Baptised axes

The man who steps out of the crowd of glorified pirates is named Theon from what my whacky cannibalism knowledge provided me, funny enough the guys flesh I partook ins name is also Theon…..actually one third of the crew is named Theon…..

But while I was caught up in my own mental tangent of how annoying it is westeros has like maybe 20 names for millions of people, Theon….he's a captain so maybe I call him Theon prime?

" well well well, look what we have here boys…..a thrall waiting to be taken"

Wow….

"First of all…. Loving the confidence buddy!, you're really portraying an image of what I did just now was no big deal to your men…and second…..you and your men did see what I just did right?"

" aye, we saw what you just did…..but it doesn't really matter now does it freak? You're surrounded and outnumbered…..so be a good boy and surrender so we won't have to hurt ya to bad…..you'll make a fine thrall…"

"Fair enough, but counter offer"

It's not that I'm sick of punching pirates to death but I really should use a weapon, I mean that's what they were made for right? And I happened to have two decent enough weapons sitting in my inventory waiting for their grand debut

With a thought two identical axes appeared, one in each hand, straight out of thin air which spooked the iron born a tad if their whispers and occasional back step in fear suggests.

The axes had quiet a bit of heft to them, maybe 100ish kilos a piece? I'm pretty sure valerian steel is supposed to be light?…..oh right I did ask for compressed axes didn't I… turns out god was a bit of a bro when he made these things, these things are nasty….not power sword nasty….but I'll make it work..

The axes looked like they were made out of a darkened steel with some sort of beasts fangs somehow riveted into the back of the blades head, a dark brown leather covers the handle for some impressive grip material and the blades themselves were impressive with edges keener then anything i could imagine someone from this world being able to craft..

I give a few test swings to test them out and they fit just right in my hands….each axe was big enough to warrant to be called a 2 handed axe alone, and I'm sure any normal human wouldn't be able to wield them properly…maybe a giant could?

But I decided I wasted enough time and step forward at a good pace to show Theon prime my new axes, he already was in a stance to "combat" me but without worry much about that I brought my right axe across my chest and over my left shoulder and swung down at him.

To his credit he did bring his sword up fast enough to try and block my strike, but then again it's more of a casual swing for me….. I expected a 'ting!' Followed by screaming of Theon for having a shattered arm trying to block a casual swing….but no….there was nothing….did I miss somehow?

Only a second later was there a 'ting!' But looking down I notice Theon primes blade of on the ground in two halves….weird though I didn't feel any resistance at all….like none, literally felt the same as my test swings through the air…

As I stood in my confusion I could hear a wet, bubbling choking sound as I look up from the blade halves and notice blood leaking from his lips…and all of a sudden there's a wet slushing and slurping and a plop…..I split him in half from shoulder to waist as well…..I mean that's not really hard to do with even a normal weapon but usually I feel some resistance….but I guess my axes are pretty neat…

That seemed to sober up the rest of the crew as the realised I'm as big and scary as I look, so they throw caution to the wind and charge me all at once, weapons drawn ready to take my life…..oh fellas….if only it was that easy…

But with me moving my grip to near the butt of my now freshly baptised axes for some extra reach I start mowing down these goofy goobers with 3-7 men dying every time I swing an axe…

It only took the iron born about 30 seconds or more precisely 6 blade swings to realise just how fucked they actually were and started to either scatter….a few geniuses even tried to get around me to board my new boats…..I just assume they see that as their safe space because those boats aren't going anywhere dig into the sand like that

But before they could taint my new sea vessels with their dirty boots I separated them from their lousy lives until about 6 remained.

Who at that point realised that fighting was hopeless, running was hopeless, honestly it was just a hopeless situation to be in so they dropped their weapons and kneeled and the first called out

" I wish to take the black!!"

Which was follow by a few "me too's" that rounded up the numbers of iron born left alive…

But honestly I had to much to do to be bothered with taking pirates to the wall, and I reckon these fellas probably killed a few people in my new town so I'm thinking letting the people blow off some steam on their attackers would be good for morale.

I noticed quiet a few people are hiding behind the shacks these people call houses watching how things played out….

"Alrighty then….on your belly with your hands held together behind your backs, if I see your hands leave each other for any reason I'll be stomping your head into mush"

I portrayed as much of an authoritative air and voice as I could, which was pretty authoritative since I'm pretty sure a few people behind the shacks did what I asked, well my size alone is intimidating enough but my voice when I want it to be can be just as terrifying…. Centuries of leading imperial forces into the meat grinder is finally paying off.

All the still breathing iron born complied and got down onto their bellies with arms locked behind their backs while then townsfolk who were on the ground realised that order wasn't for them and looked a little embarrassed by their response.

The sound of galloping horses signalled the arrival of will and my horse bound crew….hopefully they left a few people behind to watch the caravan, all my stuffs in those wagons…

But as expected, will was the first on the scene…..I would like to say his entrance was majestic or dignified, but it really wasn't….he's only just learned to ride a horse at a trot, He's flailing around like a fish out of water on top of that poor beast….but even as terrible as he is at riding he was still the first to arrive, which reinforces my thinking of him being my right hand man.

"Are you alright m'lord!? I got here as soon ad I could, I've never seen anything move as fast as you did, even the horses couldn't keep up!"

The rest of my guys show up but stay silent and just start roping up the iron born…..not sure where they got the rope from?….

"Aye lad, I'm alright, take a few of the boys and head around town to let the people know their new lord is here and he wants to let 'em know what's going to happen from here on out, and take these iron born to a jail or whatever they have here and have 6 men watch them at all times...and get someone to stack the bodies of the dead iron somewhere away from the village, don't forget the dead on the ship…..oh also check the ship to see what's on there, these pirates probably got some booty in there and it's all mine now….I'm gonna head back to the caravan to make sure it's gets to town alright"

"Yes m'lord!"

Yeah, gonna have to train this kid up properly to be my 2nd in command so I can pawn off all my work onto him.

I make it back to the caravan quickly enough and check up on everything, everyone is fine if a not little confused at what's going on and I just told em to wait till we get to the village for an explanation which they seemed to accept without any trouble.

Roughly an hour later our convoy moseys into town with our wagons, cattle and people, and it's already looks like the bodies are cleaned up and stacked just outside the village which alarmed some of crew, but nothing a few "she'll be right"s couldn't fix as we made our way to the docks….well dock is a strong word…. It's nailed together driftwood in the water…

Anyways, the wagons all slow up and the people are started to gather with my guys who seemed to have let them know the basics of what's going on as they have calmed down, not that you don't see the odd sobs here and there but that's to be expected, people died after all.

I don't really have anything to stand on to make a speech….. the wagons would break under my weight, as would the horses….well good thing im tall I guess…

So as everyone has now taken notice of me and has made a half circle as I stand in front of a shanty shack I begin my pitch.