Chapter Twenty: A Hundred Love Letters II

Ran's POV

"Loving someone's out of reach is desperate finding love to whom the person loves, purpose of what she really wants for her pure heart and clean mind," I read the quote five or six times while I'm in the middle of reading Shinichi's letter.

My heart aches in pain as a lone tear fell down my cheeks.

This form of sentence... They way he acknowledged it has to be something of a great, deeper meaning.

So, that's what how he feels all this time. I thought.

His letters were made in what looks like a bond paper with beautiful handwriting. Some of his letters were drawings of beautiful canvases, like a professional artist drew it by hand.

I remember something quoted on his letter as I was reading most of them yesterday.

He quoted:

"A secret for the food to taste so better is giving it a full menu of overloading, swert but tender love for it to be in a perfect viola! in the taste of many but that cook was just for only one person to dive in.

Each of them was different. It was the same cook but different tastes. Only a percent just want your cooking and that was the person whom personally and respectfully acknowledged your love in the full plate menu."

His interpretation of playing some words is his way of putting his emotions into the letters, sending me some raw signs of his emotions that time.

I can imagine all his struggles of putting himself in a sane state even though he's going crazy on his inner mind.

Putting myself in a risk when I left him and left him only a goodbye letter, it was super hard for me to make it all through without even shaking in fear and guilt.

FLASHBACK:

After the conversation I had with Hattori-kun, Kazuha-chan, Ai-kun, and Sonoko, I had decided to continue what Hayley want me to do.

I packed my things up and was about to walk towards the door to leave when I stopped midway as I remembered what the girls and Hattori-kun told me.

I went back to my room and take a pen and a paper and started writing. As I'm writing, my heart beats fast that it was about to burst. With pain, guilt, and regret, I continued writing it until I sighed and finished it all at once.

It stated:

"Dear Kudo Shinichi,

Sorry for late replies for your questions that I've never been answered because my mouth was shut for a reason I can't tell to you.

Sorry if I will left you alone again and make your heart in pain and sorrow, leaving you with only this letter that says... 'Goodbye and farewell'.

Be a better man. Don' t give up on being you when I'm gone. Always take care of yourself and don't talk to me anymore.

Reasons here are valid but I can't seem to tell you because I can't bear to see your life and our friends suffering because of the risk on loving you. Love is not forbidden, I know, but there's a reason why the walls suddenly came building up between us.

For the last time I had to say goodbye, I just want to wrote this letter with those three words that symbolizes our knot.

I love you. <3 -Ran"

Going to his room, I dropped the letter down the bedside table, quietly placing it before leaving the bedroom door and also leave the main door.

END OF FLASHBACK

Someone knocked to the door making me snapped my head to it. I averted my gaze to the person who's disturbing me as I heard the door was being slammed open.

"Otou-san, I said don't bother me!" I exclaimed as I stood up.

"Ran," he said, his tone of voice was too deep and hoarse making me feel that something was up. I stay silent as I want to hear the next thing he will say. "That detective boy is outside the agency, shouting your name."

My eyes widened as I felt a knot inside my stomach. What is he doing here?

I dashed pass Dad and hurriedly go to the agency and looked through thee window. There, I saw Shinichi with a smile that almost over his ears and a glint of happiness in his eyes as he saw me. HIs eyes dilated as if he saw the most beautiful flower in the whole world.

I noticed a bouquet of flowers in his hands with a heart-shaped box with fancy handcrafts on it.

"Ran!" he shouted making me jolt a little. I notice a few people looking at him so I felt my cheeks flushed red. "I'm here to court you again!" he shouted once more that made my eyes widened.

I'm quivering, not just because I can't handle the huge hole in my chest. I'm quivering in fear and guilt and I could feel that my tears will fall in any second.

I gritted my teeth as I felt my tears fell down completely to my cheeks. "Why?" I blurted out, half-whispering and half-shouting it. "Why do you need to do this?" I asked him but he can't hear me. I'm whispering to myself.

"I'll go in!" He shouted that made my eyes widened. I ran towards the agency's door to lock it up but I was too late. Shinichi was in flash, he's already standing in front of my with a bright aura around him.

I lowered my head. I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes.

Third Person's View

Shinichi felt something was off. His smile faded as he stared at his childhood friend.

"Can I...talk to you?" Shinichi asked when Ran didn't talk even once.

"Why?" he heard Ran blurted out. "Why are you doing this?!" she shouted that made Shinichi stunned. He became nervous as he saw the tears falling down her cheeks like waterfall. "I said goodbye to you, aren't I? Why are you so stubborn?"

He became worried. "Ran..."

"Stop acting like we're still together!" Ran shouted that made his heart crashed into million pieces.

He smiled sadly. She doesn't love me anymore? He didn't asked it to her. He just walked to the table and put the chocolate and flowers there.

Ran stood in her place in surprised. She never thought Shinichi will do that.

Shinichi walked passed Ran but galnced at her, his back facing her as his hands were on his pockets. "I'll be leaving the flowers and chocolates here," he said and gave her an awkward smile. "Take care."

He was about to walk out when he felt someone's hand stopped him by his hand. He knows who it is but he doesn't look back.

"Shinichi..." Ran whispered. He could hear her voice was trembling with the tone he knows so well when he's scared. "I'm...sorry," she said before letting go of his hand.

