Chapter Forty-Three: A Wolf Finds Her Way Back Home

Celeste:

Sitting up, my head smashed against the ceiling of my closet. Novi barely moved as I squirmed out from underneath his arms, my migraine throbbing violently. The stairs creaked with every step, an eager Avalanche greeting me in the kitchen. He had changed it to warm oak cabinets, a silver metal kitchen island glistened in the dull orange rays of dawn. Pulling his hair into a ponytail, he fixed his light blue t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Pouring me a cup of tea, he motioned for me to sit down. Sitting down at the same time, he slid the cup over to me. Watching the steam float aimlessly, he ruffled the top of my head. Lifting up a piece of my hair, it cascaded over his fingers. Curiosity was always what connected us before, his kind heart shattering at the sight of me.

"How did this occur?" He asked curiously, urging me to drink the tea. "That is a blend of herbs that will relieve nausea and migraines. I will send you home with a three month supply. I am sorry for what happened. Please don't do anything stupid." Smiling tiredly to myself, my spirit had been broken.

"You guys worry too much about me. I will get over it. Although, the bruises haven't healed quite yet." I assured him poorly, a quiet rage simmering in his eyes. "I can't believe it actually happened. I am a horrible wife for letting it happen but he was going to kill me if he hadn't gotten his way. Do you think I am disgusting?" His face fell into an odd expression, his arms pulling me into a warm embrace. My arms hung limply by my side, tears welling up in my eyes. Unable to hold anything back, sobs wracked my body. My tears soaked his shoulder, a yawning Novi coming downstairs. Shoving him off, I wiped my tears away. Guilt gnawed at me, even the slightest touch caused me to reject every gentle touch. Was I going to be in a good space?

"Are you okay, Celly?" He inquired groggily, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "You smell so good this morning." Resting his chin on my head, his embrace did little to improve my mood. Shoving him off, hurt dimmed his eyes. Sudden anxiety hit me, each breath growing quicker. Cupping my mouth, thoughts of his hands touching me threatened to make any food I had left in my system to visit once again. Running over to the nearest trash can, chunks hit the bottom of the trash can. Another bout of vomit burned its way up my throat, my body sinking to the floor. Any warmth left my body, both of them cautious to approach me. Curling into a ball, the fact that it still hurt reminded me of my nightmare. My inner wolf howled in pain, her lone song echoing in my head. Cupping my ears, her voice was becoming too loud.

"Make it stop." I begged desperately, the howling increasing to the points of my ears bleeding. "Shut up! Shut up! You are hurting me!" Both of my eardrums burst, no sound entered my ears. A piercing whistle tortured me, a gruff voice entering my mind. Clammy sweat drenched my skin, my heart pounding out of my chest. Curse this wretched world and its bad luck!

"I found you, golden one. I am the Dark One." His voice thundered, my wolf's tail tucking in between her legs. "I will devour you whole and enjoy every bite. So much tragedy taints your blood. You have the perfect seeds to become a villain, so let me corrupt you. Why can't I corrupt you!" A snarl curled on my lips, wicked laughter rumbling in my throat.

"I don't have a mean bone in my body unless you count my hatred towards myself." I returned as his cold fingers curled around my soul. "You can search all day long but I simply want to live a peaceful life." Ripping his hands away, invisible hands gripped my throat. The grip strengthened, strangled gasps left my lips. Clawing at them, one last squeeze knocked me out.

