The Reason for the Determination (VII)

"You look like you want to ask me something"

"You really can't read my mind?"

"It's a secret. Go ahead, ask me anything you want"

"Your powers, more specifically those of a Seeker. Do they consume some kind of energy?"

"Each Object possesses diverse abilities, yet they all reside in a common factor to activate. Willpower"

"Willpower?

"Willpower, determination, perseverance, you can call it whatever you want. Basically, as long as you keep a firm resolve in your artifact, you can activate it as many times as you see fit"

"Sounds simple enough"

"It is. If you use it excessively however, don't expect to come out unscathed"

"Is there a price to pay?"

"If you use a lot of perseverance, eventually you will think about whether the end of that determination is worth it. It comes from your emotions, which means that the stronger they are, the more power you will have. On the contrary, if you use too much willpower, your feelings will become unstable. You will find it more difficult to continue believing in your ideals, and there will come a time when you will question whether all your actions to date are worth the effort invested. In the worst case scenario, your psyche may break down and you may lose something precious to you. Perhaps the day will come when you will have to consider what has more value in your life, whether to travel the road to a goal without ever reaching it, or to reach the goal without knowing the context of why you accomplished it in the first place. That is the eventual dilemma with which every Seeker must burden himself"

"Corneria..."

Could that be the reason why she seems so insensitive? Is her face that doesn't usually show any feelings a side effect of her Object's overuse of determination?

It is because of her manner and our conversations that I have come to realize that deep down she is a good person. It pains me to think that we will have to meet in a duel to the death. After my fight against Zeke I will reach the finals and I will face her if she wins, which I don't doubt.

If we had met in other circumstances we would surely be great friends...

I wonder, is there a chance to beat Zeke and get Maria back right away by avoiding a confrontation against her?

"Well, it's time for me to go" she said standing up and walking away. "Good luck in your next fight"

"Corneria, wait!" I shouted before she left. She turned around staring at me. "Is it necessary for us to fight each other? When I defeat Zeke you could help me look for Maria. This way-"

"I'm sorry, but our battle is inevitable. I must win this tournament no matter what. Asriel, I trust that you will also be able to do so and we will face each other in the finals"

"Why? If we do it, one of us will have to die... Is it really worth it? Why are you so determined to win?"

"..."

"Answer me!"

"... because I've long since forgotten my way. I don't remember how I got to where I am, or even the reason why I became a Seeker. I know it must have been for an important reason, but I just can't remember. Motivation is the only thing I have left. If I gather all the Objects I can remember something precious that lies lost, I trust I will"

There was a moment of pause and she raised her gaze to the distance, it seemed lost inside her mind.

"..."

I did not know how to respond and preferred not to say a word.

Then she stared at me, pointing her right hand at me.

"Asriel, of all those present you have the most interesting Object. Now that I have seen you fight, you have saved me from finding out how it works, I am very grateful. No doubt it will be of great use to me when I take it out of your hands in the finals. Don't lose before our fight, I want to have the honor of beating you when we meet again"

Then she kept walking and walked away until I lost sight of her.

"Corneria..."

There were no feelings reflected on her face when she said those words to me, though for sure what I felt emanating inside her was sadness. Her defiant voice was trying to make me hate her, to make me feel anger towards her person in order to facilitate the confrontation between the two of us.

But I could not do it, there is no way for me to hate her. I know deep down Corneria doesn't really feel that way either, she was saying that out loud to try to change her way of thinking, to convince herself that she was doing the right thing.

If our fight is inevitable, in that's the case...

No, I'll stop thinking about it. I know there will be a way to do it, I want to believe in that. Once I rescue Maria I will see how to convince her to avoid conflict.

With that in mind I'll rest the few minutes I have left before my next fight, where I'll face that guy...