Chapter 10: The Man Of Her Dreams

Aizen's POV

For the longest time, I convinced myself that love was beyond my reach, a sentiment reserved for others while I remained aloof. Desiree became the unwitting subject of my experiment, a test to prove my own emotional detachment. Yet, despite my best efforts to maintain a facade of indifference, her presence proved to be an irresistible force, drawing me inexorably closer with each passing moment. I reflected on the past mistakes I made in our relationship. I suppose I wasn't the best in communication, something I inherited from my father. I'm just glad that she gave me another chance to be her friend. 

My thoughts wandered on Kenji's question. 'But will you be able to revert to the way things were?' It struck a chord within me, a reminder of the inevitable end looming over our arrangement. What would become of me when Desiree was no longer a part of my life? Would I be able to return to the solitude of my existence before her arrival, or had her presence irreversibly altered the fabric of my reality? 

"At the end of the day, I have to let her go," I muttered, "Besides, if she stayed, her life would be in constant danger." It was a bitter realization, but one I had accepted long ago. Desiree's safety was paramount, and if that meant sacrificing my own desires, then so be it.

I walked into Desiree's room to find her asleep by the window, a manhwa called "Who Made Me Princess" in her hand. I couldn't help but smile. For someone who hates being called princess, she sure reads and writes a lot about them. It was a small contradiction that added to her charm. 

I lifted her up and placed her gently on the bed, taking care not to wake her. As I did, I noticed the book in her grasp, "Who Made Me Princess," and placed it on her desk. My gaze then fell upon a lavender journal, its pages opened invitingly. 

THE MAN OF MY DREAMS

There's a person I once fell for a long time ago. He was tall, handsome, and incredibly charming. I didn't know much about him, but I offered him my heart. He was kind, sweet, and loving. So, it broke my heart when he changed drastically in a span of a year. I won't dive deeper into it as I've written about him before. I don't regret what we had, but I don't want to revisit the pain either. 

Unfortunately, I can't seem to escape him. No matter where I go or who I'm with, he always caught up with me. In the back of my mind, he stayed, haunting me without my knowledge. Even in my dreams, I literally have no escape. He infiltrate my thoughts when I'm with another or when I'm happy with my life. 

It's strange. We haven't had contact in a while and yet somehow, the thought of him still makes my heart flutter. But why? After all this time, why? He didn't like me. I don't even know if he thinks of me or remembers me… So why is it him? 

I wish I knew. How could I be certain about my love if I can't shake him off my head? When he still lingered in my thoughts… Is he my soulmate? The red string of fate person? I suppose I'll never know. 

I found myself overwhelmed with jealousy. 

Who was the lucky bastard? I want to cut him down! 

"Aizen?" Desiree's voice interrupted my thoughts, drawing my gaze to her. She yawned, rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep, "I thought you'd still be in Tokyo until tomorrow."

I approached her, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "I missed you," I confessed, the hint of jealousy still lingering in my tone. "Go back to bed," I urged, gently holding her hand.

"Did you have dinner?" she inquired, concern evident in her tired eyes. 

I nodded, a small lie slipping past my lips, "I did."

"You must be tired," she remarked, stifling another yawn. "You should rest."

I hesitated for a moment before asking, "Can I stay here?"

Sitting up, a flicker of worry crossed her features. "Did something happen?" she probed, reaching out to touch my forehead. 

I shook my head. "I just missed you."

"I'm too sleepy for this," she admitted, settling back down. "Do what you want," her words carrying a subtle invitation. 

With a smile, I joined her on the bed, wrapping my arms around her. No one else could hold her like this. My possessiveness flared up, triggered by my thoughts and lingering jealousy. 

Will she return to him when the contract ends? 

"Aizen," she called, shifting to face me. "You're holding me too tight…"

I buried my face in her chest, loosening my grip slightly. She smelled like vanilla, a scent that always brought me comfort. I felt her arms wrap around me in return, offering reassurance, patting me gently. 

"I'm here," Desiree said softly. "Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll solve it. Just rest, okay?" 

"Can I ask you something?" I inquired, meeting her sleepy gaze with a gentle intensity. 

She nodded, her expression curious. "What is it?"

"Have you ever been in love?" I ventured, the weight of anticipation heavy in the air. 

Why am I torturing myself when I know she's in love with another?

"No,"I said, choosing my words carefully. "Are you in love with someone right now?"

Her gaze bore into mine, irritation etched across her features. "Are you asking me if I'm in love with you right now?" Her voice carried a mix of exasperation and disbelief. "You're delusional, Aizen."

