POV Ajar: I just don’t wanna feel...

I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest.. The earth creating a black hole to swallow up in this tragic life I loved for the last seventeen years... My father—MY OWN FATHER gave me up as a sacrifice so the clan could stay here in New York. I was a means of negotiation—nothing more but hand basket to hand over..

As I ran with incredible speed through the forest, my mind just kept playing back everything that just happened a minute ago. But than it occurred to me as I stopped in my tracks.. Was my father going to just hand me over? I shook my head in attempts to forget—to just not remember—TO NOT CARE!

I grabbed my hair and kneeled in agony. I felt my brain had gone into full overload. I felt complete lost and pain but I knew exactly who to blame.

"My father.." I said with complete utter hate. I got up and sped off to my house. To my father..

As I reached the house, I marched into my father's office, where he sat proudly doing work. I felt my anger consume me "YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"

"Aja—" I cut him off as I picked up a chair and quickly smashed it against the wall, taking one of its legs throwing right at his left shoulder with mastered speed. The room filled with painful screams as the chair leg pierced through him. He looks at me in utter and complete surprise but I wasn't done yet. I quickly, got up on his desk, kicking him back towards the wall "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" asking him as I got off the table. I could feel my eyes changing colors but I didn't care "Ajar—Son—What are you talking about?" as he grabbed his left shoulder, carefully trying to take out the chair leg but I kicked it in further as he yelps in pain "Don't you ever call me your son. You lost all claims to even call yourself a father. Did you think I wouldn't find out that you sold me to the devil!?!" For the first time since I entered the room, I saw fear in his eyes.

"Ajar—Please—let me explain?" I kicked again at his shoulder, deepen the stab wound "No need to explain. I always wondered why you was always such a piece of shit of a father. Who knew he was because you sold me off before I was even born.." he tried to speck "Son, you have to understand. I did everything to renegotiate the terms of my deal—you weren't suppose to ever find out about it—how did you fin—" I grabbed him up by the collar and slammed him against the wall "How I found out?—It shouldn't matter how I did—What should matter, is how I'm going to kill you for ruining my life?!" As I felt myself making a mental decision on what to do, I heard a click behind me "Put him down, Ajar. We can talk about this." I turned around, letting my father go as he dropped to the floor in pain. I clapped my hands casually, only to stop and glare at him "Well, isn't it the man of the hour. How should I thank you? By ripping your heart out or cutting your head off clean?" Seth tighten his grip over the rifle "I'd prefer neither. I don't want to fight you but you know I can't have you kill a member of the council." I shakes my head disappointed "Your efforts to always remain the golden boy never seems to amazes me. Always trying to be the perfect fucking judge. Always trying to keep me under control."

"You needed it. I wanted to tell you but I just didn't know how." I called him out "That's bullshit! You could have told me but you chose not too—but who knew you'd be in the big leagues pulling the fucking strings." Seth clearly wasn't going to loosen his grip "You don't know how it felt keeping it from you. The day I found out, the first thing I wanted to do was tell you. But there was to much at stake for me to make that call on my own." I laughed "So you lied!" I quickly bent down and got the chair leg out of my father's shoulder and threw it at Seth. He caught it but by that time, I was gone.

I wondered the forest for minutes if not for hours, and before I knew it I was back to hallow mansion. I cussed at my realization and screamed "FUCKKK!!" as I kicked at a rock that fit perfectly to the ground, I could feel my insides yelling at me to stay when all I wanted to do was go. As I was going to make a run for it, I heard the door open "Ajar.."

Fiona stepped out onto the porch with a pistol in her hand. I almost laughed at the sight, it almost remained me of last night. But if only I could laugh. I was angry. I was angry at everything and everyone. I stood in front of her in a matter of seconds and stared at her. Stared at the girl that I saved in a fire. The girl I thought what was human. I could feel myself sink lower every time the truth became more clear "I should have killed you.." I could see a flicker of fear cross her eyes and that's when it hit me, if I killed her, no prophecy. I smiled at my realization "And I will." I grabbed her up at her throat having her drop the pistol as she tried to struggle out of my grip. She began to scream for help, it was then I felt a sharp pain hit me in my back, nearly making me let go of her. I quickly lowered, switching positions with her standing in front of me as I held her still around her neck with my forearm. Seth stood across with his gun aimed. No doubt he shot me. He yells "Let her go! We can figure this out! No one have to get hurt!" I laughed at how heroic he was trying to seem "You know better than anyone that won't just work for me." I tighten my grip around her neck as she began to feel lightheaded "If she dies all of this ends, right?" Seth counters "You won't do that! You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you do." I could feel my heartbeat stop when he said that. He was right, I risk everything to save her and that's only when I thought she was human. Even now, after finding out the truth my feelings for her haven't changed. I still felt attracted to her... I still wanted her.. This didn't make me feel any better. Only one thing came to my mind. I looked at Seth "I won't regret it because I'll turn it off." I could see Seth took a moment to process what I said and when he sinked in, he yelled after me "Ajar NO!" I closed my eyes and sinked in everything I felt. Everything that was good and bad. My past. My persent. Even, my future, until finally something in me snapped.. and everything I felt was gone. Like they never existed.

