Lies

After a long 3 months of adjusting to life at the Brynsbrooke church, Sister Delilah and I started to become close. She was the only person I had a connection with since the other women were so much older than me. Father Lindy started trusting me more on my own so I didn't have to be chaperoned day and night. We had very strict rules set as to how I was allowed to exist in the community. I could freely walk the church grounds alone, I could do my chores alone but I was never allowed to go into town by myself and heaven forbid I ever considered attending the weekend Market place events. Some days I felt like a prisoner, other days I felt like I was truly beginning to find myself and my place, although at the end of the day, my prayers still felt as if they had fallen on deaf ears. Sister Delilah and I had lunch every day on the backside of the hill behind the church. We would sit and enjoy the view that overlooked the cemetery. It was very peaceful. We started talking about our lives and our dreams. We also took it as an opportunity to pass judgment on not only the church goers, but the staff as well, God forgive us. There was one thing about Sister Delilah that I could never get her to talk about though that left me feeling like she was hiding something from me.

"Sister Delilah", I said as we started slicing out lunch bread.

"Mmm?" She said, taking a bite.

"I have learned so much about you over the last few months and you've truly become a great friend." I said, "But if I may, I have a question for you."

She stopped chewing.

"Continue." She said.

"How did you end up here? In the care of Father lindy?" I asked.

"How many times are you going to ask before you realize I am not going to tell you?"

"Why wont you tell me?"

"I'll make you a deal," She said and stood, "I'll tell you how I ended up here as soon as you find out who your father is. I have to meet with Father Lindy this evening and I am quite tired. I'll see you tomorrow, Sister Cassandra." She left me alone on the hill. I finished my lunch alone with the company of the dead around me.

After I finished up my lunch, I headed back in to meet with Sister Mary who would be instructing me on how to "properly clean" pews since my recent work wasn't up to her standard. When I walked into the church, I saw Father Lindy finishing up with one of the top members of our congregation. It was the old bent over man that was in my mother's garden the day I returned to Brynsbrooke. He started visiting often. He would come in a few times a month but, as time passed over the last few months, he started coming multiple times a week. He would come and sit in the pews and just observe the people around him. His eyes lingered on me often. There were many times that I would find him watching me in different areas, mostly in the church halls, sometimes in the courtyard gardens. He never spoke to me, just watched me.

"Father Lindy? Who is that man?" I asked him and pointed at the older man as he left the church.

"That's Baron Glendell. He keeps to himself but makes great contributions to our church. Why do you ask?"

"He watches me often." I said.

"Have you seen him before?" He asked.

"Yes, the day that I went to my mother's house."

Father Lindy looked from me to the door that the old man left through.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked me with worry in his voice.

"Why did he come here today?" I asked.

"That's confidential, but he came for confession. I want you to stay away from him, Cassandra."

I nodded, "Of course. Is there a reason-"

"You look for answers deeper than you need quite often, Cassandra. Leave it at that. Leave it simple. I have to meet with Sister Delilah this evening, so I will not be around for you tonight. I'll leave you to your chores. I'll see you tomorrow, Sister." He said and exited the front of the church.

I cannot understand why there are so many secrets being kept from me. I spent the rest of the day finishing up my chores and thinking about what could possibly be so important that it needs to be kept a secret but not important enough to tell me? I headed out of the church and into the garden when I saw Father Lindy walk into the chapter house. I could see him light the candles through the one small window. He must have been waiting for Sister Delilah. He must have been waiting for Sister Delilah. In that moment, I got an insane idea and acted on it before I could give it a second thought. I immediately turned around and went back into the church. I went to the area where confessions were held. I sat down in Father Lindy's seat and I saw under the desk was a small book. This must be where he kept notes about confessions, right? I wasn't even sure if Father Lindy was allowed to take notes about the confessions he takes. I grabbed the book and opened it. I thumbed through a few pages until I found it.

"Baron Glendell - the twentieth of June, 1810.

The Baron came to confess today, the great heartache he was bearing for turning in a local criminal. He had turned the criminal over to the Countess Gaylore. He did not disclose the crime but knew that it was God's will and he was doing the right thing by saving the village from this tempter.

Father Timothy Lindy"

His note gave me no information. I sneaked back out of the confessional and back out to the garden. It was getting late, the sun had set and I was sure the nuns would notice I was missing from supper by now. As I walked across the garden, I glanced over at the chapter house and noticed the candles had been blown out. Father Lindy must have finished early with Delilah. Maybe he had gone to join the others for dinner. I was so hell bent on finding out what they were hiding that I saw this as my only chance. The garden and the courtyard were clear and I was alone. I was going to break into Father Lindy's books and find something, anything.

I sneaked quietly up to the window to make sure the room was empty before I went inside. I quickly cupped my hands over my mouth so I wouldn't make a noise and alarm them to my presence. They were in there, together. I could not believe what I had seen, it must have been an illusion or a trick of my mind. I peaked again. This time, I heard them. I looked through the small window as Father Lindy let out a low moan. There they were. Sister Delilah was perched, sitting up on the writing desk with her habit on the floor. Her skirt was pulled up exposing her bare calves. Father Lindy had handfuls of her hair clutched in his fists. He kissed her from her mouth to her neck and back to her mouth.

"Mother save me" I heard him say.

"Am I mommy now?" Sister Delilah responded.

