Richard

The look on her face always got me.

Every single time I stared at her, she always has a different look resulting in the same effect within me.

With her brown iris looking up at me as the light on the balcony shone on them.

She looked beautiful and red was definitely her colour.

The way her curves were accentuated by the dress and the way her cleavage was peeking out desperately, all joined to call for my attention.

I reminded myself that she was just like the other girls. She was flirty and just was down for the money.

I wasn't ready to convince myself otherwise or I just didn't want to believe otherwise.

Falling in love with someone else or even getting married to someone is something my heart has never had a time to consider.

This was just like a business deal. I wish I could see it just as that and nothing more but I couldn't avoid the possibilities of whatever may come with the marriage.

If she was at least one of the wise ones, she would digest well every word I said to her tonight.

They had left and my dad wanted me to stay over so we could make some arrangements and talk about business, but tonight, I declined because her thought clouded my mind.

Not necessarily the thought of a blissful life with her, but the thoughts of how I was meant to act like it wasn't a big deal and just go on with the flow.

I didn't want it to bother me at that moment but it did.

I found myself thinking one or two things about her. Not specifically considering the marriage but just in a way, she was in my thoughts.

Our wedding was in five days. Which could be called off by her or not.

I was in suspense.

I never for once thought about getting married to anyone. After what Jessie did to me, I dead my heart about love and just saw everyone as being the same.

A lot of people see me as intiminating and I in fact do not prove them wrong. They love to be treated as shitty and so they shall be treated.

The drive back to my place was quiet. Of course, it should be. I was driving alone.

I rested my jaw in my left hand, handling the steering wheel with my right hand as I thought about a lot of possibilities.

I hate to be bothered by a thought but I couldn't avoid this whole thing from troubling me.

I winded down, letting the cold breeze hit my face. I loosened my tie, throwing it in the backseat and I unhooked a few buttons to reveal a reasonable part of my chest.

A few moments later, I was pulling up in front of a bar. A bar I had sworn never to visit again.

My experience the last time I was here was crazy.

It was the day I caught Jessie and my dad.

I was so mad that I couldn't feel myself.

A mixture of betrayal and disappointment crumbled together within me and I sincerely could have done anything to harm myself at that time. Which in fact, a few times, I thought of sucide as the pain I felt was unbearable.

Loosing my mum caused me to be vulnerable to her. I wanted something great and only wanted to feel loved. One I wasn't able to enjoy till the end with the only woman in my life when I was younger. My mum.

My dad wouldn't even let me pay my last respect to my mum. Life felt useless and pointless but Jessie brought a meaning to it after countless mishaps with petty relationships.

The first person that came to mind was Jessie. I had called her that day but she wouldn't pick so the thought of going over to my dad was the only option I had.

I was going to share the news about passing the bar examination which in fact wasn't something that could impress him and I knew it.

He was the only one I had as my family then and the thought of sharing the news with him was the only thing I had in my head.

But seeing the only woman I loved and had grown to live with lying on the same bed with my dad almost drove me crazy.

I ran over to this place since it was the nearest and the first bar I saw after leaving my dad's place.

I drank till I couldn't respond to stimuli.

So that night, I was being dragged out of the bar by two men who after hitting me, took everything that was on me, including my car.

I ended up making a great headline the next morning, so I had sworn never to come here.

But now, I was stepping out of my car and treading gently into the vicinity.

The music hit my ears as I opened the door and the thought of having a few friends, chatting over a few glasses of drinks seem cool but I had no one to call.

I was attended to by a young bartender who looked as though he could cry any minute.

"A shot of tequila," I said to him and he poured me a shot, trembling as he poured the drink and I immediately knew he was a newbie.

I took three to four shots and by now, my sight was getting blurry. It seems stronger than usual.

I usually don't get drunk after four glasses but tipsy. But right now, I was feeling like I was floating and could barely feel my legs.

My head felt like it was spinning and little by little, my view was getting foggy like the harmattan season in Africa.

I looked up at the bartender who had attended to me with a slight grimace forming on my drunk face.

I have been drugged!