Westeros? Great I needed a vacation

"So...I'm dead?"

"Yep"

"And...it's your fault?"

"Yep"

"So…..what happens now?"

Across from me sits a man in a casual business suit in front of a pretty swanky dark hardwood desk with papers piled up all over it, the rest of the "office" it what I'm going to call it is just white...I can't tell if there is even walls…

It's kind of hard to describe the man, it's kind of like his face keeps changing but i know that's not it…it's hard to describe, but the general feeling is a guy who looks a stressed out middle age man….white?….no that's not quiet right….we'll I guess it doesn't matter

"Look fella, I killed you before your time, you were supposed to die mid Burrito at the age of 67 from a heart attack... to be honest it's a miracle that you would have lasted that long, between the smoking, drinking and the diet of a 20 year old….."

"Meh, I liked to smoke drink and eat good food… I might have lived a few more years but what would have been the point of all of it wasn't doing what I wanted…"

"Well I suppose it matters little now….anyways this whole thing….uggghhh, this going to set me back centuries of paper work at least….listen….From what I read on your file, you know what fanfictions and reincarnations are all about, is pretty close to that….so get two smallish wishesand a small boon…..yes you can choose what you look like, yes you keep your memories…no you can't choose the world you go too and no you can't go back to your original world"

" why not a world I choose?…..I also figured I couldn't go back home….and why am I so calm about all this….not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth here but I feel like I would normally be a little more panicky about this"

"Well starting from your second question, it's because I'm suppressing your fear and anxiety….trying to save time so I can get this over with….and as for your first, well I could give you the whole run down of my jurisdiction and how this whole thing works but I won't…because it takes to long and frankly I don't want to…the world you'll be going to is planetos, or game of thrones of you're more familiar…"

Oh god….I'd have to shit in a bucket and hunt my own food…I modern man I can't do that!! Where do you even hunt McDonald's…..this going to be rough….but the wishes help….hmmm

"Can I have a few minutes to think through some ideas?"

" knock yourself out….I'll just get started on this paperwork while I wait *sigh*"

Well… let's think this through….stuck in the Middle Ages with frost necromancer zombies, dragons and bullshit magic…..not to mention the game of thrones bullshit….I'll do what I can to avoid it…definitely want to be up north…I'll have to become a lord….the only person I could see not being a total piece of shit is Ned stark…but how far would that go?

But I shouldn't Assume everyone is how they were in the show, never read the books but it can't be to different from the show can it?

Let's just assume it is….it I really would rather just take a piece of land up north and rule decently away from all the fuckery that's certain to happen…..but I'll need personal power and knowledge to build some semi modern shit and prosper….I watched those Indian dudes build mini palaces with a stick in the mud but I don't think that's gonna fly here…

So maybe use my boon on knowledge on building? Let's just stick to that for now….ok, so my wishes I guess….

-An unspecified amount of time later-

" hey g man I think I know what I want to do, but I have a question first…"

He has been doing paperwork this entire time…but suddenly looks up with a tired look..

"Oh good, spit it out so you can be on your way"

"So for wish number one I figured I'll need personal strength and resistance to any poison and be fairly adaptive to any situation so…..I'd like to be reincarnated as the space wolves primarch from warhammer 40k"

"No"

"What?….,why?"

"You do remember I said smallish wishes?….a astartes primarch is not a smallish wish….even if you combined your 2 wishes and boon together it still wouldn't be enough….I'm a god above those realms yes….but even I think that whole universe is bullshit"

"Well what about just a regular spacewolf?"

" it CAN be done but you wouldn't be getting any power armour or weapons…"

"No weapons at all? I guess my wish for unlimited ammo is out the window…"

"Yes it is….I can make you a regular spacewolf space marine minus the armour and weapons…"

" oh come on….how about at least give me 2 compressed Valerian steel axes….and I guess I'll make my own armour….also….it was never mentioned in anything I read about space marines having any sort of reproductive systems and I really wanna keep my junk in good working order….and since there's no space marine armour would I be able to avoid having those injection Ports all over my body?"

"Fine….2 compressed valerian steel axes that will be sized to the body you design…and no there won't be any ports on your body as it will be brand new…"

" one more thing….I won't go full furry will I? The spacewolves sometime go full furry with the genome mix up…"

" there will be no "full furry" you'll be completely stable"

Well, no bolter or power swords but I suppose valerian steel with have to do….not perfect but still pretty good….can't be poisoned…killing me is near impossible….and I would be a monster on nearly any battlefield….a one man army in fact….actually

"Not to try and push my luck but would I be able to squeeze a space marines battle experience into that wish?"

"Uuuggghh…fine…..but it will take awhile to clear away the trauma and brainwashing after you come back…."

"Come back?…..come back from what?"

*snap*

The man snapped his fingers and….why is it so cold all of a sudden….and why are my hands so small…..