I almost let out a scream of embarrassment. I threw myself against the wall to catch my breath. There was no way I could go in there now, hell, there was no way I could even face either one of them again. I ran back to the room I shared with Sister Delilah and I slammed the door shut. I paced around the room with my mind racing for a long time. I sat down on the bed and tried to catch my breath. A few minutes later, I heard the door open and Sister Delilah walked in.

"Hey Cassandra, Sister Fischer said you missed dinner, are you feeling well?" She asked me.

As soon as I saw her acting perfectly normal, my blood started racing and I started getting angry. I stood up and started pacing the floor back and forth.

"I finally understand," I started, "I finally understand why you've been keeping secrets. What you haven't been telling me, or anyone for that matter."

Sister Delilah's eyes narrowed.

"What are you on about, Cassandra?" She asked.

"You lied! You've been lying! To everyone! to me, to GOD!" I shouted.

"Calm yourself!" She shot. "What are you speaking of? Tell me!"

"I saw you with him!" I whispered. "I saw you and Father Lindy. Together."

The color drained from her face.

"I don't know what you mean." She said.

"Liar!" I shouted. "Is this why you were so territorial when I came here? Were you afraid I would take his attention? I saw him with his hands on you, kissing you!" I said quietly.

"Cassandra, you must be hungry and tired. You're seeing things." She said and started walking towards me with her hands open.

"Stop! I know what I saw! That's why you rouge your lips, that's why you addressed him by his first name the first time I saw you in the sacristy."

"What are you going to do with this information?" She asked. "Ruin me? Ruin him? Ruin the church? No one will believe you."

"Ruin? Of course not! Do you love him? Does he love you?" I asked.

"No, I don't love him." She waved off the idea. "I don't know if he loves me."

"Then why? Why are you allowing him to-to violate you!"

"He has not violated me. I am still whole."

I sighed in relief.

"If you want the truth, I will tell it to you."

"Please!" I nodded and sat down.

"Cassandra, I came here when I was 13, 5 years ago. I had run away from an abusive father. Father Lindy promised to take me in only if I took the oaths and became a nun. I did, because I needed to be somewhere safe. As I aged and did my studies, Father Lindy took a liking to me. He started paying me more attention until one day he called me into the chapter house and told me that if I gave into him, he would provide for me. I agreed. Every time we are together we get closer to …consummation..." She said. I gasped and covered my mouth.

"No, no, no." she said. "I never let it get that far. I always stop it. I have no interest in an affair."

"Is that why you called this place a prison?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Sister Delilah, you cannot do this, you cannot live like this. Why don't you leave?" I asked.

"And where would I go?" She said.

Just before I could respond, there was a knock on the door. We both stopped our conversation and got deadly silent. There was another knock.

"Cassandra?" A voice asked. It was Father Lindy. Sister Delilah looked at me and shook her head 'no'.

"Cassandra, I know you're in there, open the door." He demanded.

I opened the door and Delilah hid behind it.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Come with me, now." He said and ushered me out of the room.

We walked together back to the chapter house. My heart was pounding in my chest. He brought me in and relit the candles.

"Cassandra, you've not been truthful with me, nor have I with you." He said.

"Father L-" He raised his hand and stopped me from speaking.

"I received two letters this evening. The first was from Mrs. Patrice at the Norfield Orphanage."

I froze, I was caught.

"She didn't let you go, you ran away." He said. "I've thought about a few options since you're only a few days from your 18th birthday. I was going to write her after your birthday and tell her now that you were of age, you had decided to take the oath and become a nun."

I was relieved that he was not immediately going to turn me in to Mrs. Patrice.

"I have also been untruthful to you, and I owe you honesty." He said.

"Father if this is about you and Sister Delilah, I-" He turned to me with fire in his eyes.

"Whatever you're about to say or accuse me of, I can assure you are not true. Watch your words." He said threateningly.

"I won't tell a soul, I swear-" I said.

"-Cassandra!" He interrupted. "Your mother left me a large sum of money to give you when you became of age. Do you know where that money came from?"

I shook my head.

"Your father."

"My father?" I asked.

"Your father was Michael Gaylore, Earl of Hartsborough."

My heart sank into my chest.

"Baron Glendell saw you that day at your mother's house and he recognized you by how much you look like your mother, Zinnia. Before your mother fell pregnant with you, she married the Earl in private. When she told him of her pregnancy, he disowned both of you. You are not a bastard, Cassandra." He said.

I collapsed onto my knees.

"When the Earl died, he left a note to his mother telling her the truth about you and your mother. When her husband died, she decided to find you and take you in. She first went to the orphanage, you weren't there. That's when Baron Glendell reported seeing you. She wrote to me and asked me to release you to her."

I looked up at him at a loss for words, in complete shock.

"I was going to give you the option between going or staying but this business you've mentioned with Sister Delilah has made me realize that you need to leave. You will leave. Tonight."

I felt very dizzy.

"Tonight?" I asked.

"You'll have an escort. Gather your things, Cassandra." He stood and opened the door. "God bless you."

I left and he closed the door behind me. I broke into a run and ran as fast as I could back to my room. I collapsed on my bed and began to cry. Sister Delilah came over and sat next to me.

"What happened?" She said and I told her everything.

"You have to go." She said firmly. "And I'm coming with you."

That night we packed our things, sneaked out the back of the dormitories and escaped through the cemetery.