Hidden scars

(Lina)

I woke up with a start, a soft gasp leaving my lips as I sat up, the sheets twisted around me. 

My heart was racing, my hands trembling. I closed my eyes, trying to push away the images, but they stayed with me, haunting me, refusing to fade. It wasn't the first time I'd had this dream – if I could even call it a dream. 

No, it felt more like Isabella's memories, memories that left me breathless and aching each time they crept into my mind.

As I lay back down, the scenes started up again, clearer now, flooding over me like a storm. 

I saw myself – or rather, Isabella – in a beautiful dress, walking down the long, cold halls of the castle. I could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her fingers tightening around the fabric of her dress.

 She looked out of the large windows, but there was no joy in her eyes. Just a tiredness, a sadness that settled in her bones. She was trapped here, in this cold, silent place, where the walls held secrets and the whispers never stopped.

I felt her pain as if it were my own. She wanted to leave, to escape, but every time she tried, Nicholas found a way to keep her here. 

She'd fought so hard, again and again, begging him, pleading with him to let her go. She wanted freedom, but he wanted power. Even though she was always pining over him. He never saw her for what she was worth.

Her tears meant nothing to him. Her pain was nothing but a tool he could use. Every time she tried to leave, he would remind her of the kingdom, of the alliances, of the peace their marriage brought. And every time, he wore her down, breaking her spirit a little more.

And then, the worst part came. I could feel her heart shattering all over again as she remembered the way he looked at Elara. The way he smiled at her, touched her. 

I could see it all through Isabella's eyes – the stolen glances, the soft laughter, the touches that she pretended not to notice. She tried to ignore it, to push it down, but it hurt. It hurt so much that sometimes she couldn't breathe.

I felt her heart clench painfully as she watched them together, hidden in the shadows where she thought no one could see.

 They were happy. He was happy – with someone else, someone who wasn't her. She'd given him everything, her heart, her loyalty, her life. But it was never enough. She was never enough. She was just a tool to him, a pawn he could use in his game. And Elara… Elara was the one he truly cared about.

I could feel Isabella's anger bubbling up, her sadness, her helplessness. She wanted to scream, to shout, to make him see how much he was hurting her. But every time she tried, he would turn it around, telling her that she was overreacting, that she was imagining things. 

And slowly, bit by bit, she started to believe him. She started to think that maybe it was her fault, that maybe she wasn't enough, that maybe she didn't deserve to be loved.

I felt her sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness, the loneliness pressing down on her until it was hard to breathe. She was surrounded by people, by servants, by guards, but she'd never felt more alone.

 She was trapped in a cage, a beautiful, cage that sparkled in the sunlight but cut into her skin every time she tried to escape. She was a princess, but she was also a prisoner. And no one could save her.

The dream shifted, and I saw her standing by the window, watching Nicholas and Elara laughing together in the courtyard below. 

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together, but the pain was too much. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. She was numb, her heartbreaking quietly, silently, where no one could see.

In that moment, she realized something. She was alone, truly alone. No one would save her. No one would come for her. She would have to save herself. And so, she made a vow, a silent promise to herself. She would find a way out.

 She would leave this place, this cold, empty castle, and she would find freedom, no matter what it took. She would break free from Nicholas, from his lies, from his cruelty. She would be free.

But deep down, she knew it wouldn't be easy. Nicholas was clever, and he would never let her go. He saw her as his possession, something he could control, manipulate, and use. 

And every time she tried to fight back, he would remind her of her duty, her place, her role as his wife. He would hold her close, whispering sweet lies into her ear, promising her that things would get better, that he would change, that he loved her. 

But they were just words, empty, hollow words that meant nothing. Because in the end, he would always go back to Elara. He would always leave her alone, waiting, hoping, breaking.

I could feel her despair, the way it settled over her like a heavy cloak, dragging her down, suffocating her. She wanted to scream, to break something, to run as far away as she could. But she couldn't. She was trapped, chained to this life, to this marriage, to this man who didn't love her, who never would.

The dream shifted again, and I saw her standing alone in her room, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She barely recognized herself. 

Her eyes were dull, her face pale, her spirit broken. She was a shadow of the woman she used to be, a ghost haunting her own life. She wanted to be free, to find happiness, to feel loved. But every time she tried, Nicholas would pull her back, holding her tightly, refusing to let her go.

And in that moment, I felt her final realization, her acceptance. She knew that she might never escape, that she might spend the rest of her life in this cold, loveless marriage. 

She knew that she might never feel the warmth of true love, the freedom she craved. But she also knew that, no matter what, she would keep fighting. She would hold onto that small, fragile hope, that someday, somehow, she would break free.

As I opened my eyes, I could still feel Isabella's pain, her sorrow, her despair. It was like a shadow, clinging to me, wrapping around me, suffocating me. 

I know why she committed suicide, she thought that it was the only way out. 

I sometimes wish that I didn't reincarnate like her, but her soul needs my help, and I will give her that help so that she can finally rest in peace.