Upon opening the toilet room door he is greeted by quite a strange and horrible sight, The toilet room only has enough room for someone to barely stretch their arms lengthwise, However, this is not the strange sight. The strange sight is the toilet... and what is sitting on the toilet.

The toilet appears as if it is made entirely emeralds, However, the toilet also has a slight golden and purple sheen that sometimes flashes across it. The toilet almost looks luminescent, Of course, The burglar would think he was hallucinating if it were not for the man sitting upon the toilet.

Sitting atop the toilet is a horrendous sight, There is a grown man wearing thigh-high leggings, These leggings are attached to a black skirt that has slight golden detail along with two red straps, the leggings are attached to the skirt by two straps on each leg.

On his feet are what look like your typical shinobi sandals, Of course this would be slightly better than the skirt if it weren't for the bandages that go from his toes all the way up until the bottom of his knees.

For a shirt the man is wearing a half-cut black cloak, This black cloak is far better than the previously mentioned items however this cloak also has it's own little detail. The half-cut black cloak has golden trimming along with a small bullhead insignia on his right chest. The cloak has the hoodie part down.

The man also is wearing a long scarf that looks as if it is made out of scales, The scarf is fully white apart from the black lines on the scarf. The scarf hangs from around the mans neck and slightly below his chin before draping over the back of his shoulders.

This isn't the end of the insanity since the man is also wearing a strange mask. This mask looks like half of the mans face is pure black, This mask also covers up his right eye leaving only his left eye open for view. The mask has a wide open mouth detail that looks as if it is constantly grinning eerily. The mans left eye isn't even normal either since in his left eye is a maroon red eye color along with a small bird insignia that is pink. The eye looks hypnotizing and the burglar certainly would have been staring if it weren't for the giant staff in the mans right hand.

In the mans right hand is a tall pure golden staff that looks as if 7 golden snakes are coiling around the staff, The snakes all converge at the head of the staff and inside of the snake mouths are a few colored gems. The staff also is in a strange shape, with it coiling around itself and having a large bit of golden stick out, as if it is a branch. At the bottom of the staff are three blue orbs that appear as if they are pure sapphire. The seven gem colors are, Light blue, Dark blue, Dark green, Dark purple, Red and Yellow.

Sitting behind the man is a life-sized doll, The doll is wearing white boots that have black and orange detail at the bottom. The doll is also wearing black leggings that appear to go from the inside of the boots to all the way up into the skirt. The skirt is a pure red color with a black belt that goes all the way around her waist, the belt ends at the center of the dolls stomach and ends with two golden clips that are clipped on the skirt.

The shirt of the doll is also pure red, however, this time there are 6 black buttons that are on the slight inside of the shirt. The shirt also has long sleeves that go all the way down until the bare edge of the dolls forearm and right before it touches the actual hand.

The shirt has a small orange tie that is only a few inches long, Behind this orange tie is a small patch of white around the neck area. The collar of the shirt also goes slightly up the dolls neck, as if it is a turtle-necked shirt. The shirt also has a few other minor details on the side and back of the shirt.

The doll itself has long pink hair that goes down to its waist, The fringe of the pink hair ends slightly above the dolls eyebrows, as if it is perfectly cut. The doll also has two long strands of hair that goes down to her mid breasts until they end. The hair flows freely and softly, as if it is the silkiest thing in existence. The actual appearance of the doll overall is stunning.

The doll has light red eyeliner that goes only barely slightly around the outer side of the yes. The eyes themselves are emerald green and appear as if they are the purest of gems. On the top of the dolls head are two small horns, The two small horns are blood red in color and are only around 1 inch long. Around the horns is a small white device that has two glowing lights slightly beside the horns.

The burglar, seeing such a strange sight froze in shock. They both stood and sat there, staring at each other in different emotions. The man with annoyance and the burglar with shock and slight fear. The man appeared as if he slightly lowered his head to have shadows slightly cover his eyes, He then spoke after fixing his 'dynamic entry'.

The man then spoke out in a cold and calm voice, "Greetings, and welcome to my domain."

The burglar having been forcefully pulled from his shock, appeared as if he was punched, as the burglar slightly flinched backwards when he heard the man speak.

The man sitting upon the Terra toilet smirked slightly as if he perfectly expected this, "Just according to Keikaku..." The man then paused as if he was satisfied with something before he spoke up once again. "It is fine if you do not wish to speak, For my time has already come."

The burglar looked at the man as if he was a freak. The burglar slightly shook his head in fear before slowly backing away.

Of course, The burglar isn't afraid of the man because of the current situation, his strange clothes or even any of the stuff around him. Instead, He is afraid of the man because of he the man is specifically.

The man flashed his slightly cold eyes before smirking briefly, "Hmph, As expected of someone of my standing."

"Anyway..." The man stood up and let go of the staff. Yet, the staff stayed there, as if some invisible force is holding it up. The man then walked towards the burglar before reaching for something underneath his black half-cloak, He pulled out a specially made pistol.

This pistol is special because it had a small red magic circle on the side, It appears as if it is a completely normal handgun. However, The red magic circle is made up of over 50 peoples different blood. The gun itself is forged from the iron within his own blood, along with the blood of his victims. The only single bullet within the gun is made up of Painite, The rarest gem in the world. It took him many years of planning to get even this small amount of painite, This single red Painite bullet cost him years of planning, thieving and killing.

The man then handed the gun to the burglar unexpectedly and said, "Shoot me!"

The burglar, having already accepted his fate was suddenly shocked to hear this. The burglar cautiously and slightly looked to his sides to see if he can leg it out of there, but the man in front of him isn't just a nobody. He is the worlds greatest thief, and killer. He obviously would have safe-hazards in place. To the burglars right, the main bedroom is currently filled with small triple spike balls all over the floor, as if that wasn't enough there is also a whole lot of wire. from the ankle and up within the room. Even 3 meters away, he could tell that this wire would easily slice off his feet.

The burglar, left with no choice did his last resort. He quickly went to tackle the man, surprisingly, the man didn't even try to resist. The man let go of the gun he was wielding and fell backwards willingly.

Now even more confused, The burglar decided it's either do or die. Since this man before him has already raided the most secure of museums, buildings and even the White House. The burglar hurriedly reached for the gun the man dropped, quickly held it properly and shot the man straight between the eyebrows.

...

Left in pure shock, The burglar sat there questioning... Why was the man smiling as if he won when he died?

<-o~o-><-o~o->

Author Note!

So I decided to do a fanfiction based around my stupidity. I don't even know why the fuck I did what i did in this chapter. Why did I make the MC wear astolfo's battle skirt? Why? It is probably because it is 4am right now and I haven' slept in 32 hours now...

Also, I know the start of this fanfiction was pure fucking stupid, BUT! This stupidity will only be in this ONE SINGLE CHAPTER! The future chapters won't have the MC running around as a kardashian on crack.

If you enjoyed, Leave a comment. Also, I am curious as to if any of you got all of the references in this chapter. I put a lot, so hopefully at least some of you did.