When I opened my eyes again, I didn't care anymore for the girl in front of me. I loosen my grip on her and turned her to face me. She looks at me fearfully "Ajar.. please... I love you.." she said my name so gentle alongside with her love for me but yet it sounded very foreign. Like, I couldn't understand what it meant. Seth yelled out "Fiona get away from him!" running in full speed to get to her. But just like a twig, I took my hand and snapped her neck. I could see a tear escape her eye but I felt nothing. Her body dropped like a bag of bones as Seth caught her in his arms. He looks up to me in complete disbelief as he held a lifeless Fiona in his arms. I looked to him "I did, what had to be done. No Fiona. No prophecy. You wanted to save the world, right? This is how you do it." I smiled as I stepped over them, walking off the porch. Seth couldn't say anything, as he held Fiona in his arms. But I could only find the scene funny enough to make me cringe.

I felt the blood run down my neck as I drain the last few drops off a woman I found on the highway. But saying I found her, is putting it mildly for what really happened. I smiled dropping her body to the ground, wiping my mouth. I did a body count in my head and noticed this had been my twenty-fifth dead body tonight. I whispered "Well, that's just lame." As I was going to walk off, Magnolia was in front of me and angry "Did you turn off your humanity?" I smiled "So far, best decision I've made." She looks at me unsettled "I'm suppose to be the bad guy, Ajar. Not you. That role is already filled. And you've got more body counts than I've had in my sex life." I laughed "So let me guess, your here to do damage control. Okay, than clean up that mess." I point to the women's body on the ground "I was going to just leave it there and have whatever animal finds her finish her off. But you being here works too." As I turned around to walk off, she spoke up "We are going to bury Fiona tomorrow." I stopped and turned around to look at her "Good. But it's best to burn her body. We didn't know her well enough to bury her." she saddens "She went to the same school as us, Ajar. That's enough to know, to bury her. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" I laughed "It once did. But the old me just didn't want to feel anymore. So, he turned it off. The feelings, emotions and whatever I felt for Fiona." She glared at me "You will only be able to keep yourself from feeling for so long. But when your feelings come back. You'll only regret what you did.. And for the record, I also knew what Fiona was but not like you care anymore. I hope you choke on every blood you drain from people just to not feel. But when your feelings come rushing back, Just know, I told you so." she walked passed me, purposely bumping into my arm as she walks off. I rolled my eyes. She thinks I'm going to have my feelings come rushing back. But little did she know, I had planned to stay like this until I couldn't remember who the hell was Fiona.. I already knew, if I turned back on my humanity everything would coming flowing back. That I had killed Fiona..

I may have not cared about the details now but later.. Later is what I was worried about. I could feel the cold breeze blow against my already icey skin. I pondered the future but the me right now wouldn't let me think about it. All I could think about was blood, blood and more blood. Everything I want and did want was to stop thinking.

I made my way to Club: SEEK THE NIGHT, where I sat at the bar. I quietly sipped on my martni as X pulled up next to me "Man! Who would have thought I'd see you here tonight." I smiled to myself, X was still annoying to me. At least I know that feeling hasn't changed. I faced him putting my drink down "So, where is the girl you bought the other night? I was thinking about introducing her to my fangs." X was taken a back by my not-so-funny joke. He took a moment to take me in and really look at me and I almost thought I saw a fear of realization flicker on his face "...When did you turn off?" I laughed but I answered honestly "It was when I took Fiona's life. I think that was today actual." X pushed me up against the bar counter and I could feel the angry pouring off him "You did what?!" the smile on my face remained and I could only stare at him "If only you knew the things I knew and heard the things I heard. You'd see I had no choice." I questionably looked at him "Besides, I don't see how you should care. You hardly knew her." he let me go and backed away "Fiona is the friend of my girlfriend. And she has been worried about her. She found out her family died and her house burnt down but Fiona is nowhere to be found. And you mean to stand here in my brother's club and tell me you killed her?" I could feel the music boucing off the walls of the club but X's anger was plain as the neon lights that covered us.