"That's not what I meant," I assured her, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up my neck. "I'm not so foolish as to assume you'd reciprocate any feelings I might have. I'm not an idiot. I know it wouldn't be me if you're in love."

"How so," She straightened up, her expression a mixture of annoyance and scrutiny. "And why do you say that?" Her words held a sharp edge, like a blade poised to strike. "I don't recall ever divulging my feelings to you." Leaning in closer, she narrowed her eyes and pinched my cheeks lightly. "Don't make baseless assumptions without bothering to ask me first."

"So you do like me?" I inquired, my confusion evident as I searched her eyes, feeling somewhat foolish for assuming.

She sighed exasperatedly, settling back down in my embrace. "No," she says, "But I'll answer your first question." Her voice softened, carrying the weight of memories. "I've been in love several times. I'm a romantic, after all. But with each encounter, I struggle to discern which one truly marked the beginning." She paused, a wistful expression crossing her features. "They say you never forget your first love… I thought it was a person named Jake, but moving on from him was surprisingly easy. Vance shattered my heart, and I shed countless tears, yet eventually, I found the strength to heal... However, amidst those fleeting romances, there's only one who lingered in my mind, relentlessly tugging at my heartstrings."

The man of her dreams…

"Oh," I said softly, feeling a pang of sympathy for her inner turmoil. "It must be difficult not to know."

"It's complicated," she admitted with a weary sigh, her gaze distant. "Even now… I'm still sorting through my feelings."

That lucky bastard!

"Will you return to him after our marriage ends?" I asked, my curiosity overwhelming my better judgment. It was a question I feared, yet needed to ask. I'm driving myself insane for asking questions I don't want the answers to. 

She met my gaze, her eyes holding a storm of emotions I couldn't decipher. There was a hint of sadness and conflict swirling within them. "No," she replied, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "I honestly don't know, actually. But I think I wouldn't."

Really? 

"Why not?" I pressed gently, curious to understand her reasoning. 

"I don't recognize him anymore," she confessed with a hint of sadness. "And he doesn't know how I feel anyway. I don't think I'd ever tell him since even I don't understand my feelings. He and I, we grew up to be very different people." Her voice trailed off, a heavy silence descending between us. "And I'm not in love right now. I'm happy reading about love in books and manhwas."

"Who is he?" I asked, my curiosity intensifying. 

Desiree's response intrigued me even more, her sudden blush sparking a wave of curiosity within me. "No one you need to know about," she replied, her cheeks flushed with color. But as quickly as she blushed, she regained her composure, dismissing my question with a playful tone. "Stop asking stupid questions and go to sleep." Her charm never failed to captivate me. Her reactions are so cute.

"One more question," I said.

She closed her eyes dismissively. "No."

"Please," I pressed.

"I'm sleepy," she replied, snuggling close. 

A soft smile spread across my lips as I leaned in to kiss her eye, coaxing her to open them. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" I asked, my voice tender, my hand intertwining with hers. I couldn't help but admire her adorable flustered expression, her cheeks tinted with a rosy hue. "Where would you like to go? If you say yes, that is."

Her expression softened into a brief moment of contemplation, a mix of surprise, disbelief, and a hint of embarrassment lingering on her features. "The Naruto Park," she finally voiced, her tone shy as she turned away slightly, a subtle attempt to conceal her bashfulness. "I've always wanted to go there."

I held her hand gently, a hopeful smile spreading across my lips. "Can I take you there sometime?" I asked, my tone filled with genuine interest. The prospect of exploring the Naruto Park with her ignited a sense of excitement within me. It was an opportunity to shed the weight of our titles as Mr. and Mrs. Nara and simply enjoy each other's company as two ordinary individuals. Plus, the fact that we both share a love for Naruto makes it even more special. It's something I've always wanted to do, but the responsibilities I inherited from my dad kept me from experiencing it. 

"You don't need to dress up as Mrs. Nara. We could just be us for a change." I added, hoping to convey my desire for a more relaxed outing.

"I'd like that, actually," she replied, turning to face me with a warm smile. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation, mirroring my own excitement. "Let's go together. Good night, Aizen."

As she bid me good night, I couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in my chest. I leaned in to press one last kiss to her forehead. "Good night, Princess," I whispered softly. We may not be lovers yet, but perhaps this was the beginning of something new. If we only have five years together, then I vow to make the most of every moment. After all, I couldn't imagine giving my heart to anyone else.