I look around notice the white room has been replaced by another kind of white….snow….and as I look around me I see mountains….what the fuck is going on…

*THUD THUD THUD*

Suddenly the ground starts to rumble with what sounds like hammering foot steps coming closer, and as I start to panic more than I already was a shadow forms over me…

"Looks like we have new blood looking to join us brothers…."

"He looks sturdy for a pup….the emperor seems to be smiling down on us today brothers"

I turn around to see absolutely gigantic humanoid looking men made of mettle covered in metallic scripture like papers and animal furs…..spacewolves….those are space marines…..I only asked for battle experience….oh god I'm in 40k….I'm so fucked….

-back with the god-

"Finally done….that took nearly 5 centuries but I'm all caught up, it's nearly time for lunch….but I'm pretty sure that mortal will be back soonish….might as well get started on-"

*pop*

Oh he's looking around confused, I should let him know what's happene-

"DIE XENO SCUM!!!!! YOU TAINT THE MAJESTY OF THE EMPEROR BY YOUR MERE EXISTENCE, I WILL SEE THAT RECTIFIED!!!"

He "attacked" me the moment he popped back and with a quick *snap* he's out cold again…..time to do a soul cleanse..

-back to mc pov-

"Uuuuggghhhhh…..what….where am I….I was….fighting….we were ambushed by the Eldar? What is happening?"

"Good to see you back"

I look up to see a man….he's a god right?….the only true god was the emperor right? No that doesn't sound right….I was….oh….he sent me to-

"Feeling better?"

"feeling better?…..FEELING BETTER!? YOU SENT ME TO THE 40k VERSE, I FOUGHT UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS FOR OVER 500 YEARS!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!"

It's strange though….I spent only 30 years on Tera…earth….and 500 years planet jumping to fight things that shouldn't exist within any reality but for some reason my 30 years on ter- earth seem more prominent….

"Well you did ask for the battle experience of a space marine"

" I meant like just implant it into my brain or something…..Fuck me dead that was horrible"

" battle experience doesn't work like that I'm sorry….you have to experience it yourself…so while you were gone I caught up on my paperwork which was good….I am getting a bit peckish though so if you could finish your wishes and kindly move on id be most grateful"

….I don't….whatever…..I pretty much just want to go on a permanent vacation and relax for the rest of my days….or new days? Whatever I'm done with all this shit…

"Fine…just give me knowledge of all the tech I've been around the past 500 years and-"

"No can do"

I grit through my teeth in now familiar seething rage "why?"

"Same reason as you don't get power armour and a bolter….best I can do is general knowledge of everything on your "home" world….you won't "know" everything….even with your enhanced brain it would be too much…..think of it like an inbuilt google program into your new brain….think about what you want and you'll just "know it"…."

"Fine….."

Still not so bad….been a long time since I had any form of comfort so it would be a nice change of pace I guess….not looking to make westeros some grimdark battle world anyways….

"I guess for the minor boon I guess I'd like an inventory"

" I can do that….but it will only be 100 meters cubed….which is still a good amount for anything you might need…"

"Does it have time freeze?"

"Time freeze? No…but time passes at 1/10th the speed….but it will keep food cold or warm depending on what's place in it…only food though…."

Meh seems fair I guess…..let's just get this over with

"When would you like to be placed into the timeline…"

"Just after the rebellion and just after Ned stark handed me sea dragon point for my excellence in the war…."

"Done….your background will pop into your head when you get down there…"

" oh so I can skip that but not the 500 years fighting xeno horrors….wait….me being an astartes won't attract the chaos gods or the warp will it?"

" no don't fret over that….you won't see anything front that universe again….just go live your life as you see fit….."

Phew…..westeros couldn't handle that shit….honestly I don't think any other universe could….but that's in the past….somehow…..I don't get how it's in the past so fast especially since it felt like I just died….but whatever…..last thing on the agenda is my new body I guess

"Oh and being an astartes you wont be able to be under 8 feet tall so….yeah, you'll have to deal with that…."

"Whatever….not the worst thing that could happen…I'll be eye to eye with the mountain….but as for looks….to be honest I'm just tired and want to get this over with….it's been hundreds of years since I've been able to just sleep….and I'd like to get to it as quickly as I can….as for looks just make me a realist version of Alex Louis Armstrong from fma with black hair instead of blond….bald will be fine…I don't need that little tuft of hair…..that should be it right?"

"Yeah that's no issue….so now I guess it's time to see you off….and me to get some lunch….good luck with your new….new new life I guess….."

With a snap of his fingers I black out…

Time to take a vacation on westeros…

———-

Forgive any grammatical errors, I'm just kind of spit balling an idea….

Leave a review or comment and let me know if you like the premise of this story

It's going to be a lot of kingdom building and chill after his 500 years of carnage and nightmare enduring war he was forced into

Just typical got fanfiction but the mc is basically unkillable….he will steer clear of as much drama as he can…might save ned if we get to it who knows….