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A Collector's Guide To Caring For Your Pets

Kyouya is seven years old and enjoys making herbivores spontaneously combust. (In which Kyouya collects flame active children because the colours are pretty. By the time someone notices, it's already far too late.)

Ourliazo · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
25 Chs

Care

Chrome startles awake, spluttering in the sudden water that has her drenched in a few seconds. She flips the covers off and sits up, the water flow stopping soon after. She blinks at Kyouya in shock, the boy standing at her bedside with a watering can held with two hands and sunlight streaming in through a window.

"I forgot to water you yesterday," Kyouya says simply. "I hope you don't wilt. I just got you."

Chrome stares.

Half way through explaining that she doesn't need to be watered like a plant, Chrome freezes and gapes at the small shelf near the bed. She must have been rather tired last night because she didn't notice the shrunken heads staring at her with heavy grimaces and leathery skin.

"Do you like them?" Kyouya asks innocently. "They're the only dolls I could find in the house."

.

Before Kyouya notices, almost two hours have gone by while he played dolls with Kcl. He leaves her to the rather complex soap opera she's come up with and tracks down breakfast in the kitchen.

It's there, like always, and he eats his share before taking the rest to his purple. She doesn't even notice him, too intent on interrogating the sister's husband. Apparently Kyouya missed a murder-suicide.

He spends the rest of the morning outside, finding girl things to bribe his purple with. His backpack ends up full of rocks, miscellaneous things and colourful glitter. The glitter is for him.

Kyouya also kidnaps yellow's not-sister, because humans are sociable creatures and he doesn't want Chrome to be lonely.

When Ryohei asks where Kyoko is, Kyouya explains all of this in a calm tone, as if his reasoning is entirely logical and there should be no point of contention that Ryohei can bring up in an argument against the decision.

Though for some reason Ryohei still panics, insists Kyoko is not his sister, and distracts Kyouya with news that Tsuna can fly.

Kyouya, not knowing that Ryohei blurted out the first thing he thought of, went to hunt down his orange.

.

"What do you mean you can't fly?" Kyouya says in confusion.

"Why do you think Tsu-kun can fly?" Tsuna retorts in shock, waving his arms around to express his utter disbelief. "How on earth would Tsu-kun be able to fly?"

Something tells Tsuna that bad things are about to happen.

.

Kyouya fixes the last carabiner to the harness and tugs on it, the rope holding well to the anchor point set into the rocks.

"I want to go home," Tsuna says, completely freaked out but managing to use 'I' instead of 'Tsu-kun' in a desperate attempt to communicate with the insane black haired boy.

Kyouya ignores Tsuna and moves sideways a bit before very calmly Sparta-kicking the child off the cliff face.

Tsuna can't even scream; that's how terrified he is.

The rope uncoils with a long, drawn out hiss from how fast the speed is, rushing over the edge of the cliff. It comes to an abrupt halt, snapping straight and yanking on the anchor point. It stays attached though because Kyouya's equipment gets the job done.

Kyouya peeks over the edge but there's no herbivore on the end, yet the harness is still there. He blinks, wondering if he killed fluffy. Kyouya is rather confused now because he's certain he hooked the herbivore into the harness properly.

Someone clears their throat behind him and he whirls around to find Tsuna hovering a meter off the ground, his hands gushing fire as well as his forehead.

"Perhaps you could just ask me if you want to test something," Tsuna deadpans.

"Why would I do that?" Kyouya asks. "Surprises are much better."

Tsuna makes a face.

.

When Kyouya gets home, he finds that the brunette has been taken away by her not-brother and Chrome went with them to have lunch.

He'll just have to do the lighter test later.

...

Omake – Lighter 3

"Oh, what is that smell?" Tsuna blurts out in horror as soon as he steps into the room.

I-Pin doesn't move from her meditation pose but she does say, "It's incense, a calming peach and lavender."

"It smells like burning children," Tsuna coughs, pinching his nose closed.

I-Pin opens her eyes and raises an eyebrow at Tsuna. "And how would you know what that smells like?"

Tsuna shakes his head and backs out of the room. "It was before your time."