He looked back and faced her. "Sorry? For what?" He composed a smile to his lips, the lies were now forming between them as the walls slowly building up while they're talking. "For leaving me? You don't love me anymore?"

He saw Ran's fingers are playing with each other as she bit her lip. Eyes weren't focused into his but he saw a glint of the emotion he wants to see.

She's scared... He thought. ...but what does she fear for?

The thoughts of his were confusing him as he stared at Ran, who's the person that made him think of that question.

"I-It's not like that," she said, her voice was getting low as she says every word. "I... I'm..." She's cutting off her words.

She couldn't say it. Shinichi thought, waiting not too patiently for Ran to continue but there's no avail.

He smirked. His heart was aching so badly even though he knew the answer.

"I see," he replied. Ran looked at him. This is what she fears for. Shinichi smiled at her. "You don't love me anymore," he continued that made Ran's heart broke into pieces.

"S-Shinichi, i-it's not like that--"

"Then, what?" he asked coldly. Ran remained silent. "You want to leave me, right? Then, it's fair then. I'll leave too. Goobye, Ran," he said as he turned his back at her and leave the agency.

As Shinichi slammed the door closed, Ran's legs weakened and she fell down her knees as tears kept falling down her cheeks. She felt pain in her heart, it was so bad that she can't barely breathe.

I hurt him. She said mentally to herself as she tried to stand up and open the door to run towards her room. She bumped into someone and heard her name but she just can't pay attention to it right now. I hurt him, now the karma's much more worse.

She locked herself up into her room. It was in the month of July that Ran felt the most painful heartbreak ever and broke her promise to her special person.

~~~

It was noon and the sun was covered in gray clouds. Ran kept tuning onto her phone with sad musics as she stared through her window.

Her mind was still blank. The flowers and chocolates were in her bed, unmoved by her. Her Dad only put them there as he reads the note in the chocolate thing.

Ran sat up straight to the chair while her hands were on the desk as she turned to loom at the chocolate. She also remembered what her Dad said:

"That detective jerk really loves you." - Kogorou

"He broke me? How could you still say that, Dad?"

"You broke him first, don't you? Just read the letter and you'll know what he truly feels. Stop being such a crybaby!"

It was the first time Ran heard her Dad ever lectured him about love and she appreciated that but her heart is still aching so bad.

She grab the heart-shaped chocolate box and noticed a little red folded note. She took it and unfolded it and read it:

"To my treasure who I'll cherish forever,

Even though you love me no more."

Two sentences, fifteen words. It was the one who made Ran's eyes teared up. She looked at the bouquet and noticed many three roses in sight.

I love you. That's what Ran first thought as she stared at the three roses.

So, does Shinichi still love me then?

~~~

Thunder strikes so loudly as the people are walking slowly on the streets with umbrellas in hand. Streets were wet. Vehicles coming back and forth with loud sounds of engine as the droplets were pouring down the vehicle's panes.

Shinichi is just walking slowly, so slow that many people looked at him with curiosity or pity. His hair and clothes were wet. There are people helping him but he just walked pass them. His mind was blank as his heart keeps on beating with the same pain as Ran felt.

He walked down the road alone as he reminisce all the moments he had with Hayley and comparing it with his memories with Ran.

He smiled sadly and laughed without any emotion, so loud that people stopped and watched him from afar as he stopped in the middle of the road, eyes were just dull and gray.

The crossing lane was not yet opened but he's in the middle. The rain is pouring so much now than last time.

The sounds of droplets makes Shinichi teared up. His tears were mixed up with the rain. The weather is embracing him with sadness and pain.

He looked up. He saw the dark sky crying for him. At least something knew what I feel. He thought.

While he is looking up, the busy streets were still going. People passed him. As time passed by, Shinichi can't seem to pay attention to people or to the vehicles. He's just looking up at the sky, feeling the coldness of the rain.

Suddenly, a massive vehicle suddenly came ushering down the streets. Breaks are out of control as the driver was shouting in nervousness and anxiety. The truck's lights blink on and off as it drove uncontrollably straight to the road where Shinichi is standing on.

The driver shouted at him but Shinichi still doesn't move. "Move out!" the driver shouted again. This time, Shinichi looked at the direction where the truck is.

His eyes widened as he saw the light coming near him. Standing like a statue in the midst of his like being risk and the next thing happened, blood spilled to the floor as a body slowly fell down the ground.

In the agency...

While Ran was writing an apology letter for Shinichi, she screamed as a thunderstruck strucked down near their house, flasing up to her bedroom's window. She puts her hands on her ears in fear but then, her eyes widened when she heard something breaks.

As she thought it was the important frame she had, she hurriedly looked at the side of her desk and saw it empty. Her eyes widneed in fear and looked for the frame. It was her picture with Shinichi in Tropical Land.

She stood up and saw the picture frame right beside the foot of the desk table. She sighed in relief. It was facing on the floor. She picked it up and her eyes widened in fear as she saw a crack on the side of Shinichi.

Suddenly, she felt something was off. It was a bad feeling. Her heart is pounding crazy and an idea came to her mind.

Does Shinichi...

Her phone suddenly vibrated on the desk. She looked at it and hurriedly picking it up, thinking it was Shinichi so that her fears will be instantly gone but then, her fear heightened more as the words of the caller rang to her ears.

"Mouri-san, Megure-keibu just called me and... he had a crash and was in the hospital right now."

Ran dropped the phone as her lips quivered in fear.