A Simple Ass Camp Story

Do you like a shorter story? Do you like main characters that swear like a fucking sailor? Then this is the story for you mother fricker! Now... Let the story... BEGIN!

When a person goes camping, they usually love every bit of it, George Vernon, the focus of this story… Was the opposite, he hated the very idea of camping. Of course, he only went camping once in his life and that was because his father dragged him and he ended up spending ninety-nine percent of the time in an RV. However, now he's an adult and whenever a person at work asked him if he wanted to go with them camping he immediately made up some kind of excuse like "I have a thing… Yeah, a thing. Sorry, I would if I didn't have a thing too do." What he actually meant was "I hate you and you're fucking family, so why would I want too join you on your fucking camping trip, fuck you and fuck camping!" Or something like that, he tended too be a lot more vulgar inside his head. Although, as pent up as he was, he just couldn't tell anyone what he actually thought. Well, that was until today.

He came home one day and he had a particularly hard day at work, and it just so happens that today was the day his friends decided too throw him a surprise party. "Surprise!" They said the second he opened his door, he jumped back and looked at all of his friends in shock, for the first time in his young adult life… He just snapped "Get. The… FUCK! Out of my house!" His friends blinked at him, his best friend Jerry blinked a few times, he didn't really know why he hated everyone at this moment in time, I mean… All he saw was red at this point Jerry spoke up "Uh… Happy birthd-!" George then pointed towards the door "All of you out!" George yelled, imagining kicking all of his friends asses in his head. Jerry and a few of his friends mumbled but didn't say a word as they exited, he sighed as slammed the door followed by a few swear words at himself for snapping followed by a very long nap.

A few hours later he received a very loud knock on the door, he stumbled out of bed with a thumb and a sigh guessing it was probably Jerry coming to see how's he doing, but as bad as he felt, too hell with apologizing. He then heard another knock on the door, he ignored it, and another… And another, after awhile he decided he was going to tell Jerry off. He got up out of bed and went down the stairs, only noticing now he was still in his work clothes. He opened the door only too see not Jerry but his father with a stern look on his face. He nodded, he didn't want too yell at his father, because he knew how his father would react "Happy birthday Georgie." He said with a slight smile "So. How did your day go?" He said opening the screen door and inviting himself in past George "Well… Pretty good ya know…?" George lied "Well then, yelling and ranting at your friends must be a past time of yours in that case." His father said with a chuckle, he always laughed at his own jokes. "Well, no, I can't say it is." George said "Well, if it isn't… It sounds like you just, snapped Georgie! And when your mother heard that she wanted me too do something about it… Ya see… When a person…" Georgie was ignoring most of what his father was saying and I'll just skip through what he doesn't hear in this story "You need too know son, you're moms very worried…" he sighed and glanced outside of his window and saw his dad's truck and the fact it was filled too the brim "And that's why you're going camping with me, I already took the time off your work and I know you're not doing anything." George gritted his teeth, why would his father do that and why would his work just let someone say they're his father and just take time off work without him knowing, suddenly he got a notification from his boss asking about what was with you at the surprise party and then remembered his bosses face walking out the door with a long look on his face, and he knew at the moment why. He looked back up at his father "To be honest dad, I actually have a thing." George lied "Nope. You don't and if you don't come with me you're mother is going too have a fit at you for doing that too all your nice friends." His father said, again knowing he had the upper hand "So, what you're telling me is you took time off my work without telling me, and are forcing me too go with you camping for a few days." His father nodded. George contemplated for a moment before sighing "Fine…" his father smiled and said "Then pack!" George sighed again and went upstairs and threw a few pairs of shirts, pants, shorts, and socks into his duffle bag, forgetting his socks because he just wanted too pack and be done with it. 

