Where loyalties lies

(Lina)

The silence in the room after my parents left was deafening. I could still feel their presence as if their disappointment remained in the air. 

The walls of my room, with all their perfect furnishings and luxuries, seemed to close in on me, a reminder of everything I'd been given—everything I was supposed to be grateful for.

 I sank onto the edge of my bed, my heart pounding as their words echoed in my mind.

"Isabella, you need to grow up."

"You're being selfish."

"This is the world we live in."

My hands were trembling as I held them in my lap, clenching and unclenching my fists, trying to steady myself. It was like they couldn't see me, didn't even hear a word I'd said. 

All they cared about was the image, the alliance, and the power that this marriage gave them. And to them, that was worth more than Isabella's happiness, worth more than the love she'd once hoped they had for her.

A memory came to my mind about her childhood and the way she used to believe in them. She'd wanted nothing more than to make them proud, to be the daughter they could look at with pride. 

But now, sitting here alone, It was like all the love she'd hoped for, all the warmth she'd wanted from them, was just a fantasy she made up in her mind.

I stood up, pacing the room, the anger building inside me until I thought I might explode. 

Isabella's life had been planned out for her before she even had a chance to decide what she wanted. 

They'd chosen Nicholas, chosen this life of luxury and power, and expected her to play her part, like a puppet with no mind of her own.

But it wasn't that simple. It couldn't be. She was a person, not a pawn. She was their daughter and I couldn't keep pretending that everything was fine.

I have to do something for her, to honor her memory. No one cared about her feelings, but I did. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I couldn't keep ignoring the way Nicholas looked at me like I was nothing more than an accessory, a prize he'd won to parade around at banquets and royal gatherings. 

And even if my parents didn't care, I did. I couldn't turn a blind eye to the betrayal, to the way he lied and cheated and expected me to just smile and pretend it didn't hurt.

I walked over to the window, staring out at the gardens below. They were beautiful, I couldn't deny that. Every flower was in its place, every shrub trimmed to perfection, just like the rest of this life. 

From the outside, it all looked perfect. But on the inside, it was cold, hollow. And I was trapped in the middle of it, expected to play the role of the dutiful wife, the perfect daughter, no matter how much it tore me apart.

I thought about my father's words, about how he'd dismissed my feelings as if they were nothing more than a childish whim. "This marriage is not about love or feelings," He'd said, his voice as cold as ice. "This is about power."

Power. Control. That was all that mattered to them, all that had ever mattered. I was just a piece on their chessboard, moved around to fit their plans, their schemes. 

And for what? To be locked in a gilded cage, expected to be grateful for the scraps of affection they threw my way?

I took a deep breath, feeling the bitterness rise in my chest. If this was what they wanted for me, then maybe I didn't belong here. 

Maybe I didn't belong in this life at all. I thought about the divorce I'd been asking for, the one thing that might finally set me free. 

My parents had fought me on it, refused to even consider it, but I couldn't keep living this lie. I couldn't keep pretending to be someone I wasn't, just to keep them happy.

A part of me wanted to believe that they'd come around, that they'd see how unhappy I was, and finally understand. But I knew better. They would never see me as anything more than a tool, a means to an end. And if I waited for them to change, I'd be waiting forever.

I crossed the room, my hands clenched into fists, feeling the anger building inside me. I didn't need their approval. I didn't need their permission. This was my life, and I was done letting them control it.

For the first time, I felt a certainty that I hadn't felt in years. I didn't know what would happen if I went through with the divorce. I didn't know where I'd go, or what kind of life I'd be able to build for myself. But I knew one thing for sure: I couldn't stay here. Not like this.

I thought about Nicholas, about the way he'd lied to me, the way he'd looked at me with that smug smile, knowing that I was trapped, knowing that I had no choice but to stay. But he was wrong. I did have a choice. And I was finally ready to make it.

I kept on thinking about leaving. What would happen if I decided to just pack up and run? 

Would they chase after me to hold up their political belief? Or would they simply just ignore me and allow me to live a life free from them? 

'System, what do you think will happen if I decide to leave the palace?' I asked, wanting to know exactly where I stood. 

'If you decide to leave, then you will go back to level one, and I will cease to exist. The castle, the rules, and the betrayal are all a part of this game, Lina. Once you leave, then everything that you have gained so far will be nothing but a distant memory.' 

I released a frustrated groan, why does my life seem to be more complicated than before? 

I took a step towards the door, wanting to go outside to get some fresh air. But before I could Nicholas stepped in, his smug smile practically daring me to try. 

"Going somewhere, darling?" His voice filled with mockery, and behind him, two guards were blocking any hope of escape.