An empty wasteland swallowed my form, a thick layer of ash crunched underneath my feet. Tall dead trees twisted into the night sky, a loneliness bathing the land. A shadow stood in the distance, a darkness swallowing the land. Storm clouds brewed over my head, a clap of thunder distracting me. A pale faced man towered over me, his black lips curling into a curious grin. Green snake eyes bore into mine, the dark slit expanding and shrinking. Tattered yellowed robes tickled my skin, his gaunt figure circling me. Playing with my hair, golden energy built around my clenched fist. Attempting to hit him, a punch to my chest knocked me into the ash. His hood fell, his slicked back blonde hair shimmering in a bolt of lightning. Scrambling to my feet, a cloud of ash hid my escape. My metal leg whirred with each step away from him, my wolf running next to me. Scooping me onto her back, her white fur felt soft against my skin. Moving as fast I could, horror rounded my eyes. Popping up in front of me, she skidded to a stop. Unable to hold on, my body flew over the two of them. The crack of my arm shattered the stale air, my right arm breaking upon impact. The ivory tip sticking out of my bleeding flesh sickened me, my eyes scanning for a way out. Struggling to my feet, a neon green blade slid through my chest. Choking on a mouthful of blood, the copper taste poisoned my taste buds. Glancing back, the stranger stabbed my wolf. Tears flooded from my eyes, my heart rate picking up. Ripping it from my chest, it took everything I had to whip it in his direction. The guy dropped to the ground, a cloud of dust obscuring my charge at him. Pushing through the pain, blood soaked my sweatshirt. Kicking him into the air, my trembling left arm scooped up my wolf. There was no way I would let her die on me. Running as far as I could, I set her down. Dragging her behind a thick tree, the trail of blood was sure to give us away. Hovering my good hand over her wound, a golden light sealed it shut. Her chest rose up and down, panic gripping my mind. Grimacing in pain, I only had enough magic to heal her wound for now. Ignoring the blood loss, the only sound leaving my mouth were wheezes. Coughing up an unnatural amount of blood, I needed a plan. Hollow footsteps echoed behind me, a coldness rattled my body. A reaper hovered in the distance, my skin grew translucent. Resting my head against the tree, his face in front of me freaked me out. Quivering in fear, no weapons laid around me. Picking up my left arm, he held it straight. Slamming his heel into the crook of my elbow, a tortured scream burst from my lips. Plopping down on my lap, a worn pistol spun in his palm.

"I am the Dark One and I have bested you, Light One." He bragged with maniacal laughter, pressing the muzzle to my forehead. "Prepare to die." Clicking the safety, he pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, each attempt resulting in swelling frustration. Throwing the gun away, his fists pounded into my face over and over again. The swelling touched my teeth, I needed to get out of here. My wolf's eyes fluttered open, her claws digging into the ash. Gazing lovingly at me, she pieced it all together.

"You healed me first?" She whispered over his punching, my loving gaze saying it all. "I see. You did it because you can't live without me. I am going to open up a portal back to the real world. I will be fine but let yourself fall through. The connection will be lost between the two of you. I love you, Celly. By the way, you aren't a horrible wife. The monster violated you. Sorry for not allowing you to fight. Until the next howl, my dear." Wagging her tail once, his scream was the last thing I heard.

Traffic noises aggravated my migraine, both of my arms were still broken. Novi had me on his lap, his hands pressing a towel to my chest. Concern darkened his expression, his teardrops soaking my face. Attempting to speak, he shook his head. Kissing my forehead, his real smile illuminated his worn face. All I knew is that death was knocking on my door, every wound crying out in protest.

"I don't know what happened." I wheezed, coughing up more blood. "The Dark One found me and his wounds won't heal. I love you, Novi." Kissing my forehead once more, he played with my hair. Chuckling softly to himself, he ran his free hand through his hair. Seeing him like this shattered my heart, the feeling of being a horrible wife tainting my bitter mind.

"I love you, Celly," He whispered softly, the guilt eating at me. "Avalanche told me what you said. I don't think you are a monster or a horrible wife. I think I failed you by letting you get kidnapped. Please stop blaming yourself." Attempting to smile, the sheer pain prevented me from even getting close. Swallowing a lump of blood, one question still remained.

"Where are we going?" I inquired with a tiny groan, the immense pain hitting me at once. Rolling his eyes, he helped me sit up a bit. Leaning against the door, he clutched me close to his chest. His warmth stole the cold away, his firm chest bringing me to my center for a moment. If only I could feel like this all the time, my trauma rearing its ugly head.

"Dr. Benston has a basement in his home where he can heal you and monitor you for a couple of weeks. I can only stay for a couple of days." He explained calmly, hiding his fright with a crooked grin. "He is going to heal your wolf and attempt to heal you with everything he has. His help will be intense but please do it for me. I don't know how to fix you after what happened. I am so sorry." Nodding my head in a silent agreement, tears streamed down my cheeks. The last thing I wanted to do was be by myself, the uncertainty of my next act holding me back. Did he hate me that much? Spotting my tears, he wiped them away.

"I don't hate you." He assured me warmly, the honesty showing in his aura. "I simply want you to get better. What you need is beyond what I can offer. I love you more than the moon itself. Trust me." Hurt dimmed my eyes, a quiet rage following. How dare he commit me! I didn't do a damn thing wrong! Sobs wracked my body, the car slowing to a smooth stop. Carrying me into a white colonial, beige walls flashed in my vision. Crashing down a set of wooden stairs, he laid me down on a hospital bed. Buttoning up his white lab coat, his light orange sweater was the only thing I could focus on.