After George finished packing, he went out to his father's truck and climbed in with his duffle bag on top of his lap. His father started the truck and off they went. By the time they hit the highway, George already hated this journey but he didn't want too explode at anymore people "Maybe I'm just punishing myself for what happened today." He thought as he slowly drifted off too sleep watching many of the trees pass by. He was awoken when his father finally stopped for gas "Hey, do you need anything?" His father asked him, waking him up. He almost growled when he said "No." Before trying too go back too sleep, after his father had entered the gas station George heard a knock on the door he opened his eyes slightly and rolled down the window, expecting too see his father but instead he saw one of the tackiest people he had ever met, with a bit of sun screen on his nose and a hawiian shirt. George's eyes shot open "H-hello?" George said reluctantly, the man stared at him and smiled "Don't you remember me?" George gave him a troubled look "It's Bobby from accounting…" George was trying to place him and then remembered something "Oh! You…" the man nodded enthusiastically "It looks like you're finally coming out of your shell and going camping! And you didn't even need my invites to do it! Although, I'm sure my family would have loved too have you." George looked over at the car and the man's kids looked like the children of the corn, just as miserable as he was. "What kind of sick fuck drags their children from the wonders of today's world, to the middle of fucking nowhere?" He thought, suddenly seeing his his father with two sacks of junk food. George wasn't going to say anything, but he knew his father really should've be eating that after what the doctor said about his blood sugar levels. his father looked at the Bobby for a few seconds before holding out his hand putting the sack on his arm "Hey, nice too meet ya. I'm Georgie's father! And…. I assume you know my son?" Bobby nodded "Oh yes! He's one of the hardest working people I know up in HR." His father chuckled and replied "Is that so…" George did not want to hear this conversation go on so he tuned them out for a minute until suddenly "What do you think George?" The man asked curiously, George wanted too tell this man off and tell him too fuck off, that's what he thought… And so that's exactly what he blurted out "I think you should fuck off." The man's eyes widened and his father's sank, Bobby sighed, taken back at what George had said and went back towards his car "Well, see you Mr. Vernon." He waved at George's father, his father didn't reply and climbed into his truck and started driving without saying a word, George knew he knew better but… He just couldn't stand that guy… His father broke the silence with sudden laughter "So I just thought of this joke, so… I hear a person gets stabbed in London every 52 seconds… Poor guy." George suddenly, and without hesitation, started laughing with his father and this happened for a solid five minutes of just complete and uninterrupted laughter. 

After that, his father smiled and put on some country music George usually couldn't stand country music but it may have been the song or how elated he was at the current moment but the music was so good to him at that current moment, he passed out. When he awoke, his dad exclaimed "We're here!" George looked around and for miles back and forth there was just a narrow dirt road surrounded by trees, this immediately soured his otherwise good mood. His father hopped out of the truck and smiled "Alright-!" George interrupted him "What's that fucking smell!?" His father took a deep whiff and smiled "Well! That smells like nature too me! Probably some animal that took a number two somewhere." His father then opened the door for George and he hopped out. His father then said "Alright, now hop back in we have another ten miles." His father said with a chuckle, George gritted his teeth and nodded, and thought "Alright, fuck me. I thought we were actually here. Thanks a fucking lot." George hopped back into the truck and his father did the same and they headed off again. George couldn't sleep with this dirt road constantly bumping and moving the truck, "I… Huh." George sighed, his father was more so focused on navigating a narrow road. It seemed like hours until they got too this very small singular campsite, that had a clearing "This is the place!" His father exclaimed yet again, George sighed as his father unpacked, if he wanted too he could just let his father do all the work… He decided that is what he'd do, and so he passed out yet again inside the car. A few hours later, his father knocked on the car door and opened it, shaking George awake. George opened his eyes to the sun going down "You okay buddy?" George looked and saw the entire campsite, including the fire pit, the tent, and even a table full of food had been set up. His father handed him some Jerky, George put it up to his face before getting a smell he just couldn't stand the smell "It's deer jerky!" His father said before taking a bite "It's good, try it!" George shook his head and his father sighed "Well, I do have eggs and bacon cooking on the fire." Now that George could get on board with, he got out of the car and noticed two eggs and two pieces of bacon cooking over a fire in a frying pan. George's father grabbed a plate off the foldable table, grabbed the eggs and bacon off the skillet, and put a little bit of salt, pepper, and a dash of lemon juice on them. As much as he didn't like this situation, he couldn't say no too his dad's cooking. 

After he had finished eating, it had already turned dark, his father chuckled and said "Alright, I'll pack up a bit before we hit the sack." His father said smiling, George nodded and said "Alright." As he went towards the tent, he couldn't help but smell something weird, and it was definitely close to the smell he smelled before and yet… Different in a way, but still just as fowl and so he went inside the tent and try going to sleep, but his mind was just racing a million hours a minute and he couldn't go too sleep with that… Smell." His father joined him after about two minutes, and it was at this moment, George noticed how cramped this tent was, his father when laying down, was right next to him if not right up against him, back up against back. His father sighed "I didn't want to bring this up, but why did you say such an awful thing to that man." George sighed and said "If you didn't want to say it, why did you bring it up?" George's father sighed "Because I'm your father and I worry." George chuckled "Well, I don't really know too be honest I-!" His father interrupted him "Don't bull-shit me. You don't need to sugar coat it. I'm an adult." His father said, it was a long period of silence before George replied "I… I hate him." His father sighed "Is that actually it?" George though for a second and shook his head "Well, not exactly I…. HE… He invites me too camping trips with him all the time and I… Frankly, I hate camping." His father chuckled "I know, that's why I brought you out here." His father was greeted by silence again before George replied "I… I don't know what to do, it's the same routine, day in and day-!" Suddenly his father placed an index finger over his mouth and whispered "Quiet…" George almost said something but then was interrupted yet again to a very low growl and the breaking of what sounded to be, a jar breaking on to the ground. 

A minute passes before they hear the growl again and the ripping of a sack and something pouring out onto the ground, George didn't know how to feel during this moment in time, he didn't know how too react, truthfully, he was terrified. His father was dead silent as well, not even moving a muscle before whispering "It's a bear." And at this moment, George started to panic, his heart started racing and he grabbed his sleeping back and started too squeeze the end of it. His breathing becoming rather irregular. The bear made a very loud growl again before the sound of the table snapping and everything falling off of it, making such a noise and racket that George thought another bear would come. The bear seemed to growl and making sounds for several hours, while George and his father were completely unaware of what it was doing, again terrified. After it seemed to be done, there seemed too be some sort of package that would need too rip or jar that needed to be broken, they could hear the bear smacking, eating, and crunching. Making a roar or two, before continuing eating the food. Finally there was a bit of silence, until they could hear the bears breathing and something blocking out the light coming into the tent, George didn't know what to do and so he did the only thing he could think. Hold his breath, the bear stayed there for a long period of time, sniffling around, even putting it's rather large nose and face up against the tent. The bear stood their for long enough that George had to take a rather loud and large deep breath. The bear, yet again put its face up against the tent, George's father sitting over George and putting a pocket knife inches away from it's nose. Suddenly though, it back away and went back to the picnic of items. George's father whispered "Try going too sleep. We'll be alright, don't you worry." Suddenly George noticed a smell, it must have been the bears smell, it probably was waiting for us. A small sigh of relief washed over George as he noticed that his father could have very well been mauled by that bear, although that thought alone brought him back too being terrified again. He couldn't sleep and so he stayed up until dawn, and then immediately passed out. 

When George awoke, his father was gone and his tent was left open George got out of the tent only too see what a mess the campsite was, everything from the table that had been snapped in half too all the food being sprawled out along the ground, being mostly torn up. George sighed and looked at a torn up package of bacon, and he just took a sigh of relief, although he was then brought back into reality by the smell, not too far their was a large pile of bear shit. He shook his head and then looked around for his father, he quickly found his father inside of his truck, looking towards the trees. George entered the truck and smiled at his father "So… Crazy night, right!?" His father looked him dead in the face, he had bloodshot eyes. George then noted the shotgun sitting on his father's lap "Well… It's gone now…" his father didn't reply "Why don't you and me go for a walk?" George said with a smile, trying too comfort his father. His father put his shotgun in the middle seat and started the car. George got out and opened the driver's door "You don't get a choice in the matter!" His father looked at him again before turning off the ignition and slowly unbuckling his seat belt. His father looked a little worse for wear, covered in sweat, but then again, so did George. George started walking into the forest and his father followed, George tried making idle conversation "So… Those Red Socks Huh?" George's father sighed but didn't reply and so they just walked in silence, suddenly George noted how nice in smelled today, he stopped and took a big whiff and asked "What's that?" His father stopped "Do ya mean the trees?" George thought for a second before taking a big whiff of a tree "Wow… I ugh… Didn't know they smell that good." George's father chuckled and took a big whiff "Yeah… I guess they do." George took another whiff and looked down at the patch of grass beneath their feet "And the grass!" He exclaimed "Oh, do you mean the morning dew?" George nodded, seeming and asking questions like a child would now "I love these scents, but the smell of this." He went up to a fairly large evergreen and smelled it "Is definitely my favorite of all the smells, the smell of this tree right here" His father nodded and went up to the tree and took a whiff as well "Yeah, I guess. You're right."