"You need to go now." He warned icily, Novi began to protest. "I guess I didn't make myself clear. If you are near me while I do what I have to do, your temper will flare beyond your control. Leave. Now." Tears stained his cheeks, my eyes falling on the blood painting his suit. Giving me one last kiss, my heart sank with each step away. Laying my head back on the pillow, my face hurt too much to yell. Clapping his hands, classical music began to play. Strapping me down with silver filled straps, he snapped on a pair of gloves. Picking up a needle from the counter, he jammed it into my neck. The room spun over me, a rough darkness enveloping me.

A shrill alarm irritated me, a shimmer of hope glimmering in my eyes at the sight of two healed arms. Moving my fingers, everything worked. The memories of yesterday made me want to hide away. Pulling the soft blush blanket over my head, a hand ripped it off. Dr. Benston towered over me, his hands on his hips. Dressed in a baby blue polo shirt and khaki shorts, he glanced at his watch. Pushing up his glasses, he passed me a creme sweater and maternity jeans.

"Rise and shine, Sunshine! We have a lot of work to do. The first one is a therapy session, and then a breaking room. You get to smash things until you feel better. The rest we will play by ear." He explained methodically, not asking for my opinion. "Meet me in the living room in ten minutes. Exiting the room, I peeled off my destroyed clothes. A line of stitches went from my clavicle to the bottom of my ribs, bruises dotted where my arms had been broken. Pulling the sweater over my head, the wool felt soft against my skin. Surprisingly, the jeans fit perfectly. Looking around for my phone, it was nowhere to be found. Stomping out to the living room, the white furniture threw me off. Everything was too sterile, the enormity of the space causing anxiety to swell inside of me. Glancing over at the closet, his eyes followed me as I stepped in and closed the door. Pulling up a chair outside the door, a swift knock irritated me.

"We can talk through the door if you want. Novi did say that you like small spaces. Tell me about yourself." He uttered simply, his cheery tone throwing me off. "That is how I like to start my sessions." Popping the door open a bit, his calm eyes met my bewildered expression. Slipping back in, the golden handle rattled with my slam.

"I am Celeste, the wife of Genovi. I have lived a life most people wouldn't wish upon their enemies and I am sick of this game." I introduced myself sarcastically, his pen scribbling away. "Could you stop writing! It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Could you record me instead? I don't like lots of tiny noises." Setting his pen down, he pulled out a recording device.

"I am Dr. Benston, your therapist and doctor. I strive to help people. Hopefully I can guide you to a healthier mental state." He introduced himself pleasantly, sliding a sketchpad underneath the door. "I am going to be honest with you, I am going to try everything to get through to you. Draw how you are feeling." Scribbling down I don't care and I am fine, I slid it underneath. Moving the chair away from the door, his back was pressed against the door.

"I am pretty sure most people don't find a closet comforting in the way you do." He pointed out patiently, sliding the sketchpad underneath the door again. "Try again, and be truthful about it." Turning on the light, a swinging yellow light blinded me. Picking up the pencil, the tip gilded around for about twenty minutes. Gasping in horror at the image, my hands trembled. A bruised and cut up version of face haunted me, a pair of claws grasping my shoulders. Flipping the page, my pencil danced across the smooth surface. I drew a version of me which was tiny in a giant box. Sliding it underneath the door, the pages rustled with each examination.

"I like small spaces because no one can come in and hurt me." I admitted brokenly, resting my head on my knees. "When my real father died, my mother erased everything that reminded me of him. They turned me into a real life Cinderella, even refusing to give me a bed. That is why I feel so small and bruised. My whole life I was told that I was a worthless little nobody but Novi came along. I don't deserve love at all. At least that was how I felt. The way everyone loves me scares me. God, I must sound stupid. Come on, my first instinct is to run. Why?" Opening the door, I crawled to sit across from him. Tears flooded from my eyes, his caring expression knocked down my walls.

"You suffered from both physical and emotional abuse. What you are feeling is normal." He replied serenely as anyone could. "Tell me more and we can figure out what to do next. Tell me what you think of Novi." His question threw me off, my hand stealing the sketchpad from him. The tip of the pencil traced the lines of his face, teardrops messing with the lines. Another twenty minutes passed, my steady hands passing him the pad. His handsome face smiled up at me, my heart fluttering. Every cell of my body wanted to be by his side, yet my guilt poisoned the emotion.

"He is my hero. He was the first person to see me as a person and not a servant to beat when he was mad. Novi doesn't get mad at me too often but I see the faces he makes when I am irritating him or when I hurt his feelings." I gushed joyfully, letting my real smile light up my face. "I love the way he winks at me and buys me a book when I am having a bad day. Did you know the first time we met he marked me to free me from my stepdad's hold? Most importantly, he saved my copy of The Phantom of the Opera. He showers me with love and I let another man violate me. I am the worst wife ever. It is all my fault." My smile fell from my face, a look of shame forming on my face.

"Everyone says it's not my fault but I could have stopped him. I am strong enough. The moment he bent me over the desk the first time my inner wolf wouldn't allow me to fight back. My spirit is broken. Part of me doesn't want to live anymore." I continued while burying my head into my palms. "I can't look at myself in the mirror, I only see the insignificant nobody I am. I want to smash things. You promised you had that and I will make you lunch. Call it a favor for my therapy. Taking care of everyone else allows me to forget my issues and that is what I am doing wrong." Putting his hand up in the air, he shook his head.

"We have the staff for that." He dismissed me quickly, brushing off my offer. "Let's stop you before you run away. Thirty minutes more. Then you can smash things." Narrowing my eyes in his direction, talking to him was nice. Scratching the top of my hands, my nervous ticks were starting to show.

"What do you want to know?" I asked sincerely, seeing the tragic car accident that killed his wife and children play out in his eyes. "Never mind, I need to gather myself. I don't like things like therapy because I can see everyone's worst memories. I don't like to pry so I will ignore the fact that I saw what happened to your wife and family. If you want to stop treating me I understand." Jumping to my feet, I smoothed out my sweater. The stunned doctor couldn't say anything which increased my intense guilt with the whole situation.

"I am going to pack. I am quitting this tre-" I began, his sharp gaze stopping me. Rising to his feet, his face was inches from mine. A numbness washed over me, the vibe reminding me of my stepfather.

"Don't pry into my life." He growled through gritted teeth, his chocolate brown wolf standing behind him. My chest tightened, every breath growing shorter. The visions came to me without control, involuntary tears slid down my cheeks. Leaping over the couch, I sprinted into my bedroom. Pressing my face into a pillow, a long scream escaped my lips. Couldn't I do anything right! Why did I have to say something! God damn it! Curse my compassion for wanting to help someone. Taking a deep breath, I began to gather up what little I had on me. Opening the door, my head poked around. This wasn't going to work.

"Where are you going?" He questioned in the shadows, a stern stare met me trying to escape. "We have work to do." Spinning on my heels, I violated his privacy. Flashing a bright smile, I bowed for stupid reason.

"I went too far without trying. The thing with me is that you either like me or hate me." I commented with a false happy tone, dropping all of my things. "I failed you as a client. I will take my leave now." Getting down on my knees, he held up his hand. Confusion dawned on my face, his steady hands scooping up my stuff.

"It's not your fault that you can see those things. Please stay." He said earnestly, passing me my things. "You are a challenge and I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through. You are hyper aware of what is wrong. That is a rare gift." My real smile lit up my face, his plea not falling on deaf ears. Tears welled up in my eyes, the rare feeling of joy washed over me. Most people never knew what I saw when I looked into their eyes, his vision was the first one I even mentioned to the actual person with whom it concerned.

"I thought I screwed up. I graduated high school at fourteen because I don't like people in general. Also my parents used it to their advantage. I never related to anyone before Novi." I expressed honestly, leaning back onto the nearest couch. "Everyone in my life jammed themselves in and I am more than happy for it. Sometimes I need room to breathe and they don't give it to me. Tammy probably wants to rip off my head for snapping at her when I was in a manic episode. My world is crumbling around me. That is all you are getting from me today." Struggling to my feet, I picked up the sketchpad.

"I am going to draw my feelings now. I quite enjoy this." I announced with a polite smile, waving to him as I withdrew back to my bedroom. Settling in for the rest of the day, a curious glint twinkled in his eyes. Yawning, the lack of technology allowed sweet slumber to